I'm Sorry That I Love You
by blackshoelaces
Summary: Yeah, it's just me. Alexa Zabini. Normal Slytherin girl, who just happens to have a burning, passionate, fiery hatred for Draco Malfoy. Here I was, thinking that Sixth Year would be just as normal as ever. Boy, was I wrong.
1. The Beginning of the End

**Hello everyone!**

**Yeah, my profile went through some pretty major changes. I deleted almost all my old stuff, I'm trying to start fresh! Fun! Anyway, here's my new Fan Fiction, I hope you all like it! As a warning, there will be a few 'potty mouth' words in here, but they're few and far between, so I don't think they matter so much :)**

**I'm also putting this up on Wattpad, so updates on here and over there will probably coincide with each other. If you _want_ to check out my Wattpad profile, see some other stuff I'm writing (nothing is posted yet, but I'm sure something will appear in the near future), go ahead and check it out! You can just search me, same username and everything (blackshoelaces).**

**Yeah, I changed my username too, for any of you that followed me before. Pretty awesome!**

**Anyway, enough babbling on my part. Enjoy the story! Ah, I guess I have to put a disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter, J.K. Rowing is just so amazing that she owns the _whole thing_! I own all characters that aren't found in the HP series.**

**Okay, I'm actually done this time. Read, enjoy, onward!**

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There are three things I feel a burning passionate hate for. Hate is a strong word, that's why there's only three things.

Defeat.

Conga lines.

Draco Malfoy.

Yes, I do hate Draco Malfoy. He's vile, disgusting, repulsive...I could go on and on. It's inconvenient, my vehement hatred for the guy. He's my brother's best mate. My _twin_ brother's best mate. Which means I see him all the time. Which is honestly, much worse then it sounds, because our families have been friends since before any of us were born. Therefore, my hatred for Malfoy has lasted since before First Year. Hogwarts was just an opportunity for us to show our hatred without worry of our parents' watchful glares. Take for example, about a week after First Year started, when he called me ugly and tried to push me in the Black Lake. I had punched him. Nearly broke his nose too, shame I aimed wrong.

"Alex!" a female voice shrieked. I turned, just in time to catch Rae Getzinger as she threw herself into my arms in the major hug of all time. I hugged her back, chuckling at her enthusiasm. Rae was a fellow Chaser on the Quidditch team. She had also been one of my best friends since First Year, when she had applauded me on 'accidentally' setting Malfoy's robes on fire during Herbology. Madame Sprout had given us both detention, where we bonded over picking dirt out of shrub clippers and how much we disliked Draco Malfoy.

"Hey Rae. How was your summer?" I asked, once she had disentangled herself from me.

"Normal enough. My parents kept asking what you were up to, I'm pretty sure they're convinced I'm a lesbian or something. In other words, nothing new!" she grinned widely.

"You know, you've really got a knack for saying the _perfect_ thing," I rolled my eyes, taking the moment to start off in the direction of the train, heaving my trunk after me.

"Well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine?" Rae huffed, grinning anyway. She sat down in an empty compartment.

"It's one of my better qualities, don't you agree?" I countered dryly, sitting across from her. The minutes that followed found the Hogwarts Express pulling out of the station, starting its journey to school. A few minutes passed before we were joined my none other then my brother and the vile villain himself. I only shot Malfoy one glance, but when I did, I couldn't help but notice that he looked far off and somewhat sick. "What'd you do Malfoy? Eat frogsporn?" I couldn't help but point it out to him.

"Nah, I sat in here with you," he nearly sounded normal.

"Glad I provoke such reactions in you," I shot back, maybe a bit too suggestively. His glance in my direction and small eyebrow raise proved that the words were _much_ too suggestive.

"You think about my reactions often?"

"I wasn't aware you had any to speak of."

"Guys! Shut up already!" Blaise suddenly exclaimed loudly over our dispute, glaring at us each in turn.

"You two should just shag. It might fix a lot," Rae suggested mildly, focusing on her fingernails rather in the conversation.

I couldn't do anything except choke violently on air.

"Hey, guys?" a small voice piped up from the compartment doorway, saving me from a reply. We all looked around to see a third year boy standing there, looking meek. It was Sailor, Blaise and my younger brother.

"Hey there, Gryffindork! How's the red life?" Blaise asked him instantly.

"Shut up," Sailor huffed, looking upset.

"You're so mean Blaise," I kicked his leg, hard. "He's not a communist. What is it Sailor?" Sailor glared pointedly at Blaise before turning and giving me that sweet, innocent grin of his.

"They found Lucas, he's up in the driver's compartment. They would've brought him, but they can't get him to come down," he implied the request in his words. I groaned in utter relief.

"Oh thank Merlin. I honestly thought he got left behind. Thanks Sailor. I'll go get him," I jumped up, leaving the compartment and weaving my way down the crowded corridor. People moved aside for me, remember, I'm a scary Slytherin. I ignored all of them, finally reaching the very first compartment. I knocked once before edging inside. A man who I assumed to be the driver was sitting in a chair in the far corner of the room, looking at the top of a cabinet warily. I followed his gaze and saw a massive ball of fluff sitting there, growling quietly.

"You must be Alexa," the driver breathed a huge, relieved sigh.

"That's me. Sorry about him," I gestured to the quivering animal. The driver nodded. I moved so I was right next to the cabinet, looking up at the seemingly adorable fluff ball, until you tried to make him do something. The instant Lucas saw me, he immediately arched his back, the growls fading into deep, guttural purrs. "Come down, there's a good devil cat," I called pleasantly at him. Obediently, Lucas leaped off the cabinet, allowing me to catch him. He climbed, without claws, further up to nudge at my face with his head. I rolled my eyes.

"That's uh, quite a cat you have," the driver muttered. I shot him a look. Nobody disses my cat.

"Thanks," I replied frostily. "Hope he didn't rip anything up," as I said it, my eyes fell on an armchair, the back of which was torn apart and spilling fabric from an obvious cat attack. Good job Lucas. I left, petting the still purring cat lightly. "You, are my partner in crime," I murmured to the cat as I carried him back through the train. Lucas replied by purring louder. Entering the Slytherin compartment again, I found Sailor gone, everyone else still in the position I had left them in.

The next few hours passed without event. Rae and I talked our way through various topics – clothes, the size of Hogwarts bathrooms, guys. You know, the important stuff. My brother and Malfoy pitched into our conversations randomly, sharing their usually disgusting opinions. As we neared Hogwarts, we switched off being in the compartment, first the girls, then the guys, in order to change into our school robes. Lucas was very put out when I forbade him to sit his furriness on my clean black robe, settling for climbing up and curling up at my shoulder instead. I swear, sometimes that cat is half parrot. How he can stay up there remains a mystery to me too, he's so fat.

The walk to the carriages was somewhat hectic, though it usually was. More so this time, as I had to track down a spare cat carrier for Lucas, as mine was apparently gone. Some fourth year girl finally gave me hers, mostly because she was deathly frightened of me, and Lucas. I caught up with the others, as everyone had abandoned me in search of an empty carriage to claim.

The feast was spectacular, as always. My newly achieved good mood didn't last long, because Snape decided to stop by the table halfway through dinner. He proceeded to give me and Malfoy a good earful on ignoring our Prefect duties on the train. How he finds these things out, I have yet to know. Now with the threat of detention over our heads, we stood arguing at the head of the Slytherin table.

"They're _First Years_ not _gnomes_!" I hollered at my fellow Prefect, who just snickered.

"They respond better to degrading terms. See? Oi! Pygmies!" he shouted over everyone's heads. "They're small, it's fine," he told my outraged expression.

"I seem to remember you thinking yourself quite impressive in First Year," I countered.

"I'm different," he said, holding his chin that much higher. I glared at him, while Rae rolled her eyes from my other side.

"First Years!" she called importantly through the crowd. "First Years, please come over here!" she held up a hand helpfully. Within minutes, a crowd of frightened looking eleven year olds were gathered around us. "Hello everyone. This here is Alexa Zabini and Draco Malfoy. They're the Slytherin Prefects, though none of us are sure they deserve it. They're quite impossible to shut up, but they'll get you to your new dormitories. Eventually. Thank you!" Rae turned to me and smiled pointedly.

"Go away," I huffed.

"You're welcome," she stalked off.

"Come on you lot, let's get this over with," Malfoy growled at the group, making every kid's eyes widen. One girl even hid behind her friend. "Good to know this is the future of Slytherin," he mumbled to me as we started off through the school.

"Good to know you're one of Slytherin's finest," I shot back. He glared, and I could see the swearing threatening to come from his mouth. I covered my mouth in mock horror. "Not in front of the First Years! Poor, impressionable, little eleven year olds!"

"You're lucky we're around other people," Malfoy pushed open the door towards the dungeons, probably with a little too much force.

"Why? Can't try to hex me when other people are around to watch me kick your ass?"

"Malfoy! Zabini!" we looked up to see Snape striding towards us. I heard the First Years start whispering to themselves.

"Professor," Malfoy and I chorused dully back to him.

"May I remind you that we haven't even been back at school one day? I've already endured multiple complaints about the pair of you. As Slytherin Prefects_ and_ members of the Quidditch team, I'd expect you to present a _better_ example to the new members of our house," he said, slowly and dangerously. He was actually pissed. I blinked at him for a moment before whirling around, smiling broadly at the group of students behind us.

"These are the dungeons! Our common room is just this way, then off to your dormitories! Boys, please stick with Draco here, girls follow me! We're moments away from warm beds and sleep, all for the purpose of getting up bright and early tomorrow to further our magical education! If you will," I made a sweeping hand gesture back towards the front. "Better?" I asked Snape's impassive face.

"It would do you both good to remember that I can change Prefects whenever I please. If Miss Getzinger continues to do handle your duties more effectively then the two of you combined, I may have to consider a switch," Snape enunciated. With that note, he whirled around and stalked back into the darkened corridors.

After showing the First Years around the common room and to their dorms, Malfoy and I left, heading up one floor. This floor was still part of the dungeons, housing the Slytherin Prefect common room. "How dare he threaten to take away Prefect status! It's ludicrous," Malfoy was ranting.

"He can probably hear you, smart one. On second thought, the whole school can probably hear you. Shut up," I huffed, stopping in front of the intricate tapestry that hid our common room. "Bloodline," I half shouted at it. I was slowly getting more and more pissed with my companion, and a headache was brewing already. To think, I'd only been back a few hours. "That is such a ridiculous password. We need to change it," I claimed, marching inside as the tapestry was magically pulled aside.

"I have no words for how hopeless your cat is," Malfoy replied, staring down at Lucas with a sort of disgust or distain. I wanted to defend my poor animal. He made such a task quite hard, as he was flopped over a dark green ottoman, legs dangling off all sides and his stomach in the air for all too see.

"I call the window!" I shouted instead, running off in the direction of the right side bedroom. It was obviously better, as it had a huge bay window seat taking up one side of the room. The left side bedroom was much more cave-like.

"No way," Malfoy stated, outraged as he followed me. "We put in a 'fair share' rule last year."

"What are we, Hufflepuffs?" I rolled my eyes, scowling. Malfoy obviously agreed, because he had a look that suggested nausea. "Anyway, we also put in a 'dibs' rule in the _beginning_ of the year. So ha ha, boo hoo, loser!" I stuck my tongue out at him, rather childishly. Malfoy opened his mouth, but I spun around and ran inside the right bedroom, slamming the door in his face.

I realized what he was going to do much too late. When I realized it, I ran towards the door that adjoined the two rooms, meaning to lock it. My wand was somewhere forgotten on the bedside table. I nearly locked it, but the door flew open. Malfoy stood there, holding a hissing and snarling Lucas.

"I'll keep your cat hostage," he threatened.

"You'll be dead before morning," I crossed my arms, watching Lucas do his damn best to bite or scratch some part of Malfoy.

"I'll put him in a cage and not feed him," he amended, holding Lucas a little further away from his face.

"I'll steal your Nimbus," I countered seriously.

"You'd never be able to find it," he scoffed.

"It's currently locked underneath the broom shed. If you move it, you have to tell at least one person where you move it to, school policy. I'm very persuasive," I jutted out my hip suggestively.

"I'll tell Snape where I move it to," Malfoy smirked evilly.

"Snape can be persuaded also. If you offer to organize the store cupboard for a month, he's easy to talk to. Didn't you ever wonder how I got out of _serious _trouble after hexing Robert Hugo into a puddle of acid last year? Snape convinced his parents not to take it up with the ministry, and the last twenty years of potion supply orders are reorganized and accounted for. It was a tragic mess beforehand," I smiled at him triumphantly. "If I were you, I'd hand over Lucas and go sulk in your _left _bedroom, and we'll forget this whole conversation happened."

"I'll trade you something for the bedroom," Malfoy suggested, all but throwing Lucas into my arms. Instantly, the hissing mass calmed down, curling up against my chest.

"My dear Malfoy. There is _nothing _that you have that I could _possibly _want," I smiled in mock warmth. "It's a pleasure doing business with you, as always," I backed up, slamming the door in his face. Again. I locked it this time before heading to the large and cozy bed to lie down. Lucas curled up next to me, and I fell asleep with his warm furriness pressed against my face.

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**Until chapter 2!**


	2. Quidditch and Bedrooms

**Hello readers!**

**Here be chapter two, aren't I nice, posting two chapters? Yeah. Anyway. I won't ramble on like last time, the disclaimer is still in place... J.K. Rowing owns it, I don't. Except for the new characters.**

**Read on!**

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"Alex!" a voice suddenly hollered in my ear. I jolted out of wonderful sleep, looking around in wild bleariness for my verbal attacker. Rae sniggered from my bedside.

"Wakey wakey!" she exclaimed.

"If you finish that with some stupid muggle rhyme, I swear, I'll hurt you," I muttered, rubbing sleep from my eyes as I sat up. Rae thankfully and rightly so decided that I had made a genuine threat, falling silent with a grin still prominent on her face. "How did you get in here?"

"I waited outside until Malfoy came down. I promised him I was going to annoy you, and he let me in. Did you not change before bed?" she asked, with a little too much amusement.

I shook my head, unfazed. "I love hygiene. Didn't you know?" my voice dripped sarcasm as I shuffled to my trunk, pulling out school robes and toiletries before vanishing into the bathroom. Rae waited until I was done, and we went together down to the Great Hall.

"You look like _hell_," Blaise greeted me.

"Fuck off," I sat down at the table, deciding to avoid the eggs and bacon route and settle for coffee.

"Language Miss Zabini," a frosty voice suddenly spoke. Shit, why do teachers always appear when you swear? It's like they have profanity magnets in their brains.

"It's my brother sir, I'm genetically entitled," I looked up into Snape's face, smirking slightly. As usual, his expression didn't change, though he dropped the subject all together.

"You passed every O.W.L; an O in Defense Against the Dark Arts, E in Transfiguration, O in Potions, E in Charms, E in Ancient Runes, O in Herbology, E in Arithmancy, O in Astronomy, and E in History of Magic. Would you like to continue everything?" he consulted a sheet of paper as he spoke.

"I'm dropping Astronomy. Other then that, yes sir," I affirmed, accepting the schedule he handed me seconds later.

"You're going to be swamped," Blaise told me from across the table. "All that, and Quidditch? You're going to be a shriveled pile of goo by the end of term,"

"Thank you, dear brother, for that especially appetizing mental image," I said pleasantly as Rae received her schedule next to me. "I still have free periods!" I exclaimed, pointing them out. "This is going to be simple,"

"Don't say that yet. Draco was going on about how much more you guys are going to train this year," he took my schedule in order to look it over.

"Malfoy can just suck it. I don't care," I huffed, rolling my eyes.

"Interesting thought Zabini. Have fun," his annoyingly amused tone sounded from right behind me before a piece of paper was dropped in front of me. It was the practice schedule.

"Fuck!" I screamed after looking it over, leaping up to face him. "Practice every night?"

"Except for Sundays, Mondays, and every other Wednesday," he agreed, with what I can only describe to be an evil smirk.

"Twice on Saturdays, morning and night. You're a bitch Malfoy," I threw myself back down onto the seat, pouring myself more coffee. I already had a headache. It wasn't even nine in the morning.

"Takes one to know one," he replied.

"That was lame," Rae rolled her eyes as I worked on comparing my schedule with the practices. A moment passed before I looked slowly up at Malfoy, who was sitting across from me, having moved onto the more important task of eating toast.

"What do you want Zabini?" he asked, without so much as a second glance at me.

"I hate begging Malfoy, I really do, but I just might for this,"

"I'm listening," he said, with less emotion then a rock.

"Switch the free practice night from Monday to Tuesday,"

"Why?" he asked, in a tone that suggested that he was obviously playing with me. I wordlessly handed him my schedule. "Ancient Runes, Charms, History of Magic, Arithmancy. And a double free period last, what's the problem?"

"Ancient Runes and Arithmancy are the two hardest classes, idiot. And the two that pile on the most homework."

"Don't call your captain an idiot, especially when you want something," he said evenly, giving back the schedule.

"Oh your grand Slytherin Seeker, Quidditch captain royalness," I deadpanned. Malfoy shot me an irritated look. The students around us had fallen silent, more interested in our exchange rather then their breakfast. Our hatred for each other was well known.

"No," he replied after a second.

"What do you mean, no?" I asked, forcing an even tone.

"I mean, no. Monday is the free night," he stated, and I knew he wasn't going to change his mind.

"I hate you," I spat, grabbing both schedules and leaving the Great Hall in a huff, though not failing to miss his amused chuckling at my apparent antics. With my first period being a free period, I headed to the library in order to pretend to read. In reality, I sat in a window seat and stared off over the grounds. Rae found me after she finished breakfast, and we spend the period talking about technique for the upcoming Quidditch games.

The period ended just as Madam Pince got annoyed and kicked us out of the library. Rae and I headed towards Transfiguration, arguing about whether the librarian was having an affair with Filch. "They totally are," Rae exclaimed, taking her seat in the class. "Why do you think Mrs. Norris hangs out in the library all the time?"

"What does that have to do with anything? It's not like the cat is his wingman or something," I scoffed loudly, earning myself a glare from McGonagall.

"What is the idea behind turning objects into animals?" she asked the room brusquely. Hermione Granger's hand hit the air, but mine was already up. She glared in my direction as McGonagall nodded at me.

"To find something about the object that resembles the animal you're attempting to turn it into. For example, if I wanted to turn a rug into a cat, it would be easy, because they're usually fluffy and they have nasty habits of tripping you while you're running by," I smirked as the class snickered quietly at my words. Granger looked murderous.

"Very good. And can someone tell me why human transformation is significantly more difficult, but has the same basic idea?" McGonagall continued. Granger's hand went up again. I remained sitting easily, letting her have the question.

"There is a much higher chance that you'll miscalculate a spell directed at a human, because of their complexity. Finding similarities is still a key thing though," Granger spilled out in one large breath, talking very fast.

"Also, because you need to be aware of human anatomy, because it is significantly different from lets say, a cat. Or a rug, for that matter," I finished quietly, but somehow, the whole class heard me. McGonagall stared at me before nodding curtly. I don't think she appreciated me outsmarting her own house. Granger looked ready to faint at her forgetfulness, and started scribbling furiously on her parchment. I smirked, accepting Rae's quiet high-five under the table.

The remainder of class continued in a similar manner, in which by the end, McGonagall looked ready to team up with Granger and plot my death. Tragic, really. After we were dismissed, Rae and I headed off towards DADA. Sterling was already waiting for us outside the classroom.

"Hey Sterling," I smiled widely as Rae leaped forward to hug the third Chaser on the team. Once Sterling managed to untangle himself from Rae's death grip, he hugged me as well.

"Hey Lex," he grinned at me. "Good summer?"

"It was alright," I shrugged. "Nothing special. Yours?"

"Parents dragged me on some 'bonding' trip," he scoffed. "We barely spoke to each other," he pushed his mess of curly brown hair out of his face and I saw his eye roll. Sterling's family came from a long line of Gryffindors, who were highly disapproving of their son's Slytherin devotion.

Our reconciliation was brought to an abrupt end by the classroom door banging open. "In," Snape barked to the waiting students. Sterling led the way into the classroom, where Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, and Blaise were already occupying a few rows of seats. On the other side of the classroom, none other then Potter and Weasley were sitting, both looking surly.

"You're on a roll Malfoy. Getting in this many fights before lunch? Is it that time of the month?" I sneered, standing in front of him.

"Sod off Zabini, you've annoyed me enough today," he shot back, glaring at me.

"Same goes for you. I just enjoy irritating you. Especially if you still won't move Quidditch practice," I raised a challenging eyebrow.

"Not going to happen. Learn to love it, or we'll just have to find ourselves another Chaser," he replied evenly, looking at me with a maddening smirk.

"Find a Chaser that's better then me and I'll resign," I countered. It was an empty bet, and we both knew it. He would never be able to find someone better. Which isn't technically an arrogant statement if it's true. I had proven myself in second year tryouts and every year since, just like everyone else. I was on the team for a reason.

"Miss Zabini. As important as your quarrels with Mr. Malfoy _must_ be, I'm sure they can be put on hold until after class. Kindly sit down," Snape's voice broke through my haze of anger, making me look around. The rest of the class had apparently decided to show up, leaving me the only one standing. Malfoy was grinning wickedly at me, while Sterling yanked me down into a chair.

"Let go of your wand woman, or Snape might actually dock us points," he hissed, gripping my hand that was clenched around my wand. At least it was still safely in my pocket. I hadn't even realized I'd grabbed it. I let it go, placing my hand on the desk in front of me. Malfoy kicked my chair, and I put my other hand behind my back in order to flip him off.

I spend the remainder of the class pretending to practice non-verbal spells with Sterling, while in reality, we watched Snape yell at the Gryffindors. Once class was dismissed, I walked with Sterling and Rae to lunch. Sitting down, I instantly pulled a plate of turkey sandwiches towards me, grabbing two along with a handful of potato chips.

"You are honestly one of the most disgusting people I have the pleasure of knowing," Blaise murmured, raising an eyebrow as he sat down across from me.

"Didn't eat breakfast," I managed to say, swallowing a huge mouthful of sandwich.

"And who's fault is that?" Rae asked cheerfully, spooning glazed carrots onto her plate.

"Malfoy's," I claimed, gulping mouthfuls of pumpkin juice. Blaise scoffed, but the conversation was dropped due to Sterling starting to scan the Slytherin table closely.

"What on earth are you doing?" Rae asked as Sterling actually stood up to look at every student.

"Where's Nott?" he asked in reply. I scanned the table as well, as did my brother and Rae. Theodore Nott wasn't present.

"Maybe he just doesn't want lunch," Rae shrugged, going back to her food.

"He's not here," Sterling claimed. "I noticed last night, and he wasn't in the dorms. He hasn't come to school yet."

"Think he dropped out?" Blaise asked.

I snorted. "Yea right. If Nott dropped out, we'd know about it. His parents would have a shit fit, and we'd all be dragged to his intervention."

Ah, the perks of being a pureblood family.

"Nott is still at home," Malfoy suddenly appeared, sitting down next to Blaise.

"How do you know?" I glared at him.

He made a slightly disgusted face in my direction, taking in my plate piled with food. "I am a Malfoy. I know these things," he puffed out his chest.

I scoffed loudly. "Your daddy and his daddy got together and gossiped. That's how you know," I corrected. Malfoy started to make a scathing reply, but Rae cut him off quickly.

"So? Why is he at home?"

"As if I'd tell the nosy likes of you lot," he sneered. "Ask Nott when he gets here. Should be in the next week or so."

"Whatever Malfoy. Be a prat," I sighed, finishing off my second sandwich.

Next period entailed double Potions. We ended up walking in a group, consisting of myself, Rae, Sterling, Blaise, and Malfoy. Needless to say, I hadn't been cornered into this willingly. Even Rae was content with the arrangement, as it meant that she could walk a little ways behind Blaise and ogle shamelessly at him.

"Rae, seriously? You feel the need to obsess over my _brother_? I'd be happier if you were infatuated with the stupid ferret," I hissed scathingly.

"Why?" she asked, her gaze fixed on Blaise, who was snickering as a Hufflepuff ran away at the sight of our group.

"Well, for one thing, I would be able to listen to you talk about him without being mentally scarred for life," I sighed.

"I don't talk about Blaise," she defended.

"Uh, yes Rae, you do. And it forces me to think about my _twin brother_ in ways that I _never_ want to think about him in," I stuck my foot out obviously, emphasizing my point with the fact that she didn't even notice. It sent her flailing towards the ground, forcing Sterling to catch her awkwardly.

"Sorry," Rae mumbled to a very confused Sterling. She turned back to me, keeping her voice lowered. "So, are you implying that you _would _think about Malfoy in such ways?" she asked, grinning wickedly. I tried to trip her again, an action that she was thankfully prepared for.

"When giants fly. Which only stresses my point on how disturbing it is when you obsess over Blaise."

"I do not obsess!"

"If you will, recall that week during the summer that you stayed at my house. You ranted for two hours about his breakup with whatshername, and how Blaise should just forget her and move on to someone else. Someone like..._you_ perhaps! And I, being the wonderful friend that I am, listened patiently. I even told you where he was, just so you could go stalk him through Malfoy Manor. Tell me that's not obsession!"

Rae frowned, scratching her head and picking at her bag strap restlessly before sighing. "Keep your voice down," she finally muttered. I laughed, setting my bag down next to a seat. We'd arrived in the Potions classroom, and Slughorn was excitedly beckoning us over to a table of simmering cauldrons.

"I never thought I'd say this..." Sterling mumbled, about halfway through the extended class time. I glanced over at him, thankful for the excuse to stop listening to Slughorn talk about his 'Slug Club' and the brilliance of the potion Harry Potter was somehow managing to come up with. "...I miss Snape," he finished.

I burst out laughing, making most of the class look over in alarm. Slughorn started to chuckle along with me, probably because he thought I was laughing at whatever he was saying. I only laughed harder, and by the end of the class, my potion was a sickly orange color and smelled like burnt sugar.

•••

"Alright Zabini, I'll make a deal with you," Malfoy announced, standing in front of me and blocking the fire light. I looked up from my newly assigned Herbology essay, finding him standing with his arms crossed in determination.

"I'm on the edge of my seat Malfoy, do tell," I sighed, turning back to the textbook beside me.

"I want that bedroom," he began. I snorted, shaking my head. "You haven't heard the deal," he continued, unfazed. "I told you I'd trade something."

I closed the textbook and rolled up the essay, setting both aside and looking up at him again. "And I told you that you have nothing that I could possibly want."

"I'll switch the free practice day to Tuesday. _And,_ I'll cut out one of the Saturday practices."

Ooh, that was good. I glared at him. He was smart, I'll give him that much. Malfoy smirked. I breathed deeply for a minute and cleared my expression. "Nope." I stood up, collecting my things and heading off towards the bedroom.

"What?" he sounded truly surprised, following me.

"You heard me. Nope! You said 'learn to love it.' That's exactly what I'm doing. Good night, Malfoy," I smiled at his dumbfounded expression, closing the bedroom door behind me.

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	3. So the Rain Begins

**Greetings! Here I am, chapter three already? How exciting! Thank you to all who've already reviewed/alerted/favorited, every single email notification brightens my day :) Keep it up!**

**Disclaimer still in place, J.K. Rowling owns it all. Lucky her. I own the new characters!**

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The following evening, I trudged my way down to the Quidditch pitch, already exhausted. Ancient Runes and Arithmancy homework were already daunting, and I had spent the previous two hours pouring over books in the library. Malfoy obviously suspected as such, because he smirked evilly at me as I flung myself into a seat between Rae and Sterling.

"Alright guys, we're due for the Quidditch Cup this year. If it wasn't obvious, we're amping up training time, and I want nothing short of perfection!" Malfoy yelled as a start to the team meeting.

"Team morale, yay!" I piped up from the back, clapping dully. Sterling kicked me. Malfoy glared at me, to which I only responded by pretending to scrutinize the tail end of my Firebolt.

As much as I hate to admit it, I only really had a top of the line racing broom because of Malfoy. Back in Second Year, when his father had bought the whole team Nimbus 2001s, Malfoy had done his dammed best to make sure that I didn't get one. Lucius Malfoy, for whatever reason, had a more courteous moment, and bought seven anyway. I made a deal with Malfoy that I wouldn't dare use the broom, in exchange that he would't tell either of our parents or the school what I was planning to do with it instead.

So, with a brand new and unused Nimbus 2001, I talked Oliver Wood into selling it for me. He was the best option at that time, as he was already getting recognized by Quidditch industries and was somewhat well connected in that regard. Which I desperately needed, as the Firebolt wasn't _technically_ being released to the public at that time. With Wood's connections and my pureblood status, that didn't prove to be an issue for long. I also needed Wood because he wouldn't tell anyone that he was selling a Nimbus for me, as I was only twelve at the time _and_ a Slytherin.

With the money made off of that, I was able to put a down payment on a Firebolt. I paid the remainder off that summer, using the inheritance money I got from when my grandfather died. Sure, my family had enough money already, but my father was already against me being on the team in the first place, much less owning a high quality broom.

So...thank you Malfoy. Stupid ferret.

After a game plan lecture that I didn't listen to, we left the locker room and traipsed out to the pitch. Of course, practice had to begin badly. Crabbe and Goyle, being the idiots that they are, accidentally released a Bludger while attempting to retrieve the Quaffle. They proceeded to decide that it would be fun to practice whacking it across the field.

Fifteen minutes later, we were all throughly exhausted. Rae was hiding behind the bleachers, Marcus Flint was trying to be scarce somewhere around the goalposts, Sterling was sporting a bloody nose, Malfoy was shouting angrily at his excuse for Beaters, and I was fishing my wand from my pocket.

"_Accio," _I hissed, summoning the Beater's bats to me. Crabbe and Goyle looked around stupidly as they lost their weapons, and I caught them as they flew towards me.

"Everyone, to the ground!" Malfoy shouted, rage emanating from his tone. We all touched down in the middle of the field. Flint grabbed ahold of Sterling, who was swaying dangerously as he got off his own broom.

"You...complete...idiots!" I screamed at the two Beaters, who tripped backwards away from me as I started towards them. I wasn't sure what I was aiming to accomplish, but hitting something with the pair of bats in my hands seemed high on the list.

"Zabini, calm down," Malfoy snarled. "Emerillon, get to the hospital wing. Flint, go with him, make sure he doesn't faint halfway there," he sounded almost mocking, but there was obviously some form of real consideration. Especially when the flow of blood showed no signs of stopping. Sterling and Flint left the field, quite slowly as Flint was supporting a majority of Sterling's weight.

"You barely deserve to be in Slytherin, much less have spots on this team!" I had ignored Malfoy, still yelling at Crabbe and Goyle. "You should get kicked off," I spat, throwing the two bats to the side, mainly to stop myself from injuring anyone with them.

"If anyone's getting kicked off, it's you," Malfoy had grabbed the back of my uniform, yanking me away from the Beaters.

"Me?" I shrieked, throwing him off. "Why?"

"If you don't get some form of control, we'd be better off without you," Malfoy wasn't yelling anymore, but his voice was dangerous as he stared me down. We were only inches apart, and I stared right back at him. We stayed like that for a good few minutes, both breathing hard and glaring with expressions to kill.

Finally, I stepped back, averting my gaze. "We can't very well play without a Chaser, a Keeper, and dolts for Beaters," I claimed, shooting another menacing look at Crabbe and Goyle, who had edged away from the group slightly. I looked up at Malfoy again. "Let's just go to dinner."

Malfoy opened his mouth, ready to argue. He closed it again before saying anything. He knew I was right. "Alright, practice is over. We're working twice as hard tomorrow to make up for this, so be prepared. Let's go."

•••

"Stupid...arrogant...no good..._prat_," I ranted, throwing myself in front of a plate at dinner. Rae glanced up mildly from her food.

"Hello Alex. Lovely evening, isn't it?" she replied calmly, turning back to her steak and kidney pie. I scoffed loudly. "What took you so long?" she asked after a moment where I just sat there and seethed.

"Showering," I grumbled. She looked confused and I ignored the look, taking a spoonful of roast potatoes. In truth, I had been purposefully irritating Malfoy by taking extra time in the shower. We shared a bathroom in the Prefect dorm, and I had run to the dungeons in order to get there first. "How's Sterling?" I asked after a few minutes where I attempted relaxation.

"Flint says he's fine. Apparently he had a broken nose. Pomfrey fixed him up, but I guess she's insisting that he stick around in case of a concussion or something," Rae shrugged. "Anyway, the real question is, what's going on with you and Malfoy?"

I choked on the potato I was chewing on. "_What?_"

"Oh come on, you guys looked on the verge of making out or something on the pitch."

"Or something," I knew I was gaping at her. She was speaking with complete calm, like this was a normal conversation. "Where in the world did you get the idea that something is 'going on' with me and Malfoy?"

"Well, besides the fact that he stared at you all the way through DADA yesterday, you're talking about him more then usual. Seriously, we've been back two days, and you haven't pointedly ignored him once. You've taken every opportunity to rant about him."

"My burning hatred is growing," I grumbled. "Why are you completely at ease talking about this? It's disgusting! Why would I _ever_ feel any sort of feeling other then loathing for the guy?"

Rae shrugged absently. "I dunno. You guys kinda look good together," she admitted quietly. She proceeded to cringe, ready for my explosion.

"I'm not hungry," I snapped after a moment of tense silence. I pushed myself up again, storming for the exit of the Great Hall.

"Alexa! Wait! Come back!" I heard Rae shouting after me, but I ignored her. As I reached the exit, I slammed into none other then Draco Malfoy himself.

"Watch it Zabini," he snarled.

"You watch it Malfoy, and go show your stupid face _somewhere else!_" I shrieked, somewhat uncontrollably. I wasn't sure why I lost control, but I couldn't contain my fury. I saw his surprised expression before I shoved past him, sprinting for the dungeons.

I had no idea why Rae's words affected me so much. It wasn't like she'd suggested that Malfoy and I were an actual couple, she'd just been innocently questioning. And yet, I couldn't stop a flow of tears that bombarded me seconds after I entered the Prefect common room. Lucas was curled up in a dark leather armchair. I picked him up, taking his spot and arranging him on my lap. He climbed up to lick my face, apparently enjoying the taste of salty tears.

I wasn't sure how long I stayed like that, letting the cat lick my face and staring into the firelight. I started to get disgusted by the smell of cat saliva after awhile, but I couldn't bring myself to move. I was frozen. I wasn't even sure why, this wasn't that big of a deal.

Was it?

Did Rae's observations mean something? Did I feel something other for Draco Malfoy besides complete and utter contempt?

Hell no. Of course not. I've hated him for sixteen years, that wasn't about to change in a day.

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. Not that I was doing any speaking, per say, but close enough. Malfoy came into the common room, looking brooding and far off. He took in my position and stopped, just standing there.

"Malfoy," I said coldly, hearing my voice crack slightly from lack of use and thickness from tears.

"You've been crying," he stated. It wasn't a question.

"So?" I sat up, wiping my eyes and setting Lucas gently on the floor. He flounced off in the direction of my room, the door of which was cracked open so he could go in and out.

"A normal person would deny it," he reminded me. I vaguely wondered if he just wasn't sure how to reply.

"What, never seen a girl cry before? Normal people deny it when they don't want the other to see their vulnerability. I just flat out don't care about what you see me as," I stood up abruptly, heading for my bedroom. I didn't see him move, but my path was suddenly blocked. "Move aside Malfoy," I growled, not meeting his gaze.

"Why are you crying?"

"You're ugly. Let me by?"

"Not until you tell me."

"I told you. You're ugly, and I have to live in a bedroom that's connected to yours. It makes me sad," I looked at him for a moment before averting my gaze again. He just watched me, still refusing to move. "I watched a bird die today," I blurted. I wasn't sure why I picked that, but it wasn't technically a lie. I _had_ watched a bird die. I had looked out the window during History of Magic, and just happened to catch an owl swooping down on a small bird. It had landed on the window ledge and ate it for the whole class to see. However, most had been asleep, so they missed the spectacle.

"Alexa."

"Why do you care?" I burst, looking up at him. I wished I was taller, so he would stop looking down at me. Malfoy looked shocked, and I shoved past him into my room, slamming the door shut. Lucas made a strange whimpering sound, lifting his head from where it rested on my bed. "Oh, just shut up. Good for nothing cat," I grumbled.

I locked myself in the bathroom, which is probably one of the best places to cry. I mean, think about it. Despite how often bathrooms are described as scary places, they're actually quite safe to cry your eyes out in. I despised myself for the tears that continued once I locked the doors, but couldn't do anything to stop them. I sat on the marble ledge of the massively sized bathtub, trying to calm down using the cool temperature of the surface. It didn't work. I looked around the bathroom, as if expecting to find something that would sufficiently distract me. The only thing I saw was a girl, reflected too many times to count on the mirrors across the room.

It was me.

I stared at my reflection. Naturally, my reflection stared right back. I looked as normal as ever. I wasn't sure why I had expected that to change, but the observation was a huge part of my thought process. The tears streaming down my face were made that much more obvious by my _lack_ of pale skin. Being mostly Italian, my skin was darker then most. It was a lighter tone then my brother's, probably to be described as a warm tan. My dark hair was as long as ever, pulled over one shoulder to keep it out of the way. Shorter strands kept falling over my face in slight waves. Eyes proved to be as dark as my hair, but I could see them shining from tear shed.

It was my appearance.

It hadn't changed.

Then why do I feel so different?

•••

I spent the remainder of the week ignoring Malfoy. It was a normal routine, nobody thought anything of it. Rae respected it, and didn't bring up our conversation. It was forgotten.

Friday morning and double Herbology brought with it pouring rain, which splattered violently against the greenhouse windows as we spent an hour and a half feeding rats to self-fertilizing shrubs with the Ravenclaws. This turned out to be more difficult then it originally sounded, as the shrubs were much more inclined to eat our hands, rather then the rats.

Then there's the fact that the rats were still alive, and were running haphazardly throughout the greenhouse. All in all, this entailed the squeamish majority portion of our group to be standing on chairs, or refusing to catch any of the rats.

"Are these disease ridden?" Rae asked nervously, holding a rat at arms length by the tail, watching it squeak and snarl at her.

"It's like you've never seen a rodent before," I groaned, taking the rat from her.

"I haven't! Not really anyway. There aren't any normal muggle pests where I live," she claimed, watching with a disgusted face as I let the rat crawl around on my shoulder.

"This is gruesome," Sterling huffed, sitting determinedly on a table with his feet off the ground. Sterling has an unhealthy hatred for most animals.

"You're such a girl," Rae snickered, while she jumped around in light skips, trying to avoid touching the ground.

"Hypocrite," Sterling threw back at her.

"No fair! I'm actually a girl, so there's an excuse," Rae claimed. Sterling rolled his eyes, but scooted over to make room for her on the table he was sitting on. I didn't say anything, refusing to get involved. Instead, I picked up the rat again and offered it to the huge shrub sitting closest. It lunged at my head instead, sending me diving for the ground.

"Graceful," Malfoy had joined our little party, my brother standing next to him as well.

"I lost the rat," I huffed in reply, watching it scamper away like it's little life depended on it. Which it did. I didn't look up at Malfoy, feeling slightly awkward. This was the first time he had spoken to me after our conversation in the common room, and I wasn't eager to break our streak of silence. I felt his gaze on me though, and I watched him flick his wand. The rat came soaring back through the greenhouse, stopping once it was directly in front of me. It hung there, squeaking viciously and struggling to get back on the ground. I snatched it out of the air, glaring at Malfoy.

"A simple 'thank you' would suffice," he offered.

"Oh," I replied, pretending to think about it. I didn't say anything else, turning back to the seemingly dormant plant behind me. Slowly, I held the rat towards it, waiting for the attack. When the plant lunged, I threw the rat towards it's snapping teeth. Surprisingly, the plant caught the animal, and the rat disappeared somewhere into the mess of roots, squeaking in terrifying agony.

"Aw, eww," Rae mumbled, covering her eyes with her fingers. Sterling raised himself off the table slightly, trying to get a better look.

I rolled my eyes, falling into a chair triumphantly. "I'm done," I claimed, slumping down in the chair. "And to think, it's only morning."

"That was...scarring," Rae was still staring at the now content looking plant. I looked at her horrified expression, unable to stop myself from snickering. She turned towards me, wide-eyed. "It's not funny!"

"It kind of is," Blaise supplied for me, as I was giggling uncontrollably. I nodded breathlessly, finally falling from the chair and howling with laughter on the dirt strewn floor. And there I stayed, until I was rolling around, sobbing in glee, and had attracted myself a circle of confused onlookers. From somewhere in the background, I heard Professor Sprout asking anxiously what was wrong with me.

"Just a Tickling Charm professor, she's alright," Malfoy's voice replied smoothly. "We were trying to experiment further on the shrubs, and it got a little out of hand. Honest accident, our apologies."

At that moment, and for the first time in my life, I was thankful that he was a lying Slytherin git.

•••

That evening, I sat alone in the library. Rae had come with me originally, but had ran off when McGonagall had come in to do whatever teachers do in the library. McGonagall is apparently aiming to give a string of harsh detentions, because Rae is currently the prime suspect of stealing one of the porcupines we were practicing on during Transfiguration earlier.

In reality, it _was _Rae who let the animal wreak havoc on the classroom. I had been the one to steal it afterwards.

What can I say? Porcupines are cute. These especially, because they're quite large and kinda floppy when picked up.

So, here I was, sitting in solitude in the library. I had considered leaving a multitude of times, but three essays that really needed finishing were mocking me.

"Oh good, you're here," a voice spoke from directly behind me, and I nearly fell out of my chair.

"Squit pish!" I shrieked, mostly because they were the first jumble of letters to escape my mouth.

"Uh, okay," Blaise sat across from me, raising an eyebrow. "I may have to rethink what I'm about to say," he mock pondered for a moment before shrugging one and continuing. "Since you've got the brains of this twin-ship, while I've got the magnificent good looks, you get the honor of helping me with this stupid homework," he heaved his bag on the desk, looking at it with distain.

"Oh, and what part of that were you going to rethink? The good looks bit? Cause I'd have to agree with you," I rested my elbows on the table, cocking my head to the side.

"You can't talk to me like that! I'm your beloved brother! I'm even your _twin! _It's a two in one deal sis," he assured me, leaning back and propping his feet on the desk.

"I can talk to you however I want. Your grades depend on me," I grinned cheekily at him, shoving his feet back to the floor.

"Whatever," he sighed, opening _Confronting the Faceless _and flipping through it with disinterest. "Oh, so you want to tell me what you did to Draco?"

"Uh, what?" I glanced up from scratching a sentence into my Arithmancy paper, raising an eyebrow at him.

"He's been foul since Tuesday. I'm assuming you're the cause, since you usually are."

"Thanks," I sighed, flipping through a couple pages of _Numerology and Grammatica _as an attempt to avoid the subject for a few more precious seconds.

"So?"

"For starters, Malfoy's PMS moments are _so_ not my problem. Secondly, why in Merlin's beard would I talk to my _brother_ about it?"

"Oh, so it's personal enough that you can't talk to me about it? Interesting," Blaise mused, completely unfazed as he continued to flip through the textbook pages.

"Gah, that's not what I meant!" I cried, slamming my head into the open textbook in front of me.

"Oh?" he was smirking now.

"You're making it sound so 'sex life' conversation horrible! Not that I'm thinking about sex lives. Mine in particular. Nor would I talk to you about anyone's sex life! _Mine in particular!_ Not that I talk to anyone about sex lives. Well, except Rae, but she she talks and I pretend to listen. That's not the point. Why are we even talking about this?"

"You're talking about sex lives, I'm talking about Draco," Blaise was grinning at me now. "Though, it is good to know that you have no sex life. Now I don't have to go intimidate anyone."

"Who said I don't have a sex life?" I exclaimed defensively. "And you'll be doing no intimidating whatsoever, even if I sleep with the entire male population of Hogwarts! Can we _please_ talk about something else?"

"Aw, but I could hold these ramblings against you for years!" Blaise smirked wickedly.

"Blaise Montel Zabini, if you ever repeat _any_ of this conversation to _anyone_, I swear, I'll tell the whole school that you lost your virginity to a Hufflepuff. Note that this is a genuine threat, putting into motion every Slytherin Code of etiquette and ethic principle stuff."

"Alright, alright, no need to break out middle names. I'll keep my mouth shut," he held out a hand. I shook it, glaring at him the whole while. "Though, now that we're on the subject and we've sworn not to repeat any of this conversation, why are you so flustered when Draco's involved?"

"I am not flustered."

"Care to reexamine your recent splurge of sexual babbling? Then there's the fact that you shrieked at him for no apparent reason in the middle of dinner on Tuesday."

"I didn't shriek," I mumbled, picking at my quill.

"Uh, you were the topic of every house's table conversation for the rest of that evening. Everyone in Hogwarts heard you," he rolled his eyes, pulling my DADA essay towards him in order to copy. His textbook had since been tossed aside, put off as an unacceptable method of getting homework done. I snatched the paper back, feeling my face grow slightly hot. Thank Merlin the lights in here are dim.

"Blaise, I really don't want to have this conversation with you," I groaned. "It's weird, and super complicated. I don't know why Malfoy is being nasty, why don't you ask him? You guys are supposed to be best mates and all. If you want to know the truth, the first time I spoke to him since Tuesday was Herbology this morning. So, unless he's gotten good at holding grudges for when I yell at him, it's probably not my fault this time," I yanked all my essays to my chest, as he was trying to sneak glances at them.

"Fine, forget I asked," my brother shrugged. "Now give me your DADA essay. And your Transfiguration one, if you're feeling generous."

"I'll make you a deal," I decided, holding the essays a little tighter. It was payback time.

"Okay?" he looked suspicious.

"I'll let you copy my essays, no complaints, for the next _week_," I paused, watching his face break out into a huge grin. "_If_ you ask Rae out on a date. A real one, not just some sweet talk attempt to get a shag out of the deal. A nice, gentlemanly date."

"_What_?" his grin fell as quickly as it had come. "Why? Rae, as in Rae Getzinger?"

"How many other Rae's do we know?" I rolled my eyes, waving the essays around tauntingly.

"Why would she go out with me?"

I laughed, patting him on the shoulder. "You really are thick, aren't you? For being pretty, you sure aren't that observant. Just...do it, alright?"

He shrugged. "Okay, whatever. Essay?" Triumphant, I tossed my essays at him. "I'm glad you think I'm pretty," he mumbled, not looking at me again. I packed up my things, standing up and slapping him over the head as I left.

_Stupid brother._

•••

"Zabini, that moronic cat of yours has attacked me twice, for no reason. Let him back in your room, for Merlin's sake," Malfoy exploded, seconds after I returned to the dorm. I giggled, looking at Lucas's annoyed position on the couch. The cat looked up at me, giving an indignant huff.

"Sorry, can't. He'd attack the porcupine I've got in there, and I'm not sure which would emerge alive," I replied cooly, dropping my bag in an armchair and reaching out to pet Lucas. He allowed it, but looked very upset about the whole ordeal.

Malfoy coughed in surprise. "Why do you have a porcupine?"

I beamed at him. "Don't move too much, it makes Lucas angrier," I advised him happily before turning and skipping off towards my bedroom. I felt him watching me as I edged in carefully, avoiding letting the porcupine out. I waved my fingers at him before shutting the door, letting him sit there and wonder.

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**Hehe poor clueless Blaise. Poor angry Draco. Poor furious Lucas. What will happen next? **

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**Love to all readers!**


	4. Morning People Suck

**Whoa. Chapter 4. Just...woah. **

**Cause I have such AWESOME reviewers already, this quickie update is for YOU! To all who've reviewed continuously, this chapter is dedicated to you!**

**Kinda funny actually, this chapter wasn't even my original plan. I'd moved onto Chapter 5, and then I was just randomly inspired for this scene. So I had to add it in... So that's why it's a shorter chapter...sorry about that :) I decided you all needed to learn about Sailor a little more! Honestly, he's probably one of my favorite OCs that I've ever written...I hope you guys like him too!**

**Yes, I tend to babble during author's notes...**

**Onward!**

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It should be illegal to be forced into getting out of bed this early in the morning. On a Saturday. I should really start questioning whether Quidditch is worth all this effort. But, here I was anyway, sitting in the Great Hall and falling asleep over my breakfast of toast.

"Zabini. What are you _doing_?" I jolted awake, finding Malfoy to have taken a seat across from me. Wearing normal clothes.

"Eating. Cause we have a stupid practice this early in the morning. Which you've apparently forgot," I looked at his regular attire pointedly. Malfoy smirked, taking the untouched piece of toast on my plate and eating it thoughtfully.

"Did I forget to tell you? I did, didn't I? How silly of me. Practice is canceled for this morning, the Gryffindors are having tryouts at seven-thirty," he shrugged. "I meant to tell you," he claimed. I didn't believe him for a second. I felt my mouth drop open. I sat up straight, glowering at him. Malfoy had the nerve to start snickering, still eating my toast. I threw my own half eaten slice at his head, which hit him square on the forehead. Crumbs flew from the toast, littering themselves in his hair. They were quite obvious against the white blonde. It nearly made me feel better.

"You two are up early," Rae's cheerful voice plopped itself next to me. "Alex, aren't you definitely not a morning person?"

"Of course I'm not a morning person! You've known me for six years Rae, you shouldn't have to ask!" I hollered. She raised her eyebrows, looking somewhat interested at my temper. It was only then that I took in her outfit. She was as normal as Malfoy was. "You _knew_!" I yelled, gesturing wildly at her.

"Uh, I know a lot of things. What in particular?" she asked calmly, dumping porridge into a bowl.

"Practice being canceled!"

She looked back around at me, still only appearing to be somewhat interested. "Yea, of course. He told me," she gestured across the table and the now openly chuckling Malfoy. "He said that he had already told you," she shrugged.

"And you _listened_ to him?" I exclaimed, shoving my plate aside to let my head fall onto the table instead.

"Come on Zabini, don't you want to watch Gryffindors fail at Quidditch? Thought you wouldn't miss it, considering that you brother is trying out," I heard him stand up. I lifted my head slightly, watching him shake his head and run his hand through his hair to get the crumbs out.

"Sailor is trying out?"

"Seems you're the last to know everything around here," Malfoy shrugged before leaving me sitting there to gawk after him.

"Git," I grumbled, staring at the wood of the table. Rae was grinning as she ate her porridge. "What are you so happy about?" I snarled. She openly started laughing. I looked around to glare at her, finding her to be attempting a straight face, but failing spectacularly.

"Honestly Alex, it's funny!" she finally giggled.

"No it bloody well is _not_ funny!" I yelled. She only laughed harder, finally abandoning her food to just giggle. "Since when do you take the side of evil?" I mumbled.

"Malfoy being the 'evil' in this scenario?" she checked.

"Isn't he always?"

Rae just laughed again, grabbing my arm. "Come on, show sibling support!" she urged.

I scoffed. "I didn't even know Sailor could fly a broom," I huffed, allowing her to drag me off anyway.

"He can't be awful, he's got the Quidditch genes," Rae insisted. "There's you, and Blaise isn't half bad. I'm apparently better then him though, cause I got his spot on the team," she did a little victory dance as we walked.

"Yea, yea, good for you," I sighed, crossing my arms. "Though I suppose that's a good thing, because then I'd have to have my brother as a fellow Chaser. That wouldn't end well."

"Come on, cheer up!" Rae exclaimed after a few minutes where I continued to sulk. "You're awake now anyway, might as well get entertainment out of the deal! And at least you don't have to suffer Malfoy in practice," she clapped enthusiastically. Damn Rae for being a morning person.

"All right, let's go make fun of Sailor then," I surrendered, walking with more purpose to the pitch.

"Good of you to show up," Malfoy was already sitting in the Slytherin side of the stands as we approached. He shot me another vicious grin as he spoke. The rest of the team was there too, watching the bumbling group of players down on the field. I ignored him, taking a seat next to Sterling.

"Wonder how long it'll take for Potter to notice he's got Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws down there," Sterling said in an undertone, indicating a group of players dressed in yellow and yet a few more dressed in blue. I snorted, leaning forward to rest my arms on the railing of the stands.

Looking over the gathering of people, I finally found Sailor. He looked quite small, fidgeting around while surrounded by a few Fifth Years and a couple of Seventh Years. He was looking around the stands, finally looking right up at me. I gave him a half wave, to which Sailor hid his head in his hands. I snorted, leaning back again and tucking one foot under my other leg. It only took a few more minutes before Potter blew his whistle, starting with tryouts for Beaters. Our whole Slytherin team would boo and hiss every time a Gryffindor player would take off. It was fun, and very entertaining when it earned scathing glares and fumbles.

"You know, if you think about it, we're _helping_ Potter," I claimed, watching a Forth Year drop a Beater's bat after we all booed him. "This determines who can stay playing under pressure. He shouldn't be glaring at us in such a way," I looked towards where the seething Gryffindor captain was standing, looking up at us. I waved, soon joined by the rest of the team. Even Malfoy looked somewhat amused.

"Hey look! Sailor!" Rae leaped up, pointing wilding as my brother took off into the air. I leaped up after her, letting out the loudest cheer I could possibly muster. It echoed across the pitch, making Sailor do a huge turn to glare at me. I gave him a thumbs up. He responded by a much less encouraging hand gesture.

"My little brother just flipped me off," I stated unnecessarily.

"For good reason," Malfoy snickered. I passed on Sailor's hand gesture. He just continued to smirk, turning back to watching the tryouts.

"He's trying out for Seeker? Kid's got nerve," Sterling commented. "Their _captain_ is the Seeker!"

I let out another cheer, starting a strange dance in the stands. Rae joined me, and we were soon dancing like idiots while Sailor flew around the pitch. "Think we're being distracting yet?" I asked Rae quietly.

She shrugged. "May as well keep going, just to get the point across."

As we continued dancing and I kept up my obnoxious hollers across the pitch, Potter apparently got fed up with is. "Zabini!" he yelled towards us.

"Yo Potter!" I screamed back, giving him a two fingered salute.

"You've sabotaged enough, could you find it in yourself to _stop_?" he demanded.

"Come on Potter, sibling support!" I called back. "Gotta cheer for my brother!"

"A little quieter would be great!" he snarled back. I gave him a thumbs up before going back to my outrageous dancing. Rae continued with me, though we were both absolutely silent. The rest of the team continued their jeers and hisses, louder now that Potter had prohibited _me_ from making sound.

I actually paused after the Snitch got released, watching in real awe as Sailor took off after it. It was truthfully, phenomenal. The kid could _play_. I even noticed Malfoy falling silent, watching Sailor catch the Snitch in what looked like some sort of record time. Even Potter paused after the catch was made. After a moment, he gave another order that I didn't hear. It brought Sailor back to the ground, and the Snitch was released again. After a few moments, the whistle blew and Sailor kicked off again, flying high into the air to scan the field.

Everyone waited. The whole pitch seemed to hold it's breath. Or maybe that was just me. I'd long since stopped all movement, just watching with what I was sure was a shocked expression.

A couple minutes passed, then Sailor took off into a dive. He was near the goal posts. As he dove, he made spirals around the post, finally reaching out a hand while perfectly up and down. He pulled out of the dive at the last second, flipping over and floating to the ground, offering the golden ball to Potter. The triumphant smirk was plainly visible on Sailor's face, an expression that made him look worthy of Slytherin house.

"Well damn," Rae plopped back down onto her seat. I sat back down too, much slower as I watched Potter stare at my brother. "What a waste of talent. It's not like Potter is going to replace himself."

"Who knew Sailor could fly?" I asked at large to the team. Nobody replied. "This is how I felt when I discovered that Crabbe and Goyle knew how to talk," I muttered, glancing at the two Beaters. They looked mildly surprised, as if not sure if I was insulting them or not. I rolled my eyes, turning my attention back towards tryouts. Sailor was sitting to the side, leaving Potter to finish picking his team.

Once the lineup was made, all I recognized were the two Weasley siblings and Bell, who had been on the Gryffindor team in previous years. The remaining Chaser was a short girl who I bet Potter only picked because she could duck under Bludgers easily. The Beaters were also unrecognized. Comparing them to the Weasley twins from years previous _and_ the fact that they looked like anyone could drop-kick them across the field, I was left pretty unimpressed.

Potter beckoned to Sailor, and the two had a pretty lengthy conversation off in the side lines where nobody could hear. Potter seemed to talk with his hands a lot, while my brother just grinned and shook his head. Finally, Potter gave him a pat on the shoulder, which sent Sailor heading off the pitch. I groaned and booed along with the rest of the Slytherins, making Sailor look over his shoulder and beam widely at us.

"Wonder what happened," I muttered. "I'll see you guys later," I said, pointedly only talking to Rae and Sterling. With that, I ran down the bleachers and across the edge of the field, following Sailor into the castle. Reaching the courtyard, I looked around for my brother.

"Hey Lexi," his quiet voice said happily from behind me. I turned, finding him sitting against a stone pillar.

"Sailor! You seriously need to tell me these things! You can fly?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "I watched you and Blaise practice with Drake enough, I thought I'd give it a shot. I used to practice with the brooms you guys would leave out. I would chase rocks, because levitating things was the only real spell I knew. I liked it, so I thought I'd try out for the team," he shrugged nonchalantly.

I threw my arms around him, making Sailor squeak in surprise and awkwardly pat my head. "I can't believe it, you're actually a Gryffindor," I concluded, breaking away from him to take a seat across from him. "If challenging the captain of the team for his spot isn't brave, your house has got too high of standards," I beamed at him.

"It's not like Harry would actually give me the spot," Sailor shrugged. "It was fun though."

"What did he say to you?" I asked, thinking of the long conversation they had. Sailor surprised me by going slightly pink. "Whoa there, was that _not_ an outright rejection?" I demanded, raising my eyebrows. Sailor ducked his head, turning redder still.

"Well...he offered to talk to McGonagall to see if we could switch off games. Like, he'd play one, and I'd take his spot for the second, and so on."

"Sailor!" I screamed, shocked at the offer.

"Calm down, I refused," he shook his head. "We only play three games total anyway. He tried to insist, but I turned him down. He put me on as the substitute instead. I'm allowed to practice with the team and everything, which subs apparently don't usually do. It's pretty cool," he grinned at me, ruffling his own hair restlessly.

I grinned, shaking my head as I stood up again. "You're good Sailor, I'll give you that."

"Um, thanks?" he questioned, smirking at me anyway.

"Should've been a Slytherin," I told his sly expression. "Though, I may have to rethink my lack of acknowledgment that you're my brother."

"Well, thanks a bunch," Sailor rolled his eyes. "Go back to your creepy Slytherin friends, it'll wreck my image to be seen talking to you," he pretended to wave me away, trying to look pompous. I recognized the expression as an imitation of Malfoy. I snorted, hitting him over the head lightly. "Go tell Blaise that you're actually good at Quidditch. Mock him while you're at it, considering that you got offered a spot which you _refused,_ while he just got booted off."

"I'm not going to mock him," Sailor resisted.

"Why? He's your brother, he's a Slytherin, and I'm giving you outright permission to make him feel as bad about himself as possible."

"Since when do I need your permission?"

"You don't, but it makes it more justifiable. So go now, mock away, bask in your own glory!" I waved at his somewhat disgruntled expression, skipping off across the courtyard.

Why couldn't we all be innocent Third Years?

Filled with giddiness at Sailor's success, I continued skipping through the castle. Focused only on going to the common room to annoy Malfoy and get some much needed sleep before the evening practice. Which I was sure Malfoy wouldn't be nice enough to cancel.

I saw the interaction going on at a far off and secluded bench. An interaction that consisted of my _other_ brother, and none other then Rae Getzinger, who looked ready to explode.

And I, being the 'focused' and 'intelligent' person that I am, thought absolutely nothing of it.

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**Thoughts on Sailor? I'd love to hear em' :) *hint hint *_review_* nudge nudge***

**Yes, that was a little whisper in your mind to hit that big blue button right under this note. Listen to the whispers!**


	5. The Return of Theodore Nott

**Another update! Isn't this cool? :D**

**I'm super happy right now, because I've gotten my poop in a group and actually ordered my dad something for Father's Day! So, I thought I'd reward myself by posting this for you lovely readers! I'm a horrible daughter, waiting until the last minute...oh well. In my defense, I have no concept of time, then I was all 'holy crap, it's on Sunday...'. Yeah. **

**See, I love you all so much that I had to give you all that little rant. An insight into the (crazed) mind that brings you Alexa Zabini!**

**Continue on reading!**

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"ALEX!"

Oh, happy Sunday mornings.

I groaned, rolling over. It was a weak attempt to get away from the overly excited voice that continued to scream my name. Curse Malfoy for letting her in again. Curse him to the depths of hell. Curse him til he's dead. Curse him, curse him, curse him, curse him –

"ALEXA ZABINI, GET UP RIGHT NOW!"

"Oh my god Rae, if you don't shut up I will set Lucas on you," I sat up, looking straight into the face of a very drowsy looking porcupine as it shuffled around at the foot of my bed.

"Oh yea, speaking of which, Malfoy is planning on killing Lucas. FYI," Rae plopped down on my bed cheerfully.

"What? Why?"

"Apparently he spent the whole night howling cause you won't let him back in your room. Which is why Malfoy isn't here right now, he's gone to sleep in the boy's dormitory for awhile," she started clapping maniacally. "You'll never believe what happened to me yesterday!"

"I'm on the edge of my seat," I yawned, pushing myself further into a sitting position.

"Blaise asked me out!" I was sure she screamed loud enough for all of the dungeons to hear.

"What?" I was truthfully surprised. I was sure he would've waited for awhile, long enough that I would've had to remind and pester him. But the next day? This was somewhat fishy.

"Yea! _Your_ _brother_ asked me out! Like, totally out of the blue! See, I was going to tell you yesterday at evening practice, but you spent the whole time thinking about killing Malfoy. I thought it wasn't the best moment for you to appreciate this news fully."

"Seriously? A real date?"

"Yes! He said we could go to Hogsmeade or something," Rae sprawled out over my bed, sighing happily. "I'm going out with Blaise," she sang quietly, very sing-song like. "Hah, wait til Greengrass gets a load of this. She keeps giving not so subtle hints on how she prefers Italians. I mean, it's not like she's wrong. Italian boys are yummy. So are you, with all your Italian smokiness, which just proves the point."

"I suppose I should thank you," I snorted, dragging myself out of bed. I grabbed clothes, shuffling into the bathroom to wash up and change. I don't think Rae noticed, as she was humming dreamily and trying to pet the porcupine.

The first thing I saw in the bathroom was a piece of paper stuck to the mirror over the sink. I pulled it down, finding a drawing of a dead cat. There was no note accompanying the picture. Gee, I wonder who this could be from? I rolled my eyes, changing into jeans and a long sleeved shirt sporting the Slytherin crest.

"Breakfast?" I suggested to Rae as I reemerged. She agreed, and we started in that direction. Lucas was alive and well in the common room, thank Merlin.

"So, you should really name that porcupine, if you're set on keeping him," Rae declared, skipping along happily.

"If you're suggesting that I name him after my brother, please don't continue that thought," I pleaded, smirking as she glared.

"I'm respecting that you think my girlish fantasies about your brother are repulsive. We're switching subjects! I updated you, and you'll receive updates along the way until I can gush after the date. That's how this goes," she decided.

I grinned at her. "Rae, it's moments like this when I rediscover how much I love you as a best friend," I informed her.

"Yes, you have to love me. I'm lovable," she grinned. We sat down at the Slytherin table across from Sterling. He looked quite exhausted, slumped over his breakfast.

"Sterling, it's Sunday. You're allowed to be sleeping," I told him gently, prodding his arm.

"Oh, I know," he grumbled. "I've got detention in fifteen minutes with Flitwick. Apparently you're not supposed to laugh when he falls off his stack of books."

"I know!" I exclaimed, gesturing wildly. "I learned that last year. Weird, isn't it?"

Sterling laughed, raising his head slightly. "So what's up in the girlish land of butterflies and unicorns?" he asked, prodding his soggy bowl of cereal.

"Blaise asked Rae out on a date," I supplied, cutting off Rae as she started to scold Sterling on insulting women.

Sterling choked on his food. "Oh yea, say that calmer, why don't you?" he coughed. I snickered, spooning scrambled eggs onto my plate. Rae was explaining the situation to him happily, leaving me to zone out and ponder. Why had Blaise asked Rae out so soon? When was I going to get my essays back? Where was Malfoy? Why did I care? Why do these eggs taste like bogies?

"You had something to do with this, didn't you?"

I looked up vaguely, finding Sterling to be staring accusingly at me. Rae had disappeared somewhere.

"What?" I asked stupidly, eating another mouthful of food.

"Blaise asking Rae out. You had something to do with it."

"What? Of course I didn't!" I exclaimed. How in the world did he come up with that conclusion at once? Not that it was untrue, but _still._ "Where'd Rae go?"

"Weren't you listening? No, of course not. She went back to the dungeons, apparently she forgot something," Sterling shrugged. "Blaise isn't that observant, you say so yourself. Someone had to have given him a push towards Rae. It was you, wasn't it?"

"No!" I continued to lie, not being entirely sure why. "I have to go. Have fun at your detention," I smirked at him before jumping up and hurrying away. Lucky for me, I didn't have to look long before I found my brother in the library, pouring over my essays. "You asked out Rae," I blurted, sitting down across from him.

Blaise looked up in surprise. "I did. We made a deal," he said, like I'd forgotten.

"Yes, I know that," I waved such a fact off. "Why'd you do it so soon?"

"Was I supposed to wait?" he didn't look up at me again, scribbling sentences onto his own essay.

I scrutinized him for a minute before gasping quietly. Blaise glanced up, and looked slightly worried at my thrilled expression. "You _like_ her!" I decided, peering into his face. "You already liked her!"

"Says who?" he grumbled, averting his gaze again. I clapped my hands together, ignoring the shushing sound that came from the direction of Madam Pince.

"Oh my gosh Blaise, this is great! Seriously, you have no idea. Just...be nice to her!" I pointed at him seriously before jumping up and skipping away. I was down a flight of stairs before I collided, full force, into a human shaped object. "Oh no, I'm so-" I registered who it was and scoffed. "Oh, it's you."

"Really? Not even the slightest bit happy to see me?" Malfoy sneered, pushing me off him. I shoved him back for good measure, rewarded by his glare.

I pretended to think about it. "Well, since I'm genuinely concerned for Lucas's well-being because of you, I can't say that I am," I snarled, crossing my arms.

"So you liked the drawing?" he smirked, looking very proud of himself.

"Up to your usual twelve year old standards! I was very impressed," I mocked. "Where are you going anyway?" This was the third floor. Wasn't he supposed to be sleeping in the boy's dormitory in the dungeons? Or brutally murdering my cat?

Malfoy looked at me for a minute. I looked right back. Finally, he smirked. "Why do you have a porcupine in your room?"

"Cause it's adorable and I enjoy causing havoc that McGonagall has to deal with. Where are you going?"

He looked quite irritated that I'd actually answered him. "The Owlery," he replied grudgingly.

"Why?"

"I'm going to teach the owls how to kill stupid cats," he retorted coldly.

I raised my eyebrows. "Is that so?"

"Yes, that's _so_," he drawled. "Excuse me," he shoved past me, striding up the stairs. I watched him curiously for a minute before turning and heading back down. Once I got to the Entrance Hall, I found Rae having a stare-off with Pansy Parkinson.

"Back off Parkinson, before I make that face of yours uglier then it already is," Rae growled. I saw her hand in her pocket, and I knew she was gripping her wand.

Pansy sniggered viciously. "You're just going to be another notch on that man's bedpost Getzinger. He'll shag you and be done with it, end of story. Blaise, Draco, and Theodore run this school, and you're just the newest plaything."

"Oh yeah? What does that make you? Malfoy's fat jester that he gets to order around?" Rae shouted back, continuing to stand up straight and unfazed.

I stifled a snort, going over to stand by her side. "She's right Parkinson. Back off, and if you say one more thing about my brother, I will hex you until you can't tell your ass from your head. I'm not sure that'll be much different for you, but I can assure you that it'll be much more painful."

"Stupid bitch," Pansy spat in my direction before whirling around and stalking into the Great Hall.

Rae started giggling. "She really shouldn't do that. Her fat doesn't compliment strutting very well."

"I know," I laughed with her. "You don't believe anything she said, right?"

"I won't if you tell me I shouldn't," Rae replied, which I found to be a very smart response.

"You shouldn't," I grinned.

•••

Almost two weeks later, I sat at dinner with Rae. She was going on about how much she hated Slughorn, with a seriousness that I could only find funny.

"I'm serious! He's retarded or something, just wait until they take him to St. Mungo's," she insisted. I only laughed harder, trying to compose myself enough to eat roast chicken. "Oh my god," Rae suddenly gasped quietly, her gaze somewhere towards the entrance of the Great Hall. "Alexa, look," she nodded in that direction.

I whipped around and choked on the food that was still in my mouth. "Nott!" I heard my own scream, and I was leaping up and running towards him before I could actually think about what I was doing. I threw my arms around him, running into him at full speed.

"Alexa," his voice was quiet in my ear as he caught me. I wasn't sure how he managed to do it without losing balance, but he was hugging me back tightly none the less. "Come with me," he took my hand, all but dragging me from the Great Hall. I tripped slightly as I followed him, hurrying to keep up.

"Nott- what?" I tried to ask, but he didn't say anything, continuing on towards the front doors. It wasn't until we were outside that he slowed down.

"Walk with me," he suggested, as if this was all completely normal. I didn't reply, letting him pick a route towards the lake. We stopped walking once we reached the waters edge. He still hadn't let go of my hand. I looked over at him, seeing his face in the moonlight, which was made brighter by the reflection of the lake.

"You look terrible," I informed him. It was true. He had obvious dark circles under his eyes, and his face had a sunken appearance.

Theodore looked at me, finally giving me his strange and crooked smirk. "You sure do know how to make a bloke feel better," he said. I smiled, reaching my free hand up to brush at strands of dark hair that were falling over his forehead. He just watched my face with an intense expression. I lowered my hand after a moment. He caught it on it's way to my side, bringing it back up and kissing it lightly. It was a strange and gentlemanly move, and for some reason it seemed perfectly right at that moment.

I felt my own hard blush, and I wasn't sure why he was affecting me so strongly. "What happened to you?" I finally asked quietly.

"Would you believe me if I said I couldn't tell you?" he guided both my hands around his neck, placing his own around my waist.

"If you were being honest."

"I am," he closed his eyes, his expression one that I could only describe as distress and true pain.

"Theodore-"

"Alexa," he cut me off. "I'm going to say something, and you can't take it the wrong way."

"Okay," I whispered, inwardly becoming somewhat frightened of him. He looked at me with shockingly green colored eyes.

"Shut the fuck up," his voice was almost harsh. With that, his eyes closed again and his forehead rested on my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him tighter, burying my face in his neck.

I started to cry silently. I wasn't even positive on why. Maybe it was because he seemed like he wanted to cry, but couldn't. Maybe it was because I was confused, about everything that had been going on at school and now everything that I didn't know about him. Maybe it was because I really was a fluffy girl at heart, and every girl needs to break down and cry once and awhile.

Whatever the reason, I didn't comment, he didn't ask. He did, after awhile, pull back to wipe my face gently with his thumbs. He gave me the sleeve of his robes to dry the rest of my face on. Once I was presentable again, he wrapped an arm around my waist as we returned to the castle.

We went back to dinner, and he didn't let go of me once, eating with the one hand while the other traced lazy patterns into my side. He spewed obviously practiced lies to everyone who asked why he was so late, something about family death and him having to look after things for awhile.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Theodore laughed as we walked hand in hand around the school. The halls were mostly empty, as students were either already in their common rooms and beds, or still eating dinner. "You're still a Prefect?"

"Don't sound so shocked," I shoved him with my shoulder, only making him laugh harder. "I'm a good Prefect!"

He scoffed loudly. "Yeah, and I'm a Gryffindor. Remind me what's in the job description of a Prefect? You have to...help First Years?"

"Brought them safely to their dormitories on the first night," I claimed proudly. Best to avoid the true details of that endeavor.

"Okay, fine. Good student overall?"

"I get fantastic grades, you know that. Not sure how I manage it, but it's true. I've got extra stuff too, so that makes me an even better student."

"Right. An 'up to snuff' member of the Hogwarts community?"

"I have no enemies in Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. I'm civil to Gryffindors. I have a younger brother in Gryffindor, for crying out loud! That deserves extra points."

"I wasn't aware we were counting. Alright...you don't cause any sort of trouble around school?"

"Uhm..." I shuffled my feet, looking around slowly. "I have yet to get more then one detention in a row. This year."

Theodore snorted, pulling me closer to take his hand away from mine and wrap it around my shoulders. I grinned, hugging him around the waist. "Please, I've already heard porcupine rumors," he snickered.

"You have not."

"Have so. That, and Draco is going to kill Lucas. I sense the two incidents are connected."

"Not directly, but yes," I sighed in defeat. "That's all beside the point. You know, it's not that huge of a shock that I'm 'still' a Prefect. They're technically not supposed to change the Prefects once we've been chosen, unless we do something super terrible. Anyway, be nice to me."

"Or what?" he smirked challengingly.

"I can dock you points. And give you detention."

"You can't dock points!"

"Yes I can. You're in my house, and I can dock from my own house. I just can't dock from Malfoy, cause he's a fellow Prefect. Maybe we're supposed to get along in that regard."

"I'm sure that goes over well."

"Fantastically."

We found a weird little alcove that was placed in front of a window, sitting there quietly. I leaned against the wall with my legs resting in his lap, while Theodore sat on the edge of the alcove ledge, his feet dangling off in the strangely unused space. Hogwarts architecture doesn't make much sense.

"Alexa?"

"Theo?"

He shot me a glance, to which I just grinned. He sighed. "Why did we break up?"

I wasn't expecting that question. "Because you're one of Hogwarts' pretty play boys who couldn't be tied down with one girl," I replied bluntly.

"I'm being serious."

"So am I."

Theodore nodded slowly, intertwining our fingers slowly. "We should go. Curfew. Not that such a word means anything to you. Prefect," he rolled his eyes, getting up and reaching down to pull me up. I laughed quietly, and we walked slowly to the dungeons.

"Good night Theodore. I'm glad you're back," I murmured once we reached the point where we would part ways.

"Me too," he whispered, slowly backing me against a wall. I looked up at him, watching him seem to battle internally with himself.

"What's wrong?" I finally asked. He frowned ever so slightly, but didn't reply. Instead, he closed the distance between us, kissing me firmly on the lips. Butterflies fluttered haphazardly in my stomach, and I smiled into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

"Sleep well Alexa," he said against my lips, placing another kiss on my forehead before turning and walking off towards the normal dorms. When he reached the stairs and turned, finding me still standing there, he smirked and winked before continuing. I let out the breath I wasn't aware I was holding, tripping slightly on my way to the tapestry.

"Wecan'tagreeonastupidpassword," I said quickly to it. It pulled itself aside, and I rolled my eyes as I entered.

"You and Nott?" Malfoy demanded instantly. I looked around, finding him sitting in a chair. What, was he waiting to interrogate me? Was he spying on me? I ignored him, walking swiftly over to my room and going inside, slamming it shut.

The porcupine twitched, looking at me accusingly. "Why are you so cute?" I asked it, just as accusingly. It flopped down over the bed covers, letting out a strange sigh. I snickered, changing into pajamas and lying down, thinking about trying to introduce Lucas to the porcupine. I missed sleeping with a live kitty pillow.

•••

"So, what's going on between you and Nott?" Rae asked over our most recent DADA essay.

"What do you mean?" I asked slowly, glancing at her. She had long since tossed her quill aside, deciding that my life was much more important.

"Well, you're nearly inseparable for one. This is the first time it's just been us for days!"

"Sorry," I smiled slightly.

"Yeah, yeah, you're forgiven. I want details!"

I shrugged. "Nothing really to tell. We're having fun, that's it."

"What kind of fun?" Rae wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. I reached across the table to smack her, rolling my eyes.

"Nothing like that!" It was true, we weren't going all the way or anything. Just the (not so) occasional make out sessions when we didn't want to do homework. Which was quite often. We just talked a lot too. It was nice, easy. I didn't have to try around Theodore.

"Come on Alex, tell me stuff! Are you guys...dating? Friends with incomplete benefits?"

"I don't know!" I exclaimed, probably a little too loudly. "We haven't talked about it," I signed, closing my textbook. "Anyway, what's going on with you and my brother?"

Rae smiled, somewhat sheepishly. "We've hung out after classes and stuff. He took me for a walk around the lake, which is the only thing that's been close to a real date. Hogsmeade weekend is coming up, I'm hoping he'll ask me. Are you going with Nott?"

"He hasn't asked me," I shrugged.

"Alex! You're being unbearably nonchalant about this! It's the same thing as during forth year, for the Yule Ball. You had _Theodore Nott_ – which has forever been a whispered phenomenon of a name since he asked you in front of everyone – as your date, and I had to all but force you to go! What's wrong with you? He's one of the school's hottest, and you're acting like he's no big deal," she stopped talking abruptly, as if just realizing that she was ranting.

"My relationship with Theodore is none of your business," I snapped, lurching from my seat. "Stop trying to change that," I stormed off, leaving Rae looking shocked and hurt. I felt slightly guilty, but I ignored that. I knew she'd done nothing to deserve my outburst, but I ignored that too.

"Alex?"

I whirled around somewhat violently, stumbling slightly. "Oh. Hey Theo," I let my head fall into my hands for a moment before raking my fingers through my hair. I returned my gaze to him, waiting for him to reach me.

"Are you alright?" he asked slowly, looking me over closely.

"Uh, yea, fine," I shook my head, sighing heavily. "Nothing important."

"Are you sure?" he looked concerned as he absently fixed strands of hair that I'd apparently misplaced.

"Completely. What's up?"

"I had a meeting with Snape. He's mad, no big surprise. I'm apparently a disgrace to Slytherin because I'm not caught up yet. But really, I was absent for nearly a month! And it's not like all my current homework is going to stop until I finish the old stuff," he grimaced.

"I've offered to help you," I laughed, taking his hand and starting down the next flight of stairs.

"It'll be obvious if I copy off you. You're all...smart."

"Thank you for sacrificing your intelligence status for me. I appreciate it," I snickered. "Come on Nott, Blaise has copied me for years, Rae isn't exactly innocent, I've been paid for my homework by a countless number of desperate students. You don't think I can help you without making it sound original?"

"Alright then!" he laughed. "Tonight, library, we're going to power through a months worth of homework."

"Ugh, not the library, please," I shook my head. "It has people and Madame Pince. I think she's starting to rethink my status as a favorite student of hers."

"Why?"

"I'm a noisy and rambunctious teenager. Why else? Let's do it in my common room. The only other person there is Malfoy. Plus, I think he's trying to avoid Lucas, therefore he'll stay away," I laughed.

"Oh, I'm getting invited to the all magical Slytherin Prefect's common room? You must like me," he grinned, kissing me once. "See you tonight. I have to go talk myself out of detentions. It's an art," he shrugged before turning down a corridor. I rolled my eyes, continuing down and heading towards the locker rooms.

Yay for alternating Wednesday Quiddich practices!

Stupid ferret boy.

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**And, we're at the end of chapter 5! This is so exciting, I love how far I'm getting in this fic...and I'm still going strong with my inspiration level! Which means chapter 6 will be coming to you all SOON! I'm hesitantly going for a Monday, Wednesday, Friday update schedule, but if I fall behind I don't want to feel like TOO much of a terrible person...**

**Anyway, what do you think about Alexa and Theodore? They've got _quite_ an interesting past...I'm not sure whether to put flashbacks of them in earlier years in later on, so can I ask you guys? Would you be interested in reading them? Anyway, _loads_ of interesting things in store for these two, especially when Draco gets involved! Le gasp! Drama! You'll just have to wait and find out!**

**Until next time, my wonderful readers :)**


	6. Warnings Without Reasonings

**Longest chapter yet! This is so exciting! **

**I know I said Monday, but you guys are just TOO AWESOME to leave without chapter 6 for one more minute! Though, maybe some of you won't read this till Monday...eh, what do I know? Time is relative and all that crap... :) Anyway, I want to have a HUGE shout out to my reviewers, your letters of encouragement in my inbox seriously brighten every moment of my day. I can't express how much I love every single review notification in my inbox!**

**Okay, one more thing to note before we continue with the story. I've realized that I haven't said anything, and I just wanted to tell you guys - I am completely at fault for all editing mistakes in these chapters. Nobody reads these beforehand, I just write, reread everything a billion times until it gets jumbled in my head, and then post it for your wonderful eyes! So, I just want to apologize for any whoopsies I make while writing that I don't catch...**

**Anyway, ENOUGH TALK! You've come for the chapter! Enjoy, my wonderful readers! ****:)**

* * *

"Alright, write this as your topic sentence. 'Despite some wizarding belief, the Duplicating Charm has no effect whatsoever on the object copied, merely producing a highly realistic copy of the original article that has no overall value'." I said slowly, watching Theodore write on his page.

"I can't write that, I'd never come up with it myself," he protested after looking over the sentence.

"That's the point of copying Theo," I laughed. "Just keep it, trust me. Alright. Here's a copy of my essay, and the textbook. See, there's a list of page numbers that have important points and information, so use that to work through the essay. Then I underlined major points in my essay and the important facts. I'll help you write an outline if you want, but all that should be enough that you probably don't need one. What?" I leaned back in my chair, frowning as he stared at me.

"You're amazing. Why haven't I always done homework with you?" he finally groaned, pulling the textbook towards him.

I grinned. "You can just say I'm saving your ass Nott, that's okay too," I patted his head. "Now write that in your own way, then give it to me. I'll make sure it doesn't sound to much like mine."

"So what, you're going to sit there and observe my struggles?" he asked, starting to write anyway.

"No," I scoffed. "I've picked a topic for you for the free-response History of Magic essay, you're comparing and contrasting the Giant Wars and Vampire Wars. I'm pretty sure nobody did that."

"I wasn't aware there was enough information to compare and contrast at the _same time_," Theodore mocked vaguely.

"Well, you are now. I'm going to outline major points on each for you, then you have to write them into an essay. I'm also giving you an already written Herbology essay to hand in, because I wrote two and never chucked the first one."

He looked up, gaping at me. "You wrote _two_ essays?"

"Yea. I changed my mind after finishing the first one. It seemed like a shit angle. So, I wrote a better one."

"Ah, so you're giving me the shit essay?"

"It's not a bad essay! I just didn't like the way it was written. Personal opinions, Sprout will take it without complaint. I promise."

"Ravenclaw," he sneered jokingly under his breath.

"No way buddy, I'm Slytherin all the way. You're forever in my debt for this, I hope you know that."

"Good, make him look after that goddamn porcupine for awhile. It'll save a few lives," Malfoy suggested loudly as he entered through the tapestry.

"Don't you feel stupid, reciting that password to the tapestry?" I ignored his angered tone.

"No Zabini, it makes me think of you, and the wonderful arguments we have together," Malfoy derided scathingly. "Of course! It's a bloody ridiculous password!"

"We should change it to Abracadabra," I suggested distantly. I reached towards Lucas, who was sulking around the room. He clambered up onto my lap, whimpering in an obviously pleading way. "No, you'll kill the poor porcupine. I have to introduce you guys slowly. I just need a cage for one of you."

"Let the stupid porcupine wander the common room, and put the cat in your room. It may solve a lot of problems," Malfoy grumbled.

"How do I know you won't take the porcupine and return it to McGonagall to rat me out or something?"

"You don't," he smirked. "Though if I was going to rat you out, I could've done it without the porcupine as evidence."

He had a point. Damn it. I hate it when he's right. I groaned loudly, crossing the room and edging carefully into my bedroom. The porcupine was running around in circles on the middle of the room. I grinned, and it squeaked loudly when it saw me, scurrying over and balancing itself on it's hind legs to rest it's front paws on my knees. I patted its head, crossing the room and pulling on a thick sweatshirt before bending down to pick up the porcupine, who had ran after me. Hugging him to my chest, I threw open the bedroom door.

"Lucas! You're free to roam!" I shouted. Seconds after the words left my mouth, the fat blob of fur went zooming through my legs and into the room. I snickered, closing the door as I left.

"That...is the biggest porcupine I've ever seen," Theodore declared, glancing around from his homework. Malfoy had decided to slump down in one of the armchairs, watching Theodore write sentences on Duplicating Charms.

"And the most adorable," I finished, crossing the room. The porcupine was squeaking excitedly, thrilled at having new space.

"You're just as mean to Lucas as I am," Malfoy muttered, watching the closed door of my room.

"That's the first time you've _ever_ called Lucas by name," I stopped, staring at him.

Malfoy shrugged. "That's his name, isn't it? Speaking of which, your _lack_ of a name for this porcupine is starting to get annoying."

"What should I name him?"

"Spike."

I squeaked along with the porcupine in indignation. Though I think the porcupine wasn't indignant. I think he just wanted me to put him down. "No way! That's what you name an angry dog with a spiked collar or something. Why would you name a porcupine 'Spike'?"

"Uh, need I point out the obvious?" Malfoy asked dryly, gesturing to the animal in my arms. In reply, I continued walking towards him, plopping the porcupine in his lap. "Hell!" Malfoy jumped, leaning away from the sniffing nose that was trying to bury itself under his hands. "These things are poisonous!"

"No they're not, didn't you listen to McGonagall? He won't hurt you," I rolled my eyes, returning to my own armchair. "If you don't want him there, pick him up and put him on the ground. Don't throw him. Don't just stand up either, cause he'll claw you and then _I'll_ have to calm him down."

Malfoy just sat, looking very uneasy as the porcupine explored his lap. "I think this thing is horny," he finally muttered, watching as the porcupine tried to bury it's nose between his legs.

"I think you're thinking much to highly of yourself," I replied vaguely, handing Theodore more notes on his next essay.

"Zabini, come get this bloody animal off my lap," Malfoy suddenly exploded. The porcupine squeaked once in surprise that his lap-chair was making so much noise, but settled for sticking his head in Malfoy's elbow.

"Call me Alexa, and say please," I replied, throwing my legs over one arm of my chair and resting my head on the other arm.

"_What_?"

"You heard me. It won't kill you to ask nicely every once and awhile. Or, you could be a big boy and actually pick up the porcupine." I tossed an open textbook to Theodore. "Add this stuff to the bottom, it's important for the next section. It'll show your vast understanding for the subject," I rolled my eyes, shrugging against the chair.

"_Zabini,_" Malfoy hissed. I didn't reply, just shooting him a brief glance. "Fine. _Please_ find it in yourself to get this bloody animal off of me. Now," he demanded. I just looked at him again, raising my eyebrows and twiddling my thumbs absently. "Alexa," he seethed, through obviously gritted teeth.

I jumped up cheerfully, skipping over to him. "Sure thing! All you had to do was ask!" I exclaimed, picking up the porcupine and returning to my own chair. I set him on my stomach, letting him wander around and squeak happily.

"Nott, you're copying wrong. You're not supposed to follow her exact essay pattern. Switch the topics around a bit," Malfoy abruptly corrected, leaning forward to read what Theodore was writing. I looked over, reading along Theodore's newly written essay before nodding. Pulling my wand out of my pocket, I waved it over the paper. Paragraphs rearranged themselves neatly and ink smudges disappeared.

"There. A beautiful essay, all your own!" I clapped, causing the porcupine to jump around slightly in excitement. "Only six more to go, plus an object which has been beautifully Transfigured into a wonderful spectrum of colors, a diagram of the interior of a self-fertilizing shrub, and a Potions' hypothesis for antidote ingredients. We'll be done by midnight!"

"Oh, yay," Theodore mumbled, quite unenthusiastically.

"Hey. Show spirit! You get to shock Snape with your ability to complete homework, and everyone is going to sit back and wonder how you did it. Well, probably not, but you'll get detention threats taken away!" I shot him a double thumbs up, to which Theodore just rolled his eyes. Meanwhile, the porcupine was shuffling around in attempts to get off my chair and down to the floor. I set him down, just to have him instantly scurry back towards Malfoy and start running around over his feet.

"Mother of- ugh," Malfoy groaned, watching the animal with a mixture of hatred and shock. "It's bad enough that I have to live in close proximity to...that," he gestured vaguely towards me, _"with_ her insane animal obsession. Now..._this,_" he glared down at the porcupine accusingly.

"Be happy Malfoy, at least _someone_ likes you," I smirked. The scene was actually quite cute, though I'd never admit such a thing aloud. I was barely admitting it to myself. But really, it wasn't something seen everyday. I had to appreciate it. There was the porcupine, looked far to happy for it's own good, trying it's damned best to achieve Malfoy's attention. Then there was Malfoy, who looked like a bomb was planted under his chair.

"I'd rather Lucas then this thing," he countered.

"No you wouldn't. Lucas can jump on your lap, and he's quite insistent. The porcupine won't jump and he's far too nice to climb up your leg."

"He's biting my shoe," Malfoy muttered.

"Everyone needs the love of a porcupine!" I sang, leaning further back into the cushions of the chair.

It wasn't until that moment that I realized how weird this whole situation was. For one, I was assisting a record breaking amount of cheating – as a Prefect. Secondly, I was having a strangely light argument with Malfoy. About a porcupine. I wouldn't even call this an argument. More like...banter?

Then, there's the massive elephant in the room that seems to just be unimportant. Our little group. Theodore – who I may or may not be kinda sorta dating – and Malfoy, who I may or may not have some semblance of feelings for. That aren't burning hatred.

Even though I don't.

Suddenly, I was all to eager to get this night over with.

•••

The following morning, I yanked Rae out of breakfast and marched her to a mostly deserted corridor. "Bloody hell woman, what's got a tight grip on your panties?" Rae muttered as she followed me, finishing off a piece of toast she'd managed to grab during my frenzied capture.

"I didn't sleep at all last night," I replied gruffly, looking around for unwanted ears. It was true, even after Theodore left after finishing all of the impossible load of homework. I had lain in bed all night, tossing, turning, and trying to calm my brain down.

Rae, being classically Rae, took that in all the wrong ways. "What were you _doing?_" she sang, swaying back and forth while batting her eyelashes.

"Nothing that you're thinking of," I snapped. She raised her eyebrows in a way that said she didn't believe me for a moment. In an undertone, I explained to her the whole situation of the previous night. Her expression got steadily more serious, until she was standing there with a frown on her face and her mouth slightly open. "Well?" I demanded after a few minutes of her silence.

"You have feelings for Draco Malfoy?" she finally blurted.

I stared at her. "That's all you got from that?"

"What else was I supposed to get? That's a pretty big thing Alex, you've hated the guy all your life. Though, you're going to hate me for this, may I say that I freaking _told you so_?" she was rolling her eyes and grinning slightly now. I smacked her across the arm.

"No! This is _bad_. And it's unacceptable. I don't have feelings for him, because I can't. End of story."

"Whatever," Rae shrugged. "For the best really, he's a real piece of work," she grimaced.

"Agreed," I breathed out a huge sigh. "Free period next, want to go eat more breakfast?"

Rae gave me an indignant look. "Of course. Since my original attempt at eating got disturbed by a whirlwind that I'm forced to call my friend."

"Your _best_ friend! Don't forget it!" I exclaimed loudly.

I spent the rest of the morning exhorting my brain with Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. I recovered by sleeping through History of Magic, and ended up pretending to work in double Charms while actually talking to Rae.

"How mad do you think Malfoy would be if I pretended to faint right now so I could skive off practice?" I asked dully, flicking my wand half-heartedly through the air. No birds appeared.

"Is that a rhetorical question?" Rae muttered. I shrugged, glancing over to the blonde in question. He was glaring at me, for reasons that I couldn't fathom. Maybe he was actually in hearing distance. Probably not. He'd been pissed all day, at me in particular. Not that such a fact should be considered news, but it did seem a little strange. I sneered at him, causing his eyes to narrow further and his grip to tighten noticeably on his wand.

"It's not like it would be a big deal. We've practiced as if we'll all get killed if we lose a game. I can afford to skip one-"

"You've already skipped one," Rae reminded me pointedly. "And you felt really guilty about it afterwards."

I grimaced. She was right. "You and your logic need to shut up and conjure a stupid bird," I muttered irritably.

Rae snorted. "On a happier note, it's almost Halloween!" she exclaimed cheerfully, waving her wand a little too exuberantly. A heap of feathers exploded out of her wand with an impressive _bang_, succeeding in landing all over my head.

"And I'll be dressing up as a pillow fight," I grumbled, shaking my head and sending a massive collection of yellow feathers floating to the ground.

"Oh Alex, I'm sorry!" Rae cried, but started laughing all the same. "It's a good look for you!" she defended as I glared. I flicked my wand towards myself, vanishing all the feathers. "But anyway, Halloween!" Rae continued. "Do you have a costume yet?"

"No," I shrugged. "Why would I?"

"Uh, the Halloween dance! You're _going._ Even if I have to drag you," she pointed at me threateningly.

"I don't have a costume," I repeated, smirking.

"Well you better get your ass in gear and find one!"

Flitwick saved me from replying by arriving in front of us. "Alright ladies, enough talking! Let's try the spell!"

"Yes sir," Rae mumbled. She waved her wand, and a loud explosion of tweeting filled the air. I covered my ears dramatically, while Rae looked horrified. Flitwick just looked disapproving, and the sound eventually faded off.

"Yes..." Flitwick muttered. "Miss Zabini?"

"Okay," I waved my own wand, and an instant cloud of smoke engulfed Flitwick's head. When it cleared, a very _empty_ bird nest sat there. "Well...you need a nest before you conjure up the birds!" I claimed, shrugging. Rae was giggling silently, and starting hacking to cover up actual laughs when the few birds Hermione Granger had managed to conjure landed in the nest.

Oh good, extra practice homework for us.

Exiting the Charms class, Rae suddenly hurried off. I suspected it was because she was stalking Blaise again, but I really didn't want to go find out. I walked along the hallway alone, therefore unprepared for the hand that suddenly grabbed me and dragged me into an empty corridor. I was cornered against a wall, looking into the face of Harry Potter.

"Well, if it isn't the Boy Who Won't Fucking Die," I monotoned, acting like I barely noticed that I was captured against a wall. "How the hell are ya?"

"Very funny," he snapped. "I'm pissed, actually."

"Boo hoo," I rolled my eyes. "Why are your bitchy mood swings _my_ problem?"

"Because your Quiddich captain has taken up all the practice slots," he growled.

"Except for Sundays, Mondays and every other Wednesdays," I recited dully. "Practice in the mornings then."

"Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff have them too," Potter huffed.

"Not my problem. You have issues with Malfoy, take them up with him yourself. Don't whine to me," I made to walk away, but he grabbed my arms and held me fast against the wall. "Potter, you have five seconds to let me go, or I'm going to turn you into a big pile of cat food, which I will gladly let my cat eat," I said the words slowly, without any danger of him mishearing me. His mouth opened, ready to keep ranting.

"Potter. Care to explain why you're manhandling my Quidditch team?" a voice came cooly from a few feet down the hall. I glanced around to see that Malfoy had joined our little gathering. Goodness, we were going to have a pow wow soon enough. Potter looked at him for a minute before his hands dropped from my arms. I felt the rising urge to hex him anyway, but he left without another word.

"Wimp," I muttered, not really talking to Malfoy, but just saying so.

"You alright?" Malfoy asked, somewhat indifferently, though with an emotion I couldn't read. Acceptance maybe? That didn't really made sense. Wasn't he supposed to be all mad at me?

"Course I'm alright. For future reference, I can handle myself, especially with slugs like Potter," I snapped, feeling the need to get my frustration out, and he was conveniently there. Malfoy stared at me.

"A simple thanks is a good response too," he said evenly.

"For what? Go ask Potter for a thank you, if it means that much to you. You saved him from being hexed into a puddle. Which is very heroic of you, really. I sense a romance in the air," I rolled my eyes before walking away down the hall.

"Why do you hate me so much?" Malfoy unexpectedly went after me, getting in front of me and blocking my path back to the populated area of the school.

"You're annoying. Why do you care? You hate me too," I stated the words as a downright fact, and was more shocked then I should've been to see him shake his head.

"I definitely don't hate you," he stated firmly, looking intensely down at me. Merlin, he was tall. I had always thought of myself as decently tall, but he was obviously taller, verging on over six feet. Okay, where did that come from? Why am I noticing, much less caring about the height of Draco Malfoy?

"Whatever," I muttered, succeeding in actually making my way around him and walking off, leaving him standing there. Or at least I assumed he was still standing there. I didn't look back to check.

•••

Quidditch was exhausting. More so then usual, as a result of Malfoy's renewed foul mood translating into how hard he decided to make practice.

"Goddamn it Zabini, can't you keep your broom _straight_?" he bellowed over the wind, which had picked up somewhat in the hour since we started.

"Maybe your head is just crooked!" I screamed back, hurling the Quaffle into a goal hoop before whipping around to glare at him. "And in case you hadn't noticed, it's _windy_ out here. So shut your face and release the Snitch or something. Maybe that'll give you something _productive_ to do!"

Yes, I was wound a little too tightly.

No surprises, Malfoy ignored my suggestion. Instead, he sped across the pitch so he was right in front of me. Rage radiated off of him, so I pretended to lounge on the broom, kicking one foot up and resting it on the handle of the broom.

"I am the captain of this team, therefore it is _my_ job to train the rest of you to have some sort of competence. If you can't take this seriously, we're going to have a problem. We can't very well win any matches with you floating sporadically around the pitch," he seethed, getting as close to me as he could while we were both floating in the air.

I ignored the direct insults, registering that he was just being dramatic in his inexplicable fury towards me. "Well, we can't very well win any matches if you can't catch the Snitch either. Unless you'd like me to go yell obnoxiously while _you_ avoid Crabbe and Goyle's horrible aimed Bludgers and try and get the Quaffle into a goal."

Malfoy glowered at me for a minute before calling over his shoulder. "Getzinger! Take point Chaser for awhile, let Zabini climb down from her high throne of ego."

"Oh sorry Malfoy, I guess you'll be wanting that throne back," I smiled with mock sweetness. "Don't worry, I'm sure there's enough room up here for both of us!"

His eyes narrowed dangerously, and he beckoned to Rae. She flew over, mouth tightly closed and a somewhat nervous expression on her face. "Take point," Malfoy growled at her. She nodded. He flew off again and I removed my leg from the broom handle, replacing it back on the crossbar.

"This is going to go well," Rae grumbled, looking genuinely nervous. I gave a loud burst of laughter, following her towards the center of the pitch and taking the spot on her left side. Sterling joined us, shooting me a slightly sympathetic look and an eye roll. I smiled, diligently backing up Rae as she put on the offensive down towards the goals that Flint was guarding.

A very confusing hour followed. We would get down to the goals, have the shot, and I would suddenly end up with the Quaffle. I'd score the goal, leading Malfoy into rants on how I was supposed to let the point Chaser do so. Sterling and Rae found it hilarious, but kept handing the ball off to me. At one point, Rae and I just passed the ball back and forth next to a goal for a good fifteen minutes before Malfoy blew his whistle furiously.

"Well, that's what you get for screwing us up like that!" Rae defended wildly, landing next to our fuming captain. I snorted, leaping off the broom when it was still a few feet from the ground, falling through the air and landing on Malfoy's other side.

"Get changed and go to dinner," was his only reply. I made to follow Rae, but Malfoy grabbed my arm. "Not you," he held me back as everyone else hurried to the locker room.

"What the hell? Cruel and unusual punishment! Practice ends at six, it is now six, I don't have to be here! You can't just-" I was cut off by a mouthful of material. It was the jacket that he had taken off, now stuffed into my mouth to shut me up. I spat and choked, finally yanking it away and throwing it at him. "That's disgusting!" I yelled, backing away from him a few paces. He draped the jacket over his left arm before crossing his arms defiantly over his otherwise t-shirt covered chest. "What?" I finally spat, as he seemed to have no intentions of speaking.

"Stop seeing Nott," he said coldly, still unmoving.

That was a totally unexpected statement. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Why?" I demanded, mirroring his crossed arms stance.

"I can't tell you."

"Oh, that's just a _fine and dandy_ reason! Let me just skip off and do exactly what you say!"

"You should," he insisted, ignoring my sarcasm. I scrutinized him. He did indeed, look unnaturally serious. "You'll find out eventually, but it would be easier if you broke it off with him now," his expression didn't so much as flicker.

"Are you jealous?" I smirked.

Apparently Malfoy didn't find it so funny, because he was suddenly grabbing ahold of the front of my practice shirt. He shook me, hard. I had to dig my toes into the ground to stop myself from falling over. "Does everything have to be a fucking joke to you? Can you be serious for one second and be a normal human girl that would be _intimidated_ by this? I'm giving you a real warning here Zabini, and it would be good if you took to to heart."

"Real warnings have reason behind them," I tried to push him away, but he stepped that much closer. Our foreheads nearly touched.

"This has reason," he assured me. I felt his breath across my face. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. It definitely wasn't a bad feeling. "I just can't tell you." I had the absurd notion of head-butting him. It passed slowly as I grabbed his wrist, trying to get free of his hold on my shirt. He didn't so much as budge. "Tell me you got this into that thick head of yours," he demanded while I struggled.

"Got what?" I asked, feigning dumb. He gave me a look. "Yea, yea, stay away from Nott. Even though you can't tell me why, but it's cause you're actually dying with jealousy inside and want to confess undying love for me right now. I get it, _I_ _get it_! Let go of me."

He did, though with an expression that plainly said it was against his better judgement. "You're going to regret not listening to me," he muttered.

"Next time you want to give someone a creepy warning and have them _listen_, don't shove a sweaty jacket in their mouth as a conversation opener," I whirled around and ran off towards the castle.

I should've gone and done something a little more rational.

Such as...I don't know...take a shower, change clothes, ponder Draco Malfoy's stupidity in the solitude of my room, pick a fight with a teacher, set Peeves off in the Great Hall, find a can of red paint and start writing Chamber of Secrets messages on the wall.

_Anything_ would've been a little more rational then what I actually did.

I exploded into the Great Hall, practice clothes on, Firebolt clutched in hand, hair in some wind blown mess around my face. I marched right over to Theodore Nott and yanked him from the Slytherin table, dragging him out and to the closest empty classroom.

"Everyone is going to think you're some sex starved maniac that _had_ to come to me for assistance," Theodore said lightly, lounging against a desk.

"If you spread that rumor yourself, your life will take a drastic turn for the horrible," I informed him. He raised his eyebrows. "Why does Draco Malfoy want me to stay away from you?"

"I'm prettier then he is?"

"I'm serious Nott. This has something to do with you being gone, doesn't it? You can't tell me where you were, and he can't tell me why I should stay away from you. What the hell happened?"

"Alexa, seriously. Calm down," he had stood up straight again, now taller then me. He looked genuinely confused at my frantic questioning. "Why are you so stressed? It's just Draco."

I wasn't sure why I found his words funny, but I started laughing. It was a somewhat shaky laugh, but it was somewhat uncontrollable giggles all the same. "Yea," I mumbled as he hugged me tightly.

"So, can I go eat now? Or were you going to act on that whole sex starved maniac image you're putting out?"

I smacked him across the chest, flipping my broom around and resting it on my shoulder. "Go away," I stuck my tongue out at him before turning and leaving the classroom, heading for the dungeons to actually shower and change.

About an hour later, I was heading back down to the Great Hall for some food. It had mostly cleared out, but the whole Slytherin Quiddich team was still there, as were a few chatting second and third years. Theodore had apparently decided to wait for me, probably out of some strange lack of other stuff to do.

"So, are you going to start making it a habit of forcefully dragging one of us out of the Great Hall?" Rae asked through a mouthful of cauliflower. "Or do you just enjoy making spectacular scenes?"

"Sod off," I mumbled, plopping down in the empty spot next to Theodore. I grabbed food off the closest platter, which happened to be chicken. I paused before eating any of it, turning towards my kind of boyfriend. "Sorry I pretty much attacked you while covered in disgusting grime and smelling awful," I muttered, earning myself snickers from both Rae and Sterling.

Theodore shrugged, smirking sideways at me. "Nah. It was pretty hot actually."

"Bastard," I mumbled, starting to eat as much chicken as I possibly could. Vaguely, I registered the fact that Malfoy was glaring at me from across the table. I pointedly ignored such a fact, pretending to focus instead on Rae's rant about Halloween costumes.

In reality, I was wondering why Harry Potter was lurking outside the Great Hall, attempting to kill the back of Malfoy's head with a death glare.

* * *

**YEAH! Chapter 6 is over! This is so great, I'm so into this fan fiction and I'm LOVING writing it. Chapter 7 will be coming soon!**

**So, one more thing. I was writing that authors note above, and it got me thinking. I've never had a beta before, nor do I know anything that that really entails...so, I just thought I'd ask: anyone out there who would want to message with me about this story? I don't really know how that would go, I'm just reaching blindly...it would be awesome to have someone to discuss with, maybe bounce ideas off of and talk about my ideas for plots and stuff? One of my biggest fears is getting something mixed up or ruined, I read my stuff so many times over because I want it to be as perfect as possible for you guys. So...anyone out there who might actually want to be subject to my insane mind? Just wondering...**

**Okay, I'm done rambling. Until chapter 7!**

**Love you all :)**


	7. Being Pureblood

**As promised, Wednesday update! Sorry for the lateness of the day! I even have an excuse! Granted, it's not a very good one... ****I woke up late, (yay :D gotta love summer...), then I had to go drink delicious coffee and satisfy my inner child with the comics in the newspaper. Yes, I'm cool. Don't deny it.**

**Anyway, I'm LOVING the response I'm getting from this, I'm so glad you all love this so much! I want to send a HUGE shout out to Nicky-Maree, who's already given me amazing advice and has continuously inspired me to open my half finished chapter document and keep writing! Millions of thanks to you, darling :D**

**Oh yeah, and I've stopped putting disclaimers on the past couple chapters...whoopsie...you guys get it though, right? I don't own Harry Potter :( I own all the OC characters though! Cause my imagination just threw Alexa into my head, and my fingers just had to type away!**

**Read on, readers!**

* * *

Two o' clock the following Tuesday found me predictably buried in the back of the library, surrounded by Ancient Rune and Arithmancy textbooks. I was attempting to get as much work done as possible before I had to drag myself away for Quidditch practice.

"I'm doomed. Doomed, doomed, doomed, all because of stupid Draco Malfoy. Stupid pompous ferret, stupid practice, stupid schedules, stupid everything. What the _hell_ does this mean?" I leaned back in my chair, staring at the Runes on my paper.

"Laguz means 'water'," a voice spoke quietly from in front of me, and I glanced up to find Hermione Granger sitting across from me. She looked quite awkward as she did so, but determined all the same.

"I know. It should just mean _water_ though, and not have some deep philosophical meaning about life's energy and mysterious fantasies. And why the hell is it paired with Othala?" I grumbled. "Ugh, never mind. Also, please tell me you overlooked the fact that I'm talking to myself like a lunatic?"

Hermione smiled slightly, setting her bag down carefully on the desk. "I wanted to talk to you," she began quietly.

I set my quill down, stretching my arms over my head. In truth, I was glad for the excuse to stop for a minute. "Okay. Shoot."

"It's just that, well, I can't help but notice how much you cram homework for Runes and Arithmancy. It's understandable, don't get me wrong. I get your whole Quidditch thing," she shrugged, but I noticed that she seemed slightly flippant towards the sport.

"So?"

"Well, I thought if we started working together, you'd get your homework done faster, I'd get a study partner, and we'd both get intelligent company out of the deal," she listed, very quickly.

"What, Potty and Weasel aren't doing it for you in the intellectual department?" I snorted, watching her eyes narrow.

She looked ready to argue with me, but eventually shrugged again. "If you don't want to work together, that's fine. I just thought I'd offer," she stood up, making to walk away from the table.

"Wait!" I called her back at the last second. God knows I needed someone who was actually in these classes. "I have no idea what this Arithmancy stuff is telling me," I reached across the table, moving aside a textbook and unearthing a half written analysis.

Hermione beamed, returning to her seat. "Here, let's restart. Write your name..."

•••

"MERLIN!" I suddenly shrieked, making Hermione jump nearly a foot in the air. "You mean that number doesn't relate to any of the others?"

"Exactly," Hermione grinned.

I did a silent cheer, starting to dance around the table. "Hermione! This is more clear then it's been since term started! I _get_ it!"

She started laughing, writing down more numbers on the piece of scratch paper we were using. I continued dancing, leaping as silently as I could through the air. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be practicing at four?" she suddenly asked.

"Uh, yea. Why?" I paused, mid dance. She pointed to a clock. 4:01. "_Shit,_" I hissed loudly, causing the pointed nose of Madame Pince to start peering around the corner. "Ah, Malfoy is gonna kill me," I hopped on the spot, starting to shove my random belongings back into my bag. "Which is a legitimate statement, cause he's PMSing or _something_ cause even my brother is having fits about him. Damn, damn, damn. Curse Draco Malfoy and his curse worthy tendencies."

Hermione was openly laughing at me now. "Leave your stuff," she finally waved a hand in my direction. "I'll watch over it, come find me after practice and I'll give it to you."

"Oh my gosh, really?" I froze, staring at her.

"Sure. Go, I would hate to think of you suffering at the hands of Malfoy because of a heavy bag."

"I suffer at the hands of Malfoy every day. I sleep in a room connected to his," I sighed. "I owe you, big time Hermione. _Thank you._"

She waved me away again, a small smile still on her face. I turned and sprinted off, charging through the castle and changing into practice clothes at lightening speed before bursting out onto the pitch. Luckily, everyone was still discussing on the ground.

"Zabini. Late. Again," Malfoy turned to me, face stoic.

"Yeah well. On the bright side, I'm not going to fail Arithmancy!" I continued my celebratory dance moves.

It was Sterling who snorted loudly. "Which of course, gives you the right to scar us with your impressive dancing skills," he supplied.

"Yes. Yes it does," I stuck my nose in the air defiantly. When they all just stared at me, I waved my arms around in the air. "Well? Are we going to practice or not? Jeez guys, you're so slow," I jumped on my broom, taking off and zooming towards the middle of the field.

"Do you do this on purpose?" Rae asked, flying up beside me.

"Do what?"

"Annoy Malfoy as much as you possibly can. Are you trying to get him to physically combust?"

"Do you think he would?" I asked, emphasizing eagerness.

She sighed heavily. "I'm going to try and tell you something, and I don't want you to reply. Just promise me that you'll think about it logically. Without overreacting and without just ignoring the observation."

"Well, you've just eliminated everything that makes up most of my reactions, but go ahead," I smirked, but internally frowned. Why was she suddenly so serious?

"You're late to almost every practice. You skive off Prefect duties. You yell at Malfoy every chance you get and you take every possible opportunity to do exactly what he doesn't want you to do."

"It's not like I'm the only one at fault-" I started to exclaim, but Rae gave me a look to shut me up.

"I said that you don't need to reply. I'm not saying that it's completely your fault. That's not the point. The _point_ is, don't you wonder why he doesn't make your life a living hell?"

"Oh, so what I suffer because of him now is just meaningless fun?"

"He could make your life so much worse, and you know it. Stop trying to argue with me. Just think. Why does he let you get away with it?"

With that little nugget of confusing insight, she flew out of talking range. I glared after her, about to start continuing the conversation in yells. At the last moment, I realized that wasn't the _best_ idea, considering that our topic of conversation was mere yards away. I glowered into thin air, trying to just forget what she'd said. Despite myself, I couldn't stop analyzing the words. Were they legitimate comments? Or just Rae being her overreactive self?

Oh _why_ couldn't I still be thinking about Arithmancy?

•••

After practice and a shower, I changed back into normal clothes and went on a hunt for Hermione. After searching the library, Great Hall, and even some empty classrooms, I finally came to the conclusion that I was going to have to brave the Gryffindor common room.

This was going to go over well.

The decision found me wandering to the seventh floor, stopping awkwardly in front of a portrait featuring a slightly horrifying woman. She glared down at me, sniffing once. "Yes?" she asked with disinterest.

"Uh, yeah. Hi! I'm looking for Hermione," I tried to be friendly, but I could feel the grimace on my face. Nice going Alexa. Probably wasn't the best idea to wear a shirt bearing a huge Slytherin crest either. They call you intelligent. Ha. "Er- Granger," I finished after a pause, once the woman showed no signs of replying.

"Yes, I know who you're talking about," she rolled her eyes dramatically. "I'm not just going to let a _Slytherin_ in here."

"Can you at least tell me if she's in there?"

"She is."

I felt my face scrunch up in irritation. "Well, can you help me out or something? Can't you let someone know I'm out here?"

"I probably could. Give me a good reason," she said snottily.

"Um. I really really _really_ need to get in there?"

"Which is my problem because?"

"You love helping poor students in need?" I suggested, shrugging. Come on, it was a last ditch effort. Can't blame me for trying, right?

She opened her mouth to reply, her face obviously showing disgust, but her picture suddenly swung forward. I jumped back a couple steps, watching as a passage was revealed and a head of bushy brown hair came towards me. "Alexa? Oh, that is you! I thought I heard something out here!" Hermione smiled, halfway out of the portrait hole that was apparently led to Gryffindor common room. "I'm glad you're here!"

"I looked for you in the Great Hall and stuff," I said lamely. I had never been so happy to see a Gryffindor.

"Oh yea, I waited for you for awhile, but just decided to come back here. Come inside!" she retreated back, beckoning to me.

"I probably shouldn't..." I trailed off, scratching the back of my head slowly.

"Oh, don't be silly. We're not as mean as Slytherins are."

"I resent that," I muttered, but climbed inside anyway. It was as if I was wearing a green and silver beacon. Which, given my shirt, I probably was. Almost all faces instantly turned towards me. I waved sheepishly, giving them all a smile. "Hey there Gryffindors. Good evening? Yeah, mine too," I ended the words in an undertone. Hermione rolled her eyes, taking my arm and pulling me towards the merrily crackling fireplace.

"Why are you inviting Slytherins into our common room?" the guy that I merely knew as 'Weasley' shot at Hermione, glaring openly at me.

"That's not very nice Ron," she accused. _That's his name?_ "Meet Alexa. She's really nice," she pushed me into an armchair. I sat on the very edge of the seat, feeling both Weasley and Potter's eyes staring at me.

"Hey Alexa," it was surprisingly Harry that broke the uncomfortable silence, giving me a small smile. "Welcome to Gryffindor common room," he held out a hand. I shook it, smiling slightly. Weasley grunted out a greeting, giving me a half wave.

"Thanks," I found a reply, a few seconds to late.

Hermione sighed audibly, pushing my book bag towards me. "Here. I organized your Arithmancy stuff again, it was kind of a mess. It's all in the front of your textbook," she gestured vaguely into the bag. I sighed in relief, grinning as I peeked into the newly organized book bag.

"I guess I owe you again," I laughed slightly. "Thanks Hermione."

"You don't owe me," she waved her hand, and I watched her face flush slightly.

"Yes she does," _what's his name? Damn, I'm forgetful._ Oh yeah – _Ron_ suddenly supplied, anger touching his voice minimally as he glared at my knees.

"_Ronald_," Hermione scolded, shooting him a glare. "You really don't," she assured me.

"Yes she does," Ron repeated. "If she says she does, she means it," he failed at explaining. Hermione looked ready to tell him off, but I stopped her.

"I do, actually," I nodded, giving Ron an acknowledging gesture. He inclined his head, but otherwise remained quiet. "Pureblood law. Promises and debt are taken really seriously. Failing to fulfill an obligation when it is owed is a serious crime. Punishable by death, in some cases."

"So...if I asked you for a return favor and you said no, you might get killed?" Hermione asked slowly. Ron snorted. I grinned as well, entertained by how the wheels in her head turned.

"Well, I suppose that's one way to look at it. Very simply. There would be massive amounts of trials, I'd get throughly questioned by all families affected. My brother would testify on my behalf, even if he didn't want to. Since you're muggle-born and have no family connected to wizarding status, we'd all have to sit through a hearing run by Lucius Malfoy. Which I really don't want to be subjected to, so consider me at your beck and call. But to answer your question, if they found me guilty then yes, I would be killed," I shrugged.

"That's awful!" Hermione wailed, her hands over her mouth.

"Not really. It's just the law," I started picking at my sleeve, feeling somewhat uncomfortable after spewing all that to them.

Ron shot me a look, his expression mildly understanding. Of course, he _would_ be the one to actually understand this, considering he is a pureblood and all. "It's okay Hermione, calm down," he said quietly. I felt a strange rush of gratitude.

"What, are you just barging in here to scare my house mates?" a gentle voice came from behind me, and Sailor rested his arms across the back of the armchair. "Hey Lexi," he grinned down at me.

"Twit," I scoffed, but smirked at him anyway. "You're the family disappointment. Stupid Gryffindor."

"Yea, well, I hate the color green. Probably the reason the Sorting Hat placed me here," he shrugged. "Anyway, I'm a pretty bad house member, I barely know you guys. Well, I know Harry from Quidditch and everything, but that's honestly beside the point. It _does_ make sense, I mean, I'm three years younger then you guys," he was talking to the obviously baffled Harry, Ron, and Hermione now.

"You're really obnoxious, you know that?" I shot up at my brother. "This is Sailor Zabini, a tragedy for all pureblood families and my brother who tries to act older then he is," I informed the others.

"Hey! I should get to introduce myself to my own house!" Sailor wailed in mock tragedy. "Hi! I'm Sailor Zabini, the brother everyone _wishes_ they have and currently unappreciated by the folk I'm forced into relations with. Nice to actually and _officially _meet you!"

"You think I don't appreciate you?"

"Your twin thinks I'm a communist."

"Your _brother_ enjoys being able to taunt a third year without them screaming and running away. I can't believe you remember that comment either," I shook my head, barely remembering the conversation from the train.

"Super duper memory, remember?" Sailor giggled at his own hilarity. It was true, Sailor had an absurdly accurate and impressive photographic memory. I rolled my eyes, reaching my arm up to flick him in the forehead. "Hey!"

Hermione was watching us with extreme interest. "Does Sailor live by these pureblood rules too?" she asked, obviously intrigued. Ron sighed heavily, slumping further in his chair. Harry looked back and forth between the two. I wondered if this actually interested him in any way. "Shut up Ronald, I think this is all very fascinating," she shot at the redhead, turning back towards me.

"_Technically_...yea, I guess," I looked up at Sailor, who shrugged. "Though Blaise wouldn't be required to bear witness on his behalf, since Sailor is our half-brother. I'm not allowed, I'm a girl. In extreme situations, it would probably be Draco who would defend Sailor," I concluded, still feeling strange in explaining this all to them.

"Why is it the Malfoy family who deals with these hypothetical 'extremes'?" Harry suddenly questioned. I guess he was interested.

"They're the most powerful pureblood wizarding family in Europe. Probably the world," Ron stated before I could. "They're obligated."

"I would still have to sit through a trial, even though Malfoy Senior thinks I'm a devil spawn," Sailor put in, walking around my chair to sit on the floor beside it. "Like, if we're talking about Lexi's hypothetical law breaking crime again. I'd have to attend. I'm not allowed to give input or anything, because she's my half-sister. It's because I'm immediate family."

"Would you have to go?" Hermione rounded on Ron, who was now slumped impossibly far in his chair.

He shook his head simply. "Not unless my family was directly involved. We've personally and publicly stated ourselves as blood traitors," he shrugged, as if this was no big deal.

"In other words, I owe you," I finally made the full circle, looking at Hermione.

She sighed, shaking her head in disbelief. "Okay. So, was Malfoy really mad at you?" she thankfully changed the subject, crossing her legs.

"Malfoy is always really mad at me," I scoffed. Sailor grunted, obviously ready to make some sort of comment. He remained quiet though. I glared at his head before shrugging. "Nothing I'm not used to."

Suddenly, a loud and very violent explosion echoed from outside. Everyone sitting around jumped, a few people actually leaping up out of their seats. "ALEXA ZABINI. GET OUT HERE," a furious yell echoed through the room, coming from somewhere outside.

"Good Merlin, he's got a sensor in his brain or something. He _knows_ when people are talking about him," I groaned. Sailor started laughing, falling sideways to roll around in the floor. I kicked his leg, standing up and picking up my bag. Sailor picked himself off the floor and ran ahead of me, throwing open the portrait hole and climbing out into the hallway.

"Hey Drake!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

To this day, Sailor remains the _only_ person who can use that nickname without the wrath of Draco Malfoy following soon afterwards.

I followed my brother, pulling faces to imitate Sailor's non-stop talking. Malfoy pulled a half smile, ruffling Sailor's hair. "Hey kid. Keeping the Gryffindorks in check for us?"

"That's mean Drake," Sailor accused, crossing his arms. Malfoy smirked, turning to me as I continued to pull outrageously horrid faces.

"Careful Zabini, your face might stick like that," he taunted warningly.

"Maybe that's a good thing. Yours won't be lonely anymore," it wasn't the best retort I'd ever come up with, but it made him scowl none the less. "See? Now we match."

"Come on," he grabbed my arm, proceeding to begin dragging me down the hall.

"Hey!" I resisted, leaning way backwards and making him stumble. "You can't just barge up here and drag me off! What's going on?"

"I'm not about to tell you with nosy Gryffindors gawking at us," he sneered, looking over my shoulder. I looked around, finding Hermione, Harry, and Ron to have followed me. They were indeed, staring openly at the argument.

"What if I don't want to go with you?" I demanded. Malfoy replied by yanking my arm again. I pulled back, sitting down on the stone floor. He ended up dragging me for a moment before stopping, staring down at me.

"Real mature," he jeered, a sick leer winding onto his face. "I _will_ drag you the whole way Zabini. The stairs are going to be an extremely uncomfortable experience for you."

"I'll yell and scream until someone helps me," I replied simply, trying to kick him. Malfoy dropped my arm, running his hands over his face in exasperation.

"Fine. This is a Slytherin house requirement, and you're being summoned by I, Draco Malfoy."

Damn. I groaned loudly and obnoxiously, standing up again. "At least make yourself useful," I heaved my bag in his direction, which he caught with a barely audible grunt.

"What are you keeping in this?" he grouched. He tossed the bag over his shoulder anyway, surprising me slightly. I was sure he would've either dropped it on the ground or threw it back. He must have noticed my surprise, because he sighed. "I wasn't raised by werewolves Zabini, I possess decent gentleman qualities," he claimed.

In the background, Ron snorted loudly. "_Ronald_," Hermione scolded, quietly enough that I barely heard her.

"Something funny Weasel?" Malfoy shot over my head, glaring back towards the entrance to the Gryffindor common room.

"No," I replied for him, shoving Malfoy's chest. "Come on, I thought this was urgent," I continued pushing him towards the stairs. He barely reacted to my efforts, walking backwards slowly. "Turn around, resist the urge to be a prat for once in your life," I cajoled, grabbing his shoulders and forcing him to turn. I waved once back towards our four onlookers before we made it to the stairs.

"Pushy all of a sudden, aren't you? I'll be sure to tell Nott that you jumped at the first chance to manhandle me," he stated, starting to walk correctly.

"Yes, we all know you secretly want me, no need to bring Nott into the situation. Just admit it freely," I patted his arm. We were finally walking normally now. "Now, why did you feel the need to drag me out of there?" I asked, once we were down a few floors. He didn't reply. I waited. We eventually made it to the dungeons, though he still hadn't said anything. "Malfoy!" I finally cried, yanking him back. "What the hell?"

He opened his mouth, closed it again, and frowned. After repeating that cycle a couple times, he finally smirked. "No reason. I wanted to annoy you," he was grinning at me now, in a way that I could only describe as malicious cheekiness.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy!" I hollered, advancing on him. He snickered, backing away a couple steps. "You mean that you put forth a Slytherin attendance obligation for _no reason_? You can't do that!"

"I'm a Malfoy, I can do whatever I want," he retorted snobbishly. "You really don't need to start on middle names."

"Oh, this is a 'middle name' situation," I claimed loudly, continuing to advance on him.

"Okay then, Alexandra Rachele Zabini," he replied simply, rolling his eyes. I stopped dead, for some reason unable to continue after the use of my full name.

"You are _so_ dead," I threatened.

"Well, I have your bag, so you better be nice if you ever want it back," he shrugged, pulling on the strap that was over his shoulder for emphasis.

"Stupid little-" I launched myself at him, trying to shove him over. He caught me instead, and we ended up falling together onto the ground, wresting the whole time. I vaguely realized that we were rolling across the floor, grappling as if lives were at stake. Finally, he got my arm in an inescapable grip, flipping me onto my back and pinning me there.

"Did you honestly think you had a chance?" he asked smugly, keeping me trapped beneath him while I struggled.

"Let...me...up!" I cried, trying once more to roll him off me. Malfoy only laughed in en evil sort of way, tightening his grip. I groaned, going limp against the floor. We stayed in that position for a good few minutes, catching our breath.

Holy. Effing. Shit.

I was pinned under Draco Malfoy.

This situation suddenly got much more uncomfortable.

I started fidgeting, looking anywhere but directly at him. He was strangely close to me, close enough that I could feel his breathing on my face. I could feel most other parts of him as well, considering we were pressed together in the awkwardest of ways. I felt every contracting muscle in his stomach, as my own hand was making a weak attempt at pushing him away. I felt every facet and indent of his arm as he held up his own weight, considering my _other_ hand was resting there. I wasn't sure why.

"Um, Malfoy?"

"What?"

He sounded so maddeningly at ease, I could barely stand it. My brain scrambled even further. "Get off," I demanded quietly.

"Why?"

No reasons popped to mind. Damn teenage hormones. Why can't they just die? "Please," I replied instead, meeting his gaze. His eyes were the color of a hurricane. Thankfully, mercifully, he pushed himself up. I was left lying awkwardly on the floor. I wanted to crawl away and hide, considering that he was still staring intensely at me. Wordlessly, he held out a hand. I looked at it nervously, to which he scoffed. I took it and allowed him to pull me to my feet. Malfoy turned, picking up my bag from where it was abandoned on the ground.

"Common room?" he suggested simply, gesturing in that direction.

"Yeah."

We walked together and in silence. Malfoy told our tapestry the ridiculous password, and we entered. The porcupine was ecstatic to see us, jumping all around both our legs. He'd continued to take a greater liking to Malfoy, who only seemed to resist it more. It was turning into a vicious cycle.

"Look-" he started as we stood there.

"Not a word," I stopped him. He blinked and smirked once, swinging my bag off his shoulder and tucking it securely over mine instead. He said nothing else, and I shuffled my feet around for a minute before hurrying off to the safely of my own bedroom.

* * *

**Oooh, that was fun :) who loves awkward moments with Draco Malfoy when they're nearly going out with Theodore Nott? We all do, don't we? Don't deny it :) And friends with the Golden Trio? Kinda? WOAH! Thoughts? :)**

**Until next time...mua ha ha...**


	8. The Naming of the Porcupine

**It's Friday! Lo and behold, chapter 8, just for you! This is a fun chapter, now _stuff_ starts happening! Mysteries, tension, drama, yay! I hope you're all excited, I know I am :) **

**So, fun news, I'm thinking that you're all going to get the next chapter on SUNDAY rather then MONDAY...I'm going on a boating trip at the end of the weekend, so I won't be around on Monday to update...it all depends on when I leave on Sunday...would you guys like an earlier chapter?**

**I think I'm gonna try and stop putting long, rambling authors notes on my chapters...so I'll stop talking now. Read on, enjoy!**

* * *

It wasn't until after classes finished the following day that I was able to spill all the occurrences of the previous evening to Rae. She listened intently as I talked, both of us lying under a tree in the otherwise reasonably unpopulated grounds. For being the middle of October, the day had been strangely pleasant. I was sure it wouldn't last long.

As I finished, Rae sighed heavily, appearing to mull over my words again. "What?" I demanded once she started grinning.

"Come on Alex, aren't you going to admit that you like the boy yet?" she asked, stretching her arms above her head as she lay on her back in the grass.

"Rae!"

"What?" her voice was just as shrill as mine had been, obviously mocking me.

"Draco Malfoy is a repulsive ball of slime," I stated loudly.

"Don't you mean, a _sexy_ repulsive ball of slime?" she asked innocently.

"No!"

"Alex," she tilted her head, giving that look the plainly said: 'you're not fooling anyone'.

I sighed loudly, flopping against the grass. "Fine. He's unbearably hot, in ways that I cannot describe. That doesn't make him any less awful. Anyway, I'm officially dating Theo now, so it doesn't matter anyway."

"Whoa. Officially? Hello Miss I'm-Nonchalant-about-Theodore-Nott. Care to explain?" Rae rolled onto her side to look at me intently.

"Did you purposefully make that rhyme?" I mumbled, rolling my eyes. "Yeah, he asked me this morning," I grinned.

Rae started clapping loudly, scaring a flock of birds that were in the tree we were lying under. "Finally! Now I can pester you and try to live my own love life through you and Theodore," Rae claimed happily, looking at me with a pleased expression on her face. I scoffed, keeping my eyes skyward. Clouds were rolling in again, threatening rain. And there I was, thinking only about how the incoming storm matched the color of Malfoy's eyes.

•••

About a week later, I was sitting in the common room. Malfoy was sitting with me, because this was 'his common room too', and 'we were just going to have to deal with each other's presence'. We'd had this argument very early on in fifth year, when we first became Prefects. He sat in his armchair, I sat in mine. The table between us was neutral ground. We were both doing homework, I was dully writing a History of Magic essay. It was so boring and mindless that my mind quickly wandered.

"Pokey."

"Come again?" Malfoy looked up from his textbook, eyes slightly glazed. I guessed he hadn't actually been reading anything he had been looking at.

"Pokey," I repeated, watching the porcupine bounce around the small table that separated our armchairs. "That's what we're naming the porcupine."

"One, there will be no 'we' tacked onto this animal. Two, you are _not_ naming this thing Pokey!"

"Why not?" I smiled widely. "It's better then Spike!"

"Is not," Malfoy scoffed loudly.

"Is too! We can call him a Pokeypine!"

Malfoy stared at me for a grand total of forty seconds before his head fell into his hands. "Merlin help us," he grumbled. "I refuse to call it Pokey."

"Pokey is a 'him', not an 'it'," I corrected, crossing my arms.

"You are not naming this animal Pokey!" he repeated himself, much louder then before. Pokey looked up in a moment of surprise, but went right back to spinning around in circles.

"Pokey the Pokeypine," I sang, just as loudly. Pokey squeaked in reply, swaying slightly to the sing-song tone.

"Oh no, it's going to think that is its real name," Malfoy groaned.

"That is his real name! Pokey! Come here!" I called.

"Spike!" Malfoy called at the same time, leaning down to pat near the bottom of his chair.

"Pokey!"

"Spike!"

Obediently, Pokey bounced over to me. I snickered at Malfoy, smoothing down the quills and scratching the Pokeypine affectionately.

"It knows your voice better," Malfoy claimed stubbornly.

"He stalks you during every moment you're in the common room," I pointed out simply. "Call him Pokey," I gestured vaguely.

"No!"

"Do it!"

Malfoy grimaced, this was obviously against his better judgement. "Pokey?" he called hesitantly. Pokey instantly left me, scurrying over to Malfoy.

"Ha!" I exclaimed loudly.

"Call it Spike," Malfoy commanded grudgingly.

Well, I guess I should've expected that. "If I call him that and he doesn't come, will you accept that his name is Pokey?" I demanded. Malfoy grimaced, an expression that I took as an affirmative. "Okay then. Spike! Come here!" I called. Pokey glanced at me once, wondering what on earth I was trying to accomplish. He then turned back to Malfoy, looking agitated at the lack of attention he was receiving.

"Not funny," Malfoy muttered, scowling as I fell out of my chair from laughter. I managed to nod – signaling that it was indeed, hilarious. I continued rolling around on the floor, laughing until I was having issues with breathing. Pokey was quite entertained, having abandoned Malfoy to bounce around near my head.

"Your...name...isn't..._Spike_," I choked through my limited breath, rolling over on my stomach to look at Pokey. I swear, the Pokeypine was grinning stupidly as well. "Right?" I widened my eyes at him. Pokey replied by hiccuping violently, making me jump as his face was right in front of mine.

"Do you have mental problems?" Malfoy asked under his breath. It wasn't hard to hear him. I looked up in order to make a face at him, but paused after taking in his expression.

"You look like someone just stabbed you," I commented easily, resting my elbows on the ground and setting my chin in my palms. It was true, he looked somewhat pained. He also looked shocked, and maybe a little confused. All the symptoms of a surprise attack with a knife. "Maybe it's because of this conversation. I could calculate the possibility, through it might take awhile."

"What?" he looked taken aback.

"I've been thinking about Arithmancy for too long," I concluded, rubbing my eyes. It was true, I'd been working on number charts for nearly four hours. "They're Gematria charts," I explained, gesturing to the papers scattered across the table. "Words calculate into certain numbers. The theory is finding relations in the numbers in order to find corresponding numerical patterns of conversations."

"Why in the _world_ would you want to do that?"

"It's like predicting the future," I shrugged. "Although much less tiresome and ridiculous then Divination," I rolled my eyes in exasperation of the dropped subject. "I'm pretty sure the words 'porcupine' and 'surprised' end up in the same number group. Maybe that explains your expression," I mused, rolling over onto my back and kicking my feet up into the air.

"Maybe you need to stop doing homework," Malfoy replied, scoffing.

"You know, this is the first civil conversation we've had in months."

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm just not in the mood to argue with you today," he waved my comment off, but his expression betrayed slight discomfort at the topic.

"Oh, so our arguments depend only on if _you_ feel like having them?" I challenged, only for the sake of irritating him.

"You had to bring up an argument Zabini. Honestly, am I that awful a conversationalist?"

I shrugged against the floor.. "Your social number is a nine, so I suppose you shouldn't be," I mumbled, closing my eyes and waving my feet back and forth.

"How do you know that?"

"I used your name to calculate it in third year," I opened my eyes again, raising my shoulders up and tilting my head backwards in order to see him. He raised an eyebrow, to which I only smiled, rolling sideways to curl up into a ball facing him. "You know, I honestly have no idea how the Gryffindors can stand that common room. It's awful. All bright and full of warm colors. It's blinding," I looked around our common room, enjoying the dark greens and glints of pale silver.

"Try Sailor's bedroom at your house," Malfoy scoffed. "I shudder to think what the Gryffindor common room is like compared to _that_. At least I'm a loyal Slytherin and have never stepped foot into another house's common room," he jibed, looking at me accusingly.

"I needed my bag. I tried to refuse, but I got roped inside," I defended. It was true, not that I'd honestly resisted very strongly.

"That is a very unconvincing argument," Malfoy shook his head. I shrugged, making my arms into a pillow and resting my head against them. I closed my eyes, truthfully quite comfortable. Curled up on the floor on a nice dark rug, right in front of the fireplace. I was actually considering dozing off when Malfoy coughed once. "So...November is the first Hogsmeade weekend," he commented with forced coolness.

I cracked one eye open, looking up at him. "Pleasant conversation?"

"Are you going with anyone?"

I continued watching him with the one eye before closing it again, tucking my head more comfortably against my arms. "Not officially, no. That's still a month away. Why? Jealous?"

"It's just a question Zabini," he sighed.

"Really? If I'd replied that I was going with Nott, what would you have said?"

"Are you?"

"No."

"Will you?"

"If he asks me."

"Good to know," he said calmly. I snuck a glance at him, finding his attention to have returned to the essay he was supposed to be starting. I closed my eyes, rolling them under the eyelids.

_Boys_.

•••

Breakfast the following morning was one of the more boring ones. I sat at the Slytherin table, both my legs draped over one of Theodore's. I was still half asleep, therefore leaning on his shoulder and trying to keep my eyes open. I was holding a fork, and occasionally tried to steal Theodore's food. He blocked my attempt every time, telling me to get my own food. I knew he was just doing it so I would stay awake and occupied until classes started.

As it was breakfast, mail was delivered about halfway through. Owls flew all over the breakfast tables, and I watched little explosions of food come from various spots through the hall, due to the more clumsy owls. Returning to my task of trying to swipe hash browns from Theodore's plate, I didn't notice what Blaise was looking at until he elbowed me in the back.

"Ow! What?" I jumped, turning and glaring at him. He pointed up, directing my attention back to the owls. Flying towards us was a huge short eared owl, darkly speckled and with huge orange colored eyes. "Calandra?" I asked, watching the bird fly closer and closer to where we were sitting. "She never delivers letters."

"Unless they're important," Blaise corrected, clearing a spot for the large owl. Calandra landed between us gracefully, dropping a letter into Blaise's outstretched hand. I offered her some food, to which Calandra just looked at me disapprovingly before taking off again.

"Stuck up bitch," I mumbled, turning to my brother instead. "What is it?"

Blaise tossed the letter at me, shrugging. "Can't open it yet," he was frowning. On the envelope, a boldly written message was printed.

_**To:**_

_**Blaise, Alexandra, and Sailor**_

_**Zabini**_

_**To be opened **_**as soon as possible****_ – _together_ and in _private**

"What, does she think we read our mail aloud to the Great Hall?" I snorted. "Let's just open it," I turned the envelope over.

"What are you, thick?" Blaise growled, ripping the message from my hands. "Go get Sailor."

I grinned at him, disentangling myself from Theodore and jumping up. Blaise was too much fun to mess with. I wasn't going to actually open it, considering that most of the Slytherin table had tuned into our conversation. I blame Calandra, she's pretty hard to miss. I crossed the hall to the Gryffindor table, trying to scan it inconspicuously for my brother. I got glares anyway, which I blatantly ignored.

"Hey! Alexa!" I looked down the table, seeing Hermione waving at me. I wandered down towards her, glad for an excuse not to stand there stupidly.

"Hi. Sorry for interrupting. You haven't- Hey! You're sitting with my brother! That's a relief," I grinned at Sailor, who was raising an eyebrow at me.

"Shocked?" Sailor asked, eating scrambled eggs. "I'm cool enough to sit with Sixth Years."

"Yeah, you're cool enough to be related to them as well. Come on, your 'cool' presence is needed," I beckoned him away.

"I'm eating," he mumbled unnecessarily, as his mouth was full of food.

"I can see that. Vividly. I don't care, you have to come with me," I was somewhat aware of Hermione and Harry listening intently to this conversation, having abandoned food to listen. Ron was still eating away, but he was probably listening too.

"This seriously can't wait? Go back to your boyfriend," Sailor looked exasperated. I opened my mouth to retaliate, but was cut off by a new voice right behind me.

"Goddamn it Sailor, let's _go_," Blaise snarled. Hermione squeaked, obviously not expecting the appearance or the harsh tone. She looked up at Blaise, who smirked wickedly at her. "Hey Granger. You could always come sit with the older and finer male of this family. Believe me, I'm much better company then Sailor," he winked at her suggestively.

"You're a disgusting pervert, and nowhere near a 'finer' male," I elbowed him hard in the stomach. "Stop terrorizing people. Sailor, please?"

"Alright, alright," Sailor pushed his food away, standing up. "Bye guys. When Dennis comes, will you tell him that I had to go, and that I'll see him in Care of Magical Creatures?" he asked quickly.

"Sure," Harry nodded, speaking when Hermione still looked unable to form words clearly. Blaise snickered, heading off without waiting any longer.

"Git," Sailor mumbled, looking after our brother scathingly. I laughed, hurrying out of the Great Hall. Blaise was wandering around the first corridor, looking for an unlocked and empty classroom.

"These teachers are getting more and more intelligent," Blaise huffed, trying the last door to no avail.

"What's going on?" Sailor asked, crossing his arms and looking completely naïve as he looked at us both. Blaise handed him the letter. Sailor read the front, his eyes growing large and full of curiosity. "Come on, I have an idea," he declared, running off towards the stairs. Blaise and I shared a look before running after him. Sailor may have been a Third Year, but the kid was _fast_. The students standing around in the halls leaped aside for us, looking surprised and somewhat nervous. Who could blame them? We Slytherins were scary enough by ourselves, but while we're chasing a Gryffindor, people seem to stay out of our way. It's actually really handy.

"The...seventh...floor?" I gasped, once Sailor skidded to a halt in front of a wall. "You...dragged us to the freaking...seventh floor just to stare at a wall?"

"Yup!" Sailor said happily, appearing unfazed by the run. I groaned, collapsing onto the floor next to Blaise, who had sat down the minute Sailor stopped. I leaned against his shoulder, pushing hair out of my face. "There, still think it's a wall?" Sailor said smugly after a minute. I looked up, finding that the wall was replaced by a huge door.

"What the- Sailor!" Blaise leaped up, sending me falling sideways. "Oh, sorry Lex," he didn't actually sound all that sorry, big surprise. I rolled my eyes, making faces behind his back as I stood up.

"What is this?" I asked, once I was upright and staring at the newly formed door.

Sailor looked quite pleased with himself. "It's the Room of Requirement," he stated proudly. Blaise and I just looked at him. Sailor rolled his eyes. "It's a room that barely anyone knows about. You ask it for a room, and it creates whatever you need! It only appears when someone really needs it, so it's really hard to come here twice without already knowing what it does."

"So...how do you know about it?" Blaise asked, frowning.

"Uh-" Sailor shuffled around, averting his gaze. "Remember that illegal gathering of students last year to learn defensive magic? That Harry started? Well, meetings were here."

"You were part of that?" Blaise exploded, advancing on Sailor.

"A couple times, yea," Sailor stood his ground, but had to look way up into Blaise's face.

"Calm down," I pulled Blaise away. "So what? It's not like he ran the thing. It's not like he got caught. Let's go," I gestured to the room. Sailor smiled in gratitude before turning and opening the door. As we went inside, my mouth dropped. It was unbelievable. It was like a little reading room, with three comfy looking armchairs sitting around a table. The walls were draped in neutral tapestries. The color scheme favored neither house, but an outlined snake and an outlined lion were strategically placed on opposing tapestries.

"You practiced defensive magic in here?" Blaise asked doubtfully.

"Well, no. It looked a lot different. I asked the wall for a place to read the letter without anyone finding us. So, it's bound to be a different room then the one we needed for practicing magic," Sailor took a seat in the dark armchair that was embroidered delicately with gold. Blaise and I were left to the two chairs with silver.

"Okay," Blaise shrugged off the room, turning to the more important matter of the letter still in his hand. "What do you suppose?"

"We don't really need to suppose, do we?" I rolled my eyes, crossing my legs in the armchair. "Let's just open it."

Sailor nodded quickly. Blaise ripped open the envelope, unfolding the parchment inside and flattening it out over the table. We all leaned forward to read it.

_My darling children,_

_I do hope you're alone, and if you're not, I beg of you not to continue. I had to send Calandra, I trust no other owl to get this to you safely and without interception. _

_The wizarding world is changing, and we must change with it. Your existence at Hogwarts must be used now to further our world towards what it is destined to become. I'm sure you will understand soon. It is because of these new times that I must summon all three of you to return home these Christmas holidays. I understand that it is normally your choice, but this year is the one that I must insist. _

_Blaise and Alexandra, it is your time to prove yourselves. You are old enough to pick your actions now, and the Dark Lord has told me personally that he looks forward to what you will accomplish for his cause. I have great faith that you will not fail him or our family. You are both resourceful and I have no qualms about your choices or where your loyalties lie._

_Sailor my sweetheart, you are still young. Although you've taken some misleading steps in your life, your chance will come to prove yourself again. That time is not now, even though I know you wish that it were. You must help your siblings now, that is your task. _

_I must remind you to trust the members of Slytherin house. I do mean all three of you, Sailor, please do not let alternate influences change your opinions. Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott are to be trusted in particular, as they will be the ones to join you in this new era. _

_My wonderful children. I miss you all so dearly, and I hope with all my heart that you stay out of harms way, no matter how close danger seems to come. The three of you must remain strong. For me, for our family, and for the future that you're helping create. Please stay spirited, as I know you do so well. I shall see you all soon._

_Mum_

"What the hell was that?" Blaise demanded instantly, throwing himself backwards into the armchair.

"She sounds so sad," Sailor mumbled, leaning back in a considerably less angry fashion.

I took the letter off the table, turning it completely towards me in order to read it again. "She's not sad," I scoffed. "She's a lunatic. It's scripted," I concluded. "She keeps talking about 'shaping our future' and that 'our times have come'. Also, she's never that _nice._ It's an attempt a groveling, she _needs_ us to come back. Someone helped her write this," I turned the letter over, as if this would make everything clear. It didn't, I was just met by the blank side of the parchment, slightly blotted by the ink bleeds.

"Who?" Sailor asked, looking absolutely shocked at the idea.

"Narcissa," I hadn't really meant to speak aloud. I wasn't even sure why I knew. For some reason, it was obvious. "I mean, who else?"

"That is true," Blaise agreed, still looking murderous. "They talk enough. There's an ulterior motive here."

"So..." I trailed off, making hand gestures for him to continue.

"We keep doing what we're doing, I guess," Blaise shrugged. "Just keep a lookout. Lex, I know you won't listen, but maybe you _should_ try and find a common ground with Draco-"

"Don't go there," I cut him off, folding up the letter. "That doesn't involve you. We should go, we're probably late to class-" it was a statement only to get out of this conversation. I didn't even have class this morning. Blaise knew it, and he gave me a strange look.

"We're definitely late for class," Sailor commented, not noticing our silent exchange as he looked at an old clock across the room. It definitely hadn't been there moments before. "We really shouldn't wander around the halls, Filch might catch us-"

"Screw that," I scoffed, standing up. "I'm not staying in this room during my own free period. Come on, you can't get detention if I'm with you. Sailor's common room is on this floor anyway." We walked to the portrait of the disturbing woman, who glared disapprovingly as Sailor waved us away, refusing to utter the password in front of us.

"Really though, what do you think?" Blaise asked as we headed together back towards the dungeons.

"About?"

"Don't be thick Lex, about the letter. What do you think she meant by the whole 'Dark Lord' and 'accomplishing for his cause' stuff?"

"I don't know Blaise," I sighed with exasperation. "And I really don't want to think about it until absolutely necessary," we had paused after the entrance to the dungeons, standing in the deserted and slightly drafty corridor. "We really shouldn't keep the letter though," I pulled the paper out of my pocket, setting it on the ground between us.

"_Incendio_,_" _Blaise whispered, directing his own wand at the parchment. It burst into flame and we silently watched it burn into ash.

"_What_ are you two doing?" a threatening sounding voice came from further down the hall. Blaise and I whipped around, finding Snape to be walking towards us. His face was suspicious as he eyed the pile of ash at our feet.

"Nothing," Blaise replied lamely. Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Could I say 'magic based fire sacrifices' and have it be a legitimate reason?" I blurted, trying to kick the pile aside inconspicuously.

"Maybe, but you apparently have no recollection of the fact that you're a witch," Snape sighed, flicking his own wand at the pile. It vanished, leaving only spots of soot over the bottom of my robes.

I shuffled my feet, feeling rather stupid. "Well sir, I had a free period this morning. This one-" I jerked my thumb towards Blaise, "-has been insisting that I get a move on picking our Christmas presents for our mum. She's got real high expectations, you know? Anyway, he's been a real nuisance about the whole thing, so I thought I'd annoy him by asking him for help."

I had no idea where that came from. It was a really lame story, but it seemed somewhat believable. Snape looked straight at me, seeming to see right through my lie. "This..._opinion..._couldn't have waited until after class?" he asked quietly.

"No sir, that's the point of being obnoxious," I replied instantly. I could almost feel Blaise's eye roll, but I ignored him.

Snape finally seemed to take a breath, looking back and forth between us. "Very well. I'll merely suggest that you keep your sibling rivalry outside the classroom from now on. Also, since you've apparently disregarded the timing of this little endeavor, I should remind you that your second class starts in five minutes," with that, he strode past us and out of sight.

Well. That went well. I exchanged a quick look with Blaise, who widened his eyes and shrugged. We parted ways there. I walked quickly to my next class, hoping that I could just forget the morning and go back to thinking about my new relationship with Theodore and whether or not I _actually_ fancied Malfoy. What wonderfully simple worries.

* * *

**Well. That was strange, wasn't it? Any thoughts to what the letter means? And civil conversations with Malfoy? What is the world coming to? Pretty please, review? :) **

**Possible chapter, coming to you Sunday! Just to torture you a bit, chapter 9 is honestly a very high favorite of mine...**

**Until then!**


	9. Late Night Meetings and a Tub of Salve

**Hey all :) As promised, Sunday update! No Monday update in store, sorry :( I'll be happily boating and sleeping in a warm comfy sleeping bag :) Sounds nice, no? Still, I'm sorry that you all won't be getting a Monday update :( Wednesday, I promise! I really want to thank all my readers, you guys are _awesome_, and I'll never be able to say that enough...honestly, I can't even begin to tell you how thankful I am that you guys have stayed with this story, and that you love it so much.**

**Anyway, like I said, this might be my favorite chapter, or at least it's very, _very_ close to the number one spot. So, I won't keep you waiting any longer! Read on!**

* * *

Speaking of Theodore Nott, I hadn't properly seen him since we officially started dating. That happened days ago. Breakfast had been the first time we'd actually been together for awhile. He would wink at me in the corridor every now and then, but our paths never seemed to actually cross. Which was strange, considering that I had classes with him. I guess it was because I always sat with Rae, and that put me in the main group of Slytherins. Theodore never seemed to join that group, no matter how high and mighty his reputation was.

Come to think of it, I wasn't seeing Draco Malfoy regularly either. Sure, I'd see him in the common room and at practice, but he just seemed to disappear from everywhere else. Not that I ever truly looked for him during class. However, there were some classes that he seemed to just conveniently miss. I wasn't sure that he actually ate anymore either, because his absence was more then obvious during meal times. Mostly because of Pansy Parkinson's whining that her 'Drakie' wasn't present.

"Good Merlin, this is absolutely sickening," Rae muttered, staring openly as Parkinson simpered to Millicent Bulstrode and Daphne Greengrass, dabbing her eyes dramatically with a napkin while she wailed about Malfoy's unavailability.

I was nearly falling off the bench from silent giggles.

"...I mean, I understand how busy he is. He couldn't be with me on Monday because of Prefect things he needed to finish," Pansy was explaining seriously. Her girlfriends nodded understandingly, while I started hacking into my food to hide real laughter. "I can't believe that _bitch _became Prefect instead of me," she finished. I felt all three of them glare at me, to which I gave a half wave while stuffing a dinner roll into my mouth in order to quiet my hysterics.

"_Monday_," I gasped quietly, tears streaming down my face from mirth and the inability to swallow a whole dinner roll, no matter how hard I tried.

"What happened on Monday?" Blaise asked curiously.

"He was sleeping in the common room for the whole evening," I whispered, starting to laugh again. "I did homework, then got bored. So, I practiced the Charms spell. I am now a _master_ and scaring people awake with a swarm of little yellow birds," I grinned widely at the two sitting across from me.

"You're horrible," Rae claimed simply, but she started grinning too. As she took another bite of food, her arm brushed my brother's again. They'd been doing this for about a week now, sitting together at meals in order to find excuses to nudge each other. As weird as this was to watch, I couldn't help but find it completely adorable.

"Hey, Alex?" a voice came from behind me. I turned, finding none other then Theodore Nott standing there. He was clutching the strap of his bag as if it would run away if he let go, while his other hand was picking restlessly at his robes. He also looked completely exhausted, complete with horrible dark circles under his eyes and a drastically sunken appearance to his face. "Will you..." he trailed off, but completed the request by holding out his restless hand.

"Um, yeah, of course," I took the hand, waving to Rae and Blaise while allowing Theodore to lead me from the Great Hall. "What's wrong?" I asked quietly, gripping his hand tighter as we walked. We ended up somewhere on the third floor, in an empty classroom (which had apparently become a phenomenon around here).

"Everything isn't turning out right," Theodore sounded upset and uncontrollable as he paced the room, eventually falling into a chair and slamming a fist onto a table. "I can't do it."

"Can't do what?" I was still standing near the middle of the room, truthfully somewhat frightened of him. Theodore looked around at me with a crazed expression, one that I backed away from a couple steps. He was out of the chair again, striding over to me and grabbing my arms.

"I can't tell you, hasn't that been made clear yet?" he snarled, shaking me as if it would help me remember.

"You could tell me some of it," I tried to reason with him, if only to make him loosen his grip. I brought my hands up slowly, working them free of his hold in order to touch his face lightly. It was an attempt to calm him down. "I could help you," I said quietly.

Theodore looked at me, almost appearing to contemplate. Then, he shook his head violently, taking my hands and crushing them in his own. "It's no use, all the mail is being read, there's nothing I can do," he was talking to himself now, his eyes had unfocused and he was fidgeting restlessly.

The mail? What was he doing to the mail? "Not all the mail," I blurted, hoping that the information would help him in some way.

"What?" he broke out of his haze of stress to look at me properly.

"Yeah, Calandra got through without getting intercepted. She brought me, Blaise, and Sailor a letter."

"Are you sure nobody else read it?" his eyes were glowing, and he actually smiled.

"Positive," I nodded. Theodore surprised me by laughing, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me as tightly as he possibly could. Which believe me, is quite a lot.

"Alexa! This is fantastic!" he shouted, pulling back to smile radiantly at me. I tried to smile back, but he was still somewhat frightening in his sudden bipolar tendencies. He didn't notice my lack of genuine smile, because his lips crashed down onto mine. Pleasant butterflies filled my stomach, which always happened with Theodore. I kissed him back, thankful for something familiar.

The kiss turned hotter, and he eventually had me sitting on the edge of a desk. My legs were wrapped around his waist, his hands moving from my hair to underneath my shirt. After some exploration there, he moved his hands to my thighs, stroking there slowly. As one hand slipped further up my leg and finally traveled under my skirt, one of the frantic butterflies in my stomach seemed to bite me. I jumped, pushing on his shoulders to try and get him to back up. He did nothing of the sort, moving closer to me and making me lie back against the table.

"Ah-" I broke away from him, scooting backwards quicker then I thought possible. He looked after me, watching with raised eyebrows as I scrambled away from him across the table.

"Alexa-" he said with obvious forced calm.

"I- uh- sorry," I mumbled, internally cursing myself for apologizing. Why did I have to apologize? Sue me for not wanting to lose my virginity on a wooden table to Theodore Nott.

I did _not_ just think that.

I clapped a hand over my mouth, even though I hadn't actually voiced any of my thoughts. Through my hand, my words were muffled as I tripped over them. "Erm, Prefect stuff. Just remembered. Malfoy is gonna look for me. Uh, later," I whirled around, unable to get out of the classroom fast enough. I didn't look back to see what he was doing, getting out of there as quickly as possible. I sprinted down the stairs, careening down two flights before I slowed down.

I walked to the dungeons from there, not exactly moving quickly, but definitely not meandering along. So I guess I was no better then Draco Malfoy, using Prefect status to get out of situations that would ultimately lead to sex. I justified my own actions to be a little more understandable, considering that I actually possessed human emotions. Anyway, I wasn't a man-whore like Malfoy apparently was. Inside the common room, I sighed in relief as the tapestry closed behind me.

"Zabini," the voice that I _really_ didn't want to hear at that moment drawled from behind me. I screamed, whirling around to face none other then Malfoy himself. Surprise, surprise, he's in his own common room. Duh. He raised an eyebrow. "Well well well. Here we were, thinking that Nott was the only one to know that you could _actually_ emit something that makes you sound relatively like a girl," he was smirking now.

It took me a minute to register the implication. Malfoy was talking me me about sex. Now. At this moment. Does he stalk me in order to think up the perfect conversation that I would _least _want to have at any particular moment? No, of course not. Which means I can't have a different reaction then I would on any other day. "You really can't assume these things, can you Malfoy?" I shot back, cursing myself for letting my voice waver slightly. "It's good to know you think about what it could be like with me when Parkinson shrieks like a banshee. She does that, doesn't she? I bet she's a real screamer," I shrugged, bending down to greet Pokey, who was intent on gaining my attention.

"I'll have you know Zabini, I _have_ never and _would _never sleep with Parkinson," Malfoy sneered.

"Good to know. You just think of me all the time during your frequent shag fests? I'm honored, truly," I pretended to curtsy when I straightened up again.

"You wish," Malfoy puffed out his chest. "I think the real question is, do you think of me while with Nott?"

_Apparently so._

Damn it.

"No," I raised an eyebrow. "Not really thinking well enough to have wandering thoughts, you know?" I sighed suggestively. Needless to say, nobody technically knew about my virgin status. Well, Theodore knew, but he's obviously not keen on keeping it that way. Seeing as he's my boyfriend and all. Rae knew as well, but she's my best friend. Doesn't count.

Malfoy scowled. "We have patrol duty tonight. Snape is insisting that we actually do it, as our Prefect obligations have apparently been lacking," he turned towards his room. "Don't skip out Zabini, or there _will_ be hell to pay." With that, he vanished into his bedroom.

_Well, as least I didn't technically lie to Theodore. _

I groaned, sinking down onto the floor. Pokey sniffed my knees, trying to get me to pay more attention to him. I ran my hand down his quills carefully, trying to calm down. This was going to be a long night.

•••

"Stupid prat," I mumbled to myself, walking alone down a corridor. Malfoy had left me there, claiming to have forgotten something and would be back. That was fifteen minutes ago. I rounded another corner, internally cursing him. He was probably going back to the common room to let me finish this alone. Down near the end of the hallway, I heard hushed voices. I started down there, ready to release my anger to unsuspecting students who were out of bed.

Once I got closer, I paused. I recognized the voices. One of them belonged to my fellow Prefect. The other, to my boyfriend I'd left in a classroom mere hours before. Just the two people that I wanted in the same room. Note the sarcasm. Heavily.

"It cannot be this hard Nott," Malfoy hissed.

"Yeah? You try," Theodore growled back. They were standing in the shadows of a wall, facing each other and glowering visibly.

"Why not? Let's switch jobs, how about that?" Malfoy laughed humorlessly. "You're in and out of this Nott, you're doing this to help _me_. Now get it done."

"Or what, you'll tattle on me?" Theodore scoffed. "Who are you going to tell? Your precious aunt?"

I watched Malfoy bristle in agitation, but he surprisingly kept his cool. "Have you gotten anything accomplished? Anything _at all_?" he demanded, voice obviously mocking.

"I think so," Theodore actually seemed to consider.

"You think so? Oh, that's real encouraging," Malfoy's fists were clenched, the action visible, even in the dark.

"Look, Alexa told me that Calandra got in and out without interception. Nobody read that letter. I don't know if it's because of me. If it's not, I just need to figure out how the bloody bird managed it. Then you're good," Theodore explained simply. I was getting dragged into this now? Oh goodie.

"How thick is that brain of yours?" Malfoy hissed. "Calandra has been _trained_ to slip by interception. Your darling girlfriend probably left out that little detail, didn't she?"

"Not her fault," Theodore mumbled, sounding disappointed. "It's not like I told her."

"I find it shocking that you don't object to the term 'girlfriend'," Malfoy sneered. "It's not like you spend any time together. What, a quick shag when you feel like it?"

"Stay out of it Malfoy," Theodore snarled. I wanted to leap out from my hiding place and break apart their argument, but I doubted that it would be the best move. I just wanted them to stop talking about me in particular.

"Stay away from her then," Malfoy countered. My jaw literally dropped. Sure, him telling me to stay away from Theodore was one thing, but openly telling Theodore to stay away from me? A whole other thing entirely.

"Why? Upset that you lost your chance? You've liked her since Third Year, admit it. You just can't get over that she genuinely hates you," Theodore was leering wickedly. Malfoy, with speed that I wondered how he came to achieve in his unhealthy state, punched the other straight in the jaw. Theodore groaned, holding his face as he fell against the wall. I wondered distantly why there was no retaliation. They appeared to have some form of understanding. I wondered if it was a guy thing.

"Work harder Nott, time isn't unlimited," Malfoy said warningly before walking away. I sprinted in the opposite direction, back down the corridor as quietly as possible. Now at the mouth of the hallway again, I started wandering down it. A couple minutes later, Malfoy returned.

"What'd you forget?" I asked mildly. I wasn't sure what I expected him to come up with, but it definitely wasn't for him to hold up an apple.

"I was hungry. And you're always hungry at two in the morning if you're still awake," he held up a second, tossing it to me. I caught it, twisting it over in my hands slowly. It was strangely thoughtful. Especially when he hadn't actually forgotten anything. Apparently 'forgot' is code for going to have mysterious conversations with people in the middle of the night.

"It's not two in the morning yet," I mumbled, the only thing I could think of saying.

"Close enough, it's a little after one. Save it if you want," he shrugged, biting into his own apple. After a couple minutes, I decided that it was awkward to let him chew in the otherwise silent atmosphere. So I started eating mine as well. He was right, I was getting hungry anyway. For some reason, I hated myself for thinking it was a rather delicious apple.

"You know, this is very counter productive," I mused after a moment. I was skipping slightly as we walked along now, a happy side effect of having just eaten.

"What is?" Malfoy asked quietly. He remained perfectly calm and a little bored looking. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets as he walked an inch or so behind me, due to my quicker skipping.

"This. Patrolling. We're assigned all these late night watches, then they expect us to get up and be our brightest and best tomorrow morning. Do they really believe that we're _that_ on top of things?"

"Probably," I saw him shrug out of the corner of my eye. His reply was mostly a grunt. How unresponsive. Silence fell for awhile. I watched him discretely, seeing his expression to appear miles away from what was going on around him. I wondered if he was thinking about his conversation with Theodore. I wondered if he was thinking about me. Internally, I instantly cursed myself for considering that. Why should I care? He wasn't worth it.

I finally _did_ get fed up with his angry silence. I jumped 180 degrees, landing in front of him and facing him. "Cheer up!" I exclaimed loudly. A couple people from the paintings on the walls hissed at me, but I ignored them. Malfoy just looked at me with a dull expression. "You're acting so depressingly tragic. You'd think that I wasn't making an attempt to be nice to you, and we were just hating each other like normal!"

A flicker passed beneath his eyes. Theodore's words flashed through my head. '_You've liked her since __Third Year...' _I blinked a couple times, banishing the words from mind. Completely unrelated to this moment. Come on Alexa, focus. "You're making an attempt to be nice to me?" he finally asked quietly. He still looked downcast and wretched.

"How else am I going to survive these nights?" I asked, waving the comment off. "Why are you so upset?"

His expression flickered again, but this time it verged on raw anger. "Because I have real things to be upset about Zabini, something that you have no concept of," he growled. We had stopped moving completely now, just having a stare off in the hallway.

"Oh, and who made you the judge of that? Who are you to tell _me_ how real _my_ problems are anyway?" I snapped back.

"Well, as your biggest worry is Nott with his violent emotions that you were not aware of, I can surely rank other problems way above that," he shot back, barely missing a beat.

What. The. Hell. My mouth dropped open, I knew I was gaping stupidly at him. "How did- How did you _know_?" I choked.

Malfoy's sneer turned into a full on smirk. "I didn't. I guessed, you confirmed it," he cocked his head to the side challengingly.

"You..._asshole_," I seethed, advancing on him. At some point, I realized that I'd drawn my wand.

Malfoy just looked bored, regarding me calmly. He hadn't moved. "There's no need to make an attempt to be nice to me Zabini. I've handled your hatred for sixteen years, you don't need to exert the effort now," he held my gaze for another moment before turning around and walking away. I watched him go, sure that I was gaping like an idiot again.

What did _that_ mean?

•••

"Guess what?" I exclaimed to Rae the next morning, striding into Herbology and finding her already picking a seat.

"What!" she asked in reply, matching my ecstatic tone.

"I hate Draco Malfoy!" I let my mocking attitude towards excitement show, glaring around as I crossed the greenhouse towards her.

"Really?" she asked, continuing with the happy facade. "You've never mentioned!" At my look, she rolled her eyes. "What happened?"

"He's being a prick. As usual," I griped.

"And here I thought you were growing some sort of affection for the guy. Guess I was wrong," Rae sighed, shrugging.

"Completely," I agreed, throwing myself in front of one of the set out plants. "Hello, you fucking lunatic of a plant! How are you this morning? Oh good, cause I'm feeling angry too," I yanked a pair of clippers towards me.

"Maybe you should calm down first," Rae mumbled, picking up her own clippers.

"Maybe I want this thing to blow up. It would give me a nice distraction," I retorted angrily. These plants were our new unit. They looked kind of like a cross between a cactus and a bonsai, growing in all directions and quivering slightly in their pots. Our task was to trim the dead leaves and prune the plant as a whole. Seems simple enough, except for the fact that if we so much as _touch_ a healthy branch, the whole thing explodes. What a wonderful way to start the morning.

"Well, I've got news to distract you," Rae announced, starting to observe her own plant and aiming the clippers towards a dead branch.

"If you're going to obsess about my brother, warn me now," I muttered, glaring into the depths of the plant.

"Could you be a little more cheerful? Yeah, thanks. You're ruining my morning," Rae sighed. "This isn't about boys at all."

"Oh, that is _truthfully, _very shocking," I grinned at her, making her roll her eyes.

"This is about Halloween! It's days away, and I _know_ you haven't gotten a costume yet. So, I gathered a last minute order form for you and a bunch of costume catalogs. You're picking something _tonight_ and we'll send the form to Hogsmeade. You'll get the costume in time for the Halloween party!"

"I don't know whether I should be happy or frightened," I glanced at her. She said the words so cheerfully, but her threatening tone was painfully obvious.

"Little bit of both," Rae smirked. I sighed, but started to calm down slightly as class progressed. The class was a double period, so naturally, all hell broke loose during the second half. If it wasn't for these stupid extended classes, such problems would _not_ happen.

First, Michael Corner managed to explode the plant he was pruning.

Second, I was suddenly thrown backwards off my chair.

"WHAT THE – HELL?" I screamed, rolling over and staring at my knocked over chair. To top it all off, my plant suddenly exploded as well. I guess I brushed it on my way down.

"Mr. Corner, please fix this mess," Professor Sprout instructed with forced calm. "Miss Zabini, are you...alright?" she looked at me skeptically as I half crouched on the floor, still staring at my mess of a work space.

"That goddamn chair _bit_ me!" I yelled, gingerly flipping over the chair. Sure enough, a growth of green vines had started to take over the bottom of the chair, now recoiling into their hiding spot. A snort came from across the table, and I glared at Malfoy as he pointedly returned his gaze to his own plant. Blaise was smirking too, though he was plainly abandoning his work in order to watch my struggles.

"No need for language Miss Zabini, I'm sure the chair didn't mean it," even Sprout sounded amused. She wandered off, muttering something about finding a tool to clean the vicious plant life off my chair.

I shook my head, shutting my eyes tightly. I started talking to myself, because it was the only thing that seemed mildly logical at that moment. Rae had turned to listen to me though, so I guess that didn't make me completely insane. "My day is just going _wonderfully_. I thought it couldn't get any better after all the fun of one o' clock in the morning, but it apparently can! My chair bites me, my plant blows up, and I'm pretty sure I'm dripping blood everywhere," I twisted to inspect my left side, finding that it was indeed, stained with blood. The gash was hard to locate, as it was mostly on my back, sort of wrapping around my side as well.

Rae, being the wonderful best friend that she is, started howling with laughter. I glared at her, pretending to not notice Malfoy glance at me during my mention of our late night patrolling. "Look at the bright side!" Rae exclaimed happily.

"This should be good," I grumbled, pressing my hand gingerly to where I thought the wound was. I couldn't actually reach it comfortably, so I doubted that I was doing much good.

"You get to skip Potions!" she cried excitedly, leaping to her feet. "Come on, I'll take you to the hospital wing. Tell Sprout where we went?" she directed the question at Blaise, who nodded. He was still grinning like an idiot. Rae took my arm, leading me from the greenhouses and back towards the castle. I felt fine most of the way there, but started feeling rather light-headed once we actually got inside. It's probably a good thing Rae plays Quidditch, or else she wouldn't have been strong enough to support most of my weight to the Hospital Wing. It's also probably a good thing that the hospital is on the first floor.

"Goodness! What happened?" Madame Pomfrey exclaimed, hurrying towards us and helping Rae guide me to a bed. I collapsed onto it, feeling thankful for something more solid to lean against.

"Some plant bit her in Herbology," Rae explained simply. I heard the laughter still in her voice and blearily saw Pomfrey look at Rae's grin disapprovingly.

"Do we know what kind of plant?" the matron asked, now with a slight edge to her voice.

"Er- no," Rae admitted slowly. "I can go back and find out..."

"That won't be necessary Miss Getzinger, thank you for bringing her to me. You may leave," Pomfrey dismissed Rae swiftly. I saw Rae's half wave towards me and her slightly guilty expression as she edged from the hospital. "Alright dear, just relax, I'll take a look," Pomfrey was standing over me now, moving my robes aside to look at the gash. "Oh, that's not a good color," she murmured, half to herself.

_Never_ something you want to hear from a nurse.

It took her about twenty minutes before she found an ointment that apparently worked. Granted, it was a very _painful_ twenty minutes, as she spent the whole time prodding at the wound. I had my eyes closed most of the time, as if hoping I could just doze off through the whole process. Naturally, that didn't happen, but it was a nice thought all the same.

"Alright Miss Zabini, you may leave now," Pomfrey announced. It was a couple hours after my original arrival, I had lain there with the wound switching off from itching to stinging. She told me it was because of the ointment. "I'm giving you this," she shoved a little jar of the dreaded stuff into my hands. "And I'm instructing you to relax and stay in your common room for the rest of the day. No classes, no activities, _definitely _no Quidditch practice," she added sternly once I opened my mouth. "Apply that every hour until midnight tonight," she gestured to the little container. "If the injury is still there tomorrow, come back and we'll do another ointment dosage."

Distantly, I wondered how I was going to apply the stuff when I could barely reach the injury. I ignored the idea for the time being, hurrying from the hospital. It was a horrible place to spend time in. As it was now lunch time, I headed to the Great Hall.

"Alex!" Rae waved me over after I entered. I headed towards her, sliding into the spot she'd saved for me. "How'd it go? Does Pomfrey hate me?" she questioned at once.

"Probably," I joked, folding my arms on the table and resting my head on them. Did I mention that the ointment was making me sleepy too? I wonder how I'm ever going to make it to midnight. "I have to apply this every hour," I updated her, holding up the little bottle. "I'm not allowed to do anything for the rest of the day. Including Quidditch," I caught Malfoy's eye across the table. He acknowledged that he heard me with a glare and a disproving head shake before turning back to his conversation with Goyle. How Goyle can carry on a conversation, apparently only Malfoy knows.

"It's like he thinks you did it on purpose," Rae had caught the disapproval as well.

"He probably does," I sighed, closing my eyes.

"You look awful," Rae informed me helpfully.

"Thanks."

"I'm serious! You should go back to your common room. I'll bring you dinner later, alright?" she nudged me upright again.

"Mm, okay," I agreed drowsily. I tripped off towards the dungeons, ignoring the expressions of all the students I passed. I must've been a real sight, tired looking and disheveled, swaying awkwardly to the common room. Once there, I collapsed onto the couch. Not really sure what happened after that, because I was suddenly asleep.

•••

Turns out, I didn't actually have to worry about staying awake for the every hour rule with ointment. The bottle was apparently charmed, because it rang obnoxiously every hour. It was like a broken alarm clock. I went to the bathroom every time as well, forced to use the mirror and a washcloth application system to effectively coat the wound with ointment.

All in all, it wasn't a fun process.

As tired as the stuff made me, I normally couldn't fall asleep. It was due to the itching and pain that accompanied every new round of slave. The feeling lasted for about forty minutes before it dulled again, leaving me to sleep for twenty. All to be woken up again by that infernal jar.

My day.

_Wonderful._

Rae brought me dinner at around 7:30. She sat with me for awhile while I ate the selection of food, telling me about practice. Apparently it was uneventful, being short a player. I shooed her away once the container started ringing again, dragging myself to the bathroom in order to struggle with applying it.

It wasn't until about 10:00 that Malfoy decided to show up. Having _perfect timing_ as usual, he arrived just as I was banging around loudly because my inability to reach the wound. "Having fun?" he drawled, leaning against the bathroom doorway to watch my struggles. I grunted at him, unable to actually say anything. My shirt was stuffed in my mouth, as I was holding it there to expose the gash.

Being the ever suave and courteous Malfoy that we all know so well, he continued lounging against the bathroom doorway in order to observe me.

"Do you _not _have anything better to do?" I finally blew up at him, dropping the shirt from my teeth and whirling around to glare at him.

Malfoy raised an eyebrow before he shrugged. "I did, but this is much more entertaining. I also need to use the toilet, but thought it would be better to wait until you're done," he said simply.

"_Little_ too much information, but I appreciate the explanation," I sighed, turning back to the mirror and lifting up the shirt again. At least I hadn't just taken the shirt off originally. That would've been even more humiliating then this already was. Imagine that.

"I have a question."

"Thanks for the announcement," I poked a little more ointment into the wound before deciding that it was good enough, closing the little bottle. Only two left. Yay me. Malfoy was staring at me, making me sigh. "What's the question?"

"How mad are you at me?"

"Is this your weird way of apologizing?"

"Maybe. Answer the question."

I met his gaze, which was void of emotion. Not even anger. He was just looking at me. Weird. I shrugged, unable to think up an answer that would correctly explain what I felt. "I don't hate you any more then usual. We're good, in a not good way," I finally said. Malfoy seemed happy enough with the reply, because he smirked.

"Good. Now get out," he started towards the toilet. Needing no further urging, I scampered from the bathroom.

At 11:00, the goddamn bottle went off ringing again. I was really getting sick of the thing. Having been dozing off slightly on the common room couch, I groaned loudly. I started snickering too, as Malfoy had nearly jumped out of his chair at the sound.

"Jumpy little ferret, aren't you?" I mocked, opening the ointment just so it would shut up. "Why was it _my_ chair?" I grabbed the container and shuffled off towards the bathroom. I heard him follow me. I wondered distantly why he felt the need to watch, but I was too tired to yell at him for it. He leaned against the wall next to me this time, watching my efforts with a raised eyebrow. "What are you thinking about?" I finally demanded, speaking with my teeth clenched around the shirt. He looked so infuriatingly skeptical.

"How depressingly bad you are at that. One would think you would've thought up a method, since you've been doing this all day."

"Pfft. Methods," I scoffed, frowning at him. Malfoy rolled his eyes, shoving his hands into his pockets and tilting his head to observe the injury. I ignored him, using the washcloth that I'd been trying to work with to spread the stuff all over my side.

"This is a rather painful spectacle," Malfoy announced.

"Oh really?" I gestured wildly at him, dropping both my shirt and the washcloth in my overwhelmed state. "I suppose you could do better?"

Without replying, Malfoy took the bottle from my hands, moving around to my left side. I opened my mouth, but he shut me up with a look. "Don't comment. Hold this," he plucked at the bottom of my shirt. For some strange reason, I complied, lifting the material out of the way. I watched him in the mirror as he gathered some of the ointment, head bent in concentration. I found myself focusing on how white his hair seemed to be in the bright lights of the bathroom.

I jumped when his fingers touched my skin. They were cool in temperature, and actually felt nice against the slightly overheated area. With controlled and surprisingly confident movements, he rubbed the ointment into the injury and the surrounding skin. As strange as the whole situation was, I relaxed after a moment. It felt nice. I hated myself for thinking it, but it was true. He was good at this. Vaguely, I wondered why. Maybe it was just a Malfoy thing. He seemed to be good at really random things.

"There," he announced after a minute, stepping back. "Yes, I can do better," he confirmed when I didn't reply right away.

"Yeah. Well. Thanks, I guess."

"Yeah. Well. You're welcome, I guess," he mocked, tossing the container into the air and leaving the bathroom. I caught it on its way back down, staring after him. I had no idea what to feel. I suppose that I was mostly confused, a little shocked, _very_ surprised, and maybe...cheerful?

No, that can't be it.

* * *

**Ahhhhh I'm so happy that you guys got to finally read this! Please, tell me what you think? In a wonderful review? I hope you all love this chapter as much as I do, and that you had just as much fun reading it as I did writing it!**

**Until next Wednesday, my lovelies :)**


	10. The Slytherin Side of the Lake

**I'M BACK! Well, technically I got back last night, only to be greeted by all your reviews, alerts, and favorites waiting for me in my inbox! Seriously guys, I was absolutely blown away by how awesome your responses were. It was the best ending to my awesome boating trip...I can't thank you guys enough.**

**Anyway, happy Wednesday :) Ready for chapter 10? You better be, because this is going to be a fun chapter! Hold onto your hats! Or seats, if you're not wearing a hat...**

* * *

I woke up the next morning in my bed. Lucas was sitting next to my face, one furry paw resting lightly against my cheek as he purred. I grinned at the cat as I rolled onto my back, stretching. It took me a total of two seconds to remember the previous day. I sat bolt upright, causing the room to start spinning. Groaning, I fell back into the pillows, running my hands over my face. I forgot the midnight ointment application. Pomfrey is going to have a shit fit.

Wait. That's not possible. For one, the bottle rings loud enough to wake the entire school. Secondly, I'm sure Malfoy would've forced me into consciousness, just to be an ass. I looked over towards the bedside table, finding the little jar sitting there with a note secured underneath it.

_Zabini – _

_Don't worry about the midnight thing, I did it for you._

_When you wake up, come find me. I'm above you._

– _DM_

Leave it to Malfoy to add a sexual reference in there. Of course, it wasn't _really_ that awful, considering that I knew exactly what he meant. There's a passageway further down in the dungeons, somewhere most students would never think of going willingly. Therefore, only the Slytherins actually know about the spot. The passage ultimately leads to a rock ledge, which sits over the Black Lake. Malfoy must be there. As the Slytherin part of the dungeons are mostly under the lake, that would put him 'above' me.

Ha bloody ha.

I sighed, rolling out of bed. I threw on a bra, jeans, and a sweatshirt, deeming it a good enough outfit. Throwing my hair into a messy bun, I left my room. Wandering down the dark dungeon corridors, I found a little bit of peace in just meandering along. I wasn't in any great hurry. It wasn't like I was super duper thrilled to go see Malfoy. Especially this early in the morning. I wondered how long he would wait there for me. I was somewhat tempted to find out, but ultimately decided against it. I didn't really want to wait until he stopped waiting. What a vicious cycle _that_ would be...

I had reached the entrance to the rock passage now. I climbed over the jagged rocks that made up a small cave, finally emerging at the very edge of the Black Lake. It was slightly eerie here, the dark rocks with the castle's shadow falling over the lake. It looked quite ominous. I liked it though, the image was quiet and unperturbed.

As promised, Malfoy was there, waiting for my arrival. He sat cross-legged on one of the flatter rocks, dangerously close to the water's edge. He could reach out and touch the surface if he wanted to. He didn't turn as I jumped over a couple rocks, nor did his gaze waver from the water when I sat down next to him. He _did_ offer me some of the toast he had piled in a napkin. Not in any real position to refuse, nor unable to ignore my empty stomach, I took a piece.

"Hi," I finally said. The silence had been stretching on. I'd finished the slice of toast, which had taken awhile considering that I had been taking anxious nibbles. I had since taken a second from him, just holding it instead of actually eating it.

"Morning," he replied evenly. There was no emotion in his voice. Not happy, relieved, amused, not even upset or furious. I couldn't think of how to continue the conversation. Luckily, I didn't have to. "Remember any of last night?"

"Not really," I shrugged. It was true, the last memory I really had was around 11:30, when the ointment pain started to dull again. "That stuff made me really tired, and I guess the lack of sleep when I actually needed it was bad. Uh, thanks for the midnight thing. You could've just woken me up."

I felt his shrug rather then saw it. His arm brushed mine in the process. It made me stiffen, I'm sure he noticed. "It was alright. You looked tired. You passed out mid-sentence you know," he actually sounded entertained now.

"What?" I turned to look at him, finding him laughing silently.

"Yeah, you were explaining something about the exploding plants in Herbology, then just fell asleep during the middle of the whole monologue."

"Does that mean...you brought me to my room?" I asked slowly. It had only then dawned on me that I had no recollection of getting there.

"Yes," he was still smirking. "I actually tried to wake you up for that, but you started yelling about werewolves that raised me. More like loud mumbling, you were still really disoriented. So, I just carried you."

"Thanks. Again," I huffed. "It's not a good habit to thank you all the time. Can I just write it down and never have to actually say it again?"

"That would take all the fun out of forcing you to say it," he said, as if this was obvious. He handed me the napkin with the remaining pieces of toast, turning towards me more. His hands were against my left side, pausing a few times as he moved. I didn't stop him. Malfoy pulled up the side of my sweatshirt to look at the wound site.

"Am I in for another day of torture?" I asked glumly.

"No. It's gone," he dropped the shirt, turning back to his original position.

"Seriously?" I was about to twist around to check, but I wouldn't have been able to see it anyway. Especially with a sweatshirt in the way.

"You don't trust me?" he asked, watching my face. I guess my facial expressions were obviously connected to my thought process. He still looked entertained, though there was some other flicker behind his eyes. I couldn't decide what it was.

"Not really," I answered honestly. The flicker grew, though I still didn't know what it was. "Are you trustworthy?"

Malfoy frowned, the strange expression dying off. "No."

"I guess I'm a good judge of character then," I beamed at him before turning my gaze across the lake.

"Why do you do that?" he suddenly asked, sounding irritated at whatever I did.

I shot him a glance, finding him scrutinizing me. I looked back at the undisturbed water surface, running what I just did through my head. Nothing seemed strange. "Uh, do what?" I asked, wondering if it was a stupid question.

"Smile. Joke. Laugh. Anything that you do normally. Why do you continue doing them now? It's just us, you hate me. You don't have to make the effort," he added the last comment after a pause. It was in a much softer tone, he almost sounded upset.

I hadn't really thought about it. I shrugged lamely, tossing one of the uneaten pieces of toast into the lake. It floated there for a moment before a giant squid tentacle rose from the water and pulled the food beneath the surface. "Did you want me to express my hatred?" I asked quietly, unsure what I would do if he said yes.

"I don't think you hate me as much as you think you do," he announced.

_He wasn't wrong._ "I think that you shouldn't think that you know how much I think I hate you," I countered. Hah. Think about _that_.

"I think that you think I didn't understand that," Malfoy replied. I heard his smirk. I rolled my eyes, throwing another piece of toast into the lake. "I'll rephrase, if it makes you feel better. I don't think you hate me as much as you _say_ you do."

_He still wasn't wrong._ _He's quite correct, actually. _I sighed, looking at him. He was still watching me. "I don't know what you want me to say to that," I informed him. It was true. I had no idea how to reply.

"We should be friends," he replied abruptly. He averted his gaze this time, watching bubbles pop up in the place of the second piece of toast as it disappeared. I, on the other hand, gaped openly at him.

"You think very highly of yourself, don't you?" I asked, frowning. A ghost of a smirk appeared on his face.

"You just noticed?"

"What, I don't hate you as much as I say, therefore I _must_ feel the need to start a friendship with you?" I asked, very much aware that I was still gawking awkwardly at him.

"Why not?" he shrugged, looking at me out of the corners of his eyes. "Come on Zabini, how bad could a friendship with me be?"

I clapped a hand over my face, groaning quietly. "Well, we've sort of been mortal enemies from day one. There's a small tip off that this _isn't_ the best idea," I rolled my eyes, finally closing my jaw.

I had started watching the lake again, therefore I didn't see his movement. That is, until his voice was right next to my ear. "I think we'd manage," he breathed quietly. His breath washed down my neck, making me shiver involuntarily. I knew he felt it, and he was close enough to me that I could actually feel his lips turn up in a smile.

I looked round at him as he sat up straight again. I mulled the idea over, albeit with major distraction. His convincing tactic apparently worked well – I could nearly feel the ghost of his breath in my ear. Finally, I shifted my position so I sat facing him with legs still crossed. Malfoy mirrored my actions, our knees were almost touching. "So, what? Trial friends? We could see how it works," I said slowly. He actually looked pleased that I wasn't yelling and refusing the suggestion. In fact, he shrugged.

"Sure. We'll have a trial friendship," he agreed, holding out a hand.

I actually hesitated. It was like I was selling my soul or my freedom or _something_. Malfoy raised an eyebrow, almost as a challenge. I exhaled. Then, I shook his hand. His grip was nice, his hand was a good, dry temperature. I could feel slight roughness on his palm from Quidditch. That was nice too. Why was I thinking about this? I blinked, realizing that we'd been sitting like that for a good minute. I dropped his hand.

"Alright Malfoy. Trial friends," I stated. He smirked, giving me a very quiet scoff. "What?" I asked, a little defensively.

"Do you call all your friends by last name?"

"Theodore. I call him 'Nott' all the time," I expelled the fact quickly, barely thinking about it. I just knew I needed a good answer.

"You're _dating_ Nott. Different story," he sighed, tilting his head as our eyes met. Eye contact proved to be dizzying, with his swirls of stormy gray and flecks of blue. I was literally left breathless at the intensity of his gaze. Internally, I choked soundlessly, hoping with all the hope I could muster that he didn't notice my lack of air.

Finally, thank _Merlin_, I figured out how to breathe again. "Okay...Draco. Trial friends."

"Good," he stood up. I copied him, just so I wouldn't feel awkward sitting at his feet. "As a friend, I have to tell you something," he said, eyes full of hidden thoughts and a small smile playing around his lips.

"Alright?" I agreed, a little nervously. Malfoy – uh, _Draco_ – surprised me by stepping closer. I wasn't sure how he managed it, this rock wasn't that big. We had already been pretty close together. One of his hands was on the small of my back, pressing my body into his. The other hand was under my chin, forcing my face up so he could look right into my eyes. His head dropped, as he was a good few inches taller then I was, so our foreheads touched.

"You're the most beautiful friend that I've ever had," he informed me quietly. I shivered again as his breath touched my face. This time, it was obvious that he noticed, as his hand against my back pulled me even more securely towards him.

"I beat Parkinson?" I whispered, unable to get my voice any louder. I had no idea why the question slipped out. Maybe because I needed to throw a joke somewhere into this interaction. Draco didn't laugh. Shame.

"For all I care, Parkinson is a bug under your shoes," he actually growled the words. Without waiting for an answer, he left. He just seemed to melt away, leaving me standing there. I was shocked, bewildered, unable to think straight. Hell, I could barely see straight. Why did he have this effect on me? It took me a couple minutes before the entirety of the situation completely dawned on me.

Draco Malfoy is my friend. Well, 'trial' friend.

Draco Malfoy thinks I'm beautiful.

Just...what?

I started laughing. I wasn't sure why. It was probably nervous energy, and I just needed to expel it somehow. I realized that I was shaking uncontrollably from the oddly excited fire that was shooting through my stomach, accompanying the butterflies that were fluttering there.

Butterflies?

I had butterflies in my stomach because of Draco Malfoy.

What universe am I living in?

I had to tell someone. I had no idea what to think. I could barely figure out how to get myself moving again. When I eventually figured it out, I headed back into the castle. Thankfully, Draco was nowhere to be seen. I had no idea how to deal with him at that moment. As I walked back towards the main part of the school, I reached an ultimatum. It was a hard one to come to, and I hated myself for it, but it was painfully true.

I couldn't tell Rae.

I mean, I could, but it wouldn't be a very helpful conversation. She'd tell me that she 'told me so,' then decide that I was insane and not approve. Ah, the thought process of my best friend. I couldn't tell her yet. I needed someone else. Someone who would actually listen, try their best not to judge, and possibly offer some helpful insight. Or something.

For some reason, the most insane possible answer that I could've thought of popped into my head. It would be a perfect solution, if it wasn't so absurd. Though at that moment, I didn't have much of a choice. I needed to spill everything that was in my head to someone.

Hermione Granger.

With the idea firmly in place, and before I could talk myself out of it, I started off through the halls. I had no idea where I would possibly find her, but decided that I would rather check everywhere else in the castle rather then brave the Gryffindor common room. Again. I nearly screamed in relief when I found her in the library. She was alone and doing DADA homework.

"Hermione!" I exclaimed, as loudly as possible while still not alerting Madam Pince. Her head jerked up, scanning the room until spotting me. She visibly relaxed, throwing her quill down and covering her face with her hands while I sat down in the chair across from her.

"Hey Alexa," her hands dropped. She looked exhausted and irritated. "How are you?"

"Uh-" I stopped, unable to give her a straight answer. "Never mind that. Why are you alone?"

"Ron's being foul cause he thinks he's a lousy Keeper," she mumbled, frowning. "This is what I get for having guys for friends," she huffed. "I'm avoiding them both. I'm actually glad to see you, I finally have someone to talk to."

"Well, I might talk a little too much," I mumbled. She looked at me quizzically. I had a moment of second guessing, but it was probably to late to scrap this plan. "Look, I really need a girl to talk to. Long story short, I can't talk to anyone in Slytherin. Since you're the first person outside my house that I'd consider almost a friend, I've come to ask for your ear. And possibly your feedback, if you find it in yourself to not judge me to terribly."

She laughed. I had no idea what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't that. "First off, you're going to need to talk a little slower," Hermione said calmly. "Secondly, of course you can talk to me. Let's get out of here though. Bookshelves have ears, and you look like you're not prepared to explain whatever it is you're about to explain quietly. Want to go for a walk?"

"Thank you," I breathed, standing up.

"Sure," she actually looked pleased with this development. "Something to do other then homework, and your face says that this is going to be a very_ interesting_ conversation."

"You're probably not going to have the most...er- _objective_ view on any of this. Considering you're a Gryffindor and all," I admitted slowly as we headed towards the main floor and the grounds.

"I'll do my best," she assured me. We walked along in silence until we got outside. It was freezing outside, the clouds and temperature were threatening incoming snow. Needless to say, we were alone. Nobody was out taking casual strolls. "Alright, I'd say this is a pretty good place to talk," Hermione decided. I laughed as I agreed. "Go ahead, talk away," she gestured openly to me as she pulled a Gryffindor scarf out of her coat pocket to wrap around her neck.

"Well, I guess it started with our first Quidditch practice..."

I told her _everything _about Draco and I. No details left out. Starting with Rae's observations after the practice, my relationship with Theodore and Draco's warning about him, the argument I eavesdropped on during Prefect patrol, Pokey, the Herbology incident, the ointment, and finally ending less then an hour ago at the conversation held at the edge of the lake.

"...Then he left, and I haven't seen him since," I finished. The whole story was exhausting. It was as if I'd said it all in one breath. It had taken me awhile too, we had nearly lapped the grounds twice.

"I'm not walking in silence, I'm thinking about everything you said," Hermione informed me. I nodded, waiting while she mulled over the story. We walked quietly for awhile longer, starting the third lap around the castle. "I- I dunno Alexa, I really don't know Draco at all," she finally said. She genuinely sounded apologetic.

"It's alright," I shrugged. "I don't know what I actually wanted out of this. It was nice to tell someone though," I kicked a rock along as we walked, tucking my hands deeper into my sweatshirt pockets.

"I do have a thought," Hermione said after a moment. I glanced at her. "I think you should end your relationship with Theodore. I know, he's your boyfriend, so that's not something to be taken lightly. But you don't seem all that certain about actually dating him anyway, maybe it would be a good thing to just be friends with him. It's just...that thing about the mail is really concerning. Also, now that Draco has expressed that he actually cares for you, maybe you should consider his warning genuine."

"Maybe you're right," I sighed, sitting down on the next bench we came close to. Walking had become too tiresome to accompany this conversation. Hermione sat next to me. "I really don't believe that Theodore would hurt me though. Honestly, I don't. I _know_ he's a good person."

"People change," Hermione shrugged. "It's even more concerning that he was gone for so long, considering that Draco seems to be the only one who knew about it. Harry thinks that Draco is a Death Eater," she threw in casually.

I snorted loudly, unable to stop myself from continuing into laughter. "That's absurd," I finally choked through my giggles. "Draco isn't that mean."

"You hated him for the first sixteen years of your life," Hermione pointed out.

I waved this fact off. "Yeah, cause he's a spoiled and pompous little brat. I guess I'm required to say that affectionately, now that he's my 'friend'. Seriously though, believe me and pass this onto Harry. Draco really isn't as evil as he seems. Even if he _is_ involved in Death Eater crap, he's not going to go Bellatrix insane or anything," I was still chuckling as I spoke, imagining the absurdity.

Hermione didn't reply at once. Instead, she watched me laugh, a strange expression on her face. When I looked at her curiously, she just smiled. "You really don't strike me as a Slytherin," she admitted.

"What do I strike you as?"

"Well, I'd say Gryffindor, but you'd say that I'm biased," she grinned as I nodded in agreement. "You're...nice," she seemed to be able to find no other way of putting it.

"You know why I think Slytherins and Gryffindors have such a harsh rivalry?" I replied with a question. Hermione shook her head. "They're too much alike. Determined, intelligent, brave, no regard for rules, resourceful. We're super powers of houses, and we have no choice but to fight each other. I mean, think about a rivalry with Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff. It would be boring," I scoffed.

"I suppose you're right," Hermione actually sat and thought about my words. "I never really thought about it that way."

"Blaise thinks it's a stupid theory," I mumbled. "I wonder if Draco is telling him about the whole friendship thing," I suddenly wondered aloud, talking mostly to myself.

"Do you care?" Hermione asked.

"No, I suppose not. Everyone is going to find out anyway," I shrugged, then started giggling. "Hah, Parkinson is going to have a _fit_. It's going to be fantastic," I clapped gleefully.

"Why is that fantastic?" Hermione asked, though she was smiling too.

"Cause I can taunt her endlessly! And I can blackmail Draco into backing me up, because he's my 'friend' now, and that's what 'friends' do," I smiled widely.

"Normally, you don't blackmail your friends," Hermione reminded me.

"Which is what makes me a Slytherin, not a Gryffindor," I said simply.

Hermione rolled her eyes, sighing slightly. "Can I ask you a question that you probably don't want to be asked?" she wondered, the query spoken slowly as she considered the words while she said them.

"I suppose," I agreed, shrugging.

"I want you to answer as honestly as you possibly can," she started, voice almost stern. I nodded. "How do you _really_ feel about Draco?"

I looked at her. Somewhere in her eyes, I saw that she already had an answer. There was apparently only one correct answer to this, which she apparently knew. I was left momentarily confused and overwhelmed. She knew the answer to a question that I didn't even know how to _begin_ to answer.

"I-" the reply tried to start, but I broke off before I could get any further, faltering into silence. Hermione just watched me expectantly. "I- I think-" I stopped again, looking off across the grounds. They were desolate and gray, shaded by the low hanging clouds and the impending snow that still hadn't hit. "I don't hate him," I finally mumbled.

"I think we covered that," Hermione seemed to be on the verge of laughter. "What else?" she prodded. I pondered for a few minutes, trying to decide whether to actually tell her what I was thinking. In the end, I took a breath. I had told her everything else, why stop now?

"I don't want to fall in love with him," I whispered. I wondered if she heard me, as the wind picked up just as I spoke. It began to howl across the small courtyard we were sitting in, somewhere in the middle of the Hogwarts grounds. I risked a glance at my companion, seeing her understanding and purely friendly smile. I had apparently satisfied her supposed answer.

"We should head back," she announced, standing up. I followed suit, but was surprised to find myself being pulled into a hug. I hugged her back, with slight awkwardness in my surprise. When Hermione let me go, she still smiled pleasantly. "You're a good person Alexa. It'll work out," she assured me. "Come on, it's freezing out here. I can't believe we've been out here for this long. I bet the Great Hall has hot chocolate," she beckoned, starting off in that direction.

Huh. Gryffindors. Apparently they can surprise you.

•••

We returned to the castle with perfect timing. Seconds after we set foot inside, the first snowflakes started to fall from the sky. It would be a blizzard soon. As predicted, the Great Hall was wonderfully stocked with steaming hot chocolate. Hermione managed to talk me into coming to sit with her at the Gryffindor table, and we watched the ceiling as we warmed up, observing it turn whiter and whiter from snowfall.

"What are you smirking about?" I finally demanded. Hermione just snorted, keeping her gaze on something behind me. When I made to look around, she shook her head, ducking her head towards her hot chocolate. I was about to keep questioning her, but someone stopped me by sitting down on my left. I looked around, finding none other then Draco Malfoy fidgeting in his new seat.

"This is probably the most humiliating moment of my life," he announced, apparently unable to decide where to put his hands. He settled for folding them tightly together and placing them stiffly on the table top.

"And yet, you sacrifice your reputation for me. Good friendship stuff, I'm proud," I praised, casually sipping my drink.

"I'm here for Rae," he blurted.

"Wounding. I held no appeal?" I pretended to pout, blinking rapidly in his direction.

"She's threatened all of Slytherin house that if one of us doesn't find you and send you her way _immediately_, she'll start torturing First Years," Draco ignored my sarcasm, updating me in an almost formal manner.

"Rae loves children," I rolled my eyes.

"She mentioned that. It was to emphasize how serious she is. She's prepared to sacrifice her love for the strange pygmies in order to track you down."

"They're not pygmies!" I exclaimed. This was start of term feast all over again.

Draco snickered. "Can I go now? Have you been properly informed?" he rolled his eyes as he asked the questions, still apparently unable to find a comfortable position on the foreign table.

"If I said no, how long would you stay?" I challenged. Draco just fidgeted, looking too uncomfortable for his own good. In fact, he looked much younger then he was. I had a brief flash of a nine year old Draco, sitting at the dinner table in Malfoy Manor and squirming about because he had been forbidden to leave. I laughed. "Go away," I waved my hand dismissively in his direction. He couldn't have gotten out of there fast enough.

"My respect for him just grew, just a little tiny bit," Hermione said casually.

"Why's that?"

"He didn't call me a mudblood. I'd rather he ignore me then insult me," she was smiling.

"I think you have very low standards of him," I grinned, making her pull a face at me. I finished off the hot chocolate before standing up. "I consider every threat Rae makes to be very genuine. I should go find her before she hangs a First Year off the Astronomy Tower. See you later, Hermione."

"See you," she waved. As I left, I considered the fact that she really didn't know how grateful I was towards her. Being able to expel my thoughts and pretty much my entire heart helped clear my head. I could tell Rae now, no matter what her reply would be. I had thought about the situation enough to accept whatever the reaction I would get from her.

That is, unless she already heard. That would be bad.

Now, my only task was to find her.

* * *

**Chapter 10, come and gone :) Told you this was a big one! Alexa and Draco are friends! Thoughts? We're in the double digit chapters now, which is just a whole other exciting thing entirely...Chapter 11 to be coming soon!**

**While you're waiting, review? (I'm compelled to ask, I'm sure you understand...ha :D )**


	11. The Headmaster's Office at 3AM

**Hey guys! Happy Friday :) **

**It is my _great_ pleasure to welcome you to chapter 11! This is a wonderful moment, because the health of my internet is really starting to worry me...but here we are, up and running! **

**I'm probably just going to start putting random disclaimers on random chapters when the need strikes me...I own nothing from Harry Potter, all of it belongs to the wonderfully brilliant J.K. Rowling, without whom I would have no childhood. I do own all my OC characters, cause my brain is weird that way :)**

**Continue onward with chapter 11! **

* * *

By some insane miracle, I found Rae in the first place I checked. The Slytherin common room. Seconds after the wall closed behind me, my vision was obstructed by a very angry looking girl, blonde ringlets flying haphazardly in every direction and hands poised on her hips.

"Alexa Zabini, where in the world do you think you've _been_?" Rae demanded scathingly, grabbing my arm and dragging me towards the fireplace. Her strength surprised me slightly, and I went tripping after her until she pushed me into an armchair.

I, having the brilliant mind that I do, smirked up at her. "Sorry mum! I met this really cute boy, he took me out and we _danced all night_! It was so magical, we might even elope and have a clan of children!" I sang in a love struck tone.

"I can't believe I deal with you," Rae rolled her eyes, falling into the couch next to my chair. I saw a flicker of a smile on her face, but it died quickly. "Seriously Alexa, getting bit by a chair doesn't mean you can just go ahead and vanish off the face of the earth."

I hadn't really considered that. "Uh- did I?" I asked, feigning innocence.

"Uh- _yeah_!" Rae mocked my sentence structure, rolling her eyes. "You weren't at breakfast, so I went down to your common room only to end up yelling at the tapestry for awhile. Both you and Malfoy just kind of vanished. Malfoy reappeared a little before noon, told us he hadn't seen you since morning, then just disappeared again."

I pushed hair out of my face, sighing. "Sorry," I mumbled lamely.

Rae ignored the apology, taking another breath in order to continue with her lecture. "To make matters worse, the grapevine of rumors is quite eager to learn that you and Malfoy are no longer in a 'hatred' relationship. A few little grapes are actually having the nerve to say that you're _friends_. Please, explain," she looked at me expectantly, the furious expression starting to melt away as it was replaced with genuine curiosity.

"The grapevine isn't lying. For once," I confirmed. I recounted all the events of the previous night and this morning to her (obviously leaving _out_ my conversation with the Gryffindor 'enemy'), telling her all about Draco assisting me with the ointment and his proposition this morning. It was much easier to explain the second time. Rae's expression grew more and more incredulous, by the end of the story she was sitting there with her mouth hanging open in shock.

"I- uh- er- you...and...Malfoy- gah-" she stuttered after I fell silent.

I smirked at she fumbled for some sort of reply. When she couldn't seem to formulate one, I tried to help her out. "First thought?" I egged, making hand gestures as if they would help pull words from her.

Rae choked, then cocked her head slightly. "So, it's 'Draco' now?" she finally asked.

I snorted, falling heavily backwards into the armchair. "I guess. Unless I start calling you 'Getzinger' and Sterling 'Emerillon'. Then I'd have a legitimate alibi to why I can continue calling him Malfoy. I think the alternative is easier," I shrugged against the chair, closing my eyes. I could almost hear Rae bursting with questions and opinions, so I just waited patiently.

"Told you so," she finally huffed. She didn't sound very happy about it.

Hah. I knew she'd say that. "Yeah, yeah, you're a whacked relationship guru. I'm proud," I snorted.

"Alexa-" she began, but broke off in her search for the right words. I opened my eyes again, looking at her torn expression. "Look, you're my best friend. Which means I'll always stand by you. I respect your decisions," she assured me, seeming to ponder the words very carefully as she said them.

"But?" I prodded after a pause.

"I really don't think this is a very good idea," she finally admitted. "Something isn't right, I'm sure of it. Why would Malfoy just suddenly suggest friendship? You two have been at each other's throats for _years_, what changed?"

I shrugged. "He got hit over the head with a Bludger?" I suggested, mainly because it was the first thing that popped to mind.

Rae rolled her eyes. "Just...be careful, please? You said that Malfoy agreed with you himself, that he can't be trusted. I say keep that in mind. Don't fall for any of his tricks, because you'll regret it forever," she warned. After the words were said, she visibly relaxed. I guessed she'd said what she needed to spit out.

"Always cheerful, aren't you?" I rolled my eyes, but smiled anyway. The serious conversation was over. We were good. All was forgotten, until the next inevitable time that this topic would come up.

"Well yeah, duh. I'm a _Rae_ of sunshine!" she used her own name, giving me an expectant look.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. That was _punny_ Rae, nice one," I monotoned dryly.

She clapped excitedly, then jumped up. "So, Miss I-get-out-of-Halloween-costume-shopping-because-I-get-bitten-by-a-chair," she exclaimed, all in one breath. "Don't think you can escape me twice! We're finding you a costume, _now._"

•••

As it turned out, Rae apparently _had_ prepared for this. Up in the girl's dormitory, she had a pile of costume catalogs and an order form waiting to be filled out. We spent the remainder of the day, just talking and discussing everything that occurred to us.

"Ugh, this is hopeless," I complained, tossing my ninth catalog to the side. "These are all way to slutty."

"No they're not," Rae snorted, continuing to avidly look through her catalog.

"What are you going as?" I asked, eyeing the frightening costumes that could barely be more then lingerie.

"An angel," she smiled. "You could be a black angel, we could rival each other!"

"I don't think so," I grimaced. "I'm not really a 'wings' sort of person."

"Suit yourself," Rae shrugged. I picked up the tenth catalog, flipping it open and starting to flick through pages disinterestedly. One thing caught my eye, and an idea formulated as I continued to look at other costumes. Finding nothing else that struck my fancy, and now completely focused on my plan, I voiced it to Rae. "Really?" she snorted, looking at me disapprovingly.

"What's wrong with that?" I giggled, heading over to the order form to fill it out.

"It's so snarky and _not_ festive!" she claimed loudly.

"Halloween isn't about being festive," I snorted. "I like it, it's funny," I grinned, sealing the form quickly before she could stop me. "You wanted me to have a costume, there it is. It's the best you're getting."

"Fine," she huffed. "Nobody will see you anyway, I'll distract them all with my shiny angel brilliance," she smiled widely.

"I'm sure you will," I nodded exaggeratedly, making Rae stick her tongue out and throw a pillow in my direction.

"Be nice," she lectured. "Anyway, it's almost four. Which means we're _supposed_ to be having Quidditch practice, unless Malfoy decides to mysteriously cancel it again. Which he did this morning, by the way. We're all good team members who manage to show up for practice, while you two just go all M.I.A. on us," she rolled her eyes.

"Be nice," I repeated back to her. "Fine then, let's go."

We made our way down to the pitch and into the locker rooms, where the rest of the team was also arriving to get changed. "You sir, are a horrid captain," Rae announced loudly to Draco, throwing a discarded towel across the room that succeeded in whacking him across the face.

"Thanks Getzinger, means a lot," he replied with a half sneer. "What are you laughing at?" he directed at me. I just kept right on snickering, pulling a practice shirt over my head instead of replying.

"It's bad form to just cancel without notice," Rae continued ranting, though she followed my example of starting to get changed.

"You know what _I_ think?" I asked, wrapping a towel around myself in order to change into suitable pants. Being the only girl on the team for years before Rae came along taught me to be quite good at this. It really sucked to have to wait until everyone was out of the room to change. So, now I'm the _master_ at changing clothes in the open without anyone seeing anything. "_I_ think that this is a sign. You've canceled two morning Saturday practices now, it's about time that we just don't ever have them. Let us all sleep in on Saturday, _have a heart!_" I wailed dramatically.

Draco rolled his eyes, resting his broom over his shoulder. "No," he replied simply before leaving the locker room.

"Git," I muttered under my breath.

"Heard that," his voice came back into the room. I pulled a face at the closed door as I tied my hair back in a messy bun. Rae was laughing, to which I glared at her.

"Hey," she held her hands up in surrender. "I'm not the one who's calling him a 'friend' now."

I just looked at her, unable to think up a decent response. Finally, I sighed. "Pshaw. Just...pshaw. Shut up," I huffed at her amused expression, grabbing my broom and scampering from the room.

As I headed off, I heard Flint's voice echoing back from the locker room. "Wait...Alexa and Malfoy don't hate each other anymore?" he asked stupidly.

"Welcome back to the world! How was that rock you were living under?" Rae replied scathingly. I snickered to myself as I wandered away. After a minute, Sterling caught up with me.

"Does Nott know?" were the first words out of his mouth.

"Hello Sterling. Yes, I'm quite well, thanks for asking! How are _you_ this fine snowy evening?" I gave him a wide smile, to which Sterling just gave me a look. "Well I don't know, do I? Though if he doesn't, his rock must be much nicer then Flint's, if he still hasn't emerged from under it," I shrugged. Sterling looked pained. He shuffled along as we headed onto the pitch, fidgeting restlessly. "What's wrong?" I finally asked, grabbing his shoulder and making him turn towards me. He wouldn't look directly at me.

"I have to tell you something," he mumbled, taking great interest in his feet kicking at the fresh snow on the ground.

"Okay? What?" I pressed, tilting my head to try and make him look at me.

Sterling glanced around, then shook his head. "Later. Let's meet up. Tonight. I'll let you know a time, okay?"

"Sure," I muttered. He smiled weakly before jumping on his broom and taking off, leaving me looking after him with curiosity burning a hole in my chest.

•••

At dinner that night, I felt Sterling's hand in my pocket as he left the table. It was only for a brief moment, I wasn't even sure if I actually felt it. I wouldn't have been absolutely sure, but I put my own hand in there a minute or so after he was gone. A piece of paper sat there, which I shoved further into the pocket. It taunted me all through the remainder of dinner, sitting innocently against my leg. When I finally couldn't sit still anymore, I got up, trying to do so without being noticed.

I guess I didn't so so great, because Theodore caught me around the waist and pulled me back down on to his lap. "Seriously? You barely ate anything," he sounded disapproving. I rolled my eyes, glancing down at my plate.

"Looks eaten to me," I gestured to it.

"You just pushed food around your plate. Believe me, I know the difference."

"Tomato, tomáto," I shrugged. "I have to go, I've got Runes translations to do," I said evenly. It wasn't technically a lie, I _did_ have to do translations. I just wasn't going to do them tonight. He just looked at me. "Which entails you letting me up," I continued pointedly, referring to his hands around my waist. Theodore rolled his eyes, but his grip loosened anyway. I grinned, kissing him once before using his shoulder to push myself upright again. Waving, I skipped out of the Great Hall and back towards the common room. Once there, I collapsed into an armchair before pulling out the slip of paper.

_**Tonight. 2:30.**_

Sterling's messy excuse for handwriting adorned the page. Wondering vaguely why he felt the need to meet so late, I shrugged, tossing the paper into the fire. I felt the need to burn it, having no desire for anyone to see it. I watched the paper curl and smolder, until it was just some ash sitting at the bottom of the fireplace.

"I see the Runes are coming along nicely," Draco had come into the common room without me noticing, now sitting in his usual armchair across the little table from mine.

"Swimmingly, thanks," I agreed, kicking my feet up onto the table.

"Who says 'swimmingly' anymore?" he scoffed.

"Me."

"Rae isn't pleased with your Halloween costume," Draco announced suddenly.

I snickered happily. "Oh really? I quite like my costume. Did she tell you what it is?" I asked. He shook his head. I clapped enthusiastically, enjoying his curious expression. "Oh good. It'll be a lovely surprise," I decided.

"I guess I have to go to the party now," he muttered, looking at the firelight.

"Were you not going to go?"

He shook his head again. "Pansy is being insufferable, insisting that I'm taking her as a date. I was going to tell her that I wasn't attending anyway."

I snickered, wondering why he was telling _me_ this, but enjoying the confession all the same. "Come on, she'll probably be dressing as some scantily clad fairy. I can't believe you aren't jumping at the opportunity!"

"Very funny," he grumbled.

"Dress up as some super hideous gargoyle or something, then she won't want to be seen with you," I suggested, entertaining myself with the visual.

"I suppose you're going with Nott?" he changed the subject abruptly, looking irritated at my suggestion. Oh well. I thought it was a good idea.

"I suppose," I agreed, shrugging. "I'm only officially going as of today, because I have a costume. I don't really want to. I don't like holidays," I admitted quietly. I hadn't actually meant to say it aloud, but the revelation just sort of came out of my mouth.

"Really?" Draco suddenly seemed interested by this conversation. "Any holidays?"

"Nope," I shook my head.

"Christmas?"

"Ixnay."

"New Years?"

"Nada."

"Valentine's Day?" he was smirking now.

"Please," I gagged. "Worst holiday ever invented."

"Your birthday?"

I shot him a look. He just raised his eyebrows. "One, birthdays aren't technically holidays. Second, I've always hated my birthday."

"Nobody hates their birthday."

"I do," I nodded. "I have to share my birthday with Blaise. It's always so awful, because my mother puts so much more effort towards him then me, because he's the 'male' of the family. Apparently neither of my parents really wanted a girl," I shrugged, bringing my legs up towards my chest and wrapping my arms around them. Resting my chin on my knees, I looked at the wood patterns of the table between us. "It's always Blaise's birthday. Never mine."

I'd never told anyone that.

"When's your birthday?"

"Same as Blaise, smart one," I rolled my eyes. Draco just tilted his head, expression unwavering. "You don't know your best friend's birthday?" I scoffed incredulously. He shrugged. "April 17th."

"Oh," he mumbled, seeming to fall deep into some sort of thought. I scrutinized his expression, then started giggling. He looked up. "What?"

"You're upset!" I called him out on the feeling, pointing accusingly at him. "I'm older then you, aren't I? I'm older then you and you don't like it!"

"I didn't say that!" he scoffed, shaking his head. I just kept laughing, clapping my hands together and trying to dance around while still curled on the chair. I ended up just doing some weird wiggle moves.

"I _am_ older then you!" I suddenly remembered. "Your birthday is...what? June 5th? Yeah, I remember that card thing. I was forced to put my name on it. Hah! I get to be seventeen before you!" I sang obnoxiously, swaying back and forth in my seat. "Right Pokey?" I asked the Pokeypine, who was excitably jumping around at my gleeful tone. "I wonder how old you are," I mused to the animal, flipping over in the chair to hang off of it upside down. My head brushed the floor, and I scrunched up my face as Pokey sniffed it happily.

"I think I'll go to bed now," Draco muttered, getting out of his chair. I watched him from my upside down position.

"Awh, did I hurt your feelings?" I wailed dramatically after him.

"No, I just have no desire to be around you when you're acting like a child," he replied evenly.

"Pshaw, you love my child-like behavior. You also love my animal obsession. It brings your life happiness," I countered.

"Goodnight Alexa," he said pointedly. Moments later, his bedroom door closed.

"He's just jealous," I told Pokey quietly. He squeaked in reply before lumbering off to plop down in front of the fireplace. "Ah, everyone's going to sleep," I scoffed. I glanced around, trying to read the time on the clock upside down. It didn't work so well, so I rolled off the chair and sat on the floor to see it. 12:40. I still had awhile before going to meet Sterling. So, I dragged some textbooks out of my bag, setting to work on a Transfiguration essay.

•••

When 2:30 finally rolled around, I had exhausted all my efforts into all the assigned essays. I had only taken one break to head into my bedroom, changing into the more comfortable outfit of a gray ribbed tank top and a pair of dark green track pants. Yes, I make an effort to wear Slytherin colors. Shocking, no? As for the homework situation, Runes were still left unfinished, but I'd promised Hermione to complete them with her. Thank god I could stop doing homework now. I was also quite tired, therefore my last paragraph of a History of Magic essay had been rewritten three times, because I kept writing it wrong.

I left the common room quietly, heading down the hall and towards the main Slytherin common room. I wasn't sure where I was supposed to meet Sterling, but that seemed like the best place to check first. When I didn't find him there, I continued wandering through the dungeons. After a few minutes, I started wondering if he just wasn't going to show up. He probably fell asleep or something. Sighing heavily, I started heading back the way I came.

I almost missed it.

The strange shadow against one wall, casted eerily by the dimly flickering torch on the wall. "Lumos," I muttered, directing my wand towards the strange shape. What I saw sent me reeling backwards, crashing into the opposite wall and sliding down it in shock.

Sterling lay in a pile against the wall. He looked completely limp, with eyes wide open and unseeing.

"Oh, shit," I whispered, staring at his body. He looked absolutely lifeless. "Sterling," I called hoarsely, having apparently lost the ability to talk. I wasn't sure what saying his name would accomplish. Maybe he'd suddenly wake up. Nothing of the sort happened. I crawled towards him, sitting next to his body and trying to get my brain working again. What was I supposed to do? "Rennervate," I finally blurted, pointing my wand at his chest. Red light hit him square on. I watched him, not even daring to breath. Nothing happened for a good few minutes, when all hope faded from my chest. I started gaping stupidly, burning sensations filling my eyes as I started to go into shock. He couldn't be dead. This was _Sterling._

His whole body started to spasm. It was completely unexpected, and it sent me reeling back across the floor. He was alive! Though...I wasn't convinced that this was any better. His mouth was wide open, yelling soundlessly as he twitched and jerked on the floor. It was a horrifying sight. This new development spurring me into action, I went leaping to my feet. Instantly, I tripped. I went rolling down the hall, leaping back into an upright position and continuing on. I went for the closest source of assistance I could think of.

Snape's office.

I skidded in front of the door, pausing for only a brief second before pounding on it like lives were at stake. Which they probably were. The sound echoed along the stone hallway, making me cringe. I kept right on hammering on the door, not even daring to think how mad Snape was going to be.

I was forced to think about it when the door swung open. Then, I had a the briefest speculation if he slept in those robes too. He was wearing his normal bat-like ensemble. The thought didn't last long, because his face was more livid then I'd ever seen.

"Miss Zabini," he seethed dangerously. "Do you have _any_ idea what time it is?"

"Uh- I've got a pretty rough idea, yeah," I agreed. "Sterling is about to die in the hallway, I thought I should let you know."

I really hadn't meant for it to come out as snarky as it did. I think I was still in shock. Without waiting for a reply, I spun around and went sprinting back through the corridors. Arriving back in that hallway, I found Sterling in the same situation I left him in, now clawing at the ground and with silent tears of pain streaming down his face. I fell to my knees at his side, only to be pushed away by Snape. I fell on my ass, sitting there dumbly while Snape pulled out his wand. He started muttering incantations that I couldn't make out, moving his wand around Sterling's head.

I heard my own squeak of surprise when Sterling collapsed limply against the floor, unmoving and once again, very dead looking. "Go to Dumbledore's office," Snape instructed coldly.

"What? Why? Don't you know what time it is?" I asked, rather stupidly.

Snape shot me a look that could boil ice. "Go."

"Right. Dumbledore's office. Cool," I agreed, pushing myself upright and running off. As I ran, I pondered what was going to happen. What was I going to do when I got there? Why was I even going there in the first place? Did Dumbledore know I was coming? If not, isn't it bad to wake up the Headmaster of Hogwarts when it's almost three in the morning? What was happening? What's wrong with Sterling? What happens if Filch decides to pop out and start yelling at me? Is it my fault that Sterling got hurt?

At that last thought, I stopped dead. Wasn't it my fault? I mean, we had planned to meet specifically. If we hadn't, wouldn't Sterling be fine now? As these thoughts hit me, I was left without any air. Slowly, I fell to the ground in the middle of some random hallway, hyperventilating. I had no idea how long this lasted, but there was a sudden moment when air started flowing fresh and easily into my lungs. I looked around, finding none other then Professor Dumbledore standing over me, smiling brightly. His wand was pointed in my direction, so I guessed that he was the one who fixed my breathing issues.

"Good evening my dear! Or, good morning, if you'd so prefer. How are you?"

"Uh- spectacular," I mumbled, slowly getting to my feet. "How are you?"

"Oh, just wonderful, thanks for asking!" Dumbledore actually sounded like he was being serious, while I was just sarcastic. "Would you like to come to my office?"

Apparently he did know I was heading this way. "Sure," I agreed. I followed him only a little ways down the hall until he stopped in front of a large gargoyle.

"Ice mice!" Dumbledore announced cheerfully to the gargoyle. Instantly, it jumped aside, revealing a moving staircase. Dumbledore turned to me, smiling happily. "I do like those. Quite refreshing, and they cause the most delightful squeaking sound."

"Yeah, I tricked my brother into eating them once when we were little," I admitted, from lack of anything else to say. "He squeaked all through dinner. My mother got really mad," I finished quickly. Dumbledore laughed genuinely, directing me up the stairs and to a huge oak door. It swung open, apparently without any assistance. The office behind it was huge and circular, lined with strange objects that hissed and whirled quietly. Dumbledore pointed to some chairs in front of his desk, indicating that I sit in one of them. I sat in the one closer to the door, mostly because it was the first one I came to.

"So! I hear you found Mr. Emerillon," he began, sitting in his chair across the desk from me.

"Yeah. Is he okay?" I asked instantly. He seemed to be pretty well informed on this matter already, may as well ask, right?

"I believe he will be just fine, if you clear up a few things," Dumbledore assured me pleasantly. "May I ask why you were out so late?"

"Uh- I couldn't sleep. I was just walking," I blurted before I could actually think. What can I say? I'm a Slytherin, my first instinct is to lie. Sue me.

Dumbledore obviously saw right through this. He sighed, still looked somewhat jovial, but seriousness could be seen beneath the expression. "Alexandra. I don't enjoy using legilimency on students because they are lying, but that doesn't mean I won't use it if I have to," he said evenly.

"Right. Sorry," I bit my tongue for a moment. Distantly, I wondered what the hell 'legilimency' was. I didn't ask, as this situation was probably much more important. "Sterling told me to meet him at 2:30. Nobody else knew about it, or at least nobody was _supposed_ to know about it. He said he had something to tell me. He was pretty nervous about it, I was curious. So I agreed. He didn't show up, so I was wandering around trying to find him. I saw this weird shadow, so I investigated, and found him."

"What did you do?" Dumbledore prodded.

"Well, first I freaked out, cause he looked like he was dead. Then I tried to wake him up. You know; 'Rennervate'. Nothing happened for awhile, then he started having this attack. It was really horrifying, he was obviously in pain. I went and woke up Professor Snape, who sent me here. And...here I am," I finished lamely.

"Splendid!" Dumbledore looked rather enthusiastic once again. I knew I had an incredulous expression on my face. How could this be a good thing? He sounded like this was the most fun he'd experienced in weeks. "Please Alexandra, no need to worry. If I'm guessing correctly, which is usually the case, Mr. Emerillon will be just fine. Would you like some tea?" he asked abruptly, conjuring a platter with teacups on it before I could even blink.

"Oh, um, no, I'm alright," I waved my hand slightly.

"Very well," Dumbledore sighed. He picked up his own cup, sipping from it lightly. "I'm very partial to pear flavored tea myself, have you ever tried it?"

I shook my head slowly. What did this have to do with anything? Dumbledore glanced pointedly at the tray. I suppressed any sort of deriding expressions or comments, giving in and picking up the teacup. As I looked at it, I had a brief flash of wondering whether it had anything in it that _wasn't_ tea. Then, I decided that if I could't trust the Headmaster, we were all screwed. It helped that Dumbledore was looking quite content to drink from his own cup, looking off towards his office window. So, I drank the tea. It did indeed, taste remarkably like pears.

In my opinion, the next few minutes were some of the most awkward minutes of my life. I doubted Dumbledore felt the same way, as he was apparently completely at ease to hum quietly to himself and watch the window. I figured that we were waiting for something, but no ideas to what that could be popped to mind. Probably something about Sterling. What was there to wait for? And why did we have to wait here?

My brain whirling with questions and far off somewhere else, I jumped when Dumbledore suddenly spoke. "Ah!" he exclaimed, pointing to the window. "Look!"

I looked, finding a large bird flying towards the window. It was colored with beautiful reds and oranges, it's wings long and majestic. Dumbledore flicked his wand, making his office window slide open. Cold air blew in with the bird, making me suppress a light shiver. The cold breeze reminded me that I was still wearing that tank top. I didn't care, as I was much more interested in the animal now sitting on Dumbledore's desk.

"That's- that's a phoenix!" I exclaimed, as if he didn't already know.

"It is!" Dumbledore agreed happily. "This is Fawkes," he gestured to the bird, who gave a quiet song note in reply.

"He's amazing," I murmured, leaning forward to look at Fawkes closely. The phoenix hopped across the desk closer to me, leaving Dumbledore to read the letter that was delivered. I held out an arm, inviting Fawkes to jump on. Surprisingly he did, ruffling up his feathers and cocking his head to look at me curiously. He was a beautiful bird, and I told him so in very quiet murmurs as I stroked his head.

"Well, it looks like he's taken a liking to you," Dumbledore said, smiling as he looked at me.

"I love animals," I admitted simply.

Dumbledore nodded, watching me for another moment before gesturing to the letter that Fawkes had dropped. "It seems like Mr. Emerillon will be just fine. He will remain here for the night and be transferred to St. Mungo's tomorrow morning."

"St. Mungo's?" I half yelled, gaping at him. Fawkes seemed to understand my sudden frantic need to move my arm, so he hopped off his perch and back onto the desk. "Why?"

"My best guess would be because of Dark Magic," Dumbledore mused thoughtfully. He looked as if this was no big deal.

"So there's some person shooting Dark Magic around somewhere in the school, and you don't seem to care?" I exploded, slamming my hands onto the armrests of the chair.

"I believe there is more then one person 'shooting Dark Magic around'," Dumbledore quoted me. "Two people, if I'm not mistaken. Possibly three. Maybe four."

"_What?_" I breathed angrily, fighting the urge to get to my feet. "What if it's five? Or six? Maybe seven, if we're counting that other thing. Or eight, if you want to be specific," I sneered, unable to help myself from mocking him now. Dumbledore just looked at me evenly. "Hell, there might actually be a group of Death Eaters roaming the castle! But that's alright, cause you kinda sorta know how many there are."

"I assure you, there _are_ Death Eaters in this castle," Dumbledore said simply.

"Oh good. I was beginning to worry about my safety," I grumbled, slumping in my seat and glaring at my knees.

Dumbledore, for god knows what reason, was smiling happily. "This is a wonderful thing Alexandra," he assured me pointedly. "You're apparently not inclined in the slightest to follow in the direction of your house stereotype. Forgive me, but Slytherin house _is_ notorious for their Death Eaters, as much as I hate to put labels on any group of surely wonderful people."

"Yeah, my house is full of evil ones," I rolled my eyes. "Of course I don't want to be a Death Eater! I've spent enough time in Malfoy Manor to put me off that course _forever_. My family's place isn't all that innocent either," I crossed my arms tightly across my chest.

"Malfoy Manor?" Dumbledore questioned abruptly, suddenly sounding completely serious.

I cursed myself inwardly for saying anything, then shook my head. "I'm sorry sir, I can't answer that. I'm loyal to my family and my family's associates before anyone else. If you need to know, go ahead and drug me or whatever you do to find out the truth. I can't and won't tell you willingly."

He was smiling again now, looking at me closely. I felt like I was being x-rayed. Finally, Dumbledore laughed. "I expect we'll be seeing each other quite soon," he said happily. I tried not to feel uneasy at this statement. What, I didn't want to be a Death Eater, so Dumbledore decided I was going to be his pawn? I didn't voice any of that, just sitting there. "I should think you can go see Mr. Emerillon now, if you would like. I believe he will be awake," he pointed me out of his office.

I didn't need telling twice. "Thank you sir," I mumbled politely. With that, I got up and hurried from the office, trying to make it look like I wasn't rushing on purpose. Once I got off the moving staircase, I broke out into a run, heading down to the Ground Floor and rushing into the hospital wing. Somebody must've informed Pomfrey on what was going on, because she didn't look at all surprised to see me.

"He's back there," she pointed me to some curtains. "Don't be surprised, his condition is completely temporary," she looked very sympathetic as she looked in that direction. _What did she mean by that_? I rushed over to the curtains, pushing them aside to get at Sterling's bed. What I saw literally brought tears to my eyes. He lay, staring up blankly at the ceiling. His hands were tied down, and I guessed his feet were too. As I sat down, he jerked violently, trying to move.

"Sterling," I mumbled hoarsely, putting a hand lightly on his arm. He looked around at me, eyes crazed and clouded with something frightening and unidentifiable.

"Who's that?" he asked dully. His eyes rolled, and he started jerking again. I wondered if he was still in pain. I felt tears rolling down my face, and I wiped at them with my hands. They just kept falling.

I couldn't bring myself to move.

So there I remained, sitting at Sterling's bedside, crying silently while he convulsed spasmodically on the bed.

* * *

**HAH! Heyy this is kind of a cliffhanger! Not really though...I don't know... Well? Poor Sterling! What do you guys think? Things are getting interesting, no?**

**Chapter 12 _might_ be added sooner if you guys wish hard enough and maybe send me a few fantastical reviews? (A not so subtle begging attempt...) Don't you guys love how Fan Fiction is making reviewing easier with that nice large comment box? I think it's really funny actually...**

**Love to all my wonderful readers :)**


	12. Halloween

**SINCE you guys are so freaking awesome, here's chapter 12! A day early! Aren't you excited? :) I'd say that you don't have to wonder about Sterling anymore, but I'd be lying :) This doesn't really clear anything up. YET!**

**Anyway, I do want to admit to one thing. I'm FREAKING OUT over this chapter. It's like a 'point to no return' type of chapter. Some _interesting things_ are going to happen! Please, I really want to hear what you guys think of the end of this chapter, because I've literally changed everything that happens in this chapter uncountable times...**

**Anyway, I've now been promised pasties, so I gotta leave you to read chapter 12 now! Enjoy!**

* * *

I was pretty sure I stayed there for the remainder of the night. I wasn't positive, as time meant absolutely nothing to me. I had stopped crying after awhile, just sitting there as Sterling yelled and twitched endlessly. He showed no signs of stopping. He looked damaged beyond repair. I guess Pomfrey took pity on me, because she didn't object to me remaining there next to him. The only thing that tipped me off that time was indeed passing was the sun rising. Weak rays of light shined into the hospital, even more reflected then usual by the fresh snow on the ground.

Good thing it was Sunday.

Sterling had noticed me again. He'd done this periodically throughout the night. He'd suddenly realize that I was sitting here, and start yelling that he didn't know who I was and wanted me to get away from him. "Who the hell _is_ this person?" he was screaming at the room. "Get the fuck out of here," he snarled at me.

"I'm sorry Sterling," I muttered, leaning away from him into the chair. I hid my face behind my hands as he started shouting, unable to watch him. Every word killed me a little bit more inside. The knowledge that he had no idea who I was, he didn't even know who _he _was.

"Stop calling me that," he snapped angrily, pausing in his shouting as if he just realized what I'd said.

"What do you want me to call you?" I asked weakly, unable to uncover my face and look at him. In reply, I heard Sterling continue to thrash around, trying his damned best to get free.

"Morning dear," Pomfrey arrived, looking at me with obvious pity in her face. "The St. Mungo's healers will be arriving soon, would you like to just go down to breakfast? It should be starting soon."

"Nah," I mumbled, rubbing at my eyes. "I'll stick around until they take him," I told her in a monotone. Pomfrey nodded before she disappeared again, back around the curtain. I looked back at Sterling, who was now in one of his moments that were relatively calm, staring blankly at whatever was above him. I wondered if he was seeing things.

It took the healers about another hour and a half to show up. They talked to Pomfrey for about twenty minutes, a conversation that was just background noise to me. I was starting to feel rather delirious. I hadn't really been getting a decent amount of sleep anyway, and to just miss a whole night probably wasn't the best idea. I didn't care though, the thought of leaving Sterling was unthinkable.

"Excuse me Miss, we'll be taking him now," a healer said gently to me, while her companions started to look over Sterling. He looked absolutely horrified at these new people, starting to thrash again. As he got picked up on a newly conjured stretcher, Sterling started yelling again.

"No! You can't take me, this isn't right, you're going to put me away, NO!" he screamed all the way down the hospital wing hallway, with a desperate voice that only made me start to cry again. My exhaustion really didn't help with my crying triggers either. For some reason, I stood up, tripping after the group of people and Sterling's stretcher as they all filed from the infirmary.

At the doorway, I was already having trouble standing up straight. I slumped against the door jam, watching the healers make their way through the gathered crowd of students. Everything was blurry, I couldn't make out anybody's faces. I did hear murmuring and whispers, I wondered vaguely what was being said.

I didn't wonder for very long, because blackness started to close over my eyes. The room spun, and I felt myself falling from my precariously propped position. The last thing I remember was something hard and warm against my side. Then, everything was gone.

•••

I woke up to the view of my own bedroom. I glanced down, only finding an arm draped securely over my waist. "Draco!" I exclaimed incredulously. I had half a mind to resort back to last names, as this was definitely _not _an okay thing.

"Don't freak out," he said calmly into my ear. His voice was wonderfully husky, and I hated myself for thinking it. I ignored the feeling of warmth that had nothing to do with my actual body temperature, instead trying to struggle against his grip. His arms just tightened, barely allowing me to move at all. "That's freaking out," he reminded me.

"Damn right," I huffed.

"You seem to be making passing out on me a normal occurrence," he ignored my tone, speaking as if we were just talking regularly. "Except a majority of the school watched me carry you to the dungeons this time. Which was about ten minutes ago, so you're not allowed to move yet."

"And why's that?" I demanded scathingly, still attempting to push myself out of his arms.

"You're blue from cold. Honestly Alexa, don't you notice when your hands turn white?" he grabbed one as proof, holding my own hand up to my face. It was indeed, pale with chill. Which was actually worrisome, as my skin was darker then most to begin with. "You can't just sit in a cold hospital wing all night in a tank top," he lectured.

"What are you, my mother?"

"No, but I am the guy who cares enough about you to come find you when I realized you hadn't slept in your room."

"How'd you figure that?" I asked, mostly out of my habit of being curious. Had he randomly come in here to check?

"Pokey," he mumbled, his tone obviously saying that he'd rather not tell me this.

"Did he speak to you?" I drawled sarcastically, still trying to surreptitiously free myself. Draco's arms only tightened further. He apparently wasn't about to be fooled.

"That animal loves you too damned much," he grumbled. "He was all but having a heart attack when I got up this morning, running around in circles outside your door. Lucas was howling too, so I checked. You weren't here."

It was thoughtful, in a weird, Draco Malfoy kind of way. He had actually noticed, which was saying something. I was more inclined to assume that he would've just ignored the animals and continued on with his life. But he'd checked. It wasn't until that moment that my brain caught up with everything else. I had relaxed slightly, therefore his arms had loosened. Giving me the perfect opportunity to leap from the bed and go rolling across the room.

"No! This is still, completely not okay," I stood up again while I yelled in his direction, crossing my arms defiantly. As I did so, I realized what I was wearing. It was a sweatshirt, one that obviously wasn't mine, as it was a few sizes to big. It was Draco's. I had an absurd urge to talk him into letting me keep it. My mental process really needs some work. My thoughts wander a bit too often.

"It was the first thing I found," he explained, watching me notice the garment. He looked exasperated at my escape, but had surrendered his task of trying to make me calm down.

"Really?" I snorted doubtfully. However, I made no move to take it off.

"Alexa?" he asked after a minute.

"What?" I grumbled.

"Can I ask you to do something? As a friend? Not a 'trial' friend, or any of that shit. As a real friend that cares for your well-being."

I turned my head to look at him. My anger was already gone. How could I stay angry at him when he asked me a question like that? "Sure. I won't guarantee that I'll do it."

"I know," he sounded truly upset about that fact. I waited. After a pause, Draco took a breath. "Don't go to the Halloween party," he said seriously. "Or, go to the Halloween party if you have to, just don't go with Nott."

There it was again. The ridiculous warnings. Warnings that apparently had reason, though I wasn't allowed to know the reason. A reason that everyone around me apparently knows anyway. It was a warning that I wanted so badly to trust, yet something that I couldn't even begin to put into action. I couldn't just rebuff Theodore for no apparent reason. I also couldn't just ignore the fact that this kept coming up.

"Tell me the reason," I demanded bluntly. Draco, still lying on his back in my bed, just looked at me cooly.

"You know I can't," he reminded me.

"Actually, I don't really know that," I reminded him. "That's what _you_ say. I don't see why you can't tell me. Right here, right now. Nobody's listening."

"Walls have ears," he said coldly. I glared at him as he stood up swiftly, standing in front of me. "I told you that you would find out soon, I meant it. I'd just rather keep it from you for a little while longer."

"Why? Because I'm a girl who can't handle the truth? Not allowed to run with the big boys? Would I not be able to comprehend this big secret that you're all keeping from me?"

"No," he dropped the word like it was ice, letting it freeze the air around this conversation. A shudder ripped through my body at his tone. I'd never heard him so serious, so grave. Truthfully, I felt the need to recoil from him. He suddenly looked much older. I, on the other hand, felt no older then five.

"What then?" I asked, unable to keep my voice at it's furious tone it had been at. All I managed was some normal volumed question, which sounded almost desperate to my own ears.

Draco's gaze raked over me, not even bothering to hide it. I wasn't sure what he could be looking at, considering that I was still wearing baggy track pants, his oversized sweatshirt, and my hair was undoubtedly some untamed mess. "I don't want to be the one to take this from you," he finally said, gesturing lamely with one hand towards me.

"Gonna have to be a little bit more specific there buddy," I informed him, rolling my eyes.

"You're so unbearably innocent. Don't argue with me, it's true, even if you don't think so. You're so completely yourself. You're too fucking happy all the time. Your naiveté is literally painful for me. I won't be the one to steal that from you. Not now, anyway."

It felt like an offensive statement. I also had the most insane urge to jump him right there. Probably not the best course of action. I wasn't even sure what suddenly spurred such an idea. Maybe it was because he actually seemed to be in pain while he spoke. His fists and jaw were clenched tighter then I thought possible, his eyes were hard and reserved, he literally looked to be on the verge of exploding. Even through all that, I recognized his attempt at telling me that he was trying to protect me. I should've been thankful.

I tried to appreciate it. I tried to understand. "Look, Draco. I'm not just going to take your word for this, I'm sorry. You're telling me not to trust Theodore, but you're also telling me to blindly trust you. I can't do that."

"Goddamn it Alexa," he took a step closer to me. I remained where I was, fighting every nerve ending in my body that was screaming at me to get away from him. "This is for your own good. I'll forbid it, if I have to."

Okay, now I was actually mad.

"Excuse me?" I tilted my head, feigning deafness. "Did you just say 'forbid'? Let's get one thing straight, Malfoy. You will not 'forbid' me to do anything. You don't own me, you have no control over my actions, no matter how high and mighty you think you are. Just because you're a Malfoy, doesn't mean you rule the fucking world."

"We're back to last names now? Well, Zabini, you better start acting your age, and fast. Or you'll start causing problems that _I_ have to clean up. You're more trouble then you're worth. It's about time you realized that and actually started to think once or twice before you blindly cause chaos."

I knew my mouth was open slightly. I snapped it closed, refusing to show him any sign of weakness. "I never should've trusted you. I never should've met you at the lake. I never should've been your friend. You'll never change Malfoy, you're still the disgusting ferret that I've hated all my life."

"Look-" he started, but I didn't let him finish.

"Get out of here Malfoy. Take your stupid shirt," I pulled the garment over my head, throwing it at him. He caught it awkwardly, letting it fall limp in one hand. "Get out," I pointed towards the door.

"You can't-"

"Get. Out," I enunciated firmly, continuing to point at the door. He continued looking at me for another moment, then he silently left the room. I shut my eyes tightly, willing the thoughts in my head to shut up. In that moment, when he wasn't there and I was left alone, I realized one thing. One monumental realization that was probably going to change my life.

I didn't really want him to be gone.

Shit.

•••

Three days passed.

Three days where I completely ignored Draco Malfoy's existence, and he completely ignored mine.

They were probably some of the most painful days of my life.

I wasn't even sure why. It was like we'd been last year, glaring at each other whenever we happened to make eye contact, but otherwise steering completely clear of each other. It was as if the beginning of this year didn't happen. I should've been thrilled. This was as normal as my life had been for awhile. And yet, it was the farthest from what I wanted it to be.

Rae, bless her and curse her all at once, was thrilled. "This is good!" she insisted while I slumped in my chair during Potions. Draco had just sent me another scathing glare, only because I'd accidentally brushed his arm when he got up to get something from the storeroom.

"Yeah? Says who?" I mumbled, stabbing at the sopophorous bean while it jumped around the table away from my knife. I just ended up making rather violent looking gashes in the tabletop.

"You need to get over this," Rae insisted, talking quickly as Draco started to return to his seat. Also, Theodore was sitting behind us, so she lowered her voice even further. "Go back to being normal. It'll be alright, you'll see," she seemed all to happy about this development, adding a little too much moondew to her own potion. This caused bright light to start shooting around the classroom, making most of the class shield their eyes from the blinding illumination of the dank classroom.

On the other hand, Hermione was surprisingly distressed by my avoidance of Draco.

"You miss him," she insisted firmly. I ignored her, pointedly flipping through a couple pages of _The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6_. Hermione reached forward, yanking the textbook from me and slamming it shut. "Listen to me," she implored.

"What do you want me to do about it?" I demanded, fed up with all of this.

Hermione shrugged. "Talk to him? That's usually a good place to start."

"You're mocking me, aren't you?" I huffed. She grinned.

I snatched the textbook away from her, returning to the page I hadn't really been reading. "Have _you_ ever tried to just 'talk' to Draco Malfoy? It's not the easiest of tasks. I'd rather insult a Hippogriff," I smirked slightly, unable to think of the creatures without remembering Third Year. One of Draco's more girlish moments. I'd made fun of him for months.

"That look," Hermione pointed simply at my face. "That one, right there, is what makes this so obvious. You _miss_ him, even if it's just arguing with him. Look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong."

"No," I muttered. "I'm not the one at fault here, he thinks he's too grand for his own good. If he misses _me,_ then I'd rather let him suffer then go to him and embarrass myself. Especially if he just couldn't care less."

"He likes talking to you," Hermione mumbled.

"Oh yeah, cause you've had deep meaningful discussions with Draco about his and my 'sort of' friendship," I rolled my eyes.

"No," Hermione looked unfazed at my sarcastic tone. "I watch. I observe. I see you both at the Slytherin table. He actually looks partially human when you talk to him. You haven't noticed?" I said nothing, just looking at her blankly. Hermione shrugged, leaving me to brood in my thoughts while she buried her nose in another book.

Oh yeah, I still called him Draco too. If that wasn't already obvious. I continued to think of him as Draco as well, which was weird. I just couldn't make the switch back to Malfoy. It was unnerving. It was also slightly humiliating how much I honestly thought about him. I noticed myself thinking about him, because I would chide myself for thinking of him as 'Draco' every time.

It was a vicious cycle.

The fourth day was October 31st. Halloween. The day that I'd been dreading for weeks now. It had finally arrived.

Yay.

Rae had kidnapped me early that morning, dragging me into her dormitory. I spent the day helping her with her angel costume, fixing the wings to look just right and determining whether she was giving enough 'angel-like' brightness. In the end, I had to admit that she looked stunning. She literally seemed to glow with every step. She had been right, she would definitely outshine my poor excuse for a costume

My costume?

Black pants. A wizarding hat that rivaled the best of Professor Dumbledore. And a t-shirt. A t-shirt which displayed in huge bold letters:

**No really. **

**I'm a wizard.**

Well. I thought it was a pretty spectacular costume. Rae tutted at me continuously as we walked to the Great Hall, to which I only laughed. Her irritation almost made this holiday worthwhile and entertaining. For that moment.

The Great Hall was seriously decked out. I was throughly impressed. The whole room was draped in black and orange, with carved pumpkins hanging in mid-air throughout the whole hall. Creepy and truthfully disturbing music seemed to just sit hauntingly in the air, as there was no visible source for the sound.

"Merlin, look just a _little_ cheerier," Rae grumbled, rolling her eyes as she looked over the drink table. "This is rather frightening," she concluded, turning away from the liquids. They all seemed to have taken on a rather unnatural color.

"It _is_ Halloween, they're supposed to be frightening," I reminded her, slumping down in a chair at one of the tables lining the side of the hall. "Why am I here again?"

"You're here because Theodore Nott is your sexy boyfriend," Rae scoffed, as if this was obvious.

_Oh. Right._ It's probably bad when I forget those things. "So where's your boyfriend then?" I quizzed her dully. Not that Blaise was officially her boyfriend or anything. I just enjoyed her glaring slightly in my direction, even though she blushed.

"They're probably all coming together," she decided, twirling restlessly on the spot. She apparently couldn't sit down. I looked up at her blankly. "Blaise, Theodore, and Malfoy? You know, the Slytherin gods? Surely your brain hasn't rotted that much. They're probably going to make some entrance or something," she jumped around spastically.

"Huh," I muttered, letting my gaze wander the Great Hall. A few people were dancing, which I had to respect them for. This music was all but impossible to find a beat to dance to. The majority of the people were just standing around, laughing, talking, eating, enjoying the holiday.

"I'm going to check out the food," Rae announced, alerting me back to where I was sitting. "Cheer up while I'm gone, would you? Try to enjoy a holiday, for once in your life," she actually looked pleading. I nodded, watching her skip away. I considered just continuing to sit there, but it made me feel even more melancholy. I couldn't believe that Draco, of all people, was the cause of my sulking. Yet here I was, slumped so far in the seat that my hat was now giving into its massive size, the point of it falling into my line of vision.

I sat up, rearranging the hat into a normal placement before actually getting up. I headed through the crowds of people, looking at costumes and listening to the snippets of conversation.

"...really? It's not too tight? I don't want him thinking I'm a slut or something..."

"...I dunno how vampires even exist mate, these fangs are uncomfortable..."

"...this zombie theme _really_ doesn't work for my hair..."

"...really hope this music picks up. So depressing..."

"...honestly though, does this Genie costume make me look fat?"

"Alexa!" my name was shouted through the crowd. I turned, finding Hermione sitting on a barstool against one of the drink tables, holding a glass of hot pink liquid. I sighed. Her company was better then just wandering around. I headed towards her, sitting in another barstool next to her.

"Hey Hermione. Nice costume," I grinned at her cat costume, complete with face paint and ears, paired with a black dress that left little to the imagination, as well as a long tail that she had draped over her lap.

"Ginny picked it out," she mumbled.

"I said it was nice," I shrugged. "What are you drinking?"

"Not sure," Hermione shrugged. "I liked the color."

"Sure you're a Gryffindor? You're acting quite scandalous," I mocked. I turned to the guy currently working the bar, who appeared to be a Seventh Year student who had nothing better to do. I mustered up my best flirtatious smile, looking up through my eyelashes at him. "Make me something...interesting. Alright?" I asked slyly. He seemed to fall for the fake flirting, stuttering for a minute at me until he managed to come up with an affirmative. Then, he wandered off to his drink making stock, face screwed up in concentration.

"Convincing," Hermione wasn't looking at me, scanning the crowd instead. Her voice was flat, obviously she saw right through my attempts.

"May as well give the guy something to fantasize about," I shrugged, putting no real emotion behind the words. "God I hate holidays. I want to leave."

"Leave then," Hermione shrugged.

"Rae would kill me," I said, accepting the electric blue drink from the guy. One taste reminded me of some sort of citrus. It wasn't half bad.

"I think she's alright," Hermione muttered, eyes fixed on one particular spot. I followed her gaze, finding Rae and my brother to be deep in conversation over a secluded table.

"Huh. Missed their entrance. At least that would've been something pretty to look at," I sighed. "Why are _you_ all surly? You're not supposed to be sitting here alone when you're dressed in a skin tight cat costume."

"I didn't bring a date," Hermione shrugged. "I came because Ginny made me."

I scoffed. "I can spot a lie Hermione," I called her out on it. "What's the real reason?" I asked. She looked at me. I wondered if she was debating actually confiding. "I'm all ears, really. You let me pour my heart out to you. I'm here to return the favor."

"Tell you later," Hermione mumbled. I was about to question why, but my drink was suddenly removed smoothly from my hand. I looked around, finding Theodore to be setting the drink on the bar behind me.

"What if I was drinking that?" I asked, forcing myself to smile at him.

"I'll get you another one," he assured me simply. "For now, would you like to accompany me? I apologize for being late," he gave me his crooked smirk as he held out his arm. I glanced at Hermione, who waved me off distantly.

"Alright," I took Theodore's arm. "I forgive you," I finally grinned genuinely.

"That's a relief," he pretended to be worried. I snorted, letting him pull me into a hug. "I think some of the teachers are offended by your costume," he murmured in my ear.

"Ah, but you'll still have me as your date, even in this offensive costume, right?" I asked, looking up at him with wide eyes. Theodore laughed once, pressing his lips to mine.

"I'd always have you as my date," he assured me quietly, breaking the kiss to whisper the words against my cheek. I wrapped my arms around his neck even tighter, bringing his lips back to mine. I tried to get out all my emotions into the one kiss, the result being a very deep and fiery embrace.

When we eventually broke apart, Theodore looked at me with raised eyebrows. I shrugged lamely. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize," he snorted, bringing our lips together again. He spun me around once we broke apart, making me laugh into his shoulder. I could forget, right? Just enjoy this moment and forget everything else that's going on. Yes, that was a perfect solution.

That is, until the spin ended. My new position had me looking over Theodore's shoulder, straight into the furious storm of gray eyes that was Draco Malfoy.

Of all things that I could've possibly done, I blushed. Just..._why_?

"You stole my drink," I reminded Theodore suddenly, anything to get away from that gaze.

"So I did," he agreed. "I'll get you another one later. For now, come with me?" he took my hand, face questioning. I frowned, knowing where this would probably lead. Which would probably entail me freaking out again. Though, if I forced myself not to care about the blond haired, gray eyed prat...

"Sure," I agreed before I could think any further. Theodore looked pleased, pulling me off towards the exit of the Great Hall. I wasn't sure what I was expecting. But it definitely wasn't for Theodore to suddenly yank me roughly down the hallway and throw me into the first classroom he found. "What the-" I stumbled, staying upright as I turned to stare at him.

He was frightening.

His eyes had morphed from their usual vivid green to a scary disaster of darkness. He didn't look like himself. Theodore, or whatever he'd become, leered at me, flicking his wand at the door. I heard locks click into place, and I was sure it couldn't be opened with a simple charm. I backed away from him, only to have Theodore grab me and shove me against a hard wall. I squeaked in surprise and pain, struggling to get free.

"Don't move," he growled. Even his voice sounded different. He was darker, more vicious animal then the normal, _human_, Theodore Nott. I gasped once his hand found my throat, holding me against the wall. I could barely breathe, I didn't dare move. His other hand explored my body harshly. I wanted nothing more then to kick him away, but there was nothing I could do. Every time I moved, even a little bit, his grip on my throat would tighten and his hand movements would get more and more uncomfortable.

"Theodore. No," I gasped, closing my eyes tightly once his hand ventured down into my pants.

He ignored me, completely overpowering my every inhale, exhale, or slight movement.

He was going to do whatever he wanted. I was left powerless to stop him.

* * *

**Hah. Now THAT'S my first major cliffhanger. Once again, I'm FREAKING OUT. Review? Anything? Tells me what you think!**

**Until chapter 13 :)**


	13. Snow Angels

**Hey guys. I was going to wait to update, but with a response like the ones I got from you all, how could I? Chapter 13, up and running here and now :) **

**I'm overwhelmed. Seriously, it's just freaking amazing how many Anonymous reviewers have popped out of the shadows and written to me. I'm dying over here, you guys are so fantastic, I have no words. THANK YOU, everyone, who loves this story and continue to send me such awesome reviews. I want to give a huge shout out to my Anonymous reviewers who send me such wonderful messages! To one, I hope that the turnout of Alexa and Theodore's scenario puts your mind at ease, because I do worry about the nine year olds who read this :) I'd hate to be the reason that they're scarred for life :D To another, I DO know who Ray Bradbury is! He is pretty fantastic :) Fahrenheit 451 was one of my all time favorite books when I was young (yeah, I read weird stuff as a kid :D ) And to a third, here's your shout out darling! You deserve it!**

**But speaking of Anonymous reviewers, I have one thing to get off my chest before we start. I really hope you guys will read this, it's really important. Above all I seriously hope that the reviewer in question will read this. I want to respond to the Anonymous reviewer who told me that they hated the 'damsel in distress rape cliche'. To you, reviewer, you said that you 'loved' the story, which I appreciate, despite the past tense. However, I do hope that you didn't just say that only to give up on the whole thing and not come back to read this next chapter, and much more importantly, my response. I genuinely wish that it was possible to reply to Anonymous reviewers, so I could've replied to you right away. But, such is life. I really want to assure you that I took into account the 'cliched' aspect of a rape, and I hoped that the cliffhanger wouldn't bring people to assumptions. Apparently I was wrong. As you will discover - if you're reading this and will continue to the chapter - I would never let Alexa get raped. I believe that a rape is not something that an author can just throw randomly into a story, I would only ever write a complete rape if I wanted to make the topic a big part of the story and I wanted to explore the idea and how it would affect my character. Once again, Alexa WILL NOT get raped. The scene that ended the last chapter I find completely necessary, as it introduces the real web of plot lines that this story will have. I also would never think of (much less consider writing) Alexa as a 'damsel in distress'. Anyway, I do want to assure you that I appreciate your honesty, it was probably something that I needed to hear. I always listen to reviewers, it is my ultimate goal to improve my writing. That still doesn't change the fact that I'm loyal to what happened in chapter 12. If you're giving this another chance, and you're still reading my long reply, I want to thank you for seeing past your hatred and giving this another shot. I hope that things to come aren't following your 'cliche' opinion, though if it does, I will apologize profusely for causing you to stop reading the story and I hope that you still retain at least one decent memory from it. I wish you a pleasant day and I genuinely wish that I didn't have to know that I lost a loyal reader over a rape that didn't even happen.**

**Though, in order to not sound like a bitch to one reviewer (which I'm SERIOUSLY trying to avoid, please, please, please believe me :D I love you alllll!), I also want to put in a little apology. If you didn't mean your review to sound so upset and freaking out, then I apologize for putting you and everyone else through the pain of this rant :) **

**I hope that was a decent reply...I also hope with all my heart that the reviewer in question read that. A written review of pure hatred was a real blow to me, but to people who are still loyal and love the story, I want to extend my complete gratitude to you. You guys really keep me writing, I'll never be able to say that enough. As I said, I'm loyal to what happened and I'm loyal to my story. I hope some of you will return that feeling, and will respect that I stand by everything I write. I thought long and hard about chapter 12, and it was a really big thing for me to post it for you guys. The second review I got being a letter of hatred, it's needless to say that I'm seriously doubting myself here. If it was any doubt, of course I'll keep posting and writing this story, so if you're still tuned in, thank you for suffering my words here and please enjoy chapter 13. **

**Thanks for listening :) **

* * *

I shut my eyes tightly. It was all I could do. That, and prepare for the worst. To top matters off _splendidly_, the phrase that I never wanted to admit to myself flashed through my head. It became all I could think about.

_I should've listened to Draco._

Yeah, this was probably going to top my 'Worst Holidays Ever' list.

I tried to call out. I wasn't sure why, I knew nobody would hear it. Maybe it's just a knee jerk reaction?The sound didn't last long anyway, because he covered my mouth with his other hand. At least it was off my throat now. This was just as painful, because he was pressing my head hard against the wall. I didn't dare look at him, keeping my eyes shut tightly. No way in hell I was about to open them again.

I thought about my wand. Having it oh so cleverly tucked into a hidden pocket on the inside of my shirt, I couldn't very well reach for it without him noticing. His arm was also pressing it into my ribcage, so even if I did get ahold of it, he would still feel it. This is what I get for finding somewhere 'clever' to put my wand. Lucky me.

I tried to think about tomorrow. Tomorrow, this would all be over. No matter what condition I was in, this would end by tomorrow. I wasn't about to die right here. It was a small consolation.

A loud _bang_ broke through the air. Splintering wood could be heard, and I heard shouting. Theodore's weight was suddenly thrown off me, leaving me to fall down the wall into a pile on the ground. I gasped for air, peeking through half open eyes to see the room. The door was blown off its hinges, now lying in a mess of broken chunks in the middle of the room. Theodore had apparently gotten yanked from me magically, as he was unconscious in the middle of a broken table across the room.

"You're a very angry person Severus. You know that, right?" a woman's voice said. The voice was very tragic sounding, like she really couldn't care less. I glanced around, finding the owner of the voice to be entering the room. Her hair was a mousy blonde, a color that made it look dirty. It hung in limp strands over her face. Her face was sunken and depressed looking. She probably looked worse then me.

"I see your morbid attitude has made you more observant," Snape replied. He was the last person I would've expected to be standing there. Yet there he was, remaining in the doorway as the woman went to look at Theodore's unconscious form. Neither of them looked at me while I shakily stood up. I was massively grateful for this, as my clothes really weren't in the most modest placement. I fixed them quickly. At least nothing was actually ripped, so I looked relatively normal once I was done.

"Wotcher," the woman greeted me unenthusiastically. "Name's Tonks."

"Um, hi," I replied, slightly confused by how upset she sounded. I glanced at Snape, who just shook his head minimally behind her back. Slowly, I picked up my hat, twisting restlessly in my hands. "W-what's going on?"

"You've got bad taste in men," Tonks replied dully. "Not that it's your fault. Didn't really have a choice, did you?"

"What?" I asked, feeling rather stupid.

"Ignore her, she has no concept of remaining _silent_," Snape hissed pointedly. Half of Tonks' hair suddenly turned a shade of dark red, but returned to blonde just as quickly. "I trust you're still able to comprehend what you need to accomplish," he continued, treating the odd transformation as if it was some normal occurrence.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Tonks sighed. "I'm going back there anyway, may as well have some company. At least I can talk to him without getting reprimanded for it," she glared at Snape before pulling out her own wand and pointing it at Theodore. He rose into the air. "I'll stay hidden, don't even say it," she grumbled. Snape looked at her through narrowed eyes while she left the room, Theodore floating along behind her.

"Well. That was weird," I mumbled, kicking at the floor with my foot. Not that this was awkward or anything. Pshaw.

"Are you injured in any way?" Snape asked, voice hard and business-like.

"Nothing terrible," I shook my head. "I'm fine. Uh- thanks."

"Come," he instructed, turning around and striding from the classroom. I didn't know what else to do, so I went after him. I stuffed the hat behind a tapestry, not wanting to carry them around anymore. Snape led me to the one place that I was sure I was about to keep visiting frequently now. Dumbledore's office. "Acid Pops," he grumbled at the gargoyle. I heard him mutter something about crazy old men and infernal passwords, but I pretended that I hadn't listened.

"You're here!" Dumbledore greeted us both enthusiastically once the stairway reached the office door. "Come in, come in!"

Inside the office, I perched in the seat that I had last time. Snape was standing next to Dumbledore's desk. "Tonks has gone back to headquarters," Snape informed the Headmaster.

"Splendid! Mr. Nott will be in good hands, I'm sure," Dumbledore smiled. "You my dear, are a wonderfully brave girl," he beamed at me now, bringing his hands together and gesturing towards me with the pair of them.

"Sorry sir, but I have no idea what's going on," I blurted. I hadn't actually meant to say it, but I couldn't hold in the curiosity anymore. I was almost raped by a possessed Theodore Nott. I think that deserved me some answers.

"Ah, but I do!" Dumbledore looked very pleased with himself. "You see, Mr. Nott has been under the Imperius Curse for quite awhile now, by none other then Lord Voldemort himself. You're being, shall we say, 'studied' by Voldemort. Some would consider it an honor," he was still smiling, as if this was a good thing.

"So...Voldemort stuck his hand down my pants?" I asked. I regretted saying it even while it was coming out of my mouth. I heard Snape audibly sigh, while Dumbledore just looked at me evenly.

There was a pause, where I just wanted to leave and forget this whole day even existed. Then, Dumbledore cleared his throat. "There is a plan in motion, I'm sure you've suspected it. I believe you got a letter from your mother, correct? One that summons you home for Christmas?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. "How do _you_ know that?"

"I have talked to your mother at great lengths Miss Zabini. While questions are apparently encouraged, your imprudence on this matter is not appreciated," Snape informed me.

"It's alright Severus. She is in _your_ house, I'd expect nothing less," Dumbledore interjected calmly. I smirked. It was a compliment and an insult all in one. Go Professor Dumbledore! Snape scowled.

"So, what's the plan that everyone seems to know about?" I asked, leaning back in the chair.

"You and twin brother are to be inducted into the Death Eater circle over Christmas, in order for you both to be convenient confidents for Draco Malfoy while he attempts to kill me," Dumbledore explained bluntly.

Well. _That's_ a sentence you don't hear every day.

Exerting my talent of _always_ coming up with the right reply, I raised my eyebrows. "Aren't people usually a little more worried when someone is trying to kill them?"

"I wouldn't know," Dumbledore chuckled at my response. "I've never actually conversed with anyone who is aware of their own death plots. If I ever find someone, I'll be sure to ask," he assured me jovially.

"That's good," I nodded slowly. "I don't want to be a Death Eater."

"So you've said!" Dumbledore agreed. "Though, I'm assuming that you would like to assist us in Voldemort's downfall?"

"Of course," I nodded. "Wouldn't becoming a Death Eater be kind of counter-productive though?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "Lord Voldemort has some well thought out plans, but he's yet to master the art of hiding them well," he said seriously. "I'm suggesting that you become a spy for the Order of the Phoenix. Much like Professor Snape," he gestured to Snape, who was still standing next to the desk. "Us and select members of the Order would be the only ones to know, obviously. We have yet to be able to trust the loyalties of others. I do hope that this entire conversation and what is to come of it will remain a secret."

I nodded in an affirmative and understanding, focusing on Snape. "You're a spy?" I asked him incredulously. "What's the Order of the Phoenix?"

On second thought, those questions probably should've been asked in reverse order. Oh well.

"The Order of the Phoenix is a secret society, formed for the sole purpose of defeating Voldemort," Dumbledore explained simply. "Professor Snape has been a spy for nearly fifteen years."

"So, what do you want _me_ to do?"

"Nothing, yet," Dumbledore nodded. "You will go home over Christmas, you will take the Dark Mark. It is essential that Voldemort believes that his plan is foolproof. He must believe that he has already won. In order to do that, your family must become one of his most loyal. I do believe the Malfoy family is in need of a little bit of relaxation. Dealing with Voldemort can be quite stressful, I'm sure," he seemed to ponder the matter deeply.

"Whoa, whoa, _whoa_," I held up both my hands. "Just...stop right there. You're asking me to put everything I have on the line. My own life, my twin's life, Sailor's life, my whole family's name, _everything_ that I hold value in. Because of what? Your word? I'm just supposed to trust that you know what you're doing, sending me blindly into a group of dangerous Death Eaters? I'm supposed to just _willingly_ become your pawn in all this? I'm nobody's bargain tool."

"Alexandra, that is not what I'm asking of you-" Dumbledore tried to say calmly.

"Oh yes it is," I cut him off. I couldn't believe I was actually mouthing off to the Headmaster of Hogwarts, I was pretty much calling him a liar. I'm _really_ stating to question why people call me smart. Dumbledore glanced at Snape.

"She's in my house," Snape repeated the previous words, an actual smirk crossing his features. The expression was so brief, I wondered if I imagined it. Nope. It had been there. With a jolt, I recognized it as pride.

Dumbledore fixed me with a very even stare. It kind of creeped me out actually, as he appeared to be looking straight through me. "What would you rather do?" he asked, as if genuinely wondering if I had another solution for him. "Disobey your mother? Refuse Voldemort's plan to induct you into his Death Eaters? Turn your back on your whole family and become a traitor? Your brothers would be legally bound to never speak with you again. It is a very valid possibility that Draco Malfoy would be bidden to 'accidentally' kill you during his attempts to terminate my existence as well. Is that a better solution? If it is, you're welcome to leave now," he gestured openly towards his office door.

Well, when you put it _that_ way...

"I'm sorry sir. I didn't mean it like that," I mumbled, relaxing back in the chair again. "It's just a little much to suddenly be told that I'll be becoming a Death Eater in a month and a half."

"Understandable," Dumbledore agreed. "It is rather regrettable actually, that we couldn't get to Mr. Nott and Mr. Malfoy quicker. They were inducted over the summer, before we could talk to them about their options."

"Okay. Just, stop. Again. Sorry." I was sitting up again. "One, you _knew_ about Nott this whole time? As in, you've known that he was trying to, you know, 'rape me into the side of evil' since the year started? Or, since he came back, anyway."

"Yes," Dumbledore agreed. "I believe Mr. Emerillon was trying to warn you of such a fact as well. Hence his attack. He's beginning to recover nicely, I'm sure you've been wondering."

"_What?_" I felt the urge to stand up, but forced myself to remain sitting. "Sterling tried to warn me, while you all just sat back and watched? No warnings, no indication of any kind? You know, something along the lines of: 'your boyfriend is a fucking lunatic who's being possessed by Voldemort'? That would've been helpful, for future reference!"

"I did say this was all regrettable," Dumbledore said cooly, unfazed. "Poor planning, on all our parts. Please, continue."

"Great. Secondly, Draco _is_ a Death Eater? Officially? Like, the real deal, weirdo tattoo on his arm type thing? So that means that Potter isn't some arrogant prat who thinks all Slytherins are evil? Though, I have talked to him a couple times. He's alright, if you catch him at the right moment. When he's not inexplicably angry at everything," I trailed off. Probably not the best conclusion to that rant, but I was thinking aloud. Hey, what can I say? Sometimes the thoughts just spill out your mouth. Snape had smirked again. Apparently he agreed with my Harry Potter insults.

"Indeed," Dumbledore agreed. "As I've said, Mr. Malfoy has been given the task of ending my life. A punishment for his father, I'm sure. But Voldemort seems to have taken a liking to having underage wizards as his followers. Which is why he's picked you and Mr. Zabini as his next inducts."

Seems we'd made a full circle. "So, you want me to _actually_ be a secret spy for your Order thing, even though I'll go home over Christmas and get a Dark Mark. After that, you want me to just sit on my ass and wait for you to tell me to do something helpful?"

"I would've gone for a more cheerful recap, but that's the basic idea," Dumbledore agreed.

"Fantastic! Anything else? Want me to...I dunno...convince Potter to drop all this war crap and move to a peaceful South American beach?"

Dumbledore smiled at me. "Actually, there is some preparing we must do before you return home for Christmas. I assure you, it won't be pleasant, and there are some times we must meet in the middle of the night, due to other engagements and your schoolwork. Professor Snape will update you on such matters on a later date."

"Great!" I clapped my hands together with mock enthusiasm. Dumbledore continued to smile at me. I decided that he looked rather pitying. I closed my eyes for a moment, sighing heavily. This was the time to stop my cynicism. I was doing this for a good cause. I was helping. Everything would work out.

"I believe that's enough for tonight," Dumbledore decided. He had obviously seen my attempts to calm down. "Get some rest Alexandra, you've had quite a day."

Understatement of the year, but I appreciated the concern all the same.

I only nodded, taking the words as my cue to leave. I was glad that Snape didn't follow me. It meant that when I got back down the stairs, I could react in whatever way I wanted.

I chose to run.

And that's exactly what I did. I ran from that corridor, down all the flights of stairs until I reached the Ground Floor. I ran through the Quad, down the main hallway, and out of a side exit of the castle. I ended up in an open expanse of the grounds. To my right, the Quidditch pitch sat, dark and desolate. I stopped dead after awhile of running away from the castle, just standing in the middle of the unmarked surroundings. It was quite beautiful actually, with a thin layer of newly fallen snow covering the ground. Everything was white. It all seemed to sparkle in the darkness, leaving me slightly awe filled. It would've been a great moment, had I not been weighted down by everything that happened that night.

"You found out."

The voice came from a little ways behind me. It was the voice that I'd been desperate to hear, yet afraid of having to talk to. I whirled around, finding Draco Malfoy to be standing about ten yards away from me. He had worn a casual suit to the party, which he had since started to take apart. His tie was loosened, now hanging from his neck as if he'd accidentally put it there. For some reason, the look suited him. The suit jacket had been removed, now sitting over one shoulder and held there lazily by his fingers. His other hand was shoved into his pocket. The glistening snow seemed to reflect against every facet of his face, making his skin glow and his hair seem even more white platinum colored then usual.

"I guess," I agreed lamely.

"What happened?" His voice sounded indifferent, but I heard the true question behind it. I heard the concern, the hint of dejection that colored his words. He was worried. For me. The thought brought tears burning against my eyes, and I finally broke down. It had been a long time coming, and it finally happened.

"'ttellme – – SterlingwasattackedcauseIdon'tknowshit – 'snothingIcandotostopit – Dumbledorestillwon'ttellmeanythingand _you're a Death Eater_!" I probably only made the last four words mildly understandable. With that sad excuse for an explanation, I curled in on myself, starting my slow descent towards the ground. I didn't see him move, but Draco's hands were suddenly under my arms, pulling me firmly back into a standing position. I sagged against him, making strange choking sounds that weren't really crying, but nowhere near composure.

"You're okay, it's going to be okay," he was murmuring in my ear, over and over again. It was meaningless and I barely heard him, but it was comforting all the same. I hiccuped myself into a relative calm, finally standing on my own and facing him.

I couldn't form any more words. I was thinking too hard about Draco himself. How he looked at that moment, his facial expression, everything. I realized that Hermione was right. I missed him. It had only been four freaking days, and I missed him. I couldn't believe that it was actually true. But him standing there, only half looking at me while his eyes were actually directed towards the ground at my feet, proved the realization correct. He was part of my life now.

For some reason, the only logical response I had to my internal comprehension was to throw my arms around his neck. I was only really thinking clearly about hugging him anyway. Draco was surprised, I felt it in his slightly off-balance stance. He recovered quickly. I felt his arms wrap around my waist, holding me tightly against him.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into his neck. "I'm stupid and a horrible, horrible person, and you should probably just leave me here and never speak to me ever again cause I'm just one trouble after another. But I can't handle you being this mad at me, I didn't really mean what I said. I do want to be your friend, as ridiculous as that is. I'm really sorry Draco," I was rambling into his shoulder now, but I didn't care.

"Hey," he said firmly, leaning away from me to take my face in both his hands. His palms were warm against my cheekbones. "Shut up," he told me, almost smiling slightly as he said it. I let out a shaky laugh, nodding as much as I could with his hands on my face. Draco pressed his lips to my forehead, making me close my eyes in relief. "I'm sorry too," he muttered into my hair. "You're worth all the trouble you cause."

I huffed jokingly, shoving his chest. He fell back half a step, pretending to be wounded. "Hey. I'm not _that_ troublesome."

"Yeah you are," Draco assured me simply. "You're going to kill me, just wait."

"Not funny," I mumbled, leaning forward to rest my forehead on his shoulder.

I heard him chuckle as he ran a hand down my back. "T-shirt," he mumbled accusingly. "Here," he slung his coat over my shoulders. I raised my head off his shoulder, grinning in thanks before weaving my arms into the sleeves so it would stay put. I felt very small, as the sleeves covered my hands and the shoulders just sat boxlike around mine awkwardly. Draco snorted at the look.

"Won't you get cold?" I asked, ignoring his mocking. He shook his head, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I rested my head in the space between his neck and shoulder, looking off at the sparkling snow. We stood there in silence for awhile. At some point, Draco moved his hand so it ran soothingly through my hair. I lifted my head back off his shoulder to look at him. He looked right back, continuing to push hair away from my face.

"Do you want to try explaining again? Maybe a little slower?" he suggested.

I shrugged. "Dumbledore told me. About you, and Theodore. About the thing planned for Christmas. Snape knows too, he found Theodore trying to rape me-"

"_What_?" Draco's voice was literally a growl, his expression suddenly murderous. "Nott did _what_ to you?"

"He didn't _do_ anything to me, that's the point," I mumbled. "He got stopped just in time."

Draco's hand dropped from my hair, clenching into a fist at his side. "Where is Nott now?"

"Why?" I demanded. Draco wasn't listening anyway, already turning back for the castle. "Wait!" I cried, tripping after him.

"I'm going to kill him," he replied simply. I stopped trying to follow him, just standing there.

"He's gone!" I yelled after Draco's retreating figure. He stopped dead, looking over his shoulder. His eyes were still flashing dangerously.

"Gone?"

"Yeah, some woman came through and took him with her," I shrugged. "I dunno where."

Slowly, Draco returned to my side. "Did he hurt you?"

"Nothing lasting," I assured him.

"So he _did_ hurt you then?"

"Draco, come on. I've gotten worse injuries playing Quidditch. It's fine, _I'm_ fine."

He didn't look convinced, but the matter got dropped entirely. He just stood there, shoving his hands in his pockets. I turned, crossing my arms over my chest and looking out towards the Quidditch pitch. I could only see it through the darkness because of the snow, sitting around the hoops high in the air. It was weird to see the field, considering everything that was happening. How could something as mundane as Quidditch still exist? Somewhere in the distance, the Clock Tower began to peal, a sound that reverberated across the grounds.

"It's midnight," Draco informed me unnecessarily. "Halloween is over."

"Thank Merlin," I grumbled, crouching down to run my hands over the snow at my feet. "Do you get why I don't like holidays yet?"

"This is a little different, don't you think?" he nearly sounded amused. "You haven't gone through this _every_ Halloween."

"You're missing the point," I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see it.

"No, I'm being logical. Something you might want to try," he jibed obnoxiously.

"Prat," I huffed, flinging my freshly made snowball at him from my crouched position. It hit him square in the chest. "And that's why I'm the best Chaser you could ever hope for," I stuck my tongue out at him before leaping up and running away, making a wide arc around him and heading back towards the castle.

"You can't do that!" he yelled after me.

"I just did!" I hollered back, still running from him as fast as possible. I started laughing at his audible grumbling, unable to actually run properly when I kept giggling uncontrollably. Which is pretty much how I continued towards the lights of the castle, tripping over my own feet and cracking up. Over my own laughter, I didn't hear whatever he was doing. Which is why I yelped in surprise when his hands caught me around the waist, pulling me sideways into the snow. I grabbed ahold of his arms, causing us _both_ to go rolling in some awkward direction until we finally stopped, somewhere in an even darker part of the ground.

"I'm a Seeker," he reminded me. "Maybe you can throw, but I can catch."

"Nah, your legs are just longer then mine," I crossed my arms stubbornly. "This has nothing to do with your skill."

"So you admit that I have skill?"

"Not enough," I taunted simply, leaning back into the snow and throwing my arms out to either side. "Muggles call these 'snow angels'," I informed him, moving my arms up and down to demonstrate.

"That's absurd."

"Nah, it's true. Once, when mother was shopping – some random Muggle place – Blaise and I got bored, so we found this neighborhood to walk in. There were a bunch of kids in the middle of the road who were doing this. Blaise and I got into an argument of what they were doing, I forgot what we'd decided. We bet five galleons on it. I asked the kids, and they explained it to me. Apparently it's really common, they were really offended that we didn't know anything about snow angels," I sat up, glancing backwards at the shape of my head and arm movements.

"That is _not_ a snow angel," Draco claimed stubbornly.

"Then what is?" I challenged quickly. He frowned, an expression that I barely saw in the lighting. Without replying, he pulled his wand from his pocket, pointing it at some untouched snow that lay just in front of us. The whole area seemed to light up, then small pieces of the snow rose gracefully into the air. They changed shape as they started to move. Soon, the air around us was full of glowing little pieces of snow, swarming around. As a few flew right in front of my face, I saw that they were in the shape of little angels.

"These are snow angels," he claimed, no emotion his his voice. He sounded like he was just trying to prove his point. I smiled, watching the magically changed snow fly around in glowing patterns. I stuck a hand out, watching the little angels melt against my skin as soon as I touched them. I looked around at Draco, finding him watching me with an expression that I could only describe as fascination. I wondered why.

"You're kind of beautiful," I blurted at him. I wasn't even aware that I was going to say it. I blushed slightly, looking away from him. He looked completely taken aback. Hey, it was true. The light from his conjured snow angels made his face look completely smooth. His hair just seemed to glow, appearing to be whiter then the actual snow.

There was silence for a minute, then he sighed audibly, lowering his wand. The angels melted away in the air, leaving a strange glow in their wake. "Alexandra Zabini. You really shouldn't be able to surprise me anymore," he muttered. He wasn't looking at me. With that strange bit of communiqué, he stood up and headed back for the castle.

I sat there until the sun came up.

* * *

**It may be fluffy and cliche and too adorable for its own good, but I absolutely adore the ending to this chapter :) Anyway, I hope you all appreciated an early update, and I want to apologize again for my super long AN in the beginning...chapter 14 should appear soonish! Review for quicker updates? Maybe? Possibly? **

**Love you guys :)**


	14. A Swirl of Color

**I know, I'm a horrible person... *cowers in shame***

**It's been awhile, no? I'm so sorry! I've been so busy this past week, cause I'm hanging out with a friend of mine during our two weeks available time before we part ways for the remainder of the summer and everything. I know, I know, bad excuse. But have no fear, I'm here and posting chapter 14 for you guys! Excited? I am!**

**I won't babble on in an AN, cause I do that a little too often...it's an unhealthy habit of mine ;)**

**Continue on! Finally... :)**

* * *

When I finally returned to the common room the following morning, I found Draco waiting for me with a hard expression on his face. He was also sitting in my armchair.

"Uh, hi? You're in my chair," I informed him unnecessarily. He just looked at me. "Did you want this back?" I indicated his jacket that I was still wearing. He shrugged noncommittally. "Have you become a mute?"

He shook his head, sitting impossibly more upright in the chair. "I've got a question for you. You can't lie," he said stiffly. I nodded, confused. "You are aware that you told me last night that _Dumbledore_ told you about me."

_Shit_. I'm bad at keeping secrets.

Turns out, I'm a Slytherin for a reason. The lies came spilling out of my mouth simply. All I had to do was talk, and my subconscious took over the words. It was a weird feeling, but I didn't question it. "You honestly thought he wouldn't find out? He probably forced Snape to tell him, considering he's a sneaky old man who can't handle letting the Dark Lord have any plans that he doesn't know about. Anyway, who cares that you're a Death Eater? It's not like you're going to get confronted about it, or else Dumbledore would have to admit that he's got the Dark Lord's followers in his school. He knows about the Christmas plan too, and he's still trying to accept me as a perfect little impressionable student," I sneered automatically, pulling up my very practiced pureblood haughty expression. Apparently it does come in handy.

"But then he knows that I'm trying to kill him. Why bother trying now?" Draco looked completely pissed, running a hand agitatedly through his hair.

Quickly, I ran through the previous night's conversation in my head. Trying not to grin, I threw out a shocked expression. "You're trying to kill Dumbledore? _That's_ what the Dark Lord wants you to do?"

For a whole minute, Draco looked like he'd just been punched. His expression was one of complete horror, and he looked almost nauseous. "He- didn't tell you that?" he choked.

"No! But now _you've_ told me that, is that what you've been doing?" I demanded. It was considerably easier to play dumb.

"Not important. You're telling me that the old man knows nothing about what I'm doing?" he demanded harshly. "You're absolutely positive?"

"Yeah, he knows nothing," I waved that off. "What are you trying to do?"

"Yeah, because I can just tell you that," Draco snorted.

I really wanted to point out the obvious fact that he already told me, but I stopped myself. "Look, I'm apparently going to become a Death Eater over Christmas too, so I'm going to find out eventually. You may as well tell me now."

Suddenly, he looked on the verge of a mental breakdown. The appearance passed just as quickly as it had come. "How do I know you won't tell anyone?"

I scoffed loudly, sitting in his armchair. Hey, he was sitting in mine. I needed to retaliate somehow. "Who would I tell?"

"Rae, Blaise, Dumbledore, the mudblood that you're inexplicably friends with, and anyone _else_ in the school," he listed automatically.

"I wouldn't tell Rae, as she seems blissfully ignorant to all Death Eaters in general. Blaise is my brother, I don't really go looking to have random conversations about you with him. Dumbledore is a stupid old man who already knows too much. It's better to just let him figure these things out by himself. As for Hermione, don't call her a mudblood. I also hope you'd think better of me. Why would I ever tell any _Gryffindors_ about you, much less the brains of the Golden Trio? It would be less suicidal for you to walk around with your left arm in the air. Finally, who else would I tell? Are you expecting me to gather up a bunch of Hufflepuffs and go, 'hey guys, guess what Draco Malfoy is doing in his free time?' I honestly hope you consider me more intelligent then that."

He almost smiled. The expression didn't actually appear on his face, but I saw the idea of it pass across his eyes. "You did that on purpose."

"Did what?" I asked innocently, but smirked at him anyway.

And for the next hour, he explained his 'killing Albus Dumbledore' mission. I already knew the gist of everything he said, but it was nice to have it explained. It was even better that he was the one to explain it to me. He looked relieved throughout his whole explanation, as if he'd been wanting to say all of this for a long time.

"Thank you," I mumbled, once he fell silent again.

"For what?"

I shrugged. "Telling me," I replied simply. "Now come on. It's Friday, so we're the lucky ones who get double Herbology first. Wouldn't want to be late to _that_," I scoffed, shaking my head at such an idea. Draco almost smiled again, even though he didn't. I grinned for him, going to my room and throwing on my robes and grabbing my bag. I really needed a shower, considering that I'd been sitting outside in the snow all night. Oh well. It wasn't like Herbology was the cleanest activity. I could blame the smell on the murderous plants that we were working with. Yes, I plan ahead.

•••

Herbology ended only to see us all hurrying to Potions. Slughorn was as obnoxious as ever, so I spent the whole class having a contest with Rae to see how high we could get the flames underneath our cauldrons. I eventually lost when my potion blew up, covering the table in a light blue paste that had the consistency of body scrub. It was pretty disgusting.

"No wonder Blaise is in the Slug Club and I'm not," I mumbled to Rae as Slughorn looked disapprovingly in my direction. "I don't think he even knows my last name. Which is sad, because he definitely knows my _twin's_ last name."

"Talking about me again?" Blaise asked cheerfully from across the table.

"I'm not convinced you should consider that a good thing, but yeah," I grinned sweetly at him. Blaise grimaced.

Of course, class chose that moment to end. Leaving me to the task of cleaning up my blue sludge while everyone else filed from the classroom. Not that the task took me very long. Being a witch has its benefits. I purposefully made an effort of the cleaning through, aiming to linger behind everyone else.

"Aren't you coming?" Rae quizzed, frowning at my slowness.

"Yeah, go on ahead. I'll catch up," I waved them all off, starting to pack up my stuff. Soon, everyone was gone. I had that strange awkward moment of being left in the classroom with Slughorn, who just looked at me with a dim expression. I gave him a quick farewell before hurrying from the room. Instead of continuing towards lunch, I headed straight for Snape's office. I knew I had to update him on the situation, a notification that would ultimately reach Dumbledore. I had a small thought that he might be at lunch, but knocked on the office door anyway.

"Miss Zabini," he was apparently there, because he opened the door. His tone lacked emotion, but he seemed mildly curious at my unannounced appearance.

"Afternoon, professor," I greeted. "May I speak with you?"

As always, Snape's office was creepy and dank. I'd spent three whole detentions here over all my six years at Hogwarts, for my obvious troublemaking extravaganzas that just couldn't be ignored. I hadn't done much. Maybe he _does _favor Slytherins, just a little. "What is this about?" Snape asked instantly.

I decided to cut straight to it. "Draco is aware that Dumbledore knows about his Death Eater status. Accidental slip, my fault. He still believes that his actual mission is a secret."

Snape stared at me for a good three minutes. I fidgeted for about two and a half of those minutes, wanting to keep talking to fill the silence, but forcing myself to resist. "As...disappointing...as your lack of secret keeping seems to be, it is good that you informed me of this. It is also good that you've apparently managed to keep most of your cover. I will only warn you not to let this happen again. Am I understood?"

"Yes sir," I agreed quickly.

"Very well," Snape waved me back towards the exit. I was all to happy to get out of there, sighing in massive relief as I headed towards lunch.

•••

Tuesday, I was once again engrossed in Ancient Runes and Arithmancy homework somewhere in the back of the library. Hermione wasn't there, in fact, I'd barely spoken or seen her since Halloween. I wondered if she was avoiding me because of whatever she hadn't confessed.

This was one of the things that I really wished I had time to worry about. Instead, I had let it be, waiting for the later date when I could confront her about it. That time was looking like it wouldn't come until after the first Quidditch match, which Slytherin was playing against Gryffindor. It was the first match of the season, set to take place on the second weekend of this month.

I groaned in sudden realization, looking at the library clock. I was already three minutes late. I shoved everything into my bag, storing it in a corner before hurling out of the library and flying through the school at top speed, barreling into the Slytherin locker room and swearing loudly when I found it to be empty. Everyone was already on the field.

I went careening out of the locker room, not expecting the pitch to be so muddy. The snow had melted somewhat over the past few days, leaving the grounds either slippery from leftover ice or just wet and muddy. I almost slipped, but managed to stay upright as I walked towards the middle of the field. Distantly, I heard a whistle blow. The team landed around me seconds later, Draco ending up right in front of me.

"You're not changed," he finally said. I looked down at my clothes. I had actually sort of planned this out before hand, I was wearing suitable pants for practice. Heaving a sigh, I took off the decent shirt I was wearing, leaving behind a plain, black tank top.

"Says you," I muttered.

"You're late," Draco moved on.

"I got ambushed on the way down here. There's a pile of dead assassins in the castle now, its pretty gruesome actually," I said seriously.

"Sarcasm isn't appreciated," he shot at me.

"What sarcasm?"

He just shook his head with disapproval. I grinned at him, pretending to be sheepish. "Everyone, back in the air," Draco ordered, taking off without another word. I jumped on my own broom and kicked off, soaring at top speed into the air, passing Draco's slightly slower ascent in an instant. My speed caught him off guard, and he swerved slightly. I did a short flip in the air, looking down at him. "Sorry," I shrugged, before veering off to take my place in the center of the field.

Rae took her place on my right side, grinning at me as she did so. Qrquhart was acting as Sterling's replacement, for reasons that I couldn't fathom. It wasn't that he was bad with scoring or anything, he just wasn't all that great actually _flying_ on a broom. As much as I hated to admit it, my brother probably would've made a better replacement. I was really starting to question Draco's judgement as captain.

Our practices had been more eventful then usual these days, today was no different. This was due to the fact that it was now November, so we were closer then ever to our first match against Gryffindor. We switched around from Quaffle practice to Bludgers, practicing all response times. We finally released the Snitch after awhile, and played close to a real game, despite uneven player numbers. It wasn't until the middle of that game that something happened.

By that point it was raining in violent bucket loads, dumping over the pitch and leaving all of us soaked. I was flying a little more towards ground level, waiting for Rae to hit the Quaffle in my direction. It was a new tactic, to have me flying underneath everyone, unnoticed. Once we were at the goalposts, she would pass me the ball and I would score unexpectedly. Genius, no?

Anyway, on the ground, I had little to no visibility. Therefore I didn't see the sudden appearance of a huge dark mass flying towards me, carried by the wind. I noticed the shadow at the last minute, diving to avoid it. Turns out, I was so close to the ground that the handle of my broom collided into the mud, sinking a few feet down. I was thrown off the broom, skidding and rolling uncontrollably for what felt like years. It wasn't until something unbearably bone crushing caught me in the back that I finally stopped, lying face down and slightly curled in a ball in the mud.

"Alex!" a voice was in my ear and hands were on my shoulders, rolling me over. I coughed violently, turning to spit a mouthful of mud next to me. I was beyond the point of dizzy, and I felt the need to throw up. I tried to fight down this urge, unable to hold myself up as the hands tried to pull me into a sitting position. "Alexa! Fuck. Seriously, answer me! Say something," I finally recognized the voice to belong to Draco.

"Hate you," I choked, coughing up another lungful of mud. This was _fun. _The best way to spent a Tuesday. He actually laughed, though there was no humor in it. It was full of relief. He pulled me against his chest, supporting me until I could. I coughed up a few more mud gallons, feeling his hands against my mud covered hair as I did. "G'off," I finally mumbled, pushing myself upright again and out of his grip. Once I was upright, I stumbled. I was way to disoriented. Draco caught me, holding me up again.

"We're going to the locker room," he said firmly in my ear.

"Broom," I murmured.

"I got it. Come on," he supported most of my weight, guiding me to the locker room and into a sitting position on some smooth surface. "Don't pass out on me Alexa, just don't," Draco instructed.

"Why come?" I muttered. Bad grammar my ass.

"Because you've probably got a head injury," he stated. I realized my previous words had probably proved his point. Okay. Don't pass out. Sleeping wasn't passing out, was it? A sudden cascade of something wet started pouring over my head. I spluttered, spasming against the floor. He had put me in a shower. I coughed, watching the muddy water pool around me. At least it was warm water. I watched as the brown water started to mix with red, turning it a woody auburn.

"Uh oh," I murmured.

"Damn," Draco swore again. The water was suddenly gone, and something somewhat scratchy was being wiped gently across my face.

"Mmmph," I twisted away, trying to figure out what he was doing.

"Hold still. It's a towel," he instructed, holding my shoulder firmly. I let him, finding that it helped clear my vision. I could finally see almost normally again. I looked up into the face of Draco Malfoy, who was holding a now filthy and bloody towel. The rest of the team was standing behind him, soaked and sporting faces of identical horror. Did I look that awful?

"You're all wet," I told Draco, forcing my eyes to stay open. It was much easier to inform him of that fact rather then deal with anything else. He was, soaking. His blond hair had turned slightly brown from being so wet, and it was sticking up in all directions. His shirt and pants were covered in mud, probably because of me.

"And you need the hospital," he muttered, mostly to himself then to me. He seemed to think for a minute before looking determined. "I'm going for Madam Pomfrey. Don't pass out," he looked straight into my eyes as he said it. I think all I did was blink at him. He let out a sort of groan, turning to Rae expectantly.

"Yeah, I'll stay," I heard her agree. Sure enough, Rae was at my side, sitting down next to me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I watched Draco run from the locker room, leaving the rest of the team to just stare stupidly. "Get lost, the rest of you," Rae demanded. "You'll get in the way!"

They all followed her orders without question. I smiled, resting my head on Rae's shoulder. "You kick ass," I told her quietly.

"I know," she assured me. "You're not passing out, right?"

"Nope," I mumbled. I wasn't actually sure that was true, but whatever. I heard her talking, but the words had no meaning.

I tried to stay awake.

I really did.

I guess I didn't do so great, because I don't remember anyone coming back.

•••

I wasn't sure what actually woke me up. No lights were on in the hospital wing, the only illumination coming from moonlight streaming in through the windows above my head. It gave the place a dim glow. It could've been considered pretty, if it wasn't for the fact that this was a _hospital_.

I groaned quietly as I started to wake up further. I raised my hands to my head, clutching it as it pounded painfully in my skull. The movement took a sickening amount of effort, as everything seemed to hurt. Even my hair hurt. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing the pain to go away, or at least subside. I apparently didn't will quite hard enough, if anything the pain worsened. I let my hands fall back to my sides in defeat, squinting my eyes open again.

I nearly had a heart attack once I noticed that I wasn't alone.

"Draco!" I tried to scream, but my voice ended up sounding frail and awful. He glanced up once before returning his gaze to the swirls of color he was creating with his wand.

"Good to see you haven't died," he murmured, moving the color around lazily.

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?" I groaned, closing my eyes tightly again.

"Actually, your death would cause me quite a few hassles. I'd have to explain it to your brothers, your family, _my _family, and Snape would just love to interrogate me on how I managed to let a member of my Quiddich team die on my watch. So, I am honestly quite glad you're awake."

"Glad to see you're accepting your true affection for me," I huffed. "My head hurts," I knew it sounded like a pitiful whine, but I didn't care. It was getting worse by the second.

"I should think so. You got a pretty bad concussion. It was a tree, if you were wondering. The wind carried it onto the pitch. You dived at the perfect moment, it was really impressive actually. Good job. You were just too close to the ground. Your broom threw you off into the goalpost, which broke your back and a few ribs. Pomfrey fixed all the broken bones, but she says they were badly shattered. Your back is apparently in need of extensive mending, meaning that it'll be easily damaged for a couple weeks to come. She drilled me pretty hard, so consider yourself off the team for the next two weeks. We'll manage without you."

"What? The first match of the season is in _less_ then two weeks!" I tried to raise my voice again, but it continued to come out as a disgusting raspy sound.

"Which you will be _perfectly fine for_ if you don't exert yourself. So calm down," Draco looked at me pointedly before rolling his eyes. I slumped against the pillows, throwing an arm over my eyes. Even though the moonlight wasn't very bright, it may as well been the glaring sun with the effect it was having on my headache.

"Is there water or something?" I finally asked. I heard him get up and pour some liquid from a container across the room. He returned, placing the cup in my outstretched hand. I hummed in thanks, drinking the water in a few gulps. "My head still hurts," I muttered.

"Lie still," Draco surprised me by speaking softly, and his hands were on my arm that was draped over my face. He moved it to my side, and I looked at him. "Relax," he told my questioning expression. I sighed heavily, but did as he said. What else could I do?

"If you're about to do something unhelpful, I swear I'll hex you once I find my wand," I informed him, realizing then that I had no idea where it was.

"It's in this drawer," Draco tapped the closed drawer on the little bedside table. "Stop talking, I don't want to screw this up," he was focusing on his own wand, frowning in concentration.

"Very comforting," I sighed, watching the colorful lights start to flow out of his wand tip again. They didn't just sit in the air this time, but filled the area around my bed, sitting over me like a blanket. I could feel them against my face, they were sort of warm, yet cooling at the same time. I shut my eyes, feeling the light soak into me slowly. I felt suddenly calm and slightly drowsy. "Is that your way of drugging me?" I mumbled, unable to actually open my eyes again.

"How's your head?" he asked simply.

I considered. The headache was completely gone, and all I could think about was a nice sleep in this cozy embrace of light that I still felt twirling inside my chest. "Thanks," I breathed, trying to burrow into the pillow. I felt the hospital blanket get moved more securely over me.

"Sleep well Alexa," I heard him say, or maybe I imagined it. I probably _did_ imagine his lips against my forehead. I wasn't sure though, because I definitely remember some nice and unidentifiable tingling sensation lasting in that same spot before I fell asleep again.

•••

"Your life sucks."

"That was _really_ helpful Blaise, thank you," I grumbled, glaring at my twin before returning my gaze to the ceiling. It was the weekend now, and Pomfrey still hadn't let me out of the hospital. Blaise just grinned, tilting his chair back further. I had the serious urge to kick his foot off my bed, which was what he was using to balance himself on the two legs of his chair. I refrained, just as Rae laughed.

"It's kind of true," she agreed. She was sitting completely on my bed, her back at the foot of the bed and her feet stretched out towards me. She was half leaning on the little table that sat there. She was also pursuing through the random stuff people had been leaving me. It all consisted mostly of candy, some of it from people that I didn't even know. It was mildly unnerving.

"I can't _believe_ I'm missing Hogsmeade, just because Pomfrey is paranoid that I'll fall on my head and break my back again," I groaned loudly.

"Yeah, I'll just say it," Blaise agreed. I looked at him. "Your. Life. Sucks!" he repeated loudly.

"For the love of- just shut up!" I half yelled at him. "Why are you here again?"

"It's Hogsmeade day," he said simply. "You're inconveniencing me."

"Am I?" Sarcasm: noted.

"Yup," he popped the P loudly. "I'm _supposed_ to be on a date with your friend here, but she's insisted that visiting you first is much more important then yours truly. Imagine that."

"Blaise!" Rae reached over to swat at his foot. "Be nice to your sister."

"Yeah, be nice to me," I stuck my tongue out at him. "I'm the one with the nasty head injury."

"Good, then you won't remember that I was ever mean to you," Blaise grinned.

"You're impossible," I grumbled in his direction. I turned back to Rae, who was reading the back of a package of Jelly Slugs. After a moment, she ripped open the bag and popped one into her mouth. "Who are those even from?"

"Me!" she sang, grinning. "Don't worry, I'll get you better stuff from Honeydukes. Requests?"

"Nah, just whatever," I shrugged. "You don't really have to get me anything. I've got enough here to make myself sick. Twice."

"Pshaw," she waved her hand in my direction. "Early Christmas present, considering I _won't see you_," she gave an exaggerated pout. "It's a long time!"

"It'll seem longer," I mumbled. Blaise shot me a look, which I ignored. "You guys really don't have to stick around. I don't want to ruin your date. Go on, be happy teenagers," I gestured them towards the exit, flopping further into my pillows.

"You're sure?" Blaise asked. Oh yeah, _now_ he decides to care.

"Of course," I scoffed. "Who am I to stand, or lie here helplessly, between your long awaited date? Fly, be free!"

"Okay," Blaise stood up, holding out a hand to Rae. She took it, rounding the bed to stand next to him. I couldn't believe that I was internally admitting that they were really cute together. "Draco wanted me to pass along the message that he'd come by after his detention."

"To brighten my day?" I asked dryly, dripping sarcasm. "_Great_," I rolled my eyes exaggeratedly.

"Don't shoot the messenger," Blaise held up a free hand in defense. "See you later Lex."

"Bye Alex!" Rae called cheerfully as Blaise led her from the hospital wing.

Damn couples.

Oh well. In reality, this was giving me a prime opportunity to catch up on homework. I hadn't really realized how often Hermione and I had been working together, but now that she was apparently avoiding me, my Arithmancy and Runes homework load was crushing me. So that was how I spent the next few hours. Sitting there, cross-legged in the hospital bed, ignoring the disapproving clucks coming from Madam Pomfrey, and surrounding myself with papers and textbooks. I even had excessive amounts of candy to fuel my work drive. I should really get my back broken and my head whacked more often.

I was still going strong when the hospital doors flew open with violent crashes against each wall. It was a good thing that Pomfrey had stepped out to go eat lunch, or she would've had a panic attack. I was too far into my homework world to actually be surprised, but the sound made me look up vaguely. As if the whole world was slightly blurry, I watched Draco stride through the rows of beds and throw himself into the chair next to mine.

"Afternoon," he growled.

"Is it not a good one?" I mumbled, forcing myself to set down my quill and actually look at him. Slowly, the world refocused again.

"No," he huffed. "Besides the fact that McGonagall put me in detention for not finishing those idiotic assignments, which really had no worth anyway-"

"Which I offered to help you with," I cut in, rolling my eyes. "Which pretty much means 'do for you', considering all you do after class times is disappear mysteriously."

"Whatever," Draco waved his hand dismissively. "_Besides_ that fact, Potter just got back from Hogsmeade and is is accusing me of cursing Bell."

"Did you? How do you know he's accusing you? Bell got cursed?"

"Yeah, she did. I didn't mean to curse her," he muttered angrily, looking around the hospital warily. "The fucking plan didn't work. That's beside the point. I know because I listened to their conversation. I was nearby, it wasn't like I followed them or anything. Potter just can't get his nose out of places it doesn't belong," he fell heavily backwards into the chair.

"So, it's been a good day?" I asked sarcastically. Draco just glared at the bedsheets that were covering my feet. I let him brood, going back to the homework in front of me. We stayed like that for a good fifteen minutes, in a silence that I was very surprised _wasn't_ uncomfortable or awkward.

"What are you doing?" he finally asked stiffly, voice noticeably calmer, yet still radiating vexation.

"Homework," I sighed, sitting up straight and stretching, getting my back to crack and pop satisfyingly. Another thing that Pomfrey would have a panic attack over. "Runes. I have to translate this," I picked up one of the textbooks, pointing out an extensive and complicated paragraph.

"You're insane," he grumbled.

"Tell me about it," I agreed, dully flipping through pages of _Numerology and Grammatica_. "This book doesn't help at all, it's too big!" I insisted, holding the massive volume up as proof of this statement. "There's to many things to look at! Oh, hey," I had a sudden brain wave, clearing the bed of other papers and books, setting them in designated piles on the two other tables that I'd taken from the beds next to mine. Setting _Numerology and Grammatica_ in front of me, I picked up my wand from where it lay on the bedside table. "Geminio," I mumbled under my breath, tapping my wand firmly against the book. Instantly, a copy jumped into existence, now I was faced with two textbooks. "Magic is so freaking handy," I claimed happily, flipping both books to different pages.

"I think that's technically a crime," Draco said, sounding as if he couldn't care less.

"You can defend me in court so I'll win," I shrugged, now engrossed in a certain translation.

"The match is a week from now," he abruptly changed the subject. I went with it, only really half paying attention. In reality, I was desperate to finish all this homework.

"Yeah, are you gonna break me out of here before then?" I asked, gesturing vaguely to our surroundings.

"I'll think of something," I heard his smirk, glancing at him to confirm that is was indeed, planted characteristically across his features.

"I'm comforted, truly," I mumbled. He scoffed at my lack of enthusiasm, kicking his feet up so they rested at the end of my bed. He remained silent for awhile. In fact, it lasted so long that I actually looked over at him. "You're just...sitting there?"

"Wonderful observation," he drawled. "Yes, I'm just...sitting here," he mocked my pause.

"Why?"

He snorted, rolling his eyes towards the ceiling before looking at me again. "I thought you'd want the company. It gets dull in here all by yourself. I'll leave if you want me to," he shrugged.

"N-no," I stuttered, shocked that he was actually doing something considerate. "No, you can stay. If you want," I met his gaze awkwardly, feeling randomly self-conscious as I jerkily returned my attention to homework. He quietly laughed while I scratched out a few more translations, succeeding in making me flush. I'm sure he noticed. I was thankful that he didn't comment. We fell back into silence, where we stayed for an amount of time that I lost track of. Pomfrey broke it when she returned, but she quickly went to her office, returning the hospital wing to silent peace. In fact, it was only broken again by Rae's explosion inside.

"Alex! Hogsmeade is fucking _freezing_! The Three Broomsticks was packed full, it was ridiculous. Slughorn managed to find us though, and obsessed over Blaise and how he should join the Slug Club or whatever. Sickening, I tell you. Oh, and Katie Bell screams really loud," she gushed at top speed, flinging herself onto my bed in the same spot she'd vacated before. Happily, she tossed a shopping bag onto my homework. "Here!"

Blaise had followed her in a little more calmly, now standing next to Draco's chair. "Hey mate," he greeted, clapping his friend once on the shoulder. Draco nodded in acknowledgment, his face currently at a loss for any color after Rae's mention of Bell. "Hey Lex," Blaise continued, smirking at me.

"Hey guys," I greeted, saving Draco from any possible need to speak. "I'm guessing the date went well, considering that Rae's not breathing fire."

"Hilarious," Blaise mumbled. Rae, on the other hand, beamed widely and sent me a pointed look. Apparently she was ready to gush to me later.

I snorted, poking through the bag that Rae had thrown at me. "Ahh!" I exclaimed, picking up a small box and inspecting it closely. "This _isn't_ what I think it is."

"Told you it exists," Rae said smugly. "You owe me seven galleons."

"Which I will gladly pay you for _this_," I exclaimed happily, tucking the box back inside the bag. "Yay, chocolate," I grinned, pulling out the bar of Honeydukes best chocolate and tearing it open. "Eat," I demanded of Draco, breaking off a chunk and throwing it at his chest. He caught it awkwardly, still looking pale and distant. For good measure, I broke pieces off for Blaise and Rae, just to avoid strange looks and questions later.

"What's been going on here?" Rae asked, nibbling on her chocolate piece.

"Oh, you know. Saving the world, one Rune at a time," I gestured to the pile of textbook and paper in front of me.

"Good, good," Rae nodded. "When are they letting you out of this joint anyway?" she questioned. Her eyes were still burning with the need to obsess over her day.

"No clue. Nobody is around in the mornings, maybe I'll just sneak out," I pretended to joke, in truth shooting Rae a sideways pointed look. She was going to have to come to me and explain her growing infatuation. She gave a little nod, pretending to laugh at my fake joke. Neither of the guys noticed.

Oh yeah, Slytherin masterminds we be.

* * *

**Haha the thing that Rae brought was a super random inspiration bunny, I got it while watching HBP yet again and thinking about what could be going on behind the scenes. Worry not, the mysterious box will be revealed at the proper moment! It'll be really cute, I'll assure you of that now :)**

**Anyway, maybe a possible review is in your future? I want to give a quick shootout to my Anonymous reviewers, it's so cool to know I have hidden fans out there who occasionally peek their heads out and give me a wonderful letter of love :) Thank you to you all!**

**Until next chapter :)**


	15. Escaping the Hospital Wing

**Oh. My. Gosh. Can I obsess for a minute? I GOT MY 100TH REVIEW TODAY! And my 101st :) I want to send a HUGE SHOUTOUT to Mahalin21, who was my 100th reviewer :) Consider this chapter dedicated to you darling, you deserve it :)**

**Honestly guys, I'm overwhelmed by how devoted you are to me and my story. It's inspiring in every way, knowing that you all think I'm a good writer...it drives me to improving for you guys, I can't thank you all enough. I mean that.**

**Mm, on the topic of updating, I've gotten a couple questions about that...I apologize a billion times over for not sticking to the Monday/Wednesday/Friday thing, I've been falling behind slightly on the chapters...I'd hate to just leave you guys hanging for hugely long periods of time. So I'm thinking I might slow it down just a tad, only until my writing speed picks up again :) No worries though, this story is going to GO PLACES! I won't just vanish on you guys, I promise :D**

**Righto, I think that's it :)**

**Continue on!**

* * *

The following morning, Rae was sitting in the chair next to my bed. As she described her whole Hogsmeade day in detail, I could practically see the little pink hearts bubbling out of her ears. "...seriously Alex. It was fantastic, everything I thought it would be," she eventually finished, sighing as she rested her head on her palm. In truth, I'd only really listened to half. Not in a bad friend kind of way, I just tuned out the really unnecessary tidbits. It was truthfully disturbing to hear my own brother described so..._romantically_. Bleh.

"Has he actually kissed you yet?" I asked after a pause. Rae blushed, to which I snickered.

"Yeah," she admitted quietly. "Not during Hogsmeade or anything, it was last night. Before I went to bed," she grinned, and I watched her eyes defocus at the apparent memory.

"You're not going to...scar me or anything, right?" I cringed.

"No, I won't subject you to knowing in vivid detail how amazing a kisser your twin brother is," Rae sighed, rolling her eyes. "I've got a heart."

"Thank god," I smirked. Rae hit me lightly on the arm.

Pomfrey chose that moment to come bustling over. "How are we feeling this morning?" she asked, making me sit up and prodding at my back.

"Perfect!" I chirped, beaming widely at her. This had been my reply every time she asked, in hopes that she would let me out. Pomfrey obviously saw through all these attempts, because they had no impact on her. She just nodded, fussing over my bed like nurses do.

Rae surprised me by suddenly speaking up. "Madame Pomfrey, can Alex come down to breakfast with me? I was just about to go, and I'm sure she'd like to walk around and say hi to everyone," she suggested, her voice as sweet as I'd ever heard it. "I'll be sure to look after her, and we'll come right back here afterwards," she smiled at the matron, an expression that was mixed with the perfect amount of pleading and innocence.

Pomfrey sighed, looking back and forth from Rae to me. I copied Rae's pleading expression, making the nurse roll her eyes. "Alright. Don't be long," she waved us off.

"Genius!" I breathed under my breath to Rae as Pomfrey walked away again.

"Yeah, I'm great," Rae pretended to bask in invisible glory. "Let's go!"

We left the hospital wing, heading for the Great Hall. After we got a ways away, I started twirling around happily. Rae snorted, steering me away from running into a wall. "And..." I sang, drawing the word out extensively as we got closer and closer to breakfast. "I'm back," I finished abruptly, leaping into the Great Hall and spinning around to face Rae again. "In my _awesome _outfit," I grinned. While mostly everyone was dressed in their Hogwarts robes already, I was in my comfortable 'hospital' outfit of dark leggings and a vibrantly green zip-up hoodie. Yeah. Cool stuff.

Marcus Flint noticed me first, probably because he was sitting closest and on the other side of the table, causing him to be facing me. "You're alive," he stated, leering at my outfit.

I ignored his expression, continuing to grin. "Damn right I'm alive," I clapped my hands together once. "Can't get rid of me that easily, no matter how many of you people wish you could," I turned my gaze pointedly to Pansy Parkinson. She sat across from Flint, on the side of the table I was standing on. She turned around to sneer at me with disgust all over her horrifyingly pug-like face.

"You just _love_ bringing attention to yourself, don't you Zabini?" she affronted bitingly.

"Oh my- Parkinson! What's that?" I screamed in horror, pointing to her plate. She whipped around, an action that I took the opportunity to hit her in the back of the head with my elbow as I passed. "Oh, sorry, it was just that weird thing on your hand," I called back, continuing down the table.

"That was bad," Rae scolded me, but she was cracking up anyway.

"No it wasn't. It was perfectly deserved," I grinned, glancing back to see Parkinson examining her hand with a worried expression. I laughed again, skipping along down the table. Just to be obnoxious, I found a way to squeeze into the small space between Blaise and Draco, making them both jump and scoot apart minimally. "Morning boys," I said cheerfully, grabbing oatmeal and a biscuit.

"You out?" Blaise mumbled through a huge mouthful of toast.

"Ugh, and you say I'm disgusting," I made a face at him. "Nah, she just let me out for breakfast. Don't touch my back, my spine might explode or something," I rolled my eyes, pouring maple syrup over the oatmeal.

"Thanks to _someone's_ impressive persuasive skills," Rae tacked on pointedly, sitting on Blaise's other side.

"Yeah, give Rae all the credit," I smirked.

"Miss Zabini. I see you've finally managed to rejoin the school," Snape's voice was across the table, making me look up. He stood behind where Crabbe and Goyle were sitting across from us, looking as dense as ever.

"Good morning sir. Only for breakfast," I amended the statement.

Snape gave a curt nod. "Nevertheless, I have a delivery – regarding the events of Halloween. I suggest you read at your discretion," he swiftly handed me a roll of parchment, which I took and quickly stuffed in the pocket of my sweatshirt.

"Thanks," I nodded quickly. Snape scanned our section of the table with an emotionless expression, then turned swiftly and strode away.

"What happened on Halloween?" Blaise asked, sounding disinterested. Rae looked around as well. Neither of them knew_ anything_ that had gone on. I'd made up an excuse for Rae the day after the party, pretending that I'd _tried_ to tell her I was leaving, but she'd been too interested in Blaise. Which was probably true. She'd believed me quickly enough, blushing madly and changing the subject. My brother hadn't technically seen me at the party anyway, so I didn't have to make up excuses.

"Oh, you know. Animal sacrifices, magic gone wrong. The dead rose, everyone screamed, it was full of Halloween festivities. Everyone blames me. Can't imagine why," I shook my head and shrugged, taking a bite of the biscuit. Blaise scoffed, elbowing me jokingly before he turned to Rae. I continued eating breakfast, trying to ignore the sudden anger rolling off of Draco. I decided right there that he was sitting much too close to me. I tried to edge closer to my brother without anyone noticing.

"Oh, damn. Class starts in five," Rae suddenly exclaimed. "I'm gonna be late."

"Why?" I asked, glancing at her.

"Your head is more damaged then I thought," she rolled her eyes. "Pomfrey will be pissed if you don't get an escort back. Does she think you're going to faint in some unpopulated hallway where nobody will find you?"

I snorted. "Probably. We can hurry now, you'll probably only be a minute or so late."

"Nah, I've got Divination," Rae grimaced. "I'll be _really_ late."

"Sorry," I mumbled, feeling guilty as I started to get up. I got halfway out of the seat before a hand pulled me back down. I looked around at Draco, who was keeping his hand firmly on my arm.

"You go on Getzinger," he told Rae, nodding towards the exit. "I'll go with Alexa."

"Really?" Rae nearly shrieked. Draco raised his eyebrows at her enthusiasm before nodding an affirmative.

"She's gonna hug you," I murmured, only letting Draco hear. Sure enough, Rae threw her arms around Draco's shoulders happily, squeezing him with a strength that I could imagine was as tightly as she possibly could. Which, with Rae, is quite suffocating. Draco awkwardly patted her arm, looking horrified at the idea of being physically touched so suddenly by someone he barely considered an acquaintance.

"Thanks!" Rae squealed, releasing Draco, patting me on the head, and sprinting from the Great Hall.

"She forgot her bag," Blaise muttered, rolling his eyes. He picked up Rae's discarded bag of books, heading in a much calmer fashion out of the Great Hall.

"Didn't Rae used to have a free period on Mondays?" Draco asked, still looking taken aback and slightly upset. I looked at him incredulously. He shrugged. "You have this period off, and you guys used to sit around at breakfast for awhile on Monday mornings."

"Yeah, in the beginning of the year," I rolled my eyes. I couldn't really blame him though, because he barely showed up at breakfast anymore, much less stick around to see everyone else's eating habits. "She picked up Divination again, because her parents got pissed that she dropped it. She needs to keep a good record for that class, because Trelawney apparently reports back to her family about her skills as a Divination student," I snorted, shaking my head.

"Huh," Draco didn't actually look all that interested, resting his chin in his palm. I looked at him, frowning. "What?"

"Why'd you volunteer to stay with me?"

"Being your best friend in the whole wide world of best friends doesn't count?" he said dryly, smirking. I sighed at the sarcasm, punching his arm.

"Come on, it's a serious question."

He looked at me evenly, a small smile playing across his face. "Finish your breakfast. Calm down. It'll do you good," he refilled my oatmeal bowl for me. "And eat more food, you're losing weight. Is the infirmary starving you or something?"

"No," I rolled my eyes. "Maybe I'm just not hungry. And who are you to talk? You look both food and sleep deprived," I elbowed him jokingly. Draco shrugged, a reply that I took to mean; 'I'm attempting to kill Albus Dumbledore and its really spoiling my appetite and need for sleep'.

Or something to that regard.

As he continued to pointedly watch my food intake, I ate another spoonful of oatmeal. I rested my elbow on the table, stirring the lumpy substance slowly. "How are you?" his unexpected question came a few minutes later. I glanced around again, noticing how much the Great Hall had cleared out. Only a few Sixth and Seventh Years still sat around, the only years to have free periods now.

"Alright," I shrugged noncommittally, tipping slices of banana into my bowl.

"Don't lie."

I laughed, fully turning towards him. "What are you expecting? That I'll suddenly become all brooding and depressed? I'm fine Draco, honestly. Right now, I'm worrying about Pomfrey letting me out for Sunday's game. I'm not about to go all 'personality change' on you, alright? I'm still me, who's 'too fucking happy all the time'," I quoted him, from our argument that seemed like it had happened forever ago, instead of merely a couple weeks. A lot had happened since then.

Draco smirked, shaking his head. "You're weird."

"Yeah, and you love it," I mocked, shoving him lightly. He replied by forcing more food on me.

•••

"What part of 'don't be long' did you not understand?" Pomfrey demanded, seconds after I appeared in the hospital wing again.

"Uh-" I tried to think up an explanation, but came up short.

"Good luck," Draco muttered, quickly backing out of the hospital wing and leaving me there to face the wrath of the matron. Git. I turned back to Pomfrey, who was standing there with her arms crossed and a disapproving expression across her face.

"I...ate a lot?" I threw out there, shrugging. It wasn't a lie, I now felt slightly ill from oatmeal overload. She tutted in exasperation, pointing me back over to my bed. I scurried over, climbing into my make-shift nest that was surrounded by leftover chocolate, books, and homework.

A couple of sharp pokes to my back with her wand later, Pomfrey was back in her office. I sighed, leaning into the pillows and looking at the ceiling. I'd been doing that a lot lately, and was starting to be very familiar with the patterns that lay up there. My hand brushed my pocket accidentally, reminding me of the letter that sat there. I pulled it free, turning the folded paper around in my hands a couple times before ripping the seal and unfolding it.

_Alexandra – _

_I was very sorry to hear of your injury, I do hope you are recovering well. I trust that your time in the care of Madam Pomfrey has given you the opportunity to ponder the events of Halloween. I myself find that time without distraction is best for doing some good thinking. _

_As I told you in our brief meeting, there are preparations that must be done before Christmas. I would like to explain the situation to you further, which should require little participation on your part. I say that only because I believe the only time we can meet for the time being would be tonight, 9:00. _

_Please assure Madame Pomfrey that you will return in the state you left the hospital wing in, and that it is I who has asked you for a meeting. I am of the opinion that she won't be keen on letting you out of her sight otherwise._

_Until then and yours sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

I snorted, folding the letter up and tucking it securely into my bag. He was right of course, Pomfrey was going to have a fit when I told her. I doubted if she'll let me out anyway, even if the Headmaster is asking for a meeting. Undoubtably, it won't be a pleasant conversation.

I spent the rest of the day being a perfect patient. I lay in the position I was supposed to, I didn't do anything that Pomfrey insisted would stress my back. I even ignored all my homework, letting it sit there unfinished. Once 8:30 rolled around, Pomfrey just so happened to be doing another check on me. I cleared my throat awkwardly, making her look up.

"I've got a meeting with Professor Dumbledore at 9:00," I blurted quickly. So much for a tactful delivery.

Pomfrey frowned, looking like she wanted to start yelling. "Do you? Why have I heard nothing about this?"

"I don't know," I mumbled. "Professor Snape told me today. I'll come right back afterwards, I won't get hurt or anything," I assured her quickly.

"Are you lying?" she demanded, staring me in the face.

"No, of course not!" I exaggerated my shocked expression. Pomfrey sighed.

"Injured students running around everywhere, the Headmaster disappearing so often that he needs to meet with students in the middle of the night. This school-" she shook her head, continuing to mutter to herself as she walked back towards her office. I had the urge to tell her that 9:00 wasn't actually the 'middle of the night', but thought it wouldn't help my cause. Right before Pomfrey reached her office, she glanced back over her shoulder. "You may leave for your meeting. No risk taking, and I expect you back before the school curfew."

"Yes ma'am," I muttered, sighing quietly in relief as she disappeared into her office.

•••

I arrived outside the stone gargoyle two minutes before 9:00. "Oh, I don't know," I mumbled to myself, realizing my lack of password. "Acid Pops?" I supplied, internally begging that the password hadn't changed. Relief washed over me when the gargoyle jumped aside, allowing me up the stairs and to Dumbledore's door. I knocked a couple times, and it swung forward easily without assistance. Dumbledore was sitting at his desk, frowning over a roll of parchment. As I entered, he looked up and smiled at me.

"Good evening Alexandra! Please, sit," he pointed me to my usual chair. I considered how absurd it was that it was actually becoming my 'usual' chair. It wasn't really on my 'to do' list to spend a bunch of time in this office.

"Evening sir. Forgive me, but if I may have an opinion on the matter and if you're going to use my first name, can you just call me Alexa? 'Alexandra' makes me feel like a snobbish pureblood."

"You are a pureblood my dear, it's nothing to be ashamed of," Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with amusement at my words anyway.

"I didn't say I was ashamed. I just don't like the stereotype," I mumbled as I sat down.

"Very well," he clasped his hands together on his desk. "How are you doing?"

"Oh, peachy," I shrugged. "Madame Pomfrey is convinced I'm going to break my spine if I move to much, but other then that...doing great," I smirked slightly.

Dumbledore chuckled. "Yes. Regarding the incidents on Halloween?"

"Oh," I shrugged, twisting my hands around restlessly. "Fine, I suppose."

"I sense you have a few questions," he chuckled to himself at his own words. I could understand the hilarity, the assumption was quite an understatement. Dumbledore seemed to be good at those.

"Just a few. I've been 'pondering',," I quoted his letter, grinning. "Can I just...ask away?" I wondered vaguely. Dumbledore gestured an affirmative. "What happened to Sterling?"

Dumbledore nodded. "A good first question. Mr. Emerillon was cursed with very Dark Magic. It's actually a very impressive vein of spell work, rarely used. Very simply, it was a memory charm. He was going to inform you of Mr. Nott's intentions and purpose, so this magic was meant to keep Mr. Emerillon out of the, shall we say, 'picture'. The curse will erase his memory of ever knowing what was to happen, as well as his intentions of telling you. There is a chance that more of his memory will be erased, but the staff of St. Mungo's has assured me that that is a very unlikely possibility. The caster of this Dark Magic knew exactly what they were doing, which incidentally, works in our favor."

"Who cursed him?" I asked, nodding at Dumbledore's explanation. It made sense.

"It may upset you to know," he began. I remained impassive. "It is my understanding that Theodore Nott cursed Mr. Emerillon when he discovered that his true purpose was about to be revealed. If it is any comfort, Mr. Nott was acting under the influence of Lord Voldemort. He had no realization or knowledge of his actions."

"Yeah, I get that," I nodded. "What was Theodore doing, anyway? I know he was doing something with the mail, but what do I have to do with that? Where is he now? What's going to happen?"

Dumbledore held up a hand. "One question at a time my dear. Concerning the mail, Mr. Nott was given the original task of finding a way to send letters in and out of the castle without interception. He was bidden to do so in order to help Mr. Malfoy in his attempts to inform Death Eaters outside the castle of his mission's progress."

"Killing you?" I verified. Dumbledore nodded once.

"Mr. Nott is currently at our Order of the Phoenix headquarters, recovering from being under the Imperius Curse. It is my hope that the influence of the Order members there will be enough to convert him back to our side. It is too soon to tell, as the curse is still wearing off. We must hide him within the headquarters so Voldemort doesn't catch a glimpse inside. It's not been an easy task, you can imagine."

"Yeah," I nodded. "What do I have to do with any of this?"

"Ah, here's where things get tricky," Dumbledore unclasped his hands to point a finger at me briefly. "Voldemort has his eyes on you specifically, which is why he sent Mr. Nott after you in the beginning. You appear to be a big turning point in all of this. You see, there is a newly discovered prophecy. A prophecy which we believe pertains to you."

"It's always a prophecy, isn't it?" I grumbled before I could stop myself. "Pesky little things."

Dumbledore looked sufficiently amused. "Indeed. Would you like to hear it?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not if you wish to help us."

"Just joking Professor, play away," I waved my hand through the air vaguely. Dumbledore pulled out his wand. I expected him to do a spell, but he turned to the basin sitting next to his desk, stirring the contents with the tip of his wand. The surface started to glow, strange wisps of haze rising from the top. A scratchy and admittedly frightening voice floated out of it.

_Feather and Scale_

_Feather and Antler_

_Feather and Paw_

_Feather and Fur_

_She is the half of One_

_She will draw them together_

_She will push them apart_

_She is the betrayer of all_

_Only He can bring her back_

"Huh. Cheery," I mumbled, watching the wisps disappear and the glowing light fade back into the strange basin. "What does it mean?"

"We have yet to figure that out," Dumbledore admitted. "I was hoping that you could start trying to help up decipher its meaning."

"Yeah, sure," I mumbled, considering the words. I had no idea. "Should I start that soon?"

"I think after Christmas would be best," Dumbledore amended. "Which brings us onward. I told you that there were preparations that needed to be done before the Christmas plan is carried out. Are you familiar with the art of Occlumency?"

"Not particularly, no," I frowned.

"Using Legilimency, others have the means to penetrate your mind and see it's contents. Occlumency is a form of magic protection used to control and disguise your thoughts. It is essential that you learn this skill before your audience with Voldemort, so he does not see your true plans or what I have told you. You see, Voldemort would find that I know just a little to much. Mr. Malfoy has already been trained in Occlumency, therefore his mission against me is supposed to be a complete secret."

I nodded. This was all coming together. It made sense. "So, you want me to learn Occlumency?"

"Indeed, I do," Dumbledore nodded. "I wish to continue meeting with you, so I may teach you myself. Professor Snape will be assisting as well. We have very limited time, therefore we must proceed with these lessons quickly. I assure you, they won't be pleasant."

"Figured," I agreed. "Alright, Occlumency. I can do that," I rubbed my face vigorously with my palms. "When do we start?"

Dumbledore didn't reply, but just looked at me. I looked back, feeling slightly awkward as he seemed to look straight into me. Finally, he started laughing. "Students of Hogwarts never fail to surprise me. I'll be honest with you, I expected a more negative reaction. But you're accepting all of this readily. It would be an insulting understatement to say that I'm impressed. It is students like you Alexa, that will ultimately defeat Voldemort."

His words left me slightly embarrassed, but I grinned. "Sir, if I can help, there's nothing I wouldn't do," I promised fiercely.

"You're already helping," Dumbledore replied, still smiling at me. "I believe we should start lessons next Monday. If I haven't heard wrong, you're aiming to talk yourself out of the hospital wing just in time for Sunday's Quidditch match, correct?"

I flushed, scratching the back of my neck sheepishly. "That's the plan," I mumbled. "Draco promised to help me."

"I'm sure minds of Slytherin will come up with something," Dumbledore chuckled. I gaped at him, realizing that he was actually mocking me jokingly. He just continued to smile. "Until Monday Alexa, you've got just enough time to get back to the hospital wing before curfew."

"Thank you sir," I snickered, getting up and leaving the office. Just before I left, I turned. "Sir, what about Blaise?"

Dumbledore sighed, bowing his head. "As regrettable as this is, I believe it would be best to keep your brother ignorant of your situation. I believe his knowledge of these plans would only jeopardize their success."

I nodded. As horrible as it was, I had to agree. "And Draco?"

"I have yet to finish assessing the direness of the situation concerning Mr. Malfoy's loyalties. This is all to be discussed on a later date, please, lets save this conversation for another meeting. For now, I would advise you to keep this all to yourself, until more plans can be arranged."

I nodded again. "Goodnight, Professor."

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**Chapter 15, come and gone :) Consider this a shameless begging for reviews... :) Though, who am I to beg? 100 REVIEWS! I'm still a bit excited, if you couldn't tell...I love you guys, and all the help you've given me so far. Keep up the awesome work! I only hope that my writing is enough to reward you all for your indescribable awesomeness. **

**Until next chapter :)**


	16. Slytherin vs Gryffindor

**Hey guys!**

**Sorry, this is a shorter chapter then usual...I do hope the content of the chapter makes up for the shortness of it though, I'm so excited to finally be posting these scenes for you! Having said that, I won't ramble. Straight onto the chapter!**

* * *

Saturday found Draco lounging in a chair at my bedside. Snowfall had really hit the castle in the previous couple of days, so the windows were fogged and caked with thick white powder. Draco had conjured a circle of warmth around my bed area, so we were completely comfortable as the snow storm pounded against the windows outside. We had intentions to think up a foolproof way of getting me out of the hospital wing. In reality, Draco was trying to get me to tell him about the small box Rae had given me from Honeydukes.

"Can I assume it's chocolate?" he asked, kicking his feet up on my bed.

"You know what they say about assuming," I mumbled, tossing a Quaffle back and forth between my hands. I'd asked him to bring me one. "I think I'm losing my dexterity. It's all this time trapped in this goddamn bed. I should've switched beds every day or so, make things more interesting."

"If you're losing your dexterity, why are we bothering to try and get you back for the game?" he smirked, making to get up. I grabbed his pant leg, which was the closest thing I could reach. He chuckled, leaning back in the chair again. "So, is it chocolate?"

"It's got chocolate in it," I agreed, tossing the Quaffle into the air. "I seriously need to play, because Sterling is already gone. You can't have two substitute Chasers."

"I could, if I wanted to," he contradicted.

"But that would make you a very bad captain," I shot him a small grin.

Draco just sneered at my remark. "Where do they sell the boxes in Honeydukes?"

"They don't normally," I smirked. "Rae had it specially ordered for me, because I didn't believe it existed. But it _does_ and I need to buy more!" I grinned with childlike enthusiasm, making Draco roll his eyes.

"You're no better then a five-year-old," he grumbled.

"Oh believe me, I know," I continued to grin widely, tossing the Quaffle higher into the air each time I threw it. "What if I just left for the match? Pomfrey probably wouldn't notice until I was in the air."

"Yeah, and get kicked off the team by Snape? That amount of rule breaking can't just go unpunished, even if he does favor us."

"Be a little more helpful, why don't you?" I huffed. "It really puts a downer on this when you just shoot down every possible idea."

"Your ideas are useless," he stated, as if that were obvious.

"And we're back at being more helpful," I repeated pointedly.

"Since when are you so picky?" he scoffed. I glared, making him smirk and hold up his hands in surrender. "Alright fine. Tell me what the box is first."

I groaned loudly. "You're impossible."

"You two _do _know that I'm not deaf, correct? And that I can hear everything you're saying?" Pomfrey asked, appearing around the curtain that hung around my bed. I grinned sheepishly at her. "How about I make this easier on you," she continued, setting a potion down on the small table. She looked exasperated. I guess she was tired of me. "This is another bone strengthening solution. Drink it, then you're free to go. Just in time for your match tomorrow. Drink quickly, before I change my mind," she spun on her heel and marched away.

"My presence softened her up," Draco muttered instantly. "I should get credit for this."

"In your dreams, ferret boy," I rolled my eyes, picking up the cup and drinking the potion in one gulp. It tasted like cat saliva. Yummy. After I swallowed, I hacked obnoxiously as I packed up all my stuff. Draco looked disgusted, striding from the hospital wing without looking back to check if I was following. I stuck my tongue out at his back, even though he couldn't see it. Once I finished gathering all my stuff, I scampered after him, leaping to his side and doing a little celebratory dance as we walked down the hall.

"What are you _doing_?" he demanded, sparing me a sideways glance.

"Being happy. Try it sometime," I elbowed him in the side.

"Ha, ha," he grumbled. "Your witty remarks astound me."

"I do my best," I shrugged. We had arrived at our tapestry now.

"Alexa's a klutz," Draco announced to it. Cuing my gaping expression, our common room was revealed.

"What the _hell_ kind of password is that?" I demanded loudly.

"A true one," he shrugged, jumping into the common room and going for the safety of the bathroom before I could act on my urge to strangle him.

I apparently can't be in the hospital for two weeks without hell breaking loose.

•••

Sunday morning, the snow storm had miraculously stopped. It was still freezing outside, and snow still thickly coated the ground, but the air for playing was perfectly still and crisp. It was a wonderful way to start the day. I danced into the Quidditch locker room only to find Rae furiously pulling her robes over her head. "What's wrong?" I asked, realizing that the rest of the team had expressions of similar agitation.

"Besides Sterling being missing," Rae glared at Qrquhart, who averted his gaze, "Malfoy oh so kindly has decided to skip out on us. He's left that _dunce_, Harper, as the replacement Seeker. Oh, you're standing as captain, he told me to tell you."

"_What_?" I nearly screamed, dropping my playing uniform that I'd taken out of my locker. As if he'd been waiting for the announcement, Harper came swaggering into the locker room, looking very pleased about himself.

"Morning all!" he grinned in a maddening way.

"Fuck you," Rae and I both growled simultaneously in his direction.

"This cannot be happening," I groaned, slumping down onto a bench. Rae was leaning against the lockers, glaring at everyone else in the room. Shaking my head vigorously, I pulled on my robes quickly. "Alright guys, let's go. We need to finish this game so I can find our captain and kill him," I yanked my Firebolt from its spot and strode from the room.

We all lined up on the field, cuing cheers from the Slytherin side and groans from the Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws. We're a well liked house. Obviously. The Gryffindor team filed out soon afterwards.

"Captains, shake hands," Madame Hooch instructed. Rae kicked me. Right. I'm replacement captain. I stepped forward and shook hands with Harry Potter. He looked confused and a little pissed off. Hell, I probably did too. He stared at me questioningly, to which I just sneered as a knee jerk reaction. Stepping back, I mounted my broom. "Three...two...one..." the whistle blew, and I immediately shot upward, reaching for the Quaffle. I caught it easily enough, tucking it under my arm as I ducked under the Weasley girl before I passed to Rae.

We went on offense down the pitch. Once Qrquhart was close enough to score, Rae passed him the Quaffle. He went speeding for the right side goalpost, throwing the Quaffle towards goal. Shockingly it was saved. I shared an incredulous look with Rae before we split up, wheeling around to tail Robbins as she flew back down towards Flint. Rae dived and quickly shot back around, ready to block the Quaffle if it was passed. I bolted forward, ready to snatch it. Unexpectedly, Robbins did some weird flip thing, passing to Thomas instead. I swore loudly, having to completely slow down and change directions.

It got worse. Half an hour passed, leaving Slytherin at zero and Gryffindor at sixty. "Weasley is fucking _high_!" I screamed at Rae, glaring down to the uncharacteristically spectacularly playing Keeper. "What the _hell_ are you doing with the Bludgers?" I hollered at Goyle, who was floating past me. He just sped off, completely ignoring me.

"Here!" Rae shouted, throwing the Quaffle at me. Letting my rage drive me, I went pelting down the field, hurling the ball at Ron. I was mostly aiming to hit him, not really caring if I scored or not. He soared upward and whacked the ball with the tail end of his broom, making it fly back across the field. I screamed in frustration, listening to Rae emit a similar sound behind me. Continuing to act only through anger, I rammed as hard as I could into Thomas, stealing the Quaffle again. Back in the scoring area, I got as close as possible to the goal before throwing it in. Slytherin's first goal. _Finally._

Meanwhile, Harper had gotten hit with a Bludger. He flew in some random and jolting pattern for awhile, a pause in his searching for the Snitch that brought Gryffindor a hundred points up. I got ahold of the Quaffle again, passing it to Rae. _Thank Merlin_, she managed to score a goal. I flew towards her, actually hugging her in midair before we went pelting down the pitch together after Weasley, who had gotten the Quaffle again. In a surprisingly good move of agility, Qrquhart blocked her and stole the Quaffle, passing it to Rae. On the way back down, Rae passed to me. I flung it as hard as possible at the goal, scoring another. Thirty points. Go Slytherin.

"YES!" the yell echoed through the stadium, and I wheeled around to watch Potter flying back through the pitch, holding the Snitch high in the air.

"This is...sad," Rae claimed, dismounting her broom on the ground and watching the swarm of people growing around the Gryffindor team.

"This is unacceptable," I countered, landing next to her with a hard thump. Ignoring the rest of the team, I went storming for the changing room. Rae hurried after me. "Where is Malfoy? I'm gonna kill him," I seethed, throwing down my Firebolt and changing clothes in record time.

"No idea," Rae shook her head. "He's claiming illness."

"Bullshit," I spat. "See you later, alright?"

"Yeah," she murmured. "Hey, Alexa?" she called me back, making me whirl around. "Try not to commit _too_ many crimes, alright?"

"Sure," I huffed. "Later."

Just in case Draco happened to be uncharacteristically honest, I checked the hospital wing and the common room. No illness in sight. Alright. If I were a dishonest and slimy git, where would I hide? Unable to think up an answer, I ended up checking major locations. The real Slytherin common room, the Great Hall, the Quad, the lake. All of which proved to be Draco Malfoy-less. I ended up wandering the castle, through corridors and up staircases. I ended up getting lost on multiple occasions, and I was wondering by the fifth floor if this was worth it.

Of course it was. I needed _someone_ to yell at, considering we'd just lost the match _and_ I'm wandering the entire Hogwarts castle to find one person. These things tend to make someone angry.

I was up in the Owlery at that point, glaring at the rows and rows of owls. It had started snowing again, cascading onto the window ledge that allowed owls to fly in and out. _Nobody_ was up here, much less Draco. His owl was here, perched near the window. I tilted my head in that direction. "You probably know where he is, don't you? Yeah, you do. Your face mocks me," I mumbled, pointing accusingly at the black feathered eagle owl. Atlas just blinked at me, looking surly. Whirling around, I half tripped, half hurried, back down the stairs to the seventh floor corridor. It was growing dark by that point, so the hallways was dim.

"Ooooooooh!" a scream of evil mirth came flying down the hallway at me. I couldn't see the source of the noise, but instinctively ducked. A gust of air went shooting above my head. I whirled around, looking through the darkness. Suddenly, a face appeared right in front of mine. "BOO!"

"PEEVES!" I screamed, tripping backwards a couple steps.

Peeves cackled, flipping through the air to hang upside down in front of me. "It's Little Lexi!" he whooped, pointing at me. "Lexi's outta bed, very very bad!"

"I'm a Prefect, and it's not even curfew yet," I snapped.

"Touchy touchy," Peeves sang. "Little Slytherins, running to and fro. What are you Snakeies up to?"

"What do you mean?" I grumbled, still glancing around for my next destination of searching.

"Playing like you don't know, that's not nice Little Lexi," Peeves crooned, flying in circles around my head. It was very dizzying. "I see you Slytherins up here all the time, what Snakeies have things to do on the seventh floor after classes? Fishy, I say. Threatening me away from the Astronomy Tower with the Bloody Baron, it's just rude," he blew a huge raspberry at me.

_The Astronomy Tower_.

Huh. It's always gotta be the last place I look. Of course.

"Ooh, but I can follow Little Lexi!" Peeves continued giggling. "I can call Filchy, yes I can."

"Langlock!" I cried, drawing my wand and pointing it at the Poltergeist. With a loud gulp and uncontrollable choking, Peeves grabbed his throat before he went careening away down the hall. I turned in the other direction, running for the other end of the castle. At the Astronomy Tower staircase, I paused, listening. I heard nothing, so I slowly made my way up into the tower.

Draco stood there, leaning against the railing that looked over the expansive grounds. When he heard my footsteps, he whirled around, automatically reaching for his pocket. "Oh. It's you," he muttered, dropping his hand and turning around again.

"What the _hell_ is your problem?" I exploded, crossing the floor to stand next to him. In truth, I was slightly worried. He actually looked sick, his skin paler then usual, his eyes dark rimmed and bloodshot. He looked just as malnourished as ever. I couldn't bring myself to dwell on that though. I had looked for him all this time, I may as well get my anger out.

"Meaning?"

"You're team captain! You've forced massive amounts of training on us, and then you just skip the first match? Against Gryffindor?"

"I'm guessing we didn't win then?" he wondered, still only barely appearing to be listening to me. I shoved at his shoulder, making him turn and actually look at me. He looked dead beneath his eyes.

"Didn't win? We got _flattened_! It's bad enough that Sterling is gone, but you decide to just blow off the whole match and replace yourself with _Harper_? Could you have picked a worse replacement? That was humiliating."

"So you're saying that you need my amazing skill as a Seeker to save you guys?" Draco questioned. His smirk was back on his face, however weak and unconvincing it was.

"I don't even give a damn about the match. It's the fact that you left us all to be completely belittled by a Quidditch team that honestly shouldn't have played as well as they did. You left us to take the crap for your inability to show up to one stinking match, while you just plead _ill_ and not even bother to care. It's- what's so funny?" I demanded, glaring at him as he smiled at me.

"You're cute," he said simply.

"What the- you can't- Draco Malfoy, I am not _cute_, I am _yelling at you!_" I screamed, shoving his chest for emphasis. He wasn't even phased, but he just continued to grin. In fact, it was the most genuine smile I'd ever seen on his face.

"I know," he agreed. "It's your face."

"Yeah well, your face can just-" I was cut off as he placed both of his hands against my jawline, pulling me closer to him. My next attempt at questioning barely started out of my mouth before his lips were gently pressing against mine. He kissed me softly, and all I could do was stand there. How dumb am I? He pulled away after a second. "Oh, shut up," I mumbled as he gave me a strange look. Draco replied by pulling me firmly against him again.

Automatically, my arms found their way around his neck. I actually kissed him back this time. In a word, different._ Definitely_ not in a bad way. I hadn't really given much thought to what everyone meant when they described people as 'good kissers'. I had assumed Theodore fell into that category, mainly because I got butterflies when I kissed him.

Draco Malfoy was a good kisser. I understood it now. While I only felt a few pleasant flutterings in my stomach while with Theodore, all I felt now was fire. It was wonderful and turbulent, all I wanted was to preserve the feeling. It wasn't until his tongue traced my lower lip that I realized exactly what was going on.

I jumped, breaking away from him and backing up a few steps. "What the-" I gaped at him. "Why'd you do that?" I knew it was a stupid question to ask, but I couldn't think up a better way of asking anything.

"You didn't seem to be complaining," he countered, raising an eyebrow.

"Completely not the point!" I shook my head, as if trying to get rid of invisible flies. I distantly realized that I was being irrational. It was just a kiss. Also, it was much better to be closer to him at that moment, considering that it was really cold up here. "You can't just randomly kiss people!"

"Why not?" he shrugged.

"Because, Draco," I frowned, glaring at him. "Girls were not created to satisfy your personal amusement. Anyway, why would you do that? We've only recently become 'friends', which hasn't gone so great anyway. We've hated each other for a majority of our lives."

He mumbled something that I didn't catch, but it sounded suspiciously like _'maybe you have'._

I gaped stupidly, feeling my eyes burn with no rationality as to why they were doing so. I couldn't seem to actually form a response, so I just whirled around. I ran from the Astronomy Tower and back onto the Seventh Floor. I went pelting down the hallway, my only goal to put a good distance between myself and that tower. On the other side of the school, I was still on the Seventh Floor, but long corridors away from the tower. I tripped awkwardly into a little alcove with a large window, catching ahold of the window ledge and leaning out into the cold air. It started to clear my mind, just a little bit.

"A-Alexa?" a trembling and surprised voice came from behind me. I looked over my shoulder, finding Hermione to be standing there and vigorously wiping at her face. She was crying. I realized then that my own tears were making long tracks down my cheeks. By that point, there was no use hiding it. I wondered distantly when they had started to fall.

"You've been avoiding me," I choked, falling heavily against a wall and sliding down it, dropping my face into my hands. I sniffed back more tears, glancing up at her.

"Is that why you're crying?" she asked, trying to smile but failing anyway. I appreciated the effort. I coughed out a laugh, wiping my tear covered hands on my jeans.

"No," I mumbled. "Why are you crying?"

"Because of the reason that I've been avoiding you," Hermione mumbled. "What I didn't tell you at the Halloween party."

"Which is?"

"Ronald Weasley," she sort of hyperventilated as she said his name, trying to choke back more tears in order to be understandable. It took me a minute to comprehend what she was saying, then I gave another half attempt at a laugh.

"You like the Weasel?" I tried to snicker, but just coughed instead. "Hah, we're such _girls_. Sitting here and crying," I grumbled. "Being a girl sucks. We have _feelings_. And brains. And tact. Imagine that," I ranted quietly.

"Why are _you_ crying?" Hermione looked at me suspiciously.

"Malfoy thinks I'm cute," I explained dully, grimacing. "Doesn't matter. Are you alright?"

"No," she surprised me by answering honestly. "I'll b-be okay, eventually," she hiccuped.

"Stop avoiding me now? My grades are going downhill."

"Yeah. Me too," she smiled slightly.

"Okay," I mumbled, standing up shakily. "Gotta beat Draco back to the common room. See you later, Hermione."

"Bye Alexa," she murmured. At the last minute, I turned.

"Hey. Know what helps?"

She looked up. "What?"

I wiped at my face again, drawing my wand. Waving it through the air, I conjured one little yellow bird. "Animals. They're comforting. Try it," I gestured towards her. "Night," I gave her a half wave before wandering away out of the alcove and back down the corridor. As I trudged away, I nearly ran into the laughing couple who was tripping over each other down the hallway. It just so happened to be the unexpected duo of Ron Weasley and Whats-Her-Name Brown.

"Oh. Hey," Ron mumbled awkwardly, while his giggling girlfriend clung to his arm. I just glared at him, turning down the staircase and heading in the direction of the dungeons.

Once I got back to the common room and found it otherwise deserted, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and scurried into my bedroom. I fell into my bed, pulling Lucas to my chest and hugging him tightly. As I lay there, I tried to consider the situation. What did it mean? I tried to think logically.

Turns out, all I ended up wondering was whether Draco was still standing in the Astronomy Tower.

* * *

**YAY! I know you guys have been waiting for a kiss, albeit this probably wasn't the exact scenario you had in mind. *Evil laugh***

**For whoever caught it, I tip my hat to you! Yes, I totally mapped the ending of this chapter around the HBP scene, with Hermione crying over Ron and everything. It was just TOO PERFECT, because the scene leaves Hermione and Harry then rounds the castle to Draco standing alone in the Astronomy Tower. How could I NOT use it? Yeah, it was an exciting moment for me :)**

**Anyway, I have a very important question for you guys. I'm going on a week long vacation/family type thing on Friday, so do you guys want another chapter tomorrow? Cause I'm not totally sure I'll have internet, so if I don't, there PROBABLY won't be anything for a week. I'm not totally sure on the internet thing though, I might be able to get my cyber hands on a wireless or two...anyway. Chapter tomorrow?**

**Happy early weekend all, and one more reminder that I love you ALL! I'm still blown away that I'm over 100 reviews, it's just so overwhelming that you guys are there for me and the story. Thank you a million times over!**

**Okay, I'll sign off now :)**


	17. Things We Remember

**Lo and behold, I found myself a firewire on my trip! So here we go, chapter 17! I think this is the longest chapter yet, so hurray for that! ****Hope you guys are in a flashback mood, because I sure was. Simply put, here's your Theodore chapter :) I hope you're all curious about Theodore/Alexa's previous relationship, because I sure loved writing about it...anyway, continue reading!**

* * *

I missed Theodore.

Yeah, I know. Real shitty thing to be thinking after just having kissed Draco Malfoy. Give me a break, I can't exactly kiss another guy without thinking about my now suddenly gone boyfriend. Which brings up another question. Have I technically broken up with Theodore? I mean, a rape attempt it a pretty good 'relationship ending' boundary, but if your boyfriend is being possessed by Lord Voldemort...this is kind of a 'me' situation, isn't it? Do any other girls have this problem?

No matter how many questions I had on the matter, it didn't change the fact that I genuinely missed him. Not just because he was my boyfriend, or whatever other similar reasons. Because he was genuinely one of my best and closest friends. We have a past. We've been through a lot. I wasn't about to forget.

•••

_**First Year**_

_**8 September 1991**_

I'd been sitting at the edge of the lake for a couple minutes, sniffing back tears and rubbing my knuckles with my other hand. I had just punched Malfoy in the face. He'd called me ugly, what else was I supposed to do? I still felt slightly off balance, even though I was sitting down. For an eleven year old, Malfoy can really shove. I'd nearly toppled into the lake when he pushed me. Luckily I hadn't, because him and his stupid friends, Crabbe and Goyle, had just laughed at me and walked away.

I jumped when a bush rustled behind me. I turned, watching a boy climb out of the branches. He looked bored, yet slightly surprised that he'd been sitting in a bush. It was like he just so happened to be there accidentally. He was very skinny, with long black hair that fell over his eyes. Even with the dark mane, he couldn't hide the shadowy green eyes beneath. They glinted slightly with hidden slyness and just a little bit of secretive scheming that was undoubtably going on in his head.

"You're not ugly," he informed me bluntly, walking over and sitting across from me. When I just blinked at him, he smirked, holding both his hands out for my injured one. I offered it to him, which he took gently between his palms and inspected it. Still grinning as if this was the most entertaining thing he'd ever done, he kissed my knuckles before switching his grip so we were clasping hands. He shook mine lightly. "Hello. I'm Theodore Nott."

I felt myself blush. At that moment, I was as infatuated as an eleven year old could possibly be. "Alexa Zabini."

•••

_**First Year (cont.)**_

_**9 September 1991**_

The next morning, I was in an absurdly good mood. Later, I would wonder if it was because I'd discovered a possible friendship in Theodore Nott. At eleven, that realization meant absolutely nothing more to me then a normal friendship. Bag slung over my shoulder, I hurled myself out of the dormitory, skidding into the common room where a few others already were sitting, looking tired.

"You're reminding me of a very excited animal," a voice greeted me. I looked around to find Theodore leaning against a couch.

"Morning!" I replied cheerfully. "Is it a crime to be excited?"

"Not at all," he raised one eyebrow at me. "Would you like to walk together to breakfast?"

"Sure," I agreed simply. We left the common room together, taking the route back to the Great Hall. Theodore was very quiet, seeming perfectly at ease to watch me bounce around at his side. "Say something," I finally requested, his silence making me feel like I was completely oblivious to something around me.

"Something," he replied lazily.

"Har har. You know what I mean."

"What's your favorite color?" he asked unexpectedly.

"Yellow," I answered, without so much as a hesitation.

"Why?"

"Do I need a reason?" I countered. He nodded. "Okay. Yellow makes people happy, I guess."

"Yellow also makes people lose their tempers quicker."

"What's your favorite color then?" I challenged, looking at him in an attempt to gauge his answer.

"Grey."

"Why?"

"Because it's black and white at the same time."

I glanced at him. He looked completely serious. After a moment, I smiled again. "I like that."

•••

_**Summer**_

_**15 June 1992**_

Theodore and his mother had one of the best relationships I'd ever witnessed. They were friends. She almost never demanded him to do anything, was never upset with him, acted nothing like a mother usually would. They just had fun. It was one of the most love filled relationships I've still, to this day, ever encountered. She genuinely adored him, and vise-versa.

I discovered this strange and wonderful bond when I stayed at Theodore's house during the summer after First Year. He'd invited me to get away from my family, and getting away from the Malfoy family was just an added bonus. I gladly accepted.

"This could be so much easier," Theodore said evenly, watching his mother dance around the kitchen, looking for baking supplies. He was sitting next to me on a barstool, chairs that were high enough to reach the tall kitchen counter. "You could...I dunno, use magic?"

"Pfft, what fun would that be?" Lydia Nott waved a dismissive hand towards her son, standing on tip-toe to peer into an upper cabinet. "We're making cookies! Without magic!" she suddenly whirled around, pointing at us both in turn. "New rule. No magic during this whole process. No cheating!"

"Mum, we're First Years. What are we gonna do?" Theodore scoffed, leaning over the counter to grab a handful of the already set out bowl of chocolate chips.

"You're going to not eat my baking supplies!" she swatted at him. He only snickered, leaning back in his chair and holding his fist out towards me. I held my palm underneath, letting him pour a pile of chocolate chips into it. "Ugh, you two," she shook her head, but grinned at us. "Stop eating! Come help me. We need to find all this stuff," she thrust a recipe into my other hand. Theodore looked over my shoulder, paying more attention to eating the chocolate in his hand.

"Aren't kitchens usually organized by instinctive location?" Theodore yawned. He slid off the chair, going to stand in the middle of the kitchen. "What's the first thing on the list Alex?"

"Butter," I read off the recipe.

"Alright," he headed towards the fridge. "Butter has to be in the fridge, obviously. So you open the door, observe," he waved his hands towards the now open box. "Oh look, no butter. So you go towards the freezer," he made a show of wandering over to the freezer. "You open the door, and look! Butter, right in the weird handy side storage thing," he picked up the box, holding it out towards his mother.

"You think you're so smart," Lydia stuck her tongue out at her son, but took the butter anyway.

"Yeah, he's just great," I scoffed sarcastically. "Tell me, dear Theodore, where's the 'instinctive' place to put baking soda?"

"In the...baking drawer?" he faltered. "Wow, I get it. Take my mother's side," he rolled his eyes, throwing a frozen biscuit in my direction. I laughed, catching it simply.

We spent four hours trying to bake cookies, well over the estimated hour and a half that the recipe advertised. "Feet don't belong on the counter!" Lydia was viciously stirring the bowl of cookie mixture, barely sparing a glance at Theodore, who'd propped his feet against the countertop.

"Ah, but you'd deny me, your perfect son, the comfort?" Theodore countered, dropping his feet anyway to lean across the counter and swipe a finger full of the batter.

"Yes," she stated, firmly pushing him back into his chair.

"Eh, let him. Either that, or he'll start sitting on the dinner table instead of in a chair," I mocked, grinning at Theodore.

"Oh, that'd be fun!" Lydia burst, smiling broadly at me.

"Hypocrite," Theodore mumbled. Lydia looked at him, then smiled a small and genuine smile, picking up some of the cookie batter and flicking it at him.

And so started the cookie batter fight of the century. We never did actually bake the cookies.

•••

_**Diagon Alley**_

_**24 August 1992**_

"This list is absurd," Theodore mumbled. He was sitting against the brick wall lazily. Shifting to the side, he pulled out the slip of paper to read it again. I shrugged, still crouching behind the bench that blocked us from view. Stealthily, I peeked through the wooden slats that made up the back. My mother stood a few feet away, looking around. Blaise stood next to her, looking bored. Sailor had been left at home with the step-father, considering that he wasn't going to Hogwarts yet, and he would be too excited if he had accompanied us.

"Shush!" I waved my hand in Theodore's direction as he started ranting again.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," he grumbled, grabbing my shirt and yanking me backwards. "You honestly think that being a creep and watching her from behind a bench is less revealing then just sitting here and waiting? She'll go away soon, calm down. Look at this," he shoved the list into my hands.

"Who's Gilderoy Lockhart?" I asked, scanning the whole collection of books.

"What rock are you living under?" Theodore muttered, rolling his eyes. I just looked at him. "He's that guy who's been traveling around, writing books about all this stuff," he gestured to the names of all the books listed. "Mother likes him, but she also says he's a fraud."

"What do you think?"

"I don't really care," he mumbled. "I'm just hoping he'll be a laugh. You heard that he's actually teaching DADA this year, right? It's not just some insane fan who's listed all of his books."

"Dumbledore must be desperate," I mumbled, scooting forward to peer through the bench slats again. "Hey! She's gone! Let's go," I grabbed his hand, yanking him up and running off down the alley.

"Where are we going?" Theodore asked, sounding exasperated at my enthusiasm.

"Does it matter?" I scoffed. He grunted something that seemed to be an attempt at a reply, but no words were actually distinguishable. I stopped dead, whirling to look at him. Theodore looked relieved that I'd stopped, standing still and letting his eyes wander over the people bustling around us.

"Are we just going to stand here?" he wondered after a few minutes of me just scrutinizing him.

"You don't like people very much, do you?"

Theodore frowned. "I like you."

"You know me. I'm your friend. There's a difference. Come to think of it, do you have any other friends?"

"Rae," he shrugged.

I rolled my eyes. "You're kind of a recluse, you know that?"

"That's a big word to use when you're twelve."

"You're twelve too."

"You don't hear me throwing the word 'recluse' into a normal conversation, do you?" he countered, half of a smirk curling across his face. I scrunched up my nose, glaring at him.

"I'm smart, I'm allowed," I finally retorted after a minute, crossing my arms across my chest. Theodore just tilted his head to the side, studying me. "Come on," I grabbed his arm again. I weaved through the people striding along, finally ducking into Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour and throwing myself into a booth. I dropped Theodore's arm, leaving him standing next to me. I smiled coyly up at him. "Honey and Cinnamon, please," I requested, referring to an ice cream flavor.

"You're so weird," Theodore mumbled, turning around and heading for the counter. I watched him approach Fortescue, who was cleaning a sundae glass. After a moments conversation, the ice cream shop owner burst out into jovial laughs, turning towards the freezer full of ice cream flavors. Theodore glanced over his shoulder, giving me a smirk.

Fortescue returned, holding two massive ice cream bowls. He offered them to Theodore. After another moment of conversation that I didn't hear, Fortescue shook his head and made a point of waving Theodore away from the counter. Theodore returned, sporting a huge grin. "Honey and Cinnamon?" he offered, thrusting the bowl and a spoon into my hands.

"I have no words for you," I grumbled, digging the spoon into the ice cream. "Are you bipolar?"

"Alex," he shook his head at my apparent stupidity, sitting down across from me. "You forget, I've grown up a pureblood, same as you. I'm not a complete introvert."

"Oh yeah, and you mock me for 'recluse'," I mumbled.

"I got you free ice cream. I deserve the rights of saying 'introvert'," Theodore still smirked at me.

Damn him and his logic. I glared into my ice cream for a minute, completely aware of his gaze never leaving me. After a moment, I stood up. "Scoot," I gestured to him. With a surprised expression on his face, he did so. I wedged myself into the booth next to him, leaning against his shoulder. "You're alright Theo. I might just keep you around."

"You have no choice," I heard him snickering.

I might just love this boy.

•••

_**Diagon Alley (cont.)**_

_**24 August 1992**_

"I want a pet," I mumbled, kicking the ground as we walked along. We'd left Fortescue's a couple hours previous, and had bought all of our books and supplies for school. We had used the Floo Network to send our packages back to our separate homes.

"Don't you always?" Theodore replied simply. It was true, my animal obsession had started at a very early age.

"Sure, but I don't actually have one," I sighed. "Even Blaise has an owl, but that's cause he gets whatever he wants. Since he's apparently the 'better half' of our twin-ship."

"I disagree," Theodore said simply. "I find your brother aggravating. You, not so much," he gave me a very rare, genuine smile. I flushed, and hoped he didn't notice. "Look, there's Magical Menagerie. Go on and look, I'll catch up with you."

"Where are you going?" I called after him as he started to walk away. Theodore just turned once to grin at me, but said nothing as he disappeared around a corner. I shrugged, but the promise of an animal lined store won me over. I entered, feeling rather small as I looked at the ceiling high stacks of animals.

"Afternoon dear!" the woman standing behind the counter greeted me happily. "Are you here with your parents?"

"No, I'm alone. My friend should be coming," I shrugged, heading off to pursue the cages. Toads blinked at me, birds flapped in their cages, rats and mice squeaked loudly. In other words, I was in heaven. I ended up near the cats, seeing tabby cats, black cats, white cats, all sitting in their cages as they watched me. An orange cat with matted fur sat on top near the ceiling, squinting down at me through a slightly squished face.

Near the end of the cats, a cage full of kittens sat. There had to be a couple dozen little tiny kittens in there, all crawling over each other and mewling quietly. I couldn't contain my smile, opening the cage and sticking my hand inside. The little animals crowded around my hand, looking thrilled. By chance, I looked down at the cage below that one. Only one kitten was placed in there, sitting in the exact middle of the cage and staring out into the shop with a somewhat crazed expression on his face.

"This one misses his mother," the shopkeeper informed me. I'd closed the cage with the multiple kittens, now crouching down to look the lone one right in the face. "He attacks all the other kittens, so we had to put him by himself. Very feisty, very temperamental. He'll need a patient owner," with that, she walked away again, looking at the one kitten with a slightly disdainful expression.

"Hey," I murmured to the small kitten, sticking my fingers through the cage. The small cat stood up and tripped slightly as he made his way over to my offered hand. After a pause, he opened his mouth wide and bit down on my fingers. I jumped, feeling pain rage up my finger and through my arm. I kept my hand there, mostly because he seemed intent on not letting go. In fact, his eyes moved towards me, his teeth still digging into my finger. "Wanna let go?" I asked, scrunching up my nose at him.

I laughed when the kitten instantly dropped my finger, resorting to licking the wounds he'd left. Thrilled, I opened the cage and pulled him out, letting him sit in my cradled hands. He was small enough that he fit perfectly. I held him close to my chest, standing up and walking towards the front counter.

"Seems he likes you," the shopkeeper looked shocked at my pleased expression and the calmness of the kitten in my hands.

"Yeah. How much is he?" I asked, without much hope. I was unable to abuse my pureblood status, given that my mother wasn't around, nor would she bother to spend money on what she would decide was a 'stupid animal'.

The woman smiled at me. "He's been taken care of," she shrugged. "Someone must like you," she handed me a cage and a bag full of cat food.

"Uh- thanks," I frowned, but grabbed the stuff anyway. I scampered from the shop before she could change her mind. I wasn't sure why she would, but it seemed strange.

"You found one," Theodore was lounging on a bench outside.

"Yeah. That was so weird," I glanced back in the shop. "Someone bought him for me."

"Huh," Theodore didn't look like he thought that was weird at all. In fact, he grinned. It was a secretive expression, which only flashed on his face for a second. Then, he just took hold of the cage and food, holding them for me. "What are you going to name him?"

He didn't. Theodore couldn't have- or even wouldn't have bought- No. Of course not. I blinked, banishing the thought from my head.

"Lucas."

•••

_**Summer **_

_**14 July 1993**_

Too hot for comfort, I flopped over on the hard marble floor of the kitchen in Malfoy Manor. "Wanda?" I called dully through the air. With a small pop!, the elderly elf appeared in front of me.

"Miss Alexa?" she asked in her quavering voice, weak sounding with age.

"Can you see if my mother is somewhere in the house, please?" I asked, gazing up at the house elf pleadingly. Wanda smiled, patting my head before disappearing again. I rested my head on the cool floor again, waiting. After a few minutes, another pop! signaled Wanda's return.

"Missus Margret is indeed in the house, Miss Alexa," Wanda bobbed her head in affirmative.

"Fantastic," I smiled. "Would it be too much trouble for you to take me home?" I'd been sent to the Manor hours before hand, my mother claiming that it would do me good to be around Draco for awhile so we could actually start getting along. Like hell. So, I'd escaped down to the kitchen, where I knew he would never go. Anyway, the kitchen was underground, so it was much cooler down here. I was waiting for the rest of my family to show up here, then I could go back home. They'd suspect nothing.

"Not at all Miss," Wanda agreed happily, coaxing me into a standing position. She grabbed ahold of my hand, twisting us through the suffocating tube that made up apparition. Seconds later, I was standing in the entrance hall of the Zabini residence. Home.

"Thanks Wanda," I grinned happily. "You don't have to stay, I'm good," I nodded to her. Wanda bowed before vanishing. I stood up, wandering aimlessly towards my room. Since my mother was undoubtably talking with Narcissa, it meant that Blaise and Sailor had to be somewhere in Malfoy Manor as well. I only really had to worry about the step-father, but I doubted he would be around.

Up in my room, I threw open the balcony doors, trying to coax a breeze in my direction. It didn't work, of course. So I threw myself into a chair that sat there, bracing my feet against the metal of the balcony railing and hoping for it to cool down. It was by mere chance that I glanced down. It was also by chance that I did so at the perfect moment. Any other time, and I would've missed the figure tripping over their own feet as they tried to reach the house.

I'd know that figure anywhere. He seemed to completely collapse at some point, falling out of sight. I leaped up, sprinting out of my room, through the house, and to the front door. I flung the door wide, finding Theodore Nott to be crumpled into a shaking ball, yards from the door.

"Theo!" I cried, running out and skidding to a stop on my knees next to him. The gravel on the ground ripped at my uncovered legs, as I was wearing shorts. I didn't care, placing my hands on his shoulders. Theodore looked up, dark hair still too long as it covered his face. I pushed it aside, finding his eyes to be fighting tears and his expression more hurt and angry then I'd ever seen it.

"Alex-" he choked, looking at me as if I was the only thing around. "She's- she's gone," he gasped, looking ready to have a heart attack. I wrapped my arms around him as he started to shake uncontrollably. "Gone. I knew it was going to happen, I should've stopped it, I should've done something-"

"Shh, Theo, calm down. Start at the beginning. What happened?" I was kneeling in front of him now, hands on his shoulders to keep him sitting upright. He gulped shaky and uneven breaths of air, while I just pushed his hair to the side with one hand and waited for him to to calm down.

"She's...she's...d-dead," he finally choked. He wasn't crying, even though his eyes threatened to do so. He looked pissed, petrified, he was in shock. After another minute, he looked up at me, eyes suddenly glowing with rage. "My mother. He killed her and he made me watch."

•••

_**Third Year**_

_**8 February 1994**_

"Hey Nott, has your father killed anyone recently?"

"Come on Nott, how's your mum?"

"I dunno which is more disgusting Nott. Your father, or the fact that you watched."

It wasn't just that day. The taunts had followed Theodore nearly every day since the entire school year started, and had just gotten worse after break. I'd been next to him for every jibe, grabbing ahold of his arm and making him keep walking. His pride managed to surprise me, I hadn't witnessed him break down once. He would just take my hand in his and ignore them all.

I guess it had just finally gotten to be too much. Before I could grab him, Theodore ran off towards an empty classroom. He threw himself inside and slammed the door, leaving the mocking students to laugh and jeer after him. I rounded on the two guys, having no idea who they were. I vaguely recognized them as older, maybe Fifth Years.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" I demanded angrily.

"What do you care?" one of them shot back. "Just go on after your fucking boyfriend, the coward," he waved me off.

"Incarcerous," I muttered, drawing my wand and pointing it at the two before they could react. Instantly, ropes flew from my wand, wrapping around both of them and tying them up together in a very awkward position. As they shouted and tried to not make contact with each other, I laughed, turning and heading after Theodore.

"Don't come in here," he demanded, seconds after I'd leaned against the door to close it after I went inside.

"Why not?"

"You shouldn't see me like this," Theodore mumbled. He was sitting in a chair, head buried somewhere against his crossed arms that rested on the desk. One of his hands was uncrossed and tangled in his hair. I ignored him, crossing the room and sitting in another chair. I wrapped my hands around his arm, resting my chin against his elbow.

"Wanna look up?" I asked in an almost singsong voice. He did nothing. "You know you want to," I continued, tapping my chin against his arm. "Come on, it's real simple. I'm gonna keep being super annoying until you look at me!"

He choked, a sound that I vaguely recognized as an attempt at laughter. Slowly, he raised his head, turning it to look at me. "Told you," he mumbled. Tear tracks stretched down his face, with tears still soaking his cheeks endlessly.

"S'not so bad," I said quietly, gently using my sleeves to wipe his face. "Hey," I took ahold of either side of his neck, my fingers weaving into the hair that fell back there. I made him look me straight in the eye. "You're okay. I promise. It's all going to be alright, these assholes just have nothing else to talk about," I nodded towards the closed door.

"Just because I'm not in Malfoy's goddamn 'group'-" he started, but stopped when I shook my head.

"Doesn't matter. You're you, and that's it. Malfoy has nothing to do with this. Anyway, who cares what they all say? You've got me! And me thinks you're pretty damn fantastic."

He looked at me with sad eyes, but a small smile touched his face. "God Alex. Where would I be without you?"

I grinned, leaning forward to kiss his head. "Eh, I dunno. A lonely introvert," I used his word from Diagon Alley, a time that seemed like it had happened forever ago. "I'm gonna skip Charms. Stay here for as long as you need, then come find me. You promised to teach me how to skip rocks."

He nodded, and I skipped off.

It was the last time I ever saw him cry.

•••

_**Fourth Year**_

_**2 September 1994**_

"Honestly, I don't understand this," Theodore grumbled, watching a group of girls fall over each other giggling at the sight of him. "What happened?"

I rolled my eyes, sliding off my perch on his back and looking at his confused expression. "Come on Theo, you grew up! You don't look like a kid anymore," I informed him. It was completely true. His hair had turned from just looking too long into a messy mane that was just effortlessly attractive. He had filled out impressively, with a more defined appearance. He'd grown a considerable amount as well. In a word, sexy.

"What?" he looked completely at a loss. I placed both my hands on his shoulders, shaking him once.

"You're. Hot. Capiche?"

Theodore just looked at me for a minute. Then, he smirked. "You think I'm hot?"

I just rolled my eyes, throwing my arms into the air and walking away.

•••

_**Fourth Year (cont.)**_

_**3 November 1994**_

"Why are we being subjected to this?" I mumbled to Rae, slumping against the wall and looking across the Great Hall dully. At that time, I had thick bangs covering my forehead. They fell over my eyes as I slouched. It was a couple hours after the Heads of House announced the upcoming Yule Ball to their respective houses. After a brief discussion, all Fourth Years and above got herded into having dance lessons. Together. As a whole school.

"I know," she huffed. "They didn't even give us time to get a date."

"That's what you're thinking about? Seriously?" I rolled my eyes.

"Think about it! If we had dates, we'd have someone to dance with. Then we wouldn't have to deal with all this awkwardness," she waved a hand vaguely across the hall, indicating the skittish mannerisms of everyone. I was about to reply, but the huge doors of the Great Hall suddenly burst open, revealing a wind swept looking Theodore Nott. He looked surprised at everyone standing around, and looked like he'd been sprinting here. He was slightly out of breath.

"Idiot," I sighed, letting my head fall into my hands. "He's missed this much, he may as well just stay away."

"Hey," Theodore gasped to the teachers who had looked around at him. "What's going on?"

"Yule Ball dancing lessons," Snape informed him stiffly. "You're late."

Theodore suddenly stood up normally, giving him a huge, shit-eating grin. "Yeah, I know. I suppose none of these candy-ass students have bothered to find themselves dates yet," he looked around at everyone, as if the statement was a challenge. Rae poked me, with an expression that clearly read, 'I told you so'.

"That is not appropriate for school, Mr. Nott," McGonagall spluttered, looking scandalized.

"We're not in school. These are dancing lessons. Or, did I hear that wrong?" Theodore looked genuinely confused on the matter. "Not really the point, I just wanted to make sure I was the first," he strode around her. All students had stopped by now, as this was apparently much more interesting then dancing.

"He's coming over here," Rae whispered in my ear, so softly that I barely heard her. I scoffed, watching Theodore walk confidently across the hall. Surprisingly, he looked right back, still grinning. Once he reached the edge of the rows of seats, he paused, looking up at me.

"Alexa. My companion, my friend, my love. Go to the ball with me?" he held out a hand, where a large bouquet of yellow roses appeared gracefully out of nowhere. He proceeded to bow slightly, looking up at me through his hair.

The whole hall actually gasped theatrically. A few girls actually screamed. Rae seemed to be having a heart attack beside me as she stealthily stomped on my foot. I held back a laugh, only grinning slightly as I stood, walking down the raised seats until I was standing on the ground in front of him. Theodore offered me the flowers.

"Yellow?" I murmured, accepting them carefully as if they were going to fall apart in my hands.

"Your favorite color," he replied quietly. I was sure nobody else could hear the conversation.

I couldn't believe he remembered that. In reply, I smiled up at him. "Okay," I agreed at normal volume.

No joke. Everyone in the Great Hall burst out into applause, cheering as loud as they possibly could. Theodore wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into a hug. "You're beautiful," he stated quietly into my ear, while everyone else continued to shout and whoop.

"And you're insane," I shook my head, burying my face into his shoulder. I couldn't hear his laugh, but I felt it vibrate through his chest. It was a good feeling.

•••

_**Yule Ball**_

_**25 December 1994**_

"You...what?" I couldn't breathe as I gaped at him. He wouldn't. Just because I wouldn't- doesn't mean he would just-

I couldn't even think straight, much less speak coherently to him.

"Alex-" Theodore reached out towards me. He looked like he was in shock, like he had no idea what was going on. I backed away from him, tripping over the staircase as I did my best to distance myself from him. We were some of the last people in the hall, only a few couples were still sitting together in secluded corners. A few girls were sitting on a distant staircase, heads together and whispering to each other.

"Get away from me," I snarled, half choking over the words. I still couldn't believe that he would do that. It was unthinkable. I couldn't even begin to comprehend the situation. "Is that the only reason you even went through all this effort?" I gestured openly to his whole ensemble. "Just let me know next time, save us all the efforts on fake romance," I tripped over another step, grabbing ahold of the banister to catch myself.

Theodore looked ready to reach out and steady me, but he stopped. "It wasn't fake," he muttered.

"Oh yeah? Something had to be fake Nott, and it was either me, or-" I was cut off by his suddenly scandalized and seething expression. He was up the stairs and standing over me in mere seconds, blocking my escape by placing his arm against the railing that I was still steadying myself on.

"So that's it? We're down to last names now? You're going to throw away our whole friendship for this?"

"Well, 'this' is a big fucking deal!" I shouted, feeling angry tears fall down my face.

His face softened. "Lex, honestly, I'm-"

"If you're about to apologize, I'd rather you throw yourself off the Astronomy Tower," I spat, shoving him away from me.

"Do you really mean that?"

I mouthed wordlessly at him before trying to wipe my eyes. My hands came away covered in mascara, but I didn't care. "Back off Nott. Don't talk to me, don't try and see me. In fact, don't even try and come near me. We're-" I gestured back and forth between the two of us, "and whatever this was, is done. I would never jeopardize a friendship with what you just did. You're despicable, I hope you know that."

And with that, I pushed his arm aside and went running away from the first guy that I might've actually fallen for.

•••

_**Fifth Year**_

_**15 November 1995**_

It was Hagrid's first lesson since he'd been back. We were all standing in the Forbidden Forest, watching the empty clearing. A cow carcass lay there, waiting. I was standing as far away from the rest of the Slytherins as possible, leaning against a tree with my arms crossed over my chest.

"Put yer hands up...who can see em'?" Hagrid asked loudly. Having been pointedly glaring at the ground, I glanced up through my hair to watch the students. Harry Potter, that Longbottom kid, and...Theodore.

I saw the disgusted expression on his face, but quickly averted my eyes. I was still unable to look at him. I knew he was trying to catch my gaze, as he had been doing all year. I pushed down tears of fury, focusing on the strips of flesh that were being ripped from the cow, disappearing into thin air.

"Excuse me, but what exactly are we supposed to be looking at?" Malfoy sneered, his lip curled in distain. Pansy Parkinson was draping herself over his shoulder, giggling stupidly. I rolled my eyes, not meaning to, but accidentally catching a glimpse of Theodore. He looked rather ill.

The whole class erupted into shrieks and questions once Hagrid pointed out the cow carcass being eaten. "Righ', now, who can tell me why some o' yeh can see 'em an' some can't?" Hagrid asked. Of course, Granger put up her hand.

"The only people who can see Thestrals are people who have seen death," she recalled solemnly.

Unseen by anyone but me, Theodore turned around and left the clearing.

•••

_**Fifth Year (cont.)**_

_**16 November 1995**_

It was sometime in the middle of the night. I wasn't sleeping well anyway, as the new Prefect dorm was strange and made me feel slightly uncomfortable. Fifth Year Prefects shared one dorm between all houses, so there were eight of us sharing the common room. Four corners of the living space were designated to each house.

I rolled over for the billionth time, now on my stomach with my hands tucked under my chin. I looked at the silver bedsheets, as they were the only thing I could see clearly in the darkness. I jumped with quiet tapping could be heard against the window. Admittedly, this was a new experience, as this dorm was actually above ground. It was the first time I hadn't been underground, with a window that didn't look into the lake.

A school owl was hovering outside my window, tapping at the glass in his attempts to get inside. I slid out of bed, crossing the room and sliding open the window. The owl flew inside, landing on my bed and dropping a slip of paper there before taking off through the window again. I closed it quickly, as the cold air gave me goosebumps. I picked up the short letter, reading it with mixed and almost painful emotions raging through me.

_Alexa-_

_I'm sorry. Truly, I am. Believe me, even though I know you won't._

_I need to see you. You know why. You're the only one that does._

_Slytherin side of the lake. Please come._

_-TN_

I went. I wasn't even sure why. I couldn't just let him suffer. So I snuck down through the school, going into that part of the dungeons that nobody knew about, out to the little ledge by the lake. It was nearly pitch black down here, the light from my wand only helped a little. Eventually, I found him. He sat next to the lake, flicking small rocks into the water.

"Be glad I'm a good person," I grumbled, tripping over another rock before I finally sat next to him.

"I am," he agreed, turning his eyes towards me. They were full of unreadable emotion, and I couldn't deny that I'd missed him. I didn't dare voice the feeling aloud, because if I did, I'd end up forgiving him right there. "Thank you," he mumbled, tossing the rest of his handful of rocks into the water.

"Are you okay?" I tried to ask indifferently, but I wasn't sure how well I did.

"No," he replied honestly. I didn't say anything, waiting for him to say whatever he wanted to say. After a moment, Theodore took a large breath. "When I was a kid, and my father would come home, mum used to come and find me. She'd say it was a game, that we had to hide. Every night, we would pick a different hiding place, underneath a bed, behind bookshelves, under blankets. She would smile, tell me to be very quiet, and we waited together. My father would go pass out after about an hour, after which we would go eat whatever dessert we could find in the house.

"I didn't realize until much later that she was protecting me. I was ten, the first time I watched him beat her. I wanted to do something, anything to help her, but I couldn't move. I pretended that I didn't know, because I loved it when she was happy. Now that she's gone-" he took another deep breath, leaning back against a rock and crossing his arms over his chest,

"Now that she's gone, he can't hurt her anymore. I would have done anything to ensure that when I was little, and knew that it was happening. In a way, I am happy that she died, so she won't suffer because of him anymore."

"Nott-" I started. His surname was still a strange feeling in my mouth. I just couldn't bring myself to call him by his first.

"That's not it," he cut me off. "Ever hear abuse stories? That the abuser will not and can not just stop hurting people? Well, it's true," he finished in a quiet mumble. I watched his fingers brush his own chest, and I was sure that he didn't realize the action. It took me a minute to comprehend what he was saying, but when I realized it, I choked.

"You mean- he- to you?" I spluttered, unable to actually form the question. Theodore nodded. I scooted closer to him, unable to hold back curiosity. He looked shocked when I pushed his shirt out of the way, but allowed my inspection. It was true, long scars were scattered across his chest and stomach. I was sure his back had similar markings on it. My hand hovered a few inches away from his skin, wanting to touch him, but not wanting to at the same time. Theodore didn't give me a choice, because he caught my hand in his and placed it in the middle of his chest. It was hardened and well defined, though I felt the raised areas of freshly healed skin.

"Alex," he was looking at me, his other hand lightly lifting my chin so I looked away from his injuries and into his face. As always, his eyes were that much more mesmerizing up close. I flinched away from him, scooting backwards.

"Sorry. It's cold out here," I gestured to his exposed skin lamely. Theodore looked confused, then shook his head.

"I don't care," he muttered. He followed me across the rocks until he managed to get me backed into another taller piece of stone. "I miss you," he informed me seriously, his face only inches from mine. "You miss me too. I see it in your face."

I couldn't reply, but I felt myself nod once. I tried to look away from him, but Theodore's fingers caught my chin again.

"I'm sorry. I'll say it every day if I have to. I don't deserve you, and you definitely deserve better then me. But I can't live with you avoiding me like this. I'll do anything by this point, which you should appreciate because I'd never be this honest with anyone else."

I felt like crying, but I couldn't do it. My breath was already short, I was unable to breath or think properly while he was this close to me. As always, flickers of love were ignited in my stomach, a feeling that I was unable to fight down.

"First, back up, just a bit," I finally choked. Theodore obliged. I stood up shakily. Now we were both standing. He was taller then me. I looked at him for a few minutes. "I believe you," I finally admitted. He smiled. It was a real smile, one that seemed to even make his hair brighter. I shook my head. "That doesn't mean we're okay. You understand that we will never be the same, right?"

"Yeah," he mumbled, guilt flashing through his eyes.

"We'll work on it," I brushed hair off his forehead. "I'm still calling you Nott though."

"I'm not going to call you Zabini," he replied simply. I just gave him a small smile, turning and heading back into the castle.

It was that moment that I officially realized that I had been in love with Theodore Nott. I probably still was, but it wasn't the kind that I had felt before. I forgave him in that moment, but that was something that I wouldn't tell him until the end of that year. We couldn't just end our whole relationship. He knew me better then anyone. I knew him just as well. We would always be there for each other, no matter what. Nevertheless, our whole relationship had shattered that night in Fourth Year, something that now had to be rebuilt. I would always love him, even if it wouldn't ever be the right kind of love again.

•••

_**Present Day**_

Stupid flashbacks. I was left feeling rather overwhelmed as I considered everything that had happened. In the end, I was broken out of my recollections by a loud _pop!_ that echoed around my bedroom. I sat bolt upright, shocked out of my haze of thinking.

"Morning Miss!" a house elf that I didn't recognize was standing at the foot of my bed. I glanced around at the clock. It was indeed, morning. I'd spent the whole night in my half conscious swirl of memory. No wonder I was tired.

"Um, hi," I greeted the small elf.

"I've been sent to deliver a message!" she squeaked cheerfully. She held up a tightly bound scroll. I took it from her, smiling at her ecstatic expression at having completed her assignment.

"Thanks," I said genuinely, nodding to her. She looked completely overjoyed, bowed once, and disappeared. I unrolled the parchment, finding slanted handwriting that I recognized to be Dumbledore's.

_Good morning Alexa,_

_If I'm not mistaken, we agreed to start lessons today. I believe that 10:00 in the evening should be an acceptable time. Please come to my office then. I do hope you enjoy the rest of your Monday._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

Well. That arrangement seemed like it had been made forever ago. I rubbed my eyes vigorously, picking up my bag and leaving my bedroom. I was pretty sure I was late, considering that there was no sign of Draco. Not that I was complaining. The last thing I needed at that moment was to come across him, alone in the common room. I may just die from too many things to think about.

Oh yeah, and I can't fail Arithmancy.

I love school.

* * *

**Yeah, sorry there's no Draco in this one...I thought we needed an informative flashback chapter! What do you think of Theodore in previous years? Don't forget to leave a wonderful review :) because reviews motivate me to publish chapter 18 sooner!**

**Bye for now everyone! **


	18. The First Lesson

**Hey all! **

**I'm sure you'd all like to get along with the chapter, I know I'm dying for you to read it! However, I want to say something really quick, before we start. After last chapter, I got a majority of reviews telling me that you're all swapping over to shipping Alexa/Theodore. First off, I'm flattered that you love their past relationship so much that you're so into seeing them together. Though secondly and more importantly, I feel slightly guilty for making you all swap. That really wasn't my intention, to have you all vote for Theodore, and I'd hate to make any of you upset. I am so very glad you all told me what you were thinking though, it means a lot to have such devoted readers. I don't know what else I can say, I really just wanted to let you all know what I was thinking in return.**

**So, yeah! Sorry, I really felt the need to say something concerning all those comments. I'll be quiet now, you all didn't come here for me! You came for chapter 18! And here it is, just for you. Carry on, enjoy!**

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It wasn't until Potions that afternoon that I was forced into close proximity with Draco. He was already there when I entered the classroom with Rae, looking surly. I felt twitchy and nervous, considering that I had yet to inform Rae on the previous night's events. It didn't help that Hermione caught my eye as I passed her, with an obvious 'we need to talk' expression on her face.

Blaise flicked my elbow as I walked around him to sit on the other end of the circular table. I whacked him with my bag in retaliation. Yay for sibling rivalry!

I had to sit next to Draco, only because that was where I normally sat. Everyone would question me if I didn't. Also, he had forced me to promise to keep that seat, because Pansy Parkinson would wheedle her way into it if I didn't. Aren't I a good 'trial' friend? Come to think of it, were we really 'trial' friends anymore? We hadn't had the discussion that brought us into a normal friendship, but maybe the impromptu kiss in the Astronomy Tower was a strange alternative.

Needless to say, my brain wouldn't shut up. It was because of this that I tripped over my own feet, falling awkwardly into the chair. Rae snickered, moving to sit on my other side. I huffed, righting myself slowly. I glanced around at the feeling of someone watching me. Draco was leaning back on two legs of his chair, scrutinizing me with one eyebrow raised.

"The floor...is slippery," I muttered lamely. He tilted his head back in a brief nod, looking amused. "Shut up," I turned around again, internally begging myself not to blush. I couldn't look at him without the memory of the kiss flashing through my head.

"You look ill," Rae informed me helpfully.

"Thanks," I grumbled in reply, crossing my arms on the desk and resting my head on top. "I'm so tired," my voice was muffled through my arms. It was true, my lack of sleep the previous night had caught up to me all day. Now with a daunting double Potions period followed by Herbology, I didn't have high hopes for the remainder of the day. And I had Dumbledore's lesson that night. Fun.

Once Slughorn gave us our assigned potion, I stood up and headed for the store cupboard, textbook in hand as reference. As I reached up to retrieve Valerian root, another hand grabbed it from under mine. "What-" I turned around, only to find myself uncomfortably close to Draco. He stood impressively over me, making me fall backwards against the shelves.

"Are we going to talk? Or are you going to keep avoiding me?" he asked, voice low and almost a little intimidating.

"I'm not avoiding you," I mumbled, trying to distance myself from him just a little bit. All I got was a jar of rat spleens jammed into my back.

"On the contrary," he turned his head slightly in a negative. "I've barely seen you all day. You definitely refuse to look me in the eye," he moved slightly so he was back in my line of vision. I couldn't contradict him on that.

"What are you two _doing_?" a voice asked from the doorway. Internally, I screamed in relief. Hermione stood there, looking shocked, yet very determined.

"None of your business, Granger," Draco snarled back. His hand was suddenly resting against my stomach, keeping me pinned against the shelves. I wondered vaguely what compelled him to do so, though I paid more attention to the pleasant tingles his hand seemed to send through my robes and into my skin. "Well?" he turned back to me, as if Hermione wasn't standing there.

"Malfoy. Leave Alexa alone," Hermione demanded firmly. I had to be impressed by her nerve, standing up to Draco when he looked ready to start throwing hexes. He frowned and his lip curled as he looked back towards her.

"Just, go," I mumbled. "We'll talk later, I promise."

He whipped his head back towards me, giving me a hard look. I, proving him right for a second time, looked away from his face. Draco seemed ready to say something, but the pressure he was creating against my stomach disappeared instead. He stepped back an inch or so, held up the root in signal that he was taking it back with him, and strode from the small room.

Hermione side-stepped him quickly, as he would've run into her if she didn't. "What's going on?" she asked, once he had vanished.

"Honestly? I have no idea," I shrugged. "We'll talk in the library tomorrow, right?"

"Definitely," she agreed.

"Great. See you then," I grabbed some powdered unicorn horn before hurrying away back to the table.

After a thankfully uneventful Herbology lesson of Sprout lecturing us on Bubotuber Pus, Rae and I were walking back towards the castle together. I purposefully walked slower then I normally would, letting everyone get ahead of us.

"What, do you have lead up your ass?" Rae finally questioned eloquently.

"I don't want to go to dinner," I admitted.

"Why? You must be starving, cause you're always starving. I know I am," Rae looked at me curiously. "What happened to you? You've been acting weird all day."

"Hermione is actually my friend, I really miss Theodore, and Draco kissed me on top of the Astronomy Tower," I listed, all in one quick breath.

Rae gaped at me. "I'll be right back," she said, running off into the Great Hall. I waited. After a few minutes she returned, bearing two huge bowls of pasta. We found a mostly deserted corridor on the second floor. "Alright, spill," she demanded, handing me one of the bowls with a fork and plopping herself down onto the floor.

I told her everything about my building friendship with the female member of the Golden Trio, my realization of my previous love for Theodore, and my new relationship with Draco that might be going a little bit beyond friendship. I had to avoid real details about Theodore, because nobody knew why he had disappeared, and I was obviously not allowed to tell anyone. I just claimed that I didn't know where he went. As I talked, a felt a huge sense of relief. Rae was my best friend, it had been weird to keep all of this from her. It was good to finally explain it all.

The explanation took me awhile, as the sky was darkened and star scattered by the time I finished. After I was done explaining, Rae frowned over her food. "Okay," she stated. "First, I think it's weird that you're friends with a muggle-born. But you're a rebellious pureblood, so I respect that. I also don't really care about the huge prejudices, so I guess I'm indifferent. Just don't replace me as your best friend," she grinned at me.

"Course not," I smirked.

"Second, I always knew you were in love with Theodore. Ever since Fourth Year really. And after all that happened, I get why you were so angry at him. It's a good sign that you miss him though."

"I forgave him for that," I mumbled.

"No you didn't. Not really. You're not the type. Or, maybe you forgave, but you sure as hell didn't forget. You always thought he'd do it again. I also know that you don't love him like you used to."

"You know a lot," I mocked.

"I'm your best friend. I see these things," she grinned. "Third, why in the world haven't you jumped Draco yet?"

I choked on the pasta. "_What_?" I coughed, staring at her through slightly watering eyes.

Rae burst out laughing. "You totally want to. This proves it," she sighed heavily. "I guess I'm going to have to learn to live with him now, considering that you're actually about to fall for him."

"I am not," I declared loudly.

"Are too," Rae shook her head. "I wish Sterling was here. We could gang up on you. It's so obvious. You need to go for Draco! For one, it'll piss Parkinson off to no end. Two, who _better_ for you to lose it to? He _is_ Slytherin's sex god, as you're well aware of."

Have I mentioned, that Rae has no desire to be tactful when it comes to these kinds of conversations?

"Thank you, for speaking so openly about my virginity," I mumbled, running my hands over my face.

"Please. I'd tell you in explicit detail about my own wonderful sex life, but I refrain, because you'd hate me forever for educating you on your brother in such vulgar terms," she waved a hand dismissively.

I started hacking again, gaping at her. "Excuse me. New developments. You're having sex with Blaise now too?"

"Well if that's not sex, I don't know what is," she gave me a suggestive wink.

"Oh god. Just go away," I mumbled.

"Ooh, delicious male alert. He looks rather furious," Rae lowered her voice, looking around me down the hall.

"Oh, shit," I'd forgotten that I had promised Draco that I would talk to him later. I jumped up and turned, only to find him right in front of me. He ended up backing me down the hall, advancing as if he was about to attack.

"You said you'd stop avoiding me," he finally yanked my arm, making me stumble to a stop.

"I'm not avoiding you!" I exclaimed, my voice a slightly higher pitch then usual. He scoffed loudly. "Honest! I was talking to Rae," I gestured with my other hand. "Come on, vouch for me," I shot in her direction. She had stood up too, but still stood by the wall we'd been sitting at.

"I don't think it would do much good," she mumbled. I saw her watching Draco's back with a sort of fear.

"Oh come on, he's not that scary," I scoffed, attempting to pry Draco's hand off my arm.

"Come now Zabini. You know that's not true," he growled, his grip tightening.

"Okay, fine, you're scary. Can you let go now? You're going to bruise my arm."

Draco just stared down at me with an unsympathetic expression before leading me away from the corridor. "Bye Getzinger," he called over his shoulder pointedly.

"What the hell is your problem?" I demanded, stumbling as he dragged me along with him. "You could just, you know, _ask_ me to go with you! It would be much less painful for all of us."

"Well, besides the fact that you're lying to me, you're acting much younger then you actually are, you're being maddeningly irrational, and you're getting a mudblood to fight your battles for you, I have no problem," he listed angrily, continuing to drag me across the Entrance Hall.

"That is not okay," I snapped.

"What? Mudblood? Deal with it."

"No! I'm telling you right now, that isn't okay. If you want to have a rational conversation with me, you'll refrain from calling Hermione that. I'm being kidnapped!" I hollered at a group of Fourth Year Ravenclaws who were walking by. They just looked horrified at the whole scene.

"Does the term 'come quietly' mean anything to you?" Draco grumbled.

"Sure, but I choose not to act on that philosophy. God, nobody is going to help me. Damn you...and your..._reputation!_" I continued to try and get away from his grip. We were in the Quad now, and he finally threw me away from him. "About time," I muttered, making a show of straightening my robes.

"We need to discuss this," he informed me, crossing his arms cross his chest. His hair glowed white and his face was strangely flawless looking in the glow created in the otherwise dark Quad from some of the castle lights behind him.

"So I gathered," I stuck my tongue out at him. It was childish and probably unnecessary, but I had felt the urge to retaliate in some way. "I wasn't aware we had anything to discuss."

"Yeah, because having a panic attack over a kiss is no means for a conversation," Draco countered.

"Maybe that was just some random kiss for you, but it sure wasn't for me," I snapped, feeling my face heat up at actually saying that to him. Surprisingly, he didn't mock me. He didn't even smirk. He just stood there, his expression plainly urging me to continue. I sighed slightly. "I don't know Draco, honestly, I don't. I'd be lying if I said that I'm upset or disgusted over it, and I'm not so sure that's a good thing."

The smallest of smiles flitted across his face. He inclined his head slightly. "Then I'm sorry," he stated.

"Were you only going to apologize during certain circumstances?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"If you were one hundred percent outraged, I wouldn't have apologized," he agreed. "That circumstance would mean you hated me again, therefore I would have no reason to express genuine regret."

"You regret kissing me?"

"No," he completely smirked at me this time. "I regret making you react the way you did. I never thought that whole situation would end quite like that," he uncrossed his arms, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. It was a lazy slouch that only he seemed to be able to pull off.

"Oh, so you've thought about kissing me?" I rolled my eyes, focusing on a spot over his shoulder.

"Please," his tone made me look at him. "Every straight male has thought about kissing you."

I scoffed loudly. "Doubtful."

Draco sighed, looking at me with an unreadable expression. "You can't see how others see you," he said simply.

I couldn't stop the small smile that appeared on my face. Unsure how to reply to that, I felt myself relax slightly. I looked up at him. "Can I ask you a question?" I mumbled. He tilted his head in affirmative. "Can we just be normal friends? I think our 'trial' friendship is causing more problems then its solving."

He almost laughed. "Regular genius, you are."

"Shut up," I mumbled. Unable to stop from acting on my irrational ideas, I stepped forward and wound my arms around his waist. I felt his face fall against the top of my head before he took one hand out of his pocket to entwine his fingers through my hair. His palm rested against my neck as he pulled me closer with that hand.

Of course, the clock tower had to strike 10:00 P.M. at that precise moment.

"Oh shit," I jumped violently, pulling away from him. Draco looked at me with an almost exasperated expression. "Not another panic attack," I assured him, recognizing that question in his face. "I honestly have to go. I'm late."

"What are you late to at ten o' clock in the evening?"

"Meeting with Snape," I blurted, probably a little too quickly. It was the first thing I could think of, and I wasn't sure if it was technically a lie. Dumbledore did say that he was going to help out with these strange lessons. "See you later?"

"Sure," he nodded. I knew he had turned to watch me as I sprinted back for the castle. I took stairs three at a time as I mounted floors towards Dumbledore's office. After managing to pant the password at the gargoyle, I scaled the moving staircase as quickly as possible before knocking on the large door.

"Ah, Alexa! You made it," Dumbledore said cheerfully as the door swung open by itself.

"Sorry I'm late, professor. Lost track of time," I caught my breath as I spoke, standing in the middle of the office.

"No matter, please, come in," he beckoned me towards his desk. I sat down, still breathing harder then usual. Dumbledore waited with a small smile on his face. Once I was breathing almost normally again, he brought his hands together slowly. The action revealed his withered and blackened hand, something that I'd refrained from asking him about during the previous meetings. I still didn't question, as I was sure he wouldn't tell me.

"Sir, I have one question. Before we start," I burst before he could speak.

"Splendid, my dear girl. Ask away," he looked genuinely pleased by my words.

"You said that Occlumency will protect my thoughts, right?" I verified. Dumbledore nodded. "So, if Voldemort looks into my head and everything is just blocked, won't he know that I'm hiding something?"

"A very interesting question," he nodded in an almost approving manner. "A good Occlumens is able to create false thoughts, which if created strongly enough, will trick the Legilimens into believing that they are seeing a real memory. That is the stage that we must get to."

"Oh. Alright," I nodded before falling silent.

Dumbledore stood up. "Now. First, you must understand one thing. Occlumency is a very difficult branch of magic, something that wizards ten times as powerful as you are now can scarcely hope to master. You, Alexa, must learn this skill in a matter of weeks. Professor Snape and I have devised means to assist you. You must know that these plans are far from pleasant, but keep in mind that they are absolutely necessary."

"Sounds fun," I grimaced. "I suppose that you're not going to tell me anything about these 'plans' first?"

"I'm afraid not," Dumbledore allowed a smile. "In the most optimistic of terms, it is a surprise."

"I may have to rethink my liking of surprises," I mumbled.

"I can give you a means of preparation," Dumbledore continued on. "Being able to clear your mind is essential. That is the first step to hiding your thoughts from a Legilimens trying to see them. This is harder then it sounds, considering that the briefest thought may betray you. Once you have mastered the ability to keep your mind blank, it gets tricky. Creating a flawless memory from scratch takes effort and concentration, a small momentary lapse can shatter even the baseline of an artificial thought process."

"So...it's like a distraction?"

"I've never heard it described that way. Care to elaborate?" Dumbledore looked genuinely interested, pausing in his pacing around the room.

"Well, if your false memory is strong enough and believable enough, it would deter whomever is looking through your head from continuing trying to look at all your thoughts," I said slowly, hoping that I wasn't just going drastically off the point.

"Precisely," Dumbledore nodded in a sort of satisfaction. "I see you've already started to figure out the plan for your audience with Voldemort. I believe that if he sees what he wants and expects to see, he will not pry to much into your mind."

"Which means if I have thoughts only about helping him and joining the Death Eaters, he won't suspect that I'm actually spying for the Order?"

"It might be good to add how much you despise me as a Headmaster," Dumbledore mused. "And how you believe that Harry Potter is an insignificant boy with too much luck. Other then that, you're exactly right!"

I laughed slightly. "I'll do my best. How do I start actually learning this?"

"I do believe that Professor Snape should be arriving-" Dumbledore glanced around at the sound of a sharp door knock. "Now!" he finished. The door swung open. "Excellent timing Severus."

"Evening, Headmaster," Snape swept into the room quickly. "Miss Zabini."

"Hello, professor," I looked up at him as he stood by Dumbledore's desk.

"I think it's time we begin!" Dumbledore said happily. "Alexa, if you would please stand."

I did so, standing in the middle of the room as Dumbledore waved his wand around to clear space. Snape stood across the office from me, holding his wand out. "Uh-" I held my hands up quickly. "Before I forget and before you do...whatever it is you're going to do, can I ask for a favor?"

"What favor is that?" Snape looked skeptical.

"Can you give me detentions or something? Whenever these lessons are going to take place? Slytherins aren't idiots, they're all going to suspect something if I keep wandering off like I just did."

Dumbledore started laughing. Snape just continued to look at me without emotion. Finally, the Head of House scoffed quietly. "I believe that can be arranged," he nodded once. "Legilimens!" he pointed his wand at me again.

I saw memory after memory. I was unable to actually see each one, they were all flashing by to quickly. I had no control over anything. I saw brief flashes, for some reason a lot of them contained Pokey. Draco's face appeared here and there, as did Theodore's. At some point, the memory of the classroom flashed through my head. On Halloween, and Theodore was holding me up against the wall, his eyes morphed into an angry black.

"STOP!" I heard my own scream, and I was suddenly sitting on something hard. My vision cleared, and I found that I was sitting on the ground, hands braced shakily on either side of me. "S-sorry," I choked.

"Pitiful," Snape scoffed. "It's Potter all over again."

I ignored the surge of anger, pushing myself upright in one motion. I was slightly off balance, but I refused to let either of them notice. "What am I supposed to do about Theodore?" I asked Dumbledore, ignoring Snape's angry expression.

"Ah. We've already hit that snag," Dumbledore sighed. "So far, we've managed to keep Mr. Nott's discovered condition hidden from Voldemort."

"You're telling me that Voldemort still thinks that Theodore's...uh, _involved_ with me?"

"Precisely," Dumbledore looked slightly guilty. "We'd like to keep it that way. And knowing Voldemort, he'll look for, to put it nicely, _proof_."

"_That's_ the memory you want me to fake?" I gaped.

"One of them, yes," Dumbledore agreed.

"Great. Just...great. Positively fantastic. How the _hell _am I supposed to come up with that? Where does he think Theodore even is, anyway?"

"Here," was the simple answer. "Voldemort had no knowledge that Mr. Nott failed with you and didn't succeed with his mission of sneaking mail in and out. Not that the latter situation is any of your concern."

"So he's just going to be conveniently absent from this little Christmas gathering?"

"That has yet to be determined. This is all something that we can sort out on a later date. I believe that now, we must focus on getting you skilled at Occlumency. After that, we can work on your new memories, and we should have more information on Mr. Nott's whereabouts."

"Alright," I agreed grudgingly.

Dumbledore smiled. "Shall we try again?"

"Sure," I faced Snape. He raised his wand.

_I was six, falling from my broomstick into a hedge in the middle of Malfoy Manor. Draco just laughed as he continued to fly by._

_It was my eighth birthday, and I was eating cake in the deserted kitchens with nobody else but one house elf._

_After I'd punched Draco, Theodore was climbing out of the bush towards me._

_Sailor got sorted into Gryffindor. My mother sent me a howler that blamed me for it._

_I was climbing up the Astronomy Tower after losing the Quidditch match._

I couldn't let that memory show. In a surge of resistance, I imagined an actual brick wall that separated the staircase from the rest of the memory. I wasn't sure what this accomplished, but the whole thought process suddenly faded. It was like my whole mind had gotten rained on. Moments later, whatever force was present in my head pulled away. My vision cleared, and I was looking at Snape's raised eyebrow.

"What happened in the Astronomy Tower?" he asked disinterestedly.

"Isn't that the point of suppressing memories? I didn't want you to know," I blurted before I could think up a better answer.

Snape glared at me, ultimately making me feel self-conscious. I started fidgeting, just awkwardly standing there. "She succeeded," he finally turned and spoke to Dumbledore.

"Excellent!" the Headmaster looked surprised, yet pleased. "This is wonderful Alexa, I believe that we will be able to carry out our plan preparations quicker then I expected."

"I didn't hide anything though," I frowned, confused. "I just stopped the memory from finishing."

"Which is the first step," Dumbledore nodded. "From that point, you have the ability to create a _different_ memory and replace it with the one you have. For example, you could've been going to the Astronomy Tower because you lost something. But if you didn't want Professor Snape to know that, say, it was something that wouldn't be appreciated by your authority figures, you could make an all new memory. One that showed in great detail how you went to the Astronomy Tower because the stars were especially bright that evening, and you wanted to witness their beauty."

"Right," I mumbled. "I _don't _have anything that wouldn't be appreciated by authority figures," I gestured vaguely towards the two of them. "If you were wondering."

"I believe you had the missing porcupine in those first memories," Snape called me out quickly.

"That's not the missing porcupine!" I shrieked, much too quickly and very unconvincingly. "That's my porcupine. His name is Pokey. Ask Draco, if you don't believe me."

_On second thought, I doubt Draco would back be up on that one_.

Dumbledore however, chuckled. "A little harmless rule breaking isn't so bad," he claimed jovially. "However, I do believe that we shall keep that bit of information to ourselves. Professor McGonagall is still, quite upset by that incident."

I felt my face turn red. "It may not be my place to ask, but can we keep _all_ thing things you happen to see in my head to yourselves?"

"A given my dear, I assure you," Dumbledore looked completely serious. "However, I believe that our lesson should conclude for this evening. I think there's a Muggle saying, 'quit while you're ahead'," he nodded to himself seriously. "Goodnight, Alexa."

"Night, professors," I was all to happy to get out of there. I hurried down the levels of the castle. After what seemed like hours, I finally reached the common room. I burst inside, breathing a sigh of relief. Surprisingly, Draco was sprawled on the couch, reading a book.

As I fell into my armchair, he sat up normally in order to look at me. "You look horrible," he informed me simply.

"Ha. Look who's talking," I grumbled in reply. He still looked sick, with skin paler then ever and dark circles under his eyes that made it look like he hadn't slept in months. "Say..." I grinned slowly, watching Pokey walk around in lazy circles in front of the fireplace. "If anyone, I don't know, _asked_ about Pokey, you wouldn't rat me out or anything...right?" I gave him my best innocent smile.

Draco frowned, looking at me disapprovingly. "Should I expect an interrogation?"

"Not necessarily," I shrugged. "Just an innocent question. You know, a fleeting thought. Nothing important," I twiddled my thumbs, looking up at the ceiling. "Would you, though?"

"Yes," he claimed, completely straight faced.

"What?" I stared at him, wide-eyed. "Really?"

Draco rolled his eyes, scoffing. "Sarcasm Lex, honestly. Ever hear of it? Of course I wouldn't. For one, you might actually murder me because I was responsible for taking away your pet. I think it has been learned by everyone not to stand between you and animals," he glared accusingly at Pokey. He looked surly, but one of his words made my mouth drop and my brain freeze. "What?" he looked somewhat taken aback by my expression.

"You- called me Lex," I informed him, still slightly dumbstruck.

"And?" he tried to look disinterested, but I saw him mentally hit himself. It was almost funny.

"Barely anyone calls me that," I mumbled.

"Did you not want me to?"

"No!" I said, probably a little to quickly. "No, it's just different, that's all. Good different. Never mind," I looked at the table in front of my knees, feeling rather stupid. I knew he was still staring at me, which I pointedly ignored.

I kept my eyes on the table as he stood up. I watched him set his book on the table like it was the most fascinating thing I'd ever seen. He stood next to me now, but I pretended like I didn't notice. So briefly that I barely felt it, his hand brushed over the top of my head. His lips rested against the same spot seconds afterward. "Goodnight, Lex," he murmured against my hair.

Despite how much I refused to acknowledge their presence, shivers raced up and down my spine. "Night, Draco," I whispered in reply, still not looking away from the all exciting book lying on the table. His hand disappeared and I listened to his bedroom door close quietly as he left.

My insides felt like they were on fire. A good kind of fire, one that suddenly gave me the sudden urge to follow Draco into his room. Instead, I slumped into the chair and rubbed my eyes violently.

This was _not_ okay.

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**There you have it! Chapter 18 has come and gone. Don't forget to leave a lovely review on your way out? Thanks!**


	19. A Glimpse into the Mind of Rae Getzinger

**Look! Chapter 19! I've been excited about this chapter for awhile, I'm so happy you guys finally get to read it! If the title didn't already give it away, this is indeed a chapter from the point of view of none other then Rae Getzinger! A small peek into the life of Alexa's best friend :)**

**I do want to give a small warning before we start...this chapter has _suggestive__ themes_! So...I don't know, I guess I'm a little wary about starting on the suggestive stuff, given FanFiction's new thing on rating restrictions...I'm not changing the rating of my story as of this moment though, because I really don't think anything I've written is over the limit of a T rating...I just wanted to put that little nugget of warning out there though, without giving anything from the chapter away.**

**Anyway, please continue into the mind of Rae!**

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Rae Getzinger was angry. Honestly though, who could blame her? Her best friend was about to fall for Draco Malfoy. In what world was that possible? Probably the same world that finally made Blaise see sense and finally ask her to go to Hogsmeade with him.

"Your best friend is vile," she grumbled, standing with her arms crossed in front of the Italian, who was sitting in one of the Slytherin common room couches.

"I've heard that from a few people now," Blaise barely looked phased as he glanced up at her. "You look beautiful, by the way."

"No I don't, I just came from the gross Herbology greenhouse and ate a massive bowl of pasta. That doesn't add up to any form of attractive in any circumstance," she scoffed. Blaise gave her a shrug as a reply, beckoning her forward. Rae grinned, falling gratefully into his lap. One of his arms supported her back while his other hand rested on her leg. She leaned against his shoulder, huffing a small sigh of relief.

"You smell like dirt," he commented after a minute.

Rae grimaced, even though she doubted he could see her face. "I know! Didn't I tell you I came from Herbology? Thanks for confirming my suspicions on how bad the smell really is," she made to get up, but his arm tightened around her waist.

"When did I say anything about it being a bad smell?" Blaise asked simply.

"Since when is dirt a good smell?"

"Since it's paired with the faint smell of pasta," he replied, without so much as a waver in voice tone. Rae sat up slightly to look at him. Blaise smiled innocently at her. "Which would ultimately circle around to the fact that you _are_ indeed beautiful at this moment."

"Flirt," Rae snorted, but grinned as she hugged him. "Your best friend is still horrible though. I know that you're trying to get me off the subject."

"No, of course not! I haven't heard you rant about Draco enough, please, continue," Blaise urged sardonically.

"Alright, I will," Rae muttered, ignoring his ridicule. "You should care though, because he's got your sister in his sights. This isn't going to end well for _any_ of us. He's making her fall for him."

"Alexa isn't that stupid," Blaise actually started laughing.

"No, but it's working nonetheless. Now that Nott is gone, he's got the perfect opportunity. Malfoy isn't stupid either. He's taking the chance. I'll repeat. Your best friend is vile," she slumped further into her current chest pillow, kicking her feet though the air dejectedly.

"Would it make you feel better if I talked to him?"

"No, he's a very angry person. I don't want you guys to fight," she sighed.

"Do you want me to talk to Alex?"

"No, she'll deny everything. I'm just a complainer."

"I know," she could hear Blaise smirk as he agreed. Rae, deciding that her current location wasn't the best one, shifted so she was kneeling with her knees on either side of his legs.

"You still like me though, right?" she queried innocently, resting her arms over his shoulders. Blaise rolled his eyes while his hands settled on her waist, tugging her closer against him. Rae grinned, tightening her arms around his neck and closing the distance between them. After a long kiss that left them both breathless, Rae made a soft sound of satisfaction, leaning back slightly to sit more comfortably on his knees.

"I was going to ask you something," Blaise muttered, playing with the messy ringlets that sat against Rae's shoulders.

"Were you not going to anymore?"

"I don't know what you're going to say."

"Well. You know an awesome way to solve that?" she asked excitedly. Blaise just glanced from her hair to her face. "Ask me and find out," Rae grinned. The Italian just grunted quietly, shaking his head and pulling her forward again. Rae kissed him back, but was worried all the same. What could he want to ask her?

Their embrace was interrupted by a the common room entrance slamming shut and a loud groan as someone fell into the armchair that was placed near their couch. Rae reluctantly pulled away from the kiss, looking around at a very stressed Draco Malfoy. Blaise copied her and frowned. "What are you _doing_ here?" he asked his friend.

"Getting out of my own common room," Malfoy grumbled in reply. Rae scoffed loudly, which only caused the new arrival to look at her blankly. Truthfully, she decided that he looked sort of dead. Maybe a little ill. And very much in shock.

"What happened to you?" she asked bluntly, still not removing herself any further from Blaise.

Malfoy looked at her evenly before pulling a sneer onto his face. "None of your business, Getzinger. Get lost, I need to talk to your fuck buddy anyway," he growled.

"Hah. You're funny," Rae snorted. His insult didn't faze her, she'd heard much worse about herself and Blaise. Anyway, it was just Malfoy being his normal Slytherin self. In one fluid motion, she fell back into a couch cushion and unfolded her legs so they were draped across Blaise's lap. She tucked one arm behind her head, making a show of settling into her new position. "I've decided I'm going to jump my 'unofficial' boyfriend once you leave, so make this snappy, would you? I'll pretend not to listen," she looked pointedly at the ceiling, tapping the fingers of her free hand absently against her stomach.

"What do you want, Draco?" Blaise questioned. Rae inwardly smirked at how suddenly annoyed he sounded. That was one way to make him want Malfoy gone quickly. Noted.

"I don't know," Malfoy huffed, sounding quite unaffected by the sudden impatience. "I wasn't about to stay in that common room. With that fucking porcupine, the cat that tries to attack my door like the devil that he is, and your sister."

"What's Alexa done now?" Blaise sounded bored. Rae guessed that this topic had come up numerous times. Probably never in these circumstances though.

"Nothing," Malfoy sounded truly angry about that fact. "It was all me this time."

"Vague," Rae mumbled at the ceiling. She felt Malfoy glare at her, but ignored it.

"Fine. I was ready to accuse her of lying, which she is obviously doing. Instead, I called her 'Lex' and nearly forced her into kissing me again."

Rae was first to react, snorting out a loud laugh. She still didn't look away from the ceiling. "God you're stupid. You called her Lex? Were you high?"

"No," Malfoy surprised her by answering without even a touch of anger. She found it in herself to be amused that he actually answered the question, but dwelled more on his actual tone of voice. He sounded confused. "She was okay with it."

"Damn," Rae groaned loudly. "Stop scheming Malfoy, you're ruining this for yourself."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he claimed stubbornly.

Rae rolled her eyes, finally turning her head to glare at him. "You know what? I have no problem with you. Sure, you're a prat, you're one of the most infuriating people I've ever met, and you're on the verge of hurting my best friend, but I don't really feel strongly about you _personally _one way or another. I'm telling you that only because you need to know that I'm not about to try and sabotage you in any way. Believe it or not, I'm actually going to attempt helping you. So calm down and shut up, it'll do you good."

"How were you planning to help _me_?" he asked. Rae frowned at him, registering his snobbish tone with distain.

"Against my better judgement, I'm going to tell you about Alexa. She's someone that you _cannot_ screw around with. She needs to know exactly what's going on at a particular moment, or she freaks out and shuts down. So if you honestly want to get closer to her, you can't keep playing these games with her. Tell her what you're thinking, and if you talk to her in the right way, she'll return the favor. It's her strength and weakness at the same time. She's virtually incapable of completely trusting anyone. Especially you, seeing as she genuinely hated you for most of her life."

"What am I supposed to do with that information?" Malfoy asked, lounging backwards in the chair and attempting to look bored.

Rae rolled her eyes back towards the ceiling. "Whatever you want. I suppose that you could pull your head out of that denial cloud you're floating in, but that's just my opinion."

"Here I was, expecting this trip to be helpful," he stood up suddenly. "See you tomorrow," he directed at Blaise. Rae snickered as they did the bizarre 'guy' handshake thing, which both of them ignored. Malfoy left, off to do whatever Malfoy does when he doesn't want to be in his common room.

"I don't know why he thinks that I'll have anything worthwhile to say to him concerning my own sister," Blaise mumbled. Rae hummed to show that she heard him, moving the hand that she had tucked under her head so she could absently crack her knuckles.

"I was serious about jumping you," she informed him after a moment. She kept her eyes skyward, not looking at his expression.

"Oh really?" Blaise feigned surprise, his hand drifting in light patterns just above her knee. Rae nodded an affirmative, though she remained still, inspecting the patterns on the ceiling. Her eyes fluttered closed as his hand continued up onto her inner thigh, his fingers running across the legging covered skin slowly. "What were you waiting for?"

Rae, needing no further urging, sat up and shoved him against the opposite arm of the couch. She slipped her hands under his shirt, pressing him further into the cushion. Blaise looked up at her with a slight smirk. His hands ran down her back before attaching onto her legs, dragging her closer to him so she straddled his stomach. "Know what the best part is?" Rae murmured, her face now mere inches from his.

"What's that?"

"I know for a fact that Crabbe and Goyle and blundering around somewhere in the castle, looking for the entrance to the kitchen. Currently, you have no other roommates," she grinned down at him.

"Something tells me you set this up."

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Are you really going to question?"

"You, Rae Getzinger, are a vixen," Blaise muttered, his hands tightening against her legs.

"Surprised to hear you say that. Considering you're the most difficult guy in Slytherin to please," Rae shrugged, raking her fingernails down his chest. She felt his stomach contract in a rippling motion under her hands. She smirked, closing the distance between their lips briefly.

"You're different."

"That's probably the _lamest_ line in existence."

"It worked though, didn't it?"

"I dunno. There's only one way to find out, isn't there?" Rae freed her hands from under his shirt and wrapped them securely around his neck. With a simple growl of lust, Blaise pushed himself up, continuing to hold onto her. He stood up in a quick motion, claiming her lips with his and carrying her towards the boy's dormitory.

•••

A couple hours later, Rae was sprawled across Blaise's chest, sweaty and exhausted. "Damn," she mumbled against his skin.

The Italian chuckled, running his fingertips over her exposed back. "I take that as a compliment."

"Yeah, because you totally need an ego boost," Rae rolled her eyes, flipping over in the bed and groping around in the direction of the floor for his discarded shirt. She found it after a moment of searching, pulling it on. She did up a couple of buttons near the middle of the shirt, but quickly gave up. "I'm going to take a shower," she announced, heading towards the bathroom door.

"All right," Blaise agreed absently.

At the door, Rae turned back towards him. "That was kind of an invitation to come with me," she informed him with a raised eyebrow and a half smirk.

Blaise shook his head, not looking at her. "No. You go ahead."

Rae frowned, completely taken off guard. He still didn't look at her. After a second of just feeling awkward standing there, she continued on into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. It was unnecessary and she knew it, but his complete dismissive attitude had honestly shocked her. Rae turned the necessary shower knobs to get the water going before sinking into a sitting position on the edge of the shower.

As she waited for the water to get warm, she completely overreacted. She was suddenly convinced that Parkinson had been right. A couple of bed post notches later, now she was gone. Pulling his shirt slowly over her head, Rae suddenly felt ill. Nauseous as her own stupidity. She barely thought about her shower. She felt dirty, something that had nothing to do with the leftover Herbology grime under her fingernails.

Forty-five minutes later, she'd given up on the wet mess of curls she called hair. Rae pulled the shirt back over her head, buttoning it into a more modest arrangement now. It was big enough on her that it reached to the middle of her thighs. She stood in front of the closed door for another good few minutes, battling with herself. Finally, she managed to grasp the handle and push it aside.

"Look, if you want me to leave, I'll just go," Rae mumbled, not daring to look at the dark skinned male that was sitting against his headboard. She gestured vaguely towards the dormitory exit, flinching when Blaise's head visibly snapped up to stare at her.

"What?" he honestly sounded taken aback. Reluctantly, she met his confused gaze.

"If you don't want me to stay," she flickered her gaze from his eyes to somewhere around his shoulder, not wanting to look at him for too long. She didn't trust herself to stay stoic if she looked at his eyes for more time then was necessary.

Blaise moaned with an emotion that she couldn't identify. Rae watched him as he covered his face with his hands, pulling slightly on the ends of his hair. "Come on Getzinger, don't do that," he groaned.

"What?"

"Look like that!" he waved one hand towards her. "Your 'kicked puppy' expression. It's honestly the most tragic thing that I've ever encountered."

"Sorry?" Rae mumbled. It was more of a question then a real apology. She had no idea what else she was supposed to say. Blaise had stood up and crossed the room faster then she thought possible. He was wearing a pair of boxers now. His arms wrapped around her securely, his face resting in her hair.

"I don't want you to leave," he said sincerely. "I didn't mean to make you think that."

"Okay," Rae mumbled against his skin. She slowly wound her arms around his neck, breathing in his scent. "Can I ask you a question?" she asked after a moment. He muttered an affirmative into her hair. "Does...whatever just happened...have anything to do with what you were _going_ to ask me?"

Blaise pulled away slightly, looking down at her with no expression betraying him. After a minute, he nodded. "It does," he agreed.

"Ask me then," Rae urged. "If you honestly want me to stay here, I can't think of a question that will get you a bad reaction."

"I don't know how to ask," he admitted.

"Try."

"Right," he took her hand, leading her over to his bed and making her sit down. Rae scooted towards the middle of the bed, sitting there and looking up at him expectantly. "Okay, keep in mind that I've never had a real girlfriend before. This is new for me," he began, frowning.

"You've had a girlfriend," Rae scoffed. "Over the summer, you broke up with her. Whatever her name was."

Blaise snorted loudly, shaking his head. "Not even. I told my family that I had a girlfriend, mostly so Alexa would stop pestering me on the topic. That girl was the same as all the others," he shrugged.

"Oh," Rae couldn't think up another reply.

He looked at her for a good few minutes, making her feel slightly self-conscious. "Then there's you."

"So I really am different?" she attempted to joke, grinning as she used his line. Blaise just raised his eyebrows briefly, casting his eyes towards the side for a moment.

"Yeah," he agreed seriously. "You're like...I don't even fucking know," he actually seemed to consider whatever he was about to say. "You're like this huge mass of sunlight. I don't even know how that's possible. I can't describe it. And for some reason, you're important to me. More important then any of the other girls. Hell, I actually remember your name."

"Good start," Rae mumbled. In truth, she was somewhat taken aback. Blaise was not the type of person to be this honest, much less about this kind of subject.

"I guess that's my question," Blaise continued. "I'm asking you to be my girlfriend. Officially. A real one."

"What?" Rae gaped at him, completely dumb-struck.

"Don't make me ask again, it was weird enough the first time," he grumbled. Rae got up so she was kneeling on the bed, edging towards him and resting her arms on his shoulders. She tilted her head so he was forced to look at her.

"First off, that wasn't technically in 'question' format. But, we'll let that slide. Secondly and more importantly, I've wanted to be your girlfriend since we were twelve," she said quietly. "Not that it was really the same thing back then, but it's the basic idea that counts," she grinned at him. "Of course I will."

Relief and happiness flooding into his face, Blaise tackled her into the bed. Rae laughed at he kissed her, with intensity that rivaled every other moment that they'd had. The kiss left her ultimately dizzy, and she stared up into his dark eyes contentedly. "You're beautiful," he told her simply. She felt herself blush.

"You should ask me to be your girlfriend more often," Rae sighed, running her hands through his hair. Blaise just gave her a small smirk, then moved to leave a light trail of kisses down her neck and over her ears. He murmured to her in Italian the whole time, a string of words that she understood none of, but loved all the same. "What are you _saying_?" she finally moaned breathlessly.

He pulled away to look down at her. He smirked widely, pulling at his own shirt that she was wearing. "You don't want to know," he assured her, before crashing his lips onto hers.

* * *

**Honestly, that's probably one of my favorite endings to any chapter I've written so far... **

**What did you think? I'm really hoping for your feedback here, because I loved writing as Rae, and I'd love to know what you guys thought of her and her newly developed relationship with Blaise! I'm considering adding more Rae chapters in the future, any thoughts? Also, on the topic of my suggestive themes warning, what are your guys' thoughts on that? **

**Back to some good Alexa/Draco times in chapter 20, which should be coming along in the next few days :) *hint hint, reviews might make that come sooner :)* **


	20. Attempts at Sibling Bonding

**Hey everyone!**

**Here's chapter 20! Nothing interesting from me to report, I just want to say how much I love all of you. Your reviews are phenomenal, I couldn't ask for a better group of readers or better support then the amount I get from all of you :)**

**I guess I feel like putting a disclaimer up today... A reminder to you all, in case you forgot ;) I own nothing of the Harry Potter saga, all credits to J.K. Rowling and her awesome mind. I do have complete ownership of my OC characters, which are everyone that wasn't in the original story. Duh :) The plot to this story is all mine as well. **

**Anyway, onward!**

* * *

I had dragged myself off to bed about twenty minutes after the encounter with Draco. I had no idea how long I slept for. Probably only a few hours, because it was still dark when I was rudely awakened. I jolted into consciousness by hard knocking coming from my door. Actually, it could barely be described as 'knocking'. It sounded like whoever it was wanted to punch a hole through the door. I half jumped, half fell, from my bed, tripping over to the door and flinging it open. Draco stood there, looking determined and slightly angry.

"Bloody hell- mmpf!" I tried to demand answers, but gave a weird squeak as he grabbed the back of my neck. With that as guidance, he directed me a couple steps back and slammed the door behind him. He proceeded to push me against the now closed door.

"Tell me to stop," he growled. I had the briefest consideration of screaming and punching him. For some reason, I didn't. He was scarier at that moment then I'd seen him in awhile. "I'm sorry," he apologized harshly after a silent moment. His hands tightened on my arms as he pushed me harder against the door.

Before I could think any further or even consider questioning him, he was kissing me. It was like the world was ending. At least, that was the only thing I could compare the intensity to. He didn't let me panic this time, taking advantage of my gaping expression. His tongue stroked against mine, and I cursed myself for not letting him do so on the Astronomy Tower. Kissing Draco was exactly what I believed hadn't existed, he embodied the myth of mind-blowing kissers.

For some reason, I emitted a strange sound into his mouth. I didn't mean to do it, but it was just suddenly there. His reply was to step even closer to me, pushing me impossibly further against the door. I felt every notch in the wood against my back. I also felt every ripple and facet of his chest, as that was pressing just as firmly against me. I was inescapably pinned between Draco and the doorway. Not knowing what else to do, I grabbed handfuls of his shirt, as if I'd fall off the earth if I let go. Draco broke the kiss, leaving me gasping for air as he pressed his lips in a path down my neck, finally grazing his teeth across my skin somewhere around my collarbone area. He sucked determinedly on the same spot, I was positive he left a mark. He continued across my shoulder, pushing the strap of my tank top aside in order to leave his path uninterrupted.

"Draco-" I started, having no idea what to say to him. I had no idea what he was thinking, or why he had suddenly gone sort of insane. In reply, Draco just slid his hands down to my legs, completely lifting me off the ground and forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist. I clung to his shoulders as he pressed me against the door again. Vaguely, I was impressed he was that strong. That thought vanished when he looked at me. His storm of an eye color left me with less air then I already had.

Alexa," he said quietly. I was surprised by how gentle his voice sounded, considering the rest of his current actions.

"What?"

"If this went further, would you stop me?"

I quite literally couldn't breathe. He wasn't making the situation easier, as he was suddenly rubbing distracting patters into the back of my both my legs, where his hands still supported me. His lips continued to brush over my shoulder, making me shudder against him. I felt the action flowing through our position, as there was no space whatsoever between us. It was as if the shiver was reverberating throughout the entire room. "No," I finally panted. I couldn't help the reply. It was a bad realization, the knowledge that I had no power over the situation. I wasn't even sure what he was planning on doing, even though that seemed like a stupid thing to be wondering.

"Good," there was triumph in his voice.

"Stop anyway," I breathed, unable to look at him.

"I thought you just said that you wouldn't do that."

"I can't stop you myself. I'm asking you Draco, please," I let my head rest against the door, trying to think of a way to get some form of normalcy into the situation. Slowly, his hands left my legs, dropping me gently to the ground. I discovered how weak-kneed I really was, collapsing into an ungraceful heap at his feet. It was humiliating, but I couldn't do anything about it.

"What the-" he sounded genuinely surprised at my complete lack of composure. "Jesus, Alexa," he was crouching next to me, placing a hand slowly against my back.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I whispered, unsure if he even heard me.

"What are you talking about?"

I finally looked at him, feeling angry tears burn my eyes. "What you do to all your girls Draco. You make them fall for you. No matter how much they know about you and your _awful_ reputation, they fall for you anyway. No matter how many times they say they won't. No matter how many years I've hated every little thing about you, all I can think about now is that I might be falling for you. And it's all your fault! I hate you Draco, I really do. Which is why I'm so goddamn sorry that I'm actually falling in love with you."

Who would've thought that one day, I'd be handing my butchered heart to Draco Malfoy on a freaking platter?

He let out a weird little laugh, falling from his crouching position into a sitting one. His fingers raked through his hair as he looked at me. I caught my breath in jagged inhales. He took a few deep breaths as well, as if on the verge of speaking. On the fourth breath, he finally did so. "I killed a bird," he announced.

My eyes flickered towards his. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Accident."

"Why are you telling me this?"

Again, he shrugged, shaking his head. "I don't know. You seem like a good person to tell."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"The bird. I'm sorry that you had to see it dead."

"Not your fault," he mumbled quietly. "It's not as if it was a big deal. It was just a bird."

"No, it's a reminder that you did something wrong," I said simply. This was a really bizarre feeling. Seconds ago he had attacked me against a door. Now, we were having a normal conversation.

I suppose it's bad when I consider this type of conversation 'normal'.

"It's not working, is it?" I asked quietly. I turned my eyes towards the floor, registering how strange we both looked sitting there. "Whatever you're trying to do to Dumbledore."

"It's going _fine_," he snarled quietly. I looked up at him through my eyelashes, keeping my head ducked slightly. He was looking right back, though his eyes were slightly wild from the unexpected question. "I won't fail," Draco insisted after a pause.

"I wasn't saying that you will," I mumbled, averting my eyes again and changing positions so I was leaning against the door with my knees drawn to my chest. "I don't believe you though. It's not going fine, is it?"

"Why do you want to know?" he demanded suspiciously.

I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "I don't know Draco, whatever reason you _want_ me to have. At Christmas I'm supposed to become a confident anyway? You look like you're about to explode with the need to tell someone? I'm mildly curious as to how a sixteen year old is planning to kill the Headmaster? You're my friend, and against better judgment I actually care for you? Take your pick."

"Do you really?"

I glanced up, seeing him looking at me with genuine and almost imploring curiosity. "Do I really what?"

"Care for me."

I snorted loudly, letting my head fall backwards so it whacked against the closed door. "Isn't that the reason we're in this position?" I gestured around at the floor where we were sitting. He just looked at me with a forced expression of calm on his face. "Yes Draco. Really," I closed my eyes, covering my face with my hands and rubbing at my now closed eyelids.

I wasn't really expecting anything, therefore I was surprised when I heard him move. I opened my eyes, lowering my fingers to watch him. He moved across the floor towards me, sitting next to me against the door. That was it. He didn't do anything else, he was barely even touching me. He just sat there. "That's good," he muttered after a second of me just looking sideways at him.

"Can I go back to sleep now?" I questioned softly. I really was tired, considering that he woke me up and then proceeded to fill my brain with enough chaos that I was left more exhausted then ever. A very brief smile flashed across his face as he nodded. "Oh good," I sighed, rolling into a standing position and shuffling to my bed. Throwing myself into the mess of covers, I turned on my side to see him still sitting there.

"Do you mind? If I sit here awhile?" he asked quietly, leaning his head against the door.

His tone made me sad. I had no power left in me to refuse him. I rolled away from him and tossed one of my pillows into the window seat. "The ground can't be that comfortable. There's a blanket in the closet, if you want it," I reached up and turned off the lamp that I'd managed to light before I'd opened the door. Dull green light was the only source of illumination in the room now, reflected eerily across the floor from the lake water that the window seat looked out into.

I listened to Draco stand up and cross the room. His silhouette came into my line of vision, and I watched him sit down in the seat. "Thanks," he muttered through the darkness.

"Don't thank me yet. Lucas might wake up and realize you're here," I grinned, even though the darkness hid it from view. I pulled the sleeping cat towards me, resulting in Lucas sighing happily and stretching against my stomach. "Throw the pillow at me if he starts attacking you. Then I can be awake to watch."

"Some friend you are," he scoffed. I watched his dark form stretch out on the seat. I just smiled slightly, not replying as I adjusted my blanket and shifted into a more comfortable position. I fell asleep like that, knowing he was there. I found that I definitely didn't hate the idea.

•••

"So, let me get this straight. You lied about that girl actually being your girlfriend?" I was pretending to be outraged, letting my mouth fall open dramatically in Blaise's direction. Sailor started snickering at the accusation. I proceeded to start grinning at my twin, who spat a watermelon seed in my direction rather then the bowl we were aiming at.

"Way to completely miss the point," he grumbled while I ducked.

"No, I think it's a rather good side point," Sailor shook his head, tilting his head back and spitting a watermelon seed in a high arc into the bowl. "Not only because you lied, but because you made the girl lie as well. I remember the whole introduction thing, mum was ready to wet herself."

I snorted. "See, I have backup. It's absolutely true though, she was so happy that you were 'growing as a person'. Sickening, really."

"Okay fine, side point taken," Blaise sighed. "Shall we focus more on the fact that I'm officially dating _your_ best friend?" he pointed to me with his next slice of watermelon.

"Which has been a long time coming, so I'm honestly quite relieved," I sighed, spitting three seeds into the bowl. Only two went in. "Damn," I sighed.

"Your projectile is all whacked," Sailor lectured. "You're paying more attention to where it goes then the direction you have to spit it in," he demonstrated by sending eight seeds in a straight line into the bowl.

I burst out laughing, applauding him. "This was the best thing about your dad," I told Sailor happily. "I mean, he was an evil asshole at every other time, but this was always so awesome," I looked through the second bowl of uneaten watermelon slices, looking for the perfect one to eat next. "No offense or anything, of course."

"None taken," Sailor shrugged. I smiled, ruffling his hair. Sailor grimaced, ducking out from under my hand. "I'm not that much younger then you," he mumbled.

"Awh, but you're my cute little brother," I snickered. "Who doesn't have a girlfriend! I never thought Blaise would 'officially' beat you to that point, even if you are only thirteen."

"_You were convinced enough before you found out that the girl wasn't actually my girlfriend,_" Blaise grumbled in Italian, making me snicker.

"_Doesn't count. Liar_," I accused. "_Honestly though, I'm glad you're dating Rae. I won't have to listen to her obsessive stalking anymore. And if you repeat that to her I will personally make your life hell._"

"_Good to know,_" Blaise rolled his eyes. "_How much longer do you think we can not speak in English before Sailor loses it?_"

"_Not long,_" I grinned. "_He's getting that crazed look._"

"_Good god, speak a language we can all understand!_" Sailor suddenly shouted. Blaise and I shared incredulous looks before staring at the Gryffindor.

"One, that was horrible pronunciation. Two, what the hell?" Blaise asked, a shocked look on his face. I was sure my expression was no different.

"I looked it up," Sailor grumbled. "So I can yell at you guys when you're being inconsiderate assholes who can't bother to speak English."

"We don't do that!" I scoffed. Sailor gave me a look. "What?"

"Yes you do," Sailor grinned after a moment. "Never mind. We're out of watermelon," he sighed.

"Have we bonded as siblings?" I asked, stacking the bowls and flicking my wand in their direction. They vanished. This was our tradition. It was rare that the house elves would send up watermelon with a feast. Every time they did so, Blaise, Sailor, and I would steal a bowl and find somewhere to eat the watermelon in the castle. Sailor's dad used to try and teach us all how to spit watermelon seeds, the activity obviously stuck with us. Sailor was always the best at it.

"No more then usual," Blaise shrugged.

"You're cheery," I stuck my tongue out at him. "I would think you'd be a little happier, considering you're _actually_ dating someone now!"

"Ha ha," he smirked slightly. "You're hilarious Lex."

"Oh yeah, she's a regular comedian," a disgruntled voice came from down the hall. Rae was stomping towards us, looking upset and flustered.

"Hey, aren't you the one who's dating my brother?" I asked her innocently. Blaise hit me lightly over the back of the head. I pretended to be hurt, turning to pout at him. "You're not supposed to hit a girl," I accused pointedly.

"You're not a girl, you're my sister," he countered.

"Oh yeah, that made sense. Good one," Sailor muttered. "Since you're both being rude; hi Rae!"

"I'm used to it," Rae smirked. "Hey Gryffindork. I'm obligated to call you that, sorry."

"I'm used to it," Sailor shrugged.

Rae smirked again before whirling towards me, regaining her angry and bothered expression. "I've been looking everywhere for you guys! I finally gave up and went to the Great Hall. But then I found Parkinson trying to seduce Malfoy by sexily eating watermelon. How that is possible, we all have yet to know. It's a horrific sight. Anyway, I remembered your weird watermelon thing, so I came looking for you again. Which is why I'm here, finally giving you this that I was supposed to deliver an hour ago," as her monologue concluded, she presented me with a scroll of paper.

"Thanks," I couldn't think of a better reply after that explanation. I pocketed the scroll quickly.

"You're not going to read it?" Blaise asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope," I said simply. I didn't explain further.

After a strange look, Rae shrugged. "Alright then. I've done my duty as a messenger. Hi!" she had turned attention to Blaise, grinning as she settled into his lap.

"Wow, I didn't get a 'hi'," I grumbled, loud enough for everyone to hear. "I got anger and a stupid scroll. Blaise gets an actual greeting? I see how it is. You're abusing my friendship to get to my twin, right?"

"Yep. Good job Lex, you're a detective," Rae agreed dryly.

"Knew it," I grinned. Rae shrugged, turning her attention towards falling into a full on make out session with Blaise. After I shared a glance with Sailor, we both started hacking and coughing obnoxiously, rolling across the floor in dramatic angst.

"Oh, come on, it's not like you've never done it," Rae resurfaced to snap at us. Sailor cleared his throat loudly. "Seriously?" Rae scoffed at him. "You're thirteen, related to Slytherins, and you haven't kissed a girl yet?"

"Just because I'm related to Slytherins doesn't mean I am one," Sailor claimed evenly. "All the other houses aren't as loose as yours is."

"Hey," Rae pointed at him accusingly. "Slytherins aren't 'loose'. We're comfortable with supporting that aspect of our stereotype."

"Use as many big words as you want, it doesn't make it any better," Sailor shrugged.

"Twit," Rae grumbled.

I snorted, getting to my feet. "Well. As interesting as you all are, I have to be going. I have to go stress over my sort of finished Arithmancy homework in the classroom until Vector takes pity on me and ends up giving me a few answers."

"Do you ever actually _do_ your homework?" Blaise sneered, scoffing at me with a small grin on his face.

"Hey, you weren't smart like me. If you got the teachers to _think_ you're a good student in the first few years, you're golden from then on," I shot him a thumbs up. "You started off low with the intentions of working your way up. Which never go well. To think, you call yourself a Slytherin," I waved a dismissive hand in his direction. Not really wanting to hear his reply, I spun around and skipped away from them down the hall.

I did go to Vector's classroom, but I was counting on her not being there yet. Thankfully, my hopes were correct. The room was empty, leaving me to plop down in my normal seat and pull the scroll from my pocket. Ripping it open, I unrolled it and scanned Dumbledore's slanted writing.

_Alexa -_

_In advance, I offer you my sincere apologies. In continuation of our lessons, I would like you to make the trip towards my office at 2AM this evening._

_I give you one reminder: clear your mind._

_I shall see you this evening._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

Well that was just _peachy_. I entertained myself for the next four minutes by ripping the paper into the smallest pieces I could manage. When I'd finished, I had myself a little pile of confetti. Staring at it hatefully for a few minutes, I finally pulled out my wand and flicked it dully towards the pile. It exploded into a little burst of fire, burning the little pile of paper easily.

Turns out, I accidentally scorched the table. Not just a little scorching. Like a huge black mark. The 'impossible to hide' kind of mark. Grimacing, I plopped my bag over the spot and leaned back, feigning innocence as the classroom door opened. I expected Vector to appear, but was surprised to see Hermione enter the classroom.

"Oh good, it's you," I sighed, pulling my bag quickly off the table. It was starting to smoke slightly. I patted it down quickly before casting a cooling spell over the scorch mark.

"What are you _doing_?" Hermione looked amused and confused, rolling her eyes at my antics.

"Burning holes in the table. Obviously," I drawled, flicking at the little pieces of ash that were fluttering around the air in front of me.

"Well, as long as you're not defacing school property," Hermione rolled her eyes as she sat next to me.

"Ooh, do I sense sarcasm? I'm corrupting you," I grinned at her before turning my focus back towards the table. "Think I could just play innocent and pretend it was already here?"

"No," Hermione had her nose buried in a book already, pointedly ignoring me.

"Hey, you're here too. The blame falls on both of us."

"I'm a trustworthy Gryffindor."

"I hate that you're right," I grumbled, dragging myself to my feet and rounding the desk. I pointed my wand at the desk, shrinking it down until it was about the size of my pinky finger. I put it in my pocket. When Hermione glanced at me with a condescending expression, I nodded seriously. "Hey, you never know when you're going to need a damaged table, right?"

"I'd never thought about it," she sniffed, returning to her book.

"That's weird," I scoffed, duplicating another table and directing it to the empty spot. "There. Good as new," I sat down in my chair again, patting the new table fondly. "Nobody will ever know," I smiled widely at her. Hermione rolled her eyes in reply. "Well. Someone's surly," I gestured to her obnoxiously, leaning back in my chair and kicking my feet up against the table.

"We're not going to the library after class," she announced abruptly, snapping her book shut.

"Oh. Okay then. What are you-"

"_We're_," she emphasized my inclusion in this development, "going to talk. Some place where nobody has any chance to overhear."

"Uh, alright. Do you have a dirty secret that you _must_ tell your Slytherin confident? For my _expect_ advice?"

"You're so annoying," she grinned anyway.

"I try for that, actually," I shot her a thumbs up, just as class began by the rest of the class filing in. My curiosity was shoved to the side of my brain as class started, considering that Professor Vector decided to spring a whole new mathematical angle to add to our number charts. I was surprised I wasn't holding a handful of my own hair by the time class ended, I'd been playing with it in agitation enough.

"Honestly, it's not that hard," Hermione was insisting. We were walking down the hall after class ended, both of us still holding a multitude of charts and supporting _Numerology and Grammatica_ between us.

I gave her a sidelong look. "Don't say that. I may hurt you."

She scoffed, pointing out a list of numbers. "Look, you just have to match that on your number chart, use the new formula, and you have your answer. All the numbers are right there in front of you."

"Doesn't mean I know _which_ numbers to use," I grumbled. "Why are we still on the seventh floor, anyway?"

"We're going to talk," Hermione replied, as if this was obvious. When I remained blankly silent, she sighed. "Room of Requirement."

"Oh! Good thinking," I exclaimed. "Anyway..." I returned to looking through the number charts without really understanding anything. "Ever get to the point where you wonder if you're just looking at all this crap upside-down?" I muttered, flipping back and forth between two different lists of information.

"Not really," Hermione replied. I could hear her eye roll.

"You could've humored me there. Really," I sighed, scrunching up my face in irritation. We were one corner away from the Room of Requirement, but someone else rounded it first. I barely had time to think about the unavoidable collision before it happened, sending all of us towards the floor.

"Bloody hell-" the unexpected arrival complained angrily.

From my sprawled position on the ground, I watched number charts flutter through the air, landing haphazardly all around us. "Those were in _order_!" I screamed at Draco, who looked both angry and taken aback at the pair he had ran into.

"Were they numbered?" he smirked.

Ha ha. Number charts. He's freaking hilarious.

"What are you _doing_ up here?" I demanded instead of continuing the oh so witty banter. For some reason, he was already standing again. Prat. I had a wave of nervousness, considering that this was the closest I'd been to him outside of the classroom since our nighttime encounter. I shoved the feeling aside, if only to save myself from blushing. That would've been nicely humiliating.

"I could ask you the same question," he retorted, a hint of irritation in his voice.

"Your girlfriend has taken to prowling the library in search of guys to entertain herself with. Are you not enough to satisfy her?" I drawled, pushing myself upright.

"Who?" he looked momentarily confused.

"Lost track already? Parkinson, duh," I couldn't contain a slight smirk as I waited for his replying scowl.

"We had the Parkinson conversation, Lex. Or have you forgotten?" his expression wasn't what I hoped to get, but remained even and slightly challenging. I did remember, and nearly faltered under the memory of our conversation by the lake. "You haven't answered the question," he continued, saving me from having to reply.

"I thought that was enough. I can't stand the library with her in it. She simpers. It's very distracting. The Room of Requirement is the only other easily accessible location in the school that provides books. Hence, our presence here on the seventh floor. What's your excuse?"

"As much as I'd love to tell you," he drawled sarcastically. "It is definitely none of Granger's business, nor is it really yours. Isn't that right Granger?" he sneered at Hermione, who just stared at him with a hard expression. I did notice her keeping close to the wall, keeping a good distance between herself and Draco.

He didn't call her a mudblood. Vaguely, I wondered why. Was it because of me? I didn't comment, summoning my now messed up number charts towards me. "You're an ass. Ever hear that? Anyway, we must be off. Because I have no idea what any of this crap _means_," I shook my random handful of parchment at him. "_And_ you're intent on continuing on with these ridiculously frequent Quidditch practices."

"You know, there's a time that you've got to just let that go," Draco grumbled.

"Why would I? I can technically blame you if I fail everything this year, so I'm sticking with it," I nodded seriously at him before grabbing Hermione and pulling her around him and down the hall. I didn't look back to see his expression.

Once we were down the hall and out of earshot, Hermione looked at me with an actual patronizing expression on her face. "Alexa," she began, with an air that suggested an intervention.

"What?" I defended, surprised by her tone.

"You are aware that we're going to have to have a Draco Malfoy conversation, right?"

"What are you, my therapist?" I scoffed quietly. "What are you talking about, anyway?"

"How about the fact that you're openly flirting with him?"

"I am not."

"See? You don't even notice. Also, he calls you Lex now?"

Damn. I couldn't think of a response, so I just awkwardly fidgeted while she paced in front of the blank wall. After a minute, the door appeared there, leading us into a cute little study room with books piled haphazardly against every corner. "I thought _you_ were going to talk," I finally muttered, much too late.

"Yeah," she fell into an armchair, dropping her bag unceremoniously on the ground. "You know Slughorn's Christmas party?"

"Uh, not really?" I frowned. "Is this a Slug Club thing?"

She nodded. "I can't believe you don't know about it. Isn't your brother in the Slug Club?"

"I think you just answered your own question. My brother _is_ in the Slug Club, therefore I choose to know nothing about this. What about a Christmas party?"

She sighed, looking exasperated. "Well, we're all meant to bring someone. I was going to bring Ron-"

"But now that he's taking every opportunity to suck face with your excruciatingly obnoxious housemate, that's not working out so well?" I supplied as the conclusion to her sentence. Hermione tilted her head in an angry affirmative. "I could try and set you up with a Slytherin if you wanted," I smirked at her, rubbing my hands together in an exaggeratedly maniacal fashion.

"I'll pass," Hermione grimaced. "Though it would annoy him to no end."

"Oh. Wow. You're trying to make him jealous now? Are you sure he's worth it? I mean, come on. He's a Weasley," I scrunched up my face in disgust.

"He's my friend," she frowned.

"If we're taking the past week as proof of that, I'd hate to know your definition of friendship," I raised an eyebrow. Hermione just continued to look upset. "Sorry. I'm pretty much legally obligated to hate him. Anyway," I flopped into my chair, directing my eyes towards the ceiling to think. "Well, if a Slytherin won't do it, you've got a problem on your hands. Who does he really dislike in your house?"

"I was thinking Cormac McLaggen," she admitted quietly.

I choked on air, lurching upright to stare at her. "No way. Seriously? He's so disgusting. He used to stalk Daphne Greengrass. I was the lucky Prefect who got sent to yell at him every time he got close to the Slytherin common room. I finally forced Draco to come with me and intimidate him away, but the whole ordeal was awful."

Hermione groaned. "I can't think of anyone else! I considered Zacharias Smith, but I think McLaggen would really make Ron more upset."

"Hell, it's your date," I held my hands up, shrugging. "Smith is a Hufflepuff though, so that puts him as a last resort in my book. Though against McLaggen, I may have to rethink...you're just lucky in the romance department, aren't you?" I mocked her, snickering.

"Look who's talking," she retorted instantly. I shut up, grimacing at her. "Are you going to tell me what happened in the Potions storeroom yesterday?" she referred to my stressed conversation with Draco against the shelves of the cupboard.

"Oh," I waved that off, frowning. "That was because I was avoiding him because he decided to kiss me on top of the Astronomy Tower. The really interesting development is that if Draco didn't have a shred of respect in him, we would've ended up shagging last night."

"My issues suddenly seem so boring," Hermione looked shocked, even slightly amused at my dull tone. "I'm surprised to hear that he has any respect at all."

"Like I said before, he's not as evil as everyone makes him out to be," I shrugged. "It's rather a good thing actually, because he woke me up in the middle of the night and pretty much went insane," I trailed off there, not really wanting to continue. Mostly because reliving the memory wasn't something I could handle at that moment. _Also_, because I had a mind-reading lesson that evening. This wasn't the best thing to have floating around my head.

Hermione bit her lip. "So, I'm pretty much obligated to ask," she began slowly, appearing to ponder the words as she spoke them. I waited. "Is he as good a kisser as everyone says?"

Apparently my blush was all she needed, because she burst out laughing.

"Alright then. Shall we keep working on Arithmancy now?"

I was a little too eager to agree.

* * *

**:D Looks like things are getting quite _interesting_ for Alexa and Draco! Please send me a lovely review, if you feel so inclined. Every one makes my day, all of your encouragement inspires me to write faster :)**


	21. Author's Note

Hey everyone.

Yes, I know, I'm the most horrible person to ever exist. Please don't hate me? :)

First off, I'll apologize a million bazillion times for the fact that this isn't actually an update. SORRY! Secondly (this is better news, I promise), I want to assure all of you that I'm NOT abandoning this story, I would never do that to you guys! It's still completely and utterly in progress, and believe me that it's always floating in the front of my brain. I feel really guilty for not updating in forever, but since I've gotten a request to let you all know what's going on here on my end, I'll spew a bunch of excuses at you. Ready? Okay, here it goes.

Really, the only real reason is that school started again! Believe it or not, I don't hate school at all, so I guess that's somewhat of a good thing. But not so much for my story, because school has sucked up ALL MY TIME! It's maddening. It was my brilliant idea to take three AP classes and an honors class, but still. My life is an insane whirlwind of school excitement.

Anyway, I'll assure you once again that I'm not abandoning this story in any way shape or form. It currently takes priority in the writing part of my brain. I want to do what will work in the best interest of the story's success and the happiness of you WONDERFUL readers out there.

Which leads me to my bit of bad news, though I hope it'll be a good decision in the end. As of now, I'm Sorry That I Love You is being put on hold. I SWEAR, it's not permanent at all. I'll be back, count on it :)

Just to give you an idea, I only really want to put this on hold until I organize my life. I've never taken AP classes before, so I feel like I should get into a workable pattern with school and homework and everything. So once I get that sorted, writing will come back into the mix. I think putting the story on hold is better, because it will eventually lead to consistent updates again. I considered just giving really slow updates, but I think that would eventually get annoying and wouldn't work as well.

Gosh, I feel terrible. I'll truly miss you guys in my absence, really. All you readers are so awesome, I love you more then I can say. Please don't loose faith in me, because when I do return, we'll be going strong again! I can't wait for that day :)

Keep an eye on those email alerts...

Until we meet again, darlings.

Love you guys :)

blackshoelaces


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